"I'm from Jamica, mon."

A sheep walks up to a bar, and the bartender says, "Get out! We won't serve ewe in here!"

An elderly woman was sitting in a car park knitting. When she started up her car, she left her knitting in her lap. Going down the road, her knitting fell off of her lap, and while she was retreving it, her car ran through a red light. A motorcycle policeman noticed and gave chase, but the woman was still fussed over her knitting and didn't see him. Finally, the police officer pulls up to her open car window, shouting, "Pull over!" The woman only shook her head, saying, "No officer, it's a vest!"