I Ain't Afraid of No Daleks

I have absolutely nothing to do..well, except Hoover the little area rug in the lounge...and do laundry--which I can't do, cos' I have no quarters (25 cents) to do it with. I was so tired and sore, I totally forgot to get some change, yesterday.

Didn't think it possible, but this place is even duller than Glens Falls. At least there, I could look out on the street. My view here is an empty lot and a chain-link fence.

Despite having a wonky stomach earlier, I went ahead and made tomato-beef stew for dinner, which is simmering on the cooker even as I write this.

I've not been able to make a proper meal in a couple of weeks, so figured I was about due. My appetite is messed up in a big way, but maybe a nice home-cooked meal will appeal to it, for a change.

I am starting to suspect my ketone levels aren't exactly ideal, at the moment.

I tried to contact someone at Sally Army today, so see if I can get assistance sorting out my medical insurance issues--presently, I seem to have lost my access to medical care, when I changed counties. But, all I got was the old shuffle. No one seemed to know whom I should be speaking to, or even if anyone there could assit me. Meh. I'll slog through it again, next week, I suppose....or maybe just not go for medical, dental or eye care. I mean, it's not like I have anyone depending me, is it? It'll save money not going, I won't have co-pays or cab fares and prescription costs.

I'm beyond bored, at the moment. Nothing on tele, my mystery I'm reading is dull as dishwater, still too sore to sit long enough to properly write anything...and not feeling especially creative at present, anyway. There's basically no where to go, and nothing to do. I'm a useless appendage. I'm not well enough to work, or even to be a dependable volunteer. I can't even go for a walk...at least, not very far.

Other than my rent is cheaper, and I don't have the fear Natl. Grid hanging over my head every month, and a nicer (tho far smaller) flat...I really don't see where my life has chaanged all that much, or will ever change.

I guess the grass really isn't greener on the other side of the proverbial fence.

David Tennant has been signed on to present a new reality programme, to be broadcast from some really boring rural location in upstate New York.

The show, "Celebrity Cheesemaking," will feature has-been, washed-up 1980's television and music celebrities, plopped down on random dairy farms, where they have 24 hours to figure out how to milk a cow and make cheese.

The new show is the brainchild of the producers who brought us such hits as, "Amatuer Proctologists Gone Wild," and "Puking with the Stars."

They say now...that the end of the world will be in 2012.

On the bus yesterday, I overheard a young woman say..."Yeah, they said that in 2000 and 2009, but we're still having babies."

Droughts, wildfires, 1000-year floods....Donny Osmond making to the final round of Dancing with the Stars. The end is truly near.

Thanksgiving at my sister's is off.

There's just no way I can work it out. There's absolutely NO public transport to Bennington, Vermont. As in none. Zip, Zero. If you want to go there, you either have to drive yourself, hire a limo, or charter a plane. That's the reality of going to southern Vermont.

What gets me is, Bennington is a city! OK, it's tiny as cities go, but still, it's on a major route to New Hampshire and Massachusetts...I mean, come on! No public transport???

Screw the hybrid cars! Only the reasonably well-off can afford those. What about the rest of us ugly little peons, eeking out our meager existance on minimum wage, or living on tiny fixed incomes like disability or pensions? What people in America need, really need, is effing PUBLIC TRANSPORT.

If we can have a stinking space station, we can afford blinking public transportation! Less cars on the road, mean less dependence on oil--and less deterioration of the public highways. But, hey, common sense, can't have that!

Anyhow, at this point, I'm thinking it'll take 2 planes, a train, three buses, a Jeep Cherokee, a barge, a horse and cart, five tractors and a hay combine, to get me to my sister's on Thanksgiving day.

I can get to Albany, NY, no worries. But from there....no way.

Sis can't pick me up. It's her only day off, and she's got me, my nephew, her partner, her partner's daughter, and her partner's family to get a big holiday meal for *(this is the Yankee equivilent of the British Christmas dinner, mind you).

It's about an hour's drive from Albany to Vermont, then, another 45 min. to her home on the mountain. Her partner won't come and pick me up (seriously, I'm not joking) because he's a right-wing extremeist, and resents not being able to legally pack his gun across the border into NY state, so...I'm just plumb out of luck.

While I wasn't thrilled with spending an entire day with my right-wing bigoted racist sister, I do love her very much, and miss her...and my nephew...haven't seen him since the day of my late mum's funeral, in Nov. of 2005. In fact, I haven't seen a single member of my family since New Year's day of 2006, and I'm thinking it's going to be a long, long time, before I ever see any of them again.

Damn. I wish I'd never moved here.

Just got back from shopping.

Amazingly, the bus thing went very smoothly. while waiting to transfer buses, I even found a little shop in the city centre, that has very cool costume jewelry for under $2. I'll have to pay them another visit someday, when I'm more flush with cash.

Yes, I got to the shopping centre.

They had a shop there, that's exactly like smaller version TK Maxx--even laid out much the same, with almost the same type of clothing..but, their prices were even lower than Maxx, and, they have layaway, which allows you to pay for your merchandise in weekly installments. I saw a pair of snow boots there for $20, so maybe I can get a pair there, instead of Salvation Army. My bad foot makes finding boots the right size, really hard, because my feet are now two different sizes, due to the deformity on the top of my right foot.

I decided this year, that my Xmas prezzie to myself would either be a pair of winter boots or a hair cut.

Anyway, I went to the supermarket...kicking myself mentally, cos' I forgot my coupon. I got a coupon in the post for $5 off a purchase of $25 or more.

I did well, though. I went just a smigeon over my $50 food budget, $52. Not bad.

With what I got, I am going to have in the next week or two:

Pork cutlets with bread stuffing
chicken curry
cherry chicken
beef stew
hamburgers
beef-rice casserole

I also found my favourite brand of kitty litter...don't laugh. I'm genuinely thrilled about this.

This is local litter made at a sawmill in Warrensburg, NY...which is just north of where I lived in Lake George, in 2006, and is made of cedar sawdust...it's lightweight--a big plus, smells good, and last 2 or 3 times longer than the gravelly or scoopable litter. Because it was locally made, I didn't think I'd find it way out here, but yes, I did, and it's great...and not much more expensive than it was back home. Bascially, it's the sawmill's unwanted sawdust, repurposed as kitty litter...it's totally biodegradable and environmentally friendly.

I got to the shopping centre OK, but....it took a cab 45 minutes to pick me up for the 8 minute ride home.

And....my back really, really hurts like hell. I mean, I'm not at the whinging and moaning stage yet, but it's not a lot of giggles for me right now, either.

I was in such pain, that I got sick five minutes after coming home. Flamey must have been having sympathy pains, cos' a few minutes after that, she got sick too. The family that ralphs together, stays together?

I'll be OK. I got the persiable shopping put away. I treated myself to a box of fresh-baked donuts, and I'm predicting that the coffee pot will be perking away, later on this evening, so I'll have something to wash that beautful round cream-filled pastry down with.

I almost backed out of going out today, cos' by 1pm, oh, I was feeling sooo-good and rested. This was the first time in a whole week, I'd woken relatively pain-free and mobile. It was such a blessing!

Unfortunately, ya' gotta' do what ya' gotta do, and I needed to shop for food. Right now, I'm going to take a hot bath and go lie down for a while. Cheers.

I heard on the news recently, that some right-winger's have been protesting homosexuality near one of the local universities.....carrying signs saying it's a sin.

Riiiight. Gender preference is a sin? So, like, these morons really think that homosexuality is a choice? It's like a vending machine? Really?

Of course, these are quite likely the same American morons who think that evolution doesn't exist, and treat prayer like it's a cosmic slot machine, and believe that if you pray hard enough, he'll help you win money, get a car, a job, a home, etc.

Interestingly enough, I notice they aren't protesting other sins which are truly horrible: pedophila, rape, child abuse, war, gang violence, spousal abuse, elder abuse, etc.

Bigotry and God...strange bedfellows...pun intended.

Shesh...sometimes my country's people really do shame me. And you wonder why I chose to become agnostic???

Presenter Graham Norton recently asked actor David "ten-inch" Tennant, if he thought size should matter. Tennant told Norton, "Oh, I think it's a very manly thing to want a big one."

They were discussing the size of the sandwich that Tennant had just ordered from Subway.

http://www.davidtennant.blog.co.uk

1. When was the last time you ran?

I can't actually physcally run, any longer, so it would be before my injury, probably in winter 2007 or some time in 2006.

2. What are your jeans like? Do they have rips and tears in them, are they designer jeans, or simply whatever was on sale? How many pairs do you own?

I hate rips and tears in jeans. They may be cool for the young and trendy, but I never got into that look. I have three or four pairs of designer jeans that I got on sale, some of my jeans are just plain dark blue denim ladies' Lee Rider bootcut jeans, and yes, some are indeed men's jeans that I got very cheaply at Steve & Barry's, Tractor Supply Co. or Walmart, like the flannel lined jeans I bought myself as a birthday gift this year.

I think I have between 8 and 10 pairs of jeans...tho' a couple of them are pretty old.

3. Do you own a pair of Converse trainers?

No, I only have 2 pairs of Keds ladies trainers, but I do have a pair of ladies' black high-top trainers like Converse, only they came from Walmart.

4. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?

Sure, and pushed one about a bit, as well. Damn things.

5. Do you hate it when a DJ talks over the ending or beginning of a favourite song?

I don't hate it, but I can't say I appreciate it, either.

6. Are you cocky?

Heavens, I used to be, driving, until one winter afternoon it nearly got me killed. Not so much any more.

7. Are you afraid to try anything new and different?

Not at all, I have learned to jump in with both feet. I used to be afraid, tho', when I was growing up. But I changed as I got older, now I love new stuff...tho' I won't ever try something new, just because someone else is doing it, or wants me to do it. It's gotta' be on my own terms.

8. Could you live without a computer or mobile phone? How many phones and computers do you own?

I wouldn't like it, but I have lived without these things for months in the recent past, and I can do so again, if need be. I have one rebuilt PC, a Virgin pay-as-you-go mobile phone and an older landline phone.

9. Could you live without television?

I just went the better part of 3 years without it, does that answer your question?

10. Do you wear shoes in your house or flat?

Sometimes I wear slippers if my feet are cold, but generally no, I take off my shoes when I get home.

11. What three things would you do if you won the lottery?

1. Fix my financial situation as best as I can
2. Move me and my pets and stuff to Europe
3. Pay it forward and give back to chairities, such as cancer, dialysis, homeless shelters, food pantries, etc. And, help my sister out as well, of course.

12. Your three current favourite televison programmes you've watched at home in the past week:

Masterpiece Contemporary
Nova
CSI

She sent me two more memes.

And...well, I'm up, there's nothing on tele (tho' there was a fantastic Natl. Geographic documentary about unexplored Buddhist caves in Tibet on earlier tonight)...so, why the heck not? It's something to do, isn't it?

WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT, SIMPLY WRITE THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU SEE THE WORDS BELOW:

WINE:

Fingerlakes.

FASHION;

Town & Country magazine

TREE:

Transcendental

AUSTRALIA:

Ayer's Rock

SKINNY:

David Tennant

FAT:

Me

GHOST:

Ada Lee

BLUE:

Ocean

GREEN:

Spring

FIRE:

Bishop's mansion

WATER:

Dr Who

HAUNTED:

Mum's library

NEIGHBOR:

Harry Best

EUROPE:

Dream

AMERICA:

Broken

CHOCOLATE:

Dark.

MCDONALDS

Big Mac

HOSPITAL

Alone

VEGETABLES

Garden

SCHOOL

College

MONEY

Lottery

POVERTY

Trap

MOUNTAIN:

Adirondacks

DESERT

Dust storm

MODERN:

Furniture

ANCIENT:

Romans

HISTORY:

cool

NEWSPAPER:

editing

BOOK:

wisdom

It is said that one out of three people has a mental illness of some sort. To find out if you are mentally ill, ask two of your family, friends or co-workers, how they are feeling. If they say that they're fine...then you have a problem.

Seriously though, all kidding aside, although Mental Health Awareness Week was the first week of October, I thought I'd just post a few things about a very serious issue.

Some 60 million Amricans suffer from some sort of mental disorder. From SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder, to bi-polar, to anti-social disorders, millions suffer silently, invisibly, from illnesses every bit as devestating as cancer or other obvious physical illnesses.

Only, unlike those with cancer or other physical diseases, those with mental health issues, must deal with something other sick people do not: stigma.

In America, one out of every 17 people suffer from a mental disorder. One half of all lifetime cases of mental illness, begin around the age of 14.

It may take, however, up to ten years for symptoms of mental illness to truly reveal themselves. Or, it may show up quite young.

People with mental issues often are expected either to behave "normally," or, if they are experiencing problems, are called "mental," and treated as if they can actually control their thoughts and behaviours. This usually makes the condition worse for the patient, or, can lead to suicidal thoughts, if the person feels like he or she has been "bad," because he or she cannot control their emotional and thought processes.

Mental illness is a brain issue. A chemical imbalance or head injury, that sort of thing. Most people find it easier to blame the mentally ill person, than to take the time to understand that a human being does not control their brain, but that the brain contols them.

Another issue the mentally ill must deal with, is massive ignorance and fear. Sometimes, parents themselves can make matters worse for their emotioally sick child, by going into total denial...worried more about the stigma of mental illness, than the health of their son or daughter. The "not my child" syndrome.

Left untreated, mental issues, such as anti-social behavioural disorders, bi-polar disorder or clinical depression, can lead to some very serious consequences when that child gets older. It may even lead to that child's eventuall suicide, or, to the child when he or she grows to adulthood, ending up in prison, or in a dysfuctional relationship, or dealing with drug and/or alcohol dependacy, later on in life.

Mental illness is just that...illness. What can you do?

EDUCATE yourself!

- Learn about symptoms that are warning signs.
- Learn about different diagnoses and courses of treatment.
- Discuss any concerns with a doctor

If you love someone, and truly care about him or her...don't ignore behavioural, social or other issues. Treatment may involve combinations of medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy ("talk therapy"), peer support groups or community services. Diet, exercise, sleep and social support networks also play a role.

In the USA, go to: http://www.nami.org

In the UK, visit: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk

I've been trying to dial my friend over in the UK, to no avail. Her number begins with a __, but when I dial, I get some poor sleepy bloke with the same number...only with a zero in front of it.

What's with that???

I am not dialing a zero first, so why am I getting a number with a zero first? Very strange. I did want to speak to my friend, as we've not spoken for quite some time.

Called Time-Warner cable, my phone provider, but the blankity-blank chap said that he was only a "local" operator, and couldn't assist me with an overseas call, and that I'd have to dial customer service. What the eff???

Yeah, thanks mate. You might want to seek employment next time, as a chocolate fireguard.

I've been studiously avoiding all mention of Waters of Mars online...but, some idiot had to PM me and tell me about some of it.

Apparently there's a suicide at the end? I DON'T want to know!

Got that?

Now, anyone who read the above, and still tells me the plot, I can be justified in calling a certified arsehole...with four gold stars attached to the certificate, for being the moron at the top of the arsehole class.

Anyway, she was all upset and prattling on about it, railing at poor Russell T. Davies, the writer-producer.

What the heck is wrong about suicide. I did ask if it showed the person actually killing him or herself. She said no. So...what's the deal?

OK, I can tell you, and I should know; that the biggest killer in any suicidal situation, is not talking..or worse, treating it like leprocy.

Now, I honestly don't know the why's or wherefore's, but I personally think that Mr. Davies made a brave decision--if he thought about it at all. mean, he might have just had the character kill him or herself off just for plot reasons, or he might have thought it out, I don't know.

I think, if the suicide in the script was maybe some kind of spur of the moment sacrifice...I dunno', to save someone or help someone, to save the planet, to save the future of all mankind--any person of character, whom has a solid sense of right and wrong...would they kill themselves?

If the person is deliberately chosing to end his or her life, to save someone, or for a higher purpose, such as saving a planet or the future or whatever...is that wrong? Soldiers, and police and firemen sacrifice themselves for us, every single day, all around the world, and we call them heros. Is the person in Waters of Mars a hero, or did he or she die for internal reasons...depression, confusion, frustration, anger? I don't know yet.

Suicide bombers kill innocent people, and they are cowards. Was it that sort of death? Or was it more personal?

A man or woman with a rope or a gun, or throwing themselves in front of a train or whatever? Is that sort of personal death, is that an act against society, an act of cowardice born of desperation, or a sacrifice of bravery?

That's a question for philosphers, scholars, theologians and shrinks.

Me, I think if this person killed him or herself, for a reason well beyond their own selfish interests, beyond their own emotions, or politics or regligion..if it was so life could go on normally for others, or to save someone from terrible suffering beyond immagination, that's an act of bravery that is raw, honest truth. And, I don't see anything wrong with that.

I didn't know if I could pull the plug on mum, until the few hours before she died. You don't know what life will deal you out. Not from one moment to the next. Will tonight you have a good dream, or a bad one? How can you know?

Suicide is terrifying...not just to the victim, but to western society. Especially to a Catholic person, where it is a mortal sin, driving you into hell or purgatory.

Yet, from what I've been able to gather, the fan forums are all up in arms, upset over the suicide scene. I'm not sure how true that is, as I'm avoiding the forums until after I see the last DT special...trying desperately to avoid spoilers, really I am. I've had so few nice suprises these past few years, I cherish my Dr Who first-time viewings, no joke.

Still, I'm not sure, being me and having the experiences and feelings I've had, how I feel regarding the whinging of the fans. A few fans are really going overboard, I guess, up in arms about the suicide on Waters of Mars.

That's really sending the wrong message to the world, in my opinion.

To me,by publicly denoucing suicide, you are telling real suicidal people that the genuine pain they're feeling is unaccepticable to society.

At least, that's the way I feel. Jeez. Dr Who over the last 45+ yrs, both the old and the new series, has shown and/or mentioned drug use, war, child abuse, sex and homosexuality, anti-social behaviour, environmental damage, political corruption--all sorts of current issues, why pick on suicide?

Suicide should not be made taboo. The more so-called civilized society refuses to discuss it, the more then shun it and treat it openly like a horror...basically, the more people will die of suicide, because they are terrified of the stigma that the people around them, the ignorant and scared people on the internet, have placed upon it.

Dr Who has dissed all sorts of preconceived notions by society. Maybe the time is ripe for discussions about what now is a taboo subject?

Or maybe some of these complaining "fans" should get a life, and remember that, glorious that it is, in the end, Dr Who isn't real. It's just a television programme.

I just had a dizzy spell, and fell down...fortunately, near the sofa...no, thankfully I wasn't hurt.

But, as I looked up, there was my white and ginger cat, Charlie, just sitting there on the floor, staring at me, like, "what the hell are you doing down there?"

Out of my mouth, I whinged, "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

And Charlie reached over with his nose, sniffed me, and walked over to the food dish. Nice to know your pets love you, isn't it? I guess he figured if I was gonna' die, he'd better get all the food he could, while it lasted?

I'm fine, really. I've been a little light-headed all day. I'm sitting here drinking some cold juice now, so no harm done.

For those of you whom are British, I'm referring to a television advert back in the 1980's, that was meant to be serious...however, poor Mrs. Fletcher and her walker, and her famous shrill whinge, became the butt of dozens of sit-com, variety programme and late night talk-show jokes...even to this day.

...I'm not feeling so hot. But, I'll live. Not sure how I managed to get a stomach virus or whatever, when I have hardly been eating, but...poo happens...'scuse the pun.

Also excuse the previous post. Didn't mean it to turn into an anti-conservative rant. Never write when you're sick and grouchy, I suppose is the lesson about that.

I had a comment on that post, by someone who used to be on my friend's list. He used to write long boring and dry commentary about every single business in his home city. When I booted him off my friend's list, he got upset, so I put him back on, cos' it's not his fault his post were dry, I decided. Maybe this was all he had in his life, now. He was a real-life Victor Meldrew type of retiree.

Then, he started putting down my country. OK, I can live with that sometimes. Everyone is entitled to an opinion in a democracy, whether you agree with it or not. But then, he went vicious and nasty and...it was just hateful. Considering that he knew I was an American citizen, I found his little hate rants about America-- to an American on his friend's list, to be really in the very tacky, tactless and NED-like category.

I got disgusted and deleted him.

Still, every once in a while, he comes back with a nasty comment. This British jerk is just that...a jerk. It's OK not to like a country, whether it's your own, or someone else's...but, it's not OK to write comments in childish hate rants, at someone you know whom is a citizen of that nation. It's just not civilized--- and only serves to me, to invalidate any legitimate opinion this "man" might have.

In all my posts about the UK, I might have disagreed with someone British, or a British policy. Yes, at times, I do rant about the wrongs of my own nation, and I am filled with loathing and disgust at the behaviour and actions of many conservative Americans. But, I don't--and never have, made ranting, hate-filled comments on other people's blogs. about their country. That to me would be simply...cheap, petty and shallow.

I mean, I could tell him that his Tories are no better, what with hurting the British people during a dire economic crisis, (blocking Queen's Speech bills), for no other purpose than to get at the Prime Minister. I find that sort of thing very low-brow, petty, mindless thuggery. But, I'm better than that.

I may not be anything much to write home about as a person, but some actions and behaviours, I do consider to be beneath my dignity as a civilized human being.

Again, sorry. I'm in a bad mood.

I've slept my life away for 5 days now. I feel like my life is just grains of sand, sifting through my fingers. You have no idea what it's like to be trapped in a tiny flat in a strange city, over 100 miles away, and be partially bedridden for almost a week. It doesn't do your emotional state a lot of good, let me tell you.

I moved in hopes of seeing a light at the end of the very long, totally dark tunnel...but so far, not even a pinprick is showing.

Speaking of pin-sized pricks, I'm glad to say my going to modding comments has kept the blog scum at bay, of late. I don't have to read the rubbish, just click a button and bin it. After all, who wants to stick their nose into a pile of smelly garbage?

I am not even sure now, why I let these sad little cardboard people even get to me, other than I was stressed out to the max, at the time...and I don't care about it, now. That's very liberating, feeling that way. They might as well not exist, for all I care about them!

On the good news front, a friend in Europe is sending me something to help manage my pain (nothing illegal, of course). I was worried about that, cos' I'm running out of aspirin, and dread having to walk anywhere, even for short distances. Such a wonderful thing to do, bless.

And, I think I may be getting to see Waters of Mars some time, thanks to another friend, (you know who you are), and I am just thrilled to death with that news. Dr Who is so important to me, and it really made me sad to think I wouldn't see it. Even if it had been on the internet, I couldn't have watched it, cos' I couldn't sit in a chair for more than a couple of minutes.

Blimey! I've hardly been able to sit and watch tele, some days. I watched the last installment of Becoming Human again. It only went as far as the development of the atl-atl...or the throwing spear. It was really quite good. Though, I imagine that the Creationists are pissed off to learn that we really are related to Neanderthals...in face, we're all decended from only about 600 pairs of individuals, that were living off the coast of Africa, they reckon...I bet the racists also will hate hearing that little fact.

They had two people on the last installment, whom I'd encountered during my college archeology courses, back in the early 2000's. My prof was also one of the top cave archeologists in the USA, so she had a pretty impressive network here in the USA. She did part of her internship in Egypt and other places, and was once part of the cave exploration team, featured in a Natl. Geographic video. She was one of the best teachers I ever had, and tho' sadly, we didn't part in the best of circumstances, I will always appreciate her, because I never wold have graduated college, or gone overseas, if I hadn't of met her, bless.

Next week's Nova episode on PBS sounds interesting, as well. It's about dreams and dreaming, and what they may mean to us, as human beings.

Well, it's half-past midnight...and I'm wide awake. Sleeping all day sucks, cos' then I feel like...well, like I said, that life is just grains of sand, and my hourglass is broken.

Sometimes, I wonder if this is what it's like, to be alone and dying in some hospital or nursing home, or your own home, somewhere. Do you feel your life slipping away from you? Do you feel like it all doesn't really matter? That you were like some old tree or car or whatever...you were made, you served your purpose (hopefully), and now...you're just waiting for the end.

That's how I feel some days.

17 MILLION American children under the age of 18, went hungry in 2008...a number that has been increasing steadily, since 2005. This year, the estimate is expected to rise to an unprecidented 18 to 20 million American children.

In the state of Texas alone, former president Bush's home state, in 2008, some 200 million pounds of food were given away to poor Texans whom were unable to feed themselves and/or their families...and nothing has been done, and nothing is being done...nothing whatsoever, to try and drop these numbers. This, from the head of the Texas Food Bank, who distributes this food.

The conservatives foam at their mouths senselessly, like rapid dogs, against anything and everything they perceive as "liberal," up to, and including, assisting millions of their fellow Americans, langishing in poverty or near-poverty. This sort of petty, grasping meanness, is what has lowered America into the sewers of civilization.

From fighting nationalized medicine, to gay marriage to denying assistance to a hungry child because they don't want to pay a penny or two more in taxes, to fighting against civil rights, the republican party has, and continutes, to push America back into the 19th century.

your weight:

Fat and if you don't like it, it's entirely your hang-up, not mine.

your height:

Average I guess.

your social life:

What's a social life?

religion:

Sort of mildly agnostic, I suppose.

your family:

Mostly all dead, except for a sister, aunt, nephew and assorted cousins.

partying:

No, I'm a closet transcendentalist and an old maid, I don't do partying. Kidding aside, I just find it mindlessly boring; like sun bathing or watching Entertainment Tonight

sex life:

Erm, hello, old maid. Google it...here's a hint, I'm not the card game.

your childhood:

Well, considering I come from a dysfuctional family with an occasionally abusive dad, I think I actually had a fairly good childhood, most of the time, under the circumstances.

your life now:

It's been de-railed and the train has been sunk in the bottom of life's river.

kids:

Oh yeah, love baby goats! They're adorable, easy to care for, and I wouldn't mind having one as a pet. Oh, you mean children? Erm...too loud, destructive, expensive to feed, and they smell bad.

It's not a bad day out there today, for November. Not as nice as yesterday, when it was in the mid-50's F. But, I'll take 40's F in November. It's become rather dark and overcast now, but, at least it's not snowing.

Doing better, but not great. Up and about a little, but only for a few minutes here and there. It's going to take a day or two for me to tidy the flat, possibly longer. I can't stand or sit upright for long, unfortunately. But, I'm trying.

I hadn't been able to clean the flat in several days--at one point, I couldn't even get up out of bed to answer the phone, which was only on the desk, which is sitting near my bed's foot board.

Still can't sit in the chair for long, to type or make calls or whatever, but I think I'll be OK soon. This wasn't a lot of giggles, and I hadn't expected my back injury to return so soon. I have no idea what may have triggered it again. It felt fine on Wednesday.

I found a fairly comfy position on the sofa, tho' I'm not much of a tele watcher, and I'm often simply dozing in the silence (when Flame isn't meowing), or listening to music from the bedroom and reading.

I did manage to take a load of laundry down to the washer-dryer in the basement, but I'm 50 cents shy of doing a 2nd load (no coin changers here), so until I'm well enough to move about better and start walking, I can't get any change until I go to the shops for it. And, I guess the laundry will just have to pile up...again.

Not a very exciting post, but then I'm not a very exciting person.

Never catch me on any reality programme, ha-ha. Have a good week, all.

I was up and about a bit, today...tho' sitting in my desk chair is still a bit of a problem, hence my silence on my blog.

After a frustrating almost 2 hour wait to get a cab for an all of 3 min. cab ride to the shop round the corner--which cost $12, aks: highway robbery, I was able to get some things I desperately needed...like kitty litter, can't live in a tiny flat without kitty litter.

But, it wasn't easy, shopping with a wonky painful hip, let me tell you!

But the really BIZZARE thing, was...well, picture this: a fat Babushka-looking woman wearing farm duds and almost bent over double w/pain.

I was standing in the till queue, wearing my old, worn Lee Rider jeans with the rolled up cuffs and a black hoodie--with the John Deere tractor logo on it, bearing the historically improbable slogan of: "Making Big Ol' Tractors Since 1837."

The hip and trendy-looking black lady in line next to me, looked me up and down with a snort of derision ("Huh!") that said more than most of the Adirondack redneck grunts which I was used to, ever could. Very rude, but I just grinned at her and shook my head in that reproachful way I learned from my late mum--in reality, I wanted to be rude back, but I wasn't feeling up to behaving like a fellow arsehole, just then.

Anyway, I'm at the till of the little general merchandise shop, and the till clerk, whose name is apparently, "S___," starts chatting me up. Seriously!

I mean, all I want to do is get another cab and go home, put the shopping away, down some more aspirin, and pass out on the sofa. And, here is this bearded middleage bloke, the only clerk on at the shop, whom ignores the other customers, and starts chatting me up! Blimey!

Trust me, even if I wasn't a dedicated genuine old maid, I would NOT be looking for love in the local equivilent to a Woolworth's!

While resting my back, I watched Collision on PBS tonight, really great! Nice to have BBC shows back in my life, again, really lovely. And no, I didn't squee or swoon at David Tennant's presenting skills, but I have to admit he does have a heck of a presence.

So, I'm really very sad to have not been able to see my beloved Who tonight..being 3000 miles acoss the Atlantic is a big bar to that. At least I got to watch SOMETHING by the BBC, bless.

I'm not doing great, but I'm still here. I have sciatica in the right hip again, which is really intense. Sciatica usually goes down the leg, but the hip, it spreads upwards for some reason. And, it's triggered the old sciatic injury on my left side, which does go down the leg.

I've barely been able to eat or drink anything all day, cos' the pain makes me physically ill to my stomach.

Oh, and if that wasn't bad enough, Flame has chosen today to go into heat, and is yowling from time to time. Not bad yet, thank god.

Not being British, I'll be missing Waters of Mars this weekend. Why couldn't I have been born British? Very frustrating for a long-time dedicated Whovian, not to see Who.

Meh, as my motto goes: Life sucks and then you die.

Speaking of water in the heavens, they did find water on the moon. And now what do they plan to do with that information? Will it feed hungry millions? Give free or low-cost medical care to millions? Assist with fighting global warming? End a war? Help educate the needy? Restore run-down neighbourhoods? Provide jobs? Save the economy?

No, NASA just likes to screw around with our billions in tax dollars, just so they can open a bottle of champange and say, "See? I told you so."

i'm not going to be online much, today. My sciatica in my hip is not good, and the pain is also affecting my stomach and making me ill.

Hope everyone out there is having a good day, i'm spending my friday in bed. Cheers.

I was woken shortly after 2am, but a police helicopter buzzing my building, shining its light into my windows. A unique experience for a country girl like me, I must say.

Then, I put on my glasses and looked out the window, and there were several police officers in the empty lot behind the apartment house next door, sweeping the weeds with their flashlights (torches).

How very reassuring the men in blue are on the job in my neighbourhood. Not. Guess I'll hear about it on the news, if it was anything serious.

Just for good measure, I went and put the chain on my front door (it was locked, but, apparently being naive about the situtation in my new town, I hadn't bothered with the chain.)

Never had anything like this in my last place. Back still hurts, hope I can get back to sleep. I'm not well pleased.

I went out to the living room, only to find the three cats huddled up together on the sofa--a rare sight, as Flamey hates the boys--so apparently they didn't like the helicopter hovering overhead, either.

Simply title your post: "David Tennant Nude!"

I've surrendered. Bus company ten, me, nil.

This is THE WORST effing bus schedule I've ever seen in my life! I've tried five times in five days, to catch a bus to the stinking mall, but...it's impossible. I called the bus company, and even the man on the phone had trouble reading his own schedule!

So, I just won't go to the mall or Walmarts.

I hate it here. I may not have bars on my windows or door, but I'm a prisoner, nonetheless. I want to go home.

went to bed after 3am, coughing up a lung, now, I've woken at quarter to ten, with sciatica again.

thankfully, the back isn't as bad as before, and I can sit and walk about, but gosh, it does make my life a bit of a misery.

had weird dreams last night. Must have been the weird meal I had yesterday, for dinner.

That was my only word, after watching this clip: Wow.

Wow is a small word, that means quite a lot, when I say it. You'll have to trust me on that.

That woman is marvelous, as is Tennant. They take those dry dusty words off the page, and breathe into it a rain that washes away the dust, and shows us that Hamlet is as revelant to the human race today, as it ever was in Shakespeare's time.

I've just spent such a frustrating day, I feel like I've wasted 24 hours of my life for nothing.

I had trouble sleeping, and overslept this morning. The alarm clock my friend gave me isn't working, I spent half the afternoon, trying to reach my former local social security office, to clear up an issue with my state medical insurance--and, until I do, I absolutely have no access to ANY medical care--which I need, cos' my chest congestion got so bad tonight, I couldn't keep down my dinner...and, my mystery pain in my toe is getting worse, as well...which is also very bad, cos' of all the walking I have to do.

I tried for almost an HOUR to reach social security. Yesterday, I was on for 20 min. They work until 4pm, but refuse to answer their phones after 3.30pm. After that time, you can get through, but they put you on hold, to dead air, or, they pick up the phone and hang up on you. If they worked in the private sector, they'd be fired for that practice. The US govt. apparently encourages that sort of laziness and crap customer relations, however. And you wonder why my country is so effed up???

I've been trying FOUR times in the past week, to get to this stupid half-empty mall outside the city. I just wanted to get out and see something besides this dull neighbourhood and the walls of my tiny (but nice) flat. There's no parks within walking distance, and really no pleasant places to stroll...and a LOT of hills. I wasn't overly fond of walking up hills at 19, at 49, you can guess that I'm a whole lot less thrilled with that. Walking uphill--even a handicapped ramp, really puts a strain on my bad foot.

Anyway, today I read the bus schedule, grabbed those wonderful coupons for Arby's I got in the post, and decided to go to the dodgy old mall, to get some of my favourite Arby's Roast beef and cheddar melt sandwiches, to take home. I just missed the bus...again. Ugh!!! I'm going to try one more time, tomorrow, then I'm just plain going to give up on going to the mall or Walmart. Forget it, not worth the aggravation!

In some ways, my life has changed very little. Back in my old city, there was an hour wait between buses to get to Walmart's, and that's the same case, here. Only, in my old city, if I could spare the cash, I could take a taxi, for $5 to $6 one-way. Here, to go to the mall or Walmart one-way...roughly the same distance, from what I gather: $10 to $15 one-way. Whoa. That's really, really frustrating. I can't take a taxi here at all, to get around. That's a very ugly, ugly little surprise.

It's no fun waiting an hour for a bus, when you are sick or in pain, or it's freezing cold...or boiling hot. It's no fun carting heavy shopping on a bus, either, by the way. And don't think I'm just talking out of my hat!

And, I decided to make a nice dinner. I had bought some Greek turkey burgers--ground turkey patties with spinach and feta cheese added, to which I added a small amount of Cape Cod low calorie sweet & sour poppyseed salad dressing, as a condiment. With it, I had some tinned southern style seasoned cabbage, and some leftover pasta-mayonnaise salad. Not a great meal, but better for me than a Big Mac value meal, right?

So, halfway through frying the burgers, my phone rings. It's a collection agency call for someone named Debbie. Well, I haven't changed my name, and none of the cats are named Debbie, so wrong number.

Then, the burgers were a bust....the outside was getting overcooked, while the insides were raw..and, the turkey meat was too soft, and was falling apart. I wound up finishing the burgers off in the microwave. I ate it anyway, and while it wasn't anything to shout out about, they were...edible. But, half way through eating my dinner, someone knocked at the front door. It was a delivery guy...looking for apartment number __. My door isn't that number. My door, is clearly marked with a totally different number. I'm like, Hello! Read the number on the stinking door, that's right in your stinking face! So, I got back to my meal, only to find Flamey trying to eat my salad. Ugh.

Then, as I said, I got congested and quite sick. So, I lay down for an hour or so and took a cat nap. Before I lay down, I treated Charlie to a saucer of milk. He's been an exceptionally good boy of late; not trying to get out, and also not chasing or teasing Flamey, so I thought I'd give him a wee reward.

I woke up, to all this milk on the floor. I scolded Charlie for being a slob...but then, when I lifted the saucer...noticed what appeared to be a tiny crack in the saucer. Poor Charlie got scoolded for nothing, and now I have lost the saucer that goes with my blue willow pattern tea cup. Dang. It's my only tea cup and saucer I own. Well, at least I still have my tea cup.

I got an e-mail from one of my fan-girl friends, all excited cos' apparently, she's going to bid on David Tennant's mangy old bed (she even sent me an e-mail pic of it, ) Jeez--and I thought my old wooden 1900's era bed looked a little beat! This guy is a millionare, and this is what he's been sleeping on? Yikes.

And, someone's actually going to bid...on that? Okaay then. Well, apparently it's for charity, so I wish them well with the bidding...just don't expect me to be wetting myself to bid on some skinny Scottish bloke's wroght iron nightmare. OK, to be fair, it looks like it might have been a really nice bed in its day, and I'm sure some fan-girl will be fainting with joy at the thought of sleeping where her poster boy slept.

Anyway, I am not sure why this girl thought I'd be interested in DT's bed, but whatever makes her happy, I suppose.

So, it's just not been a very happy or relaxing day, for me. Maybe tomorrow will be different. Not necessarily better, but...different.

Ok, New York, like a lot of states in America, is in some really deep poo, right now.

Although the governor's gay marriage legislation is on top of New York's legislator's lists right now--which is a good thing, the real news, is the state's rather serious budget crisis.

Mainly, the proposed cuts in Medicaid and education. Medicaid is health care for New York's poor--from single mum's and their children to the disabled to pensioners. It's health care for those whom are too poor to qualify for private health insurance, or, for state-subsidized private health care.

The demorcatic governor says the cuts will all be "administrative," but still, many New Yorker's are very worried. This governor has such a bad track record, that the national demoratic party has publicly requested him not to run for president in 2010. Now, that's not good.

So, amid this big budget criss, what does our lovely governor propose doing? Changing license plates that go on our cars!

Every decade or so, New York changes the look of its license plates. Our official state "colours" are dark blue and gold.

The year I was born, plates were black with gold letters. In mid-60's to early 70's, license plates were dark blue with gold letters/numbers. From the mid- 70's and mid-80's, the colours were gold with dark blue letters-numbers. Then, around the time of the Statue of Libery's anniversary, we went with a plate, of white with blue letters, and a red statue of liberty...then a while ago, the state changed it yet again, to simply a white plate with blue letters.

They also introduced regional license plates. For instance, if you lived in Saratoga County, which has a rich horse racing tradition, you could get a plate with a horsehead in a horseshoe, saying that you were from Saratoga County. In my former county, you could get a mountain scene, saying you were from Warren County, etc. They even introduced sports team liccense plates, I was told. And, if that weren't enough, you could even get plates that sported the official state bird (the bluebird), and other native wildlife.

All for some fat extra fees to go into the state DMV coffers, I'm sure.

So, our "new" plates for our motor vehicles, will revert back to the 70's and early 80's colours, and be gold with blue letters--a bit more flashy than the old 70's-80's version, though, with some graphic flourishes added to it.

Which begs the question, why???

It's not like evyerone will have to rush out and buy new plates for their cars. What happens is, the new plates are phased in, gradually. As you change registration/plates in the normal fashion, you get a new plate.

I'm really not clear--and so far, no news agency has bothered to ask...how will this be helpful for New York state, right now? Will it bring in extra revenues? I don't see how that could be. Will it cost less to make the new plates? Will it cost more?

No one is asking any of these questions, but me, it seems. And I can't get a job as a journalist, so I guess I'm not going to get any answers, any time soon.

This is a bit embarrassing...cos' what it says about me, is mostly bang on. Cluck-cluck. Uh-oh, I hope Col. Sanders isn't reading this.

WHAT FARM ANIMAL ARE YOU?

You Are a Chicken

You are protective of your personal space, and you don't like it when you feel like your boundaries are being crossed.
You can get along with others, even in a big group, as long as you're able to maintain your uniqueness and individuality.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatfarmanimalareyouquiz/

I couldn't find Charlie...until I looked in my bedroom wardrobe. I have the wee cat carrier in there, that I transported flamey here in, and for reasons only his little cat mind knows, Charlie has crawled in there, and is fast asleep.

Last time I looked, he was snoring away on the bed...actually, that's how I found him, I followed the snoring. If Bonnie Prince Charlie was a husband instead of a cat, he'd probably be divorce material, just based on his snoring alone. Seriously, I've heard people that snore quieter than my ginger and white ten-pin bowling ball with fur.

He was sitting on my vacuum cleaner this morning. Maybe he wants me to hoover him, again. He actually kind of gets off on being hoovered. He's definately in need of some councilling, ha-ha.

Can't get rid of this blankity-blank cough! I don't know which is more bothersome; the cough or that uncomfortable feeling of fluid in my chest. Still, I think I'll be rid of this by the end of the month, unless I have a relapse. My sister keeps harping on me that I need antibiotics. I also need a higher income, not getting that, either.

I've stopped following the health care debate and legislation in Washington, D.C. It just makes me sicker than any illness, all this stupidity and wrangling and greed-mongering over the very literal lives of millions of women, children and men. America isn't the land of sunshine and dreams a lot of people like to pretend that it is. There's a whole nightmare of ugliness and meanness that lurking in the darkness of this country...and much of it comes from perfectly ordinary, "normal" people.

Well, I just had my blog post interrupted by a knock at the door. UPS guy. Gosh, can't resist a man in a brown uniform...if I were rich, I'd be sending stuff by UPS all the time, ha-ha. Hey, I'm an old maid, I'm not dead!

It's really sweet and thoughtful, that my friend has sent my cats a treat...and helpful to my budget, as well. I told my cats it was a prezzie from their auntie overseas...I swear, Flamey knew the box was for her, cos' she was climbing all over it, the minute I set it down. It was four boxes of gourmet tinned cat food. Flamey loves her gourmet cat food. The only thing she likes better, is cheese and popcorn.

Would you believe she and Charlie licked the plate completely clean already? They're sitting around washing their paws. Boots wouldn't wake up, so he lost out, I'm afraid. He was so zoned out, he slept through the man knocking at the door--normally, a knock at my door sends Boots running for cover. Well, he'll get some tonight, at their regular feeding time.

I'm out of fries (chips) and a couple of other necessities, so I'm going out shopping up the street. I thought about trying out the buses today, but I still have some housework that needs doing in here, and some phone calls to make, so I think I'll wait to tomorrow to take a day off.

I was tired after all the bustle of yesterday. I watched Antiques Roadshow on PBS at 8pm, then turned off the television, and hung around the computer and read an Agatha Christie book I got at the library, before turning in early. Unfortunately, about half an hour after I went to bed, I started my coughing festival again, so wound up being up until 2am, before I nodded off again. Meh, at least the cough isn't a 24 hour thing, like before, and I can sleep. Sleep's a wonderful healer.

I'll have to figure out how to get to a supermarket this weekend. Not having a car really is a pain. A 45 minute to one-hour shopping trip by car, can easily take two hours to half a day, by bus. Not fun.

I have a lead on a work at home job. It would be working for a former co-worker who started his own business, doing much the same work as I did at my last employer. A lot of my former co-workers have gone to work for him. All you need is a landline phone and high-speed internet...which I have. I'm going to check it out this week. The extra funds would be great, and, I wouldn't have to worry about commuting by bus. And, you don't have to live in the area, as I've been told that one of my co-workers also moved away and works for him.

I heard from my farm-lady friend. They're strugging with the farm. It was a bad summer for haying and other crops, as June and July were unusually cool and wet. They lost some calves at birth. Had to sell several heifers--including my lovely Paige, to help pay the feed bill. She's not working, so all they have is the farm income, and the income from her guy's job as a NY state lock tender. I hope she finds a good job, soon.

New York is doing their best to assist family farmers--agriculture is one of this state's top industries...still, from what I'd heard back in October, it's not really going to be enough, and some farmers are going to go under. For people who don't care about that, think about the extra you'll have to pay for your food, when it's got to be shipped from a longer distance...and about the higher taxes you'll pay when local businesses go under and can't pay their taxes--true, farmers get tax breaks, but they still have taxes nevertheless, not just business-related taxes, but all the same taxes as their non-farming neighbours...and, there's land taxes, as well. Farmers have hundreds of acres they have to pay taxes on.

Well, no snowfall today. It's overcast, but not cold, not by my standards, anyway. It was colder in October, than it is in November. Of course, where I was living was a good 10 degrees or more colder, than where I'm living now.

I have to be very careful with spending. I had to get some things I needed for my new place. I'm a bit nervous about spending the $50 to go to my sisters. I only get one cheque on the 3rd of each month, and there simply isn't anything else. Just like the food stamps, once it's gone, it's gone forever, there's nothing more until the next check comes on the 3rd of the next month, and the 7th (when I get food stamps). Hand-to-mouth existance, they call it, and people who don't live on a fixed income, are really clueless how hard that sort of life really is.

Save your supermarket recipts for a month, see if you could live on $200 from the 7th to the 7th! I looked it up, $200.00 equals 119.511 GBP.

Well, I'm off for a jaunt up the road to the shop. Hope you all are having a good day. Cheers.

Got three meme's in my in-box when I got back online, this is the third..and hopefully, the last, for a while.

YOUR MOMENTS MEME---GIVE DETAILS!

YOUR MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT:

Sitting on top of an Icelandic horse, on a hill, but inside an ancient volcanic crater, almost literally on top of the world, with the cleanest, purest air in all the world, blowing in my face. Wonderful!

YOUR WEIRDEST:

Actually seeing the ghost in mum's old library building (the former village school)...I thought she was taking the mickey out of me, but no, the ghost of Ada Lee was quite real, I assure you.

YOUR SCARIEST:

It's a tie between being told I had to sing the paper to turn off my mum's life support, and the day I got the pending foreclosure letter in the post, notifying me that I was about to lose my home.

YOUR CRAZIEST:

Being elected by my study group, to be a female Jerry Sringer in a presentation skit, in front of a couple of hundred students and teachers, in a foreign country I'd only been in for two weeks...and never having watched the Jerry Springer show until the night before. I pulled it off, too. Crazy, man.

YOUR MOST EMBARASSING:

One time, when my mum and sister and I were visiting my dad's cousin's wife, during the winter months, I was walking down her front steps, when I hit a patch of ice and did a complete somersault in the air, landing on my head in a pile of snow with my fat arse sticking up in the air...and my sister blurted out, "Free Willie!" And everyone laughed.

HAPPIEST MOMENT:

Graduating from college with my AA degree in 2003.

SADDEST MOMENT:

Holding mum's hand as she died and having to tell my sister over the phone, "She's gone."

MOST SERENE:

Standing in my snowshoes, in a field of fresh snow at midnight on a frigid sub-zero (F) cold Christmas eve, under a full moon, with the landscape bright with the blue light of the moon, and ice crystals floating in the air, the stars so sharp and clear you felt like you could reach up and touch them...and it so quiet, I could hear the bells of a Catholic church tolling, over half a mile away...and I cold see the christmas lights of some of the houses on the hills across the river...and it was so peaceful and magical, that words never really could describe it.

MOST ANGRY:

Something I'm not proud of and won't discuss publicly.

MOST EXCITING:

The afternoon I was told it was OK for me to sit in Dr Who's car, Bessie. Seriously, I was just...awed.

MOST BIZZARE:

The night in Egypt, when I sipped a fruity drink with an umbrella in it, danced in a conga line lead by a belly dancer, and had my picture taken with a very handsome whirling dervish.

MOST UPSETTING:

Also in Egypt, While trapped on a cruise ship on the Nile, I got a severe dressing down in public by someone I respected, due to a complaint I was not question about, or allowed to defend myself about. I was also severely ill with travler's sickness. I got off the cruise ship, only to find that neither of my parents were answering their phone, and ended up calling the local hospital back home from Luxor, only to find that both my mum and dad were in hospital, our 7 cats were stick in our caravan, without water, because it was minus 40 C/minus 40 F, and the water pipes were broken...when I requested assistance from our group leader to fly home--I was strongly discouraged against doing so...and, I never saw my dad alive again.

MOST NERVOUS:

Learning how to drive. I was a nervous wreck...ironically, I learned to love driving, later on.

MOST RELAXED;

Sailing in the Netherlands on a wooden Friesian sailboat on a lake. I was excited too, but also it was probably the most relaxing two days I'd ever had.

MOST INTENSE:

My first (and only) horse show, in winter of 1980. I was a substitute rider for the college western riding club, for the western pleasure riding class. I am very competittive, and it was one of the only times in my life, I had butterflies in my stomach. When I got on that horse, I was just so intense and focused, cos' i wanted to do really well...and I did, I placed second, and my friend placed first.

MOST APPALLING:

Isn't that like embarrassing? Or is that beyond embarrassing?

Well, it was my first proper full-length play, in front of a real audience, opening night. It was theater in the round--the stage was a raised platform on the main stage, with intimate seating in the round..we were almost literally acting right in the audience's laps. Mum wasn't well enough to go, but my dad came up to see me on opening night. I asked that he not be seated in my direct line of sight. So...what do they do? Yup, I'm acting and my mark is right square facing my dad--who was in the front row. Damn!

So, it was a scene with me and one other actor. I was a maid, he was a member of the family. He said his line, I said mine, he said his line---and I made the mistake of looking at my dad....and my mind went utterly blank. I mean, the lines were utterly gone from my head, like they'd never existed! After stammering badly for what seemed an eternity, I immediately dropped to the first line in my head...which was practically the next to last line! OMG, I was definately appalled...after the scene was over, the teenage boy gave me a severe dressing down and stormed off....while I sat in the green room, bawling my eyes out...I couldn't stop! Of course, which only made me more appalled...that and the knowledge that my elderly dad drove 50 miles to see me totally screw up.

Then the play's director came in and had a tantrum at me...the theater director (my professor) took me to her office and calmed me down. If I died that night, I think I would have thought it a blessing. You can bet that for the next couple of weeks, I didn't forget a single line again, tho'.

I haven't acted in another play, since. No. Way. I opted to run sound effects, for the other production I had to do. At least backstage, if you mess up, no one can see you!

I had an issue with my new phone, but all fixed now!

Yes, I can wait by the phone, waiting for calls that never come, but safe in the knowledge that my phone actually works, now.

I was eating a frozen pizza I cooked for dinner tonight, when I felt something hard rolling around in my mouth. I have a bad tooth, and the bulk of it broke off whilst I was eating.

It's a wee tender there, but surprisingly not too bad.

My cold is on the mend, tho' the cough will be with me for a while, I suppose. I got lots of rest this weekend, and was a regular slugabed for a couple of days. Which means of course, that I have to hustle tomorrow and clean the flat top to bottom. Not that I didn't do anything, but I confess I did keep things down to a minimum, and mostly either stayed in bed, or sat on the sofa watching tele. Tho', I did go for a couple of brief strolls, both days.

It was a gorgeous weekend here, despite the wet snow on Friday. It's warmer in my new town, than in my former location--but then, I was in the mountains there, and at a slightly higher elevation. Tonight it was more than 15 degrees fahrenheight warmer here, than from where I just moved from. Not too shabby, that.

It's supposed to be what we here in the states call an "Indian summer" for the next few days with spring-like and summer-like temperatures. November can be very much like that, in upstate New York: snow showers or frigid cold one day, summer-like temps a few days later.

As a stable hand, one week in November, I had to wear my insulated ski overalls, hat, gloves, and all the other winter accouterments on a Monday. On Monday, the horses were wearing their heavy canvas New Zealand rugs, and I was banging ice out of water buckets. By Friday, I was working in just jeans and a tee shirt, and got out of work early, cos' I didn't have to rug up the horses or deal with frozen stuff.

I went for a walk today, down the main street of my new town. There's not a lot of shops in comfortable walking distance for me, but a few more than I had availbable in my former city, certainly.

One of the shops is a gourmet burger joint. The burger joint is set up in, ironically, and old White Tower shop--a burger chain from my childhood, that made the best burgers in the US.
Unlike the old White Tower chain, whose burgers cost about 75 cents, back in the 60's and early 70's, this posh shop wants almost $7 per burger, and none of them are just ordinary burgers, oh no!

(Looks around, then whispers conspiritorialy) They're POSH, don'tcha know. (Snif.)

They've got to have all these fancy-shmancy toppings, and set atop some posh roll, no doubt. Yes, for the cost of a package of ground beef (mince), you can buy one gourmet burger.

White Tower was put out of business by McDonald's. They cooked their burgers to order, w/ fried onions. Nom-nom! Never had a better one.

You see, hamburgers are supposed to be greasy. When it comes to steaks & burgers, fat is where all the flavour is! Lean ground beef (mince) is tasteless, like cardboard. That's why posh restaurants have to jazz up their burgers all the time.

Ideally, hamburgers should be 80% lean, not 90 or 95%. Then, you don't need to add feta or asagio cheese, jalpenos, or whatever. Add just a little bit of ice water plus salt and pepper to your taste, to 80% lean ground beef (mince), gently blend it and form your patties, fry or grill it--preferably with minced or chopped onions, slap it on a toasted, grilled, steamed or plain bun, add your favourite condiments...and viola! You have the perfect hamburger.

That's another thing: Ground beef doesn't like being manhandled too much. Too much handling toughens the meat.

I prefer to cook my burgers much like the old White Tower lady used to do. I like to not only fry my burgers with onions, I like to grill the burger rolls--toast them in the pan, as well.

Sometimes I'll do a posh burger. I like BBQ sauce, sliced cheddar and breaded fried onion rings. Or, swiss cheese, lettuce, raw onion and my favourite salad dressing, such as Russian, poppyseed, bleu cheese or ranch.

Mostly, I add ketchup, mayo and fried or raw onions, to one of my homemade burgers.

Last week, at the posh supermarket, meat was really high, so I cut out the fresh beef hamburger patties. Too expesnive! Instead, I found an inexpensive replacement: Greek turkeyburgers (ground turkey patties), w/ spinanch and feta cheese added to them.

I got 2 Greek turkey patties for around $2.50, instead of 4 beef patties for approx. $6. Dunno' if I'll like Greek turkey burgers, but for the price, I'm willing to give it a go. Thought I'd try topping them with some sweet & sour poppyseed salad dressing.

As the ebony night disloves into stardust, and the stardust into transparent moonbeams, and as those moonbeams fade into the coming of the dawn....I will remember you most fondly.

America's gun culture is nothing short of diseased. It's a sickness that has spread across our culture for over 200 years. Owning a gun really isn't so much a right, as a privliedge...one that too many Americans abuse on a regular basis.

We needed guns in Colonial America for food and protection. There was little or no law enforcement, especially on the frontier and in the wilderness.

Today, everywhere, in all 50 states, we have federal, state, county, town and city law enforcement agencies. We even have, in times of dire emergency, a National Guard (militia).

Yet, gun control is a farce. The limited amount of gun johns who use their weapons as toys, ego-boosters and second penises, value their own rights, over the rights of millions of non-gun owners. They want law and order--but not laws that will impact THEM.

So, tens of thousands of innocent children, women and men die, in America every day, because small-brained, emotionally insecure white trash johhny redneck is terrified that he might have to have his metal penis cut off. And...innocent children die, needlessly, cos' the spoilt brats calling themselves American "men" think their guns are more important than a child's life.

In the state of California alone, in 2005, every 2 hours and 45 minutes, a child or teenager was killed by a gun. That's SIXTY-ONE kids under the age of 18, in one state alone, butchered by guns, EACH WEEK of 2005.

We don't need gun control. We need to neuter selfish, brain-dead, souless, cowardly American gun owners.

Think about that. Children dying before their time, of gunshot wounds, are a hundred times less important to American gun owners, than their precious weapons. And we're different from the terrorists whom value their roadside bombs that kill children more than they value human life.....how????

I want out of this sewer called America, because, and I swear this, every passing year I see less and less of a gap between those cowardly terrorists we're supposed to be fighting, and...ourselves. Whether it's guns or socialized health care, or simple parenting; we as a nation seem to care no more for our own children, than some roadside bomber in Iraq who blows up a family.

I watched a crime show tonight.

It was one of those anti-crime programmes, designed to help catch violent criminals. Yet, the American presenter, an anti-crime advocate, said of one cheap automatic weapon: "This isn't a sporting weapon, it's a killing weapon."

That is the mindset of America's gun owners. They try to justify their love of guns, by lowering the bar. A sporting weapon as opposed to a crime weapon? HORSE PUCKY.

No, jackass. ALL guns are killing weapons! That's a gun's SOLE purpose: to KILL.

A shotgun used on pheasants, can kill a man or woman or child, just as easily as a bird...or a cheaply made assault rifle.

Next time some mother's child is bleeding his or her life out on the pavement, try telling her the difference between a "sporting" gun, and a "killing" gun. Anyone who knows of a death of a child by a gun, and still is against gun control, is rubbish as a human being, and a total coward, and has no better thought-process than some roadside bomber.

I had three meme's waiting for me in my mailbox when I got back online. Here's number 2. I may have done this one in the past, I'm not sure.

1. What time is it where you are, right now?

4.51pm Eastern Standard Time USA

2. Has anyone ever told you that you have a massive ego problem?

No.

3. Do you have issues with spelling?

Lately in the last year or two, yes. Not sure why.

4. Do you think you're weird?

Yeah, sort of, I guess.

5. Do you like being weird, if you are?

Meh. I am what I am.

6. Paper or plastic?

Well, hardly anyone offers paper, any more. I prefer it though. It's sturdier than most plastic bags--I had a plastic bag break on me, before I barely left the till, at the shop the other day. And, paper is more biodegradable than plastic..and when I was a child, every autuun, mum, my sister and I, would sit at the kitchen table, and use paper supermarket bags, to make covers for our school textbooks with, to keep them nice.

7. Do secretely think that children's art is crap?

No, actually I'm rather suprised at how talented some of these children are. My artwork is crap, however.

8. Have you ever been in a bar fight?

No....well, when I was a child, playing cowboys and indians, I once beat up my friend in a pretend saloon fight, ha-ha.

9. Who would be a better president: Sarah Palin or a can of Pringles?

Oh, Pringles, hands-down. Especially if it's sweet mesquite BBQ or honey mustard flavour.

10. Meet George W. Bush or step in dog poo?

Dog poo...I can always take off my shoe and throw it at Bush.

I've spent 45% of the last three days in bed, trying to regenerate my health. Unfortunately, I have to walk to the shops and stuff, in the wet snow and raw wind, and that hasn't been helpful for my chest.

Still, I'm coping.

Unfortunately, I am a bit run-down, and the little grey cells are sort of stuck in neutral the last few days--and, i've bruised one finger somehow, and am typing with a sticking plaster on it...not easy to do.

so, don't be expecting a lot of posts from me for a while...oh, I'll get back to it soon, but I'm a bit overwhelmed and brain dysfuctional, at the moment.

There's a reason I went without television for about 4 years, and the last 24 hrs were a prime example. Yesterday, a cable channel showed the film, Thelma & Louise...twice in the same day. Today, it showed it again...at the exact same time that a different cable channel was showing Thelma & Louise. So, I'm paying $10 a month, to watch Thelma and Lousie four times in a 24 hour period. Which I suppose would be fine, if I loved the film. Unfortunately, I don't. It's OK once, but four times is a bit much.

Two other cable channels seem to air the same handful of programmes, over and over and over again. Why? Why bother in investing in a network when you have nothing but the same crap to spew out, day after day? This is why Americans are stupid. They put up with this crap. The only redeeming quality of television for me right now, is Public Broadcasting. And even some fo their programmes are crap...tho far less than the commercial channels.

I tried to watch Dancing With the Stars, but sorry, boring pap just isn't digestible to me. I'd rather read a book. Even that book I saw in the dollar shop a while back, on the history of air conditioning, would be less boring to me, than watching Dancing With the Stars! Outside of Donny Osmond, I didn't recognize a single celebrity on there, and all the banial back chatter of the hosts was making my brain start to ooze out.

Still, there was that Nova documentary Becoming Human, Antiques Roadshow, Eastenders, the film The Man in the Iron Mask (love The Three Musketeers..men and their swords, can't beat that), the running of The Breeder's Cup, and the news from the BBC, so not a total loss.

I went to the local branch of the city library, yesterday. Massive disappointment. I have never seen such a bland and uninteresting and quite frankly, bad, selection of tripe in all my born days. Is this what the locals read? God help me. I wanted an Agatha Christie mystery. There was...none. None! Tons of mystery books, and no Agatha Christie? I did find one paperback of hers, at the last....filed with the "P's." Good greif! What DO the four library people I saw in that one tiny little library branch DO with their time???

My mum had a one-room library when she retired...it was maybe a quarter of the size bigger than this branch. My mum would have a fit if books were shelved wrong! I casually mentioned that I found a Christie book among the "P" authors to the librarian...and he said...NOTHING. Not a word, not even a shrug. He had the personality of a limp dish rag.

I looked up historical fiction--the bulk of it was actually historical romances. OK. I am really getting fed up with these 'new' libraries and librarians. Romance novels are romance novels, historical or otherwise.

Historical fiction is not romance. It is drama, action, etc. Historical fiction does not generally have covers with scantilly clad well-endowed women swooning into the arms of a bare-chested male supermodel look-alike on the cover. WHEN are these STUPID librarians going to get their noses out of their asses, and figure out the difference between historical fiction and historical ROMANCE?

I'm sick of having to look through 15 or 20 romance novels, to find one actual true historical fiction book. I did manage to find a western that I'd not read in years, that I liked, the Christie book and a medevil mystery novel by an author I'd never tried before. I liked the Cadfiel books, so I'm hoping this book will be just as good as those. No Ellis Peters in the local branch library, alas. They had only one Steinbeck and one Conan Doyle, so I'm guessing they're not going to be big on popular literature. They seemed to lean more towards popular fiction and Oprah book club selections...bleh.

I'm not a snob or anything. I'll read comic books and stuff like that. But, I cannot bring myself to read something, just because it's popular, or because some celebrity or critic, or professor or whomever, says they like it. I want to read what I like, not what someone else does. I will read a lot of different stuff, but on my own terms. Basically, if the first few paragraphs of chapter one grab me, I'll read it. If not, I give it a pass. I have favourite genes, yes: historical mystery, westerns, historical fiction. Sometimes I read other stuff: sci-fi and fantasy, sometimes the classics or non-fiction, and sometimes humour and/or general novels.

Yet, there are some genres I avoid like the Biblical plague, such as Romance novels. Bleh! I'm an old maid, I don't do fluffy-wuffy puke-fest romance. In other words, I can't stand it...yet, I have to wade through fluffy novel after fluffy novel, to find an actual work of historical fiction--literature, treasure, not cheap easy-reader mindless trash.

How stupid have we gotten, when we can't even use our grey cells to differentiate between literature and a trashy romance novel? That is just too sad for words, and I despair of ever finding any real librarians left in America.

How bad is it, when one can't tell the rather significant difference between say, a Hortio Hornblower novel, and The Rescue of Princess Bambi?

Ironically, I checked out a non-fiction book while at the library, titled: Americans Are Idiots.

The local postman seems to back up this theory.

I posted my rent check on Wednesday, leaving it sticking out of the mailbox so the postman would see it. Today is Saturday, and as I got my mail, I spied a corner of white sticking out of the bottom of the box. It was my rent check--the postman did not only NOT take my outgoing post---he jammed all the incoming post for the last several days on top of it, so it was jammed down into the bottom of my mailbox--which sits high up on the wall, above my eye-level, and if I hadn't seen that corner of white, I never would have known it hadn't gone out with the post.

Angry doesn't begin to cover how I feel, and my language at this discovery was just a tad rude, I'm afraid.

That posh supermarket a friend took me to yesterday was nice, if a bit expensive. They did have a nice variety of food there...and, apprently, posh toliet paper, as well.

You see, I had to buy TP for the loo. They even had TP in pastel colours. Now, think about that. Who thinks of TP as a bathroom accessory?

Why does it need to be colour-coordinated to match the towels or the tile or walls?

What sort of woman or man looks at something meant to wipe your bottom with, and thinks, "Oh, that'll match my towels ever so nicely!"

Someone e-mailed me today that David Tennant has done--or will do--a pilot episode for an NBC televison dramedy (drama-comedy), about a Chicago lawyer (Tennant) whom advises people on how to defend themselves in court.

I don't know anything other than that, so if you want to know more, you'll have to do a Google search yourselves.

I just finished watching a programme about how the Navajo and Hopi tribes in the southwest, are trying to change their way of life on the reservation, by pursuing renewable resources.

You see, the tribes in the 1960's, signed away chunks of their land to coal and power companies. The result, after 35 years, is that the coal companies have polluted the air and desert water supplies, and, used up valuable life-giving water, draining the pure water of underground aquifers dry or nearly so.

The Navajo and Hopi's succeeded in shutting down one of the power plants and coal mining operation--which supplied much of the power to Los Angles. Unfortunately, this also meant the virtually irreplaceable loss of over 200 jobs. And, the loss of multi-million dollar royalty checks from the power company.

There are huge power lines running through the Navajo reservation, and yet many Navajo have no electrity or running water.

There are still two working power plants on the reservation. Many Indians have suffered from cancer clusters, as a direct result of power plant and coal mining pollution. Water for their crops, livestock and homes is also becoming more and more limited.

Now, the Navajo nation is divided; one faction wishes to build a new "clean" coal plant on the reservation--which the tribe will own a percentage of, the other faction wants to pursue renewable energy as a way of providing jobs and more earth and human friendly energy.

Renewable energy--such as solar and/or wind power--are very viable and very easy to do, on the reservation, which being largely open desert, sees a lot of sunshine and wind.

The Navajos are interested, California is showing interest...the money is there, the technology is there, it should be easy---except, that the politicians in Washington D. C., are the chattels and prostitutes of the energy companies.

The have sold, not only themselves, but the future health of the Hopi and Navajo and the limited resource of water in the southwestern states.

The politicians in Washington D. C. and elsewhere in the USA, have bared their deliberate stupidity, moral laziness and evil greed to the entire world, making a mockery of global warming concerns.

America could be the world's largest producer of renewable energy--but, the energy companies have fought against things like tax credits, and allowing renewable producers to come on to the energy grid.

We could be a world leader, but instead, we're slaves, peons, arse lickers. Washington politicians are nothing more than whores and johns to the powerful energy lobby.

We aren't the most powerful nation in the world, while we are pimping ourselves to big business. We are most certinly not a true democracy, when corporate lawyers, CEO's and lobbyists, are allowed to dictate the future---the very lives, of millions of Americans...and the rest of the world.

The name of the film is "Power Paths," and it appeared on Independent Lens on PBS (Public Broadcasting Corporation).

My e-mail's inbox was a bit full, and no, I don't want to enlarge my manhood or my boobs, thanks.

I had a couple of meme's waiting for me, so I'm back with a typically boring meme:

1. As a teen, did you get along with your parents?

Do any teenagers ever really get along with their parents? It was over 30 years ago, now, so my recollections aren't exactly fresh, but I think I got on pretty well, with my mum and dad, tho' of course, we did have our spats. It was your average teen-parent relationship, probably.

2. What did you do after high school?

Went to college to study western horsemanship/stable management, that didn't work out so well, so then I went to a national park 2000+ miles away in the Rocky Mountains, to learn the cooking trade.

3. What are your politics?

Definately liberal...democrat..I suppose the UK equivilent would be labour.

4. What matters to you most, materialistically? What's your favourite possession? What's your most coveted possession?

Oh, I don't know. I have this rubbish oil on board western painting, what's known today as "outsider art," by a black man named George Hoose, that my aunt gifted me for my 7th birthday, which I treasure. I had a decorative Victorian-era Saxony wall plate, of a gentleman and lady fox-hunting. It disppeared somewhere between Glens Falls and where I'm living now, but that was my second-favourite possession. And, my computer and my books, they mean a lot to me. My Dr Who DVD's mean the world to me, as well, of course, a couple of my model horses and my Tiffany stained glass museum poster, as well as some framed family photos. Those are my favourite possessions, I suppose. Oh, and my "new" used sofa, love the sofa.

I'm not sure what my "most coveted" possession would be, to be perfectly honest. I'd love to own my own saddle again--(saddles are no more all alike in style, size and comfort than autos are), or a older model Ford Ranger, maybe a camera or a tape recorder...I really guess right now, I'd love a tiny kitchen table, so I wouldn't have to eat off the trunk/coffee table, or at my computer desk. But, I don't care if I never get any of these things. I have what I have, and that's good enough for me.

5. Non-materialistically, what's important to you?

That's a bit of a transcendental question. I suppose I should say: friends, my pets, poverty-health care, social justice, environmental conservation, compassion, empathy, good manners, education, respect for others, the arts, preserving and studying our history.

6. What do you think about texting and deliberate mis-spelling of words (such as 'kewl')?

Well, if people think it's "kewl" to look like you're too iltterate (stupid) and/or lazy to make the effort to communicate properly, fine.

7. What do you think of boys who wear their trousers around their ass?

I think they look just as ridiculous as those guys who sport a soul patch on their chins, or middle age gents who wear comic book tee shirts, or elderly men with pony tails.

But again, if boys want to look silly or not dress their age, hey, that's their perrogitive, and I won't hold it against them...tho' I won't promise not to giggle behind their backs. I still wear a cowboy hat sometimes, and backwoods togs, so I've gotten giggles behind my back. You learn to live with it.

8. Do you like to shop at Walmart? (Asda in the UK)

I shop there when I can't afford to shop elsewhere, but it's not my favourite place to shop, no.

9. Do you ever shop at TJ Maxx? (TK Maxx in the UK)

When I can afford it, yes, I do like to shop there. I only go there about once or twice a year, tho', if at all.

10. List 10 of your current favorite musical acts:

The Gaslight Anthem
The Kaiser Chiefs
Michael Mazzarella and the Rooks
The New Pornographers
The Proclaimers
The Fratellis
The Takeover U.K.
The Rifles
Enter the Haggis
Strawberry Fair

11. Any new acts you've listened to, lately?

Well, new to me--what's new to me, may be old to most of you, I don't know. I've been pretty much out of the musical loop for a while.

I'm always sniffing around the 'net, looking for new artists to listen to. Lately in the past few months, I've heard these acts for the first time:

Soul Asylum
Divine Comedy
The Light Wires
Dodgy
The Submarines
Bat for Lashes
Lloyd Cole and the Commotions
Duke Special
The Verve
The Redwalls
Lakes
Dave Porter
Hale
Lifehouse
Aerogramme
The Style Council
Swan Lake
Seven Mary Three
Spoon
Stairwell
Strawberry Fair
The Jesus and Mary Chain
The Ordinary Boys
Sash!
The Magnolia Electric Company

12. How much television do you watch per day? How many channels do you get?

I've only just got TV for the first time in years, yesterday. I guess I watched about 2 1/2 hours last night, and about 30 minutes, today. I think I get about 10 to 14 channels.

13. What did you watch on television last night?

BBC Worldwide news, Antiques Roadshow from Louisville Kentucky, and a show called Super Nanny.

14. What will you watch tonight?

Well, there's that Nova documentary on PBS, Becoming Human, which looks fantastic. I studied some of that stuff in my archaelogy course, so I think I'll enjoy that. I have no clue what else is on. I will probably watch BBC Worldwide news again, I suppose....I'll have to think about buying a TV guide when I go shopping tomorrow, maybe.

15. Last three songs you heard?

Canadian Rose by Blues Traveler
To Die a Virgin by Divine Comedy
Shimmy Low by The Clarks

Well, I'm in my new digs. The cable guy just left, so I've got phone-internet-televsion, now.

Flame spent part of the afternoon checking out the cable guy's bum...beat me to it. He wasn't half bad from the front, either.

Be blogging again in no time, now.