I Ain't Afraid of No Daleks

Why do I keep banging my head against life's brick walls?

My phone is down---not important why. I went in the rain (thunderstorms here today) to a pay phone and rang up National Grid. As expected, it was a total waste of my time. I got soaked for nothing (it wasn't raining when I left, so, sod's law being what it is, I didn't bring my rain poncho).

As I walked along the pavement on my way home, passing a chav family, walking down the road in the rain--baby in pram, two slightly older kids, young mum and dad (or really rubbish child minders), casually strolling along, in their tees and shorts in the lightning and pissing down rain, like it was a sunny summer day....I thought, as daft as those people are, they probably aren't half as daft as I am.

I knew what the outcome of that (short and snarky) phone conversation with the woman at National Grid would be: "NO." (Translation: "Tough cheese, pay up or piss off.")

You know, National Grid doesn't even list the number you call to fiddle with your account? You have to call the main number, sit on hold, only to be told, when you finally do get a live person, that you have to call a completely different number, if you have a problem paying on your account. Bastards.

National Grid is a UK company. I used to want to be British. I'm not feeling very well disposed towards the UK at the moment. Home of National Grid, the bastards who make Satan seem like a jolly good fellow.

You see, if one is on the budget plan, one CANNOT be late....EVER. Not literally by one second. Their word is law. It cannot be broken, and the state of New York is so in bed with National Grid, they might as well take out a weekly rate on some sleezy motel room. The state of New York has more interest in the money NG shells out to them, rather than protecting consumers.

I'd write some more rude inuendo regarding National Grid and the New York State "Public Service" (laughs) Commision--which overseas power companies...but, what use would that be?

The bottom line is I might as well pull down my pants and turn my ass to the devil, 'cos I'm screwed. There is no bend in National Grid, they are a bunch of mindless, souless

I'm tired. I'm tired right down to my soul....tired of me, tired of a pointless existance. I have friends, but I am alone here. In the end, there's no one here but me. And, the harsh truth is, that me is not taking care of myself very well...I am messing up right left and centre, and I am helpless to prevent any of this. There's no one here to hold my hand, and say, "did you pay that bill?" I am responsible for this mess...not just the bill, but my whole entire life. None of you really know me. If you did, if you really knew me, you wouldn't like me very much. I don't like me very much.

Well, this is too depressing, even for me. I have to go get ready. I need to find a bag to put over my bike seat so my arse won't get wet. I'm going to be soaked going into work tonight. I don't want to go to work. I want to stay in bed and mope..but life goes on. If we're here, if we're not here...doesn't matter.

These words I write in my blog, have never changed anyone's life. They never will. Most people come to my blog for naked pics of David Tennant--but my friends, you are valued, yes you are. You are special. But...sometimes a person needs more than words on a page, sometimes, I person just needs more--and when the page of life seems blank--where do you go from there?

Life goes on, the music plays, the lightning flashes, the rain comes down, and Nancy G tries to sell stuff to people who hate her, and don't what the shite she's pushing. Another night in hell.

I did something stupid again, on Friday. I paid the wrong amount on my electric bill...short on the payment by about 7 stinking dollars. I thought it was 206 for some reason only my stinking wonky brain knows, and it was 213.

This means, that I'm going to have my electric shut off. That National fucking Grid is going to cancel my "budget" plan, and send me a bill for more money than I make in a month, which of course I cannot pay, and then, there goes my electric and gas.

That I can no longer take care of myself, has suddenly, glaringly, become painfully obvious. I don't know what I'm going to do, other than the discovery of my error this morning, will probably result in me doing something to the negative.

I am nothing, who the hell am I, anyway? Nobody. I add nothing to this life I'm in, I have no value. I'm just a moron sitting here blogging and reading all day, going to work to a job a trained monkey could do...a job I don't even do very well. Will I ever find a job I'm good at? No. I know the answer will be no. It will always be no. I'm not needed for anything. A person needs to feel useful, and I'm so not that. I'm no use to myself, even...that much has just become apparent.

There's no one to blame for this, but myself. I don't know what I'm going to do....nothing, for now, except sit here and feel sorry for myself, dribbling snot and tears, I suppose. Hate myself, most definately. Being bi-polar totally sucks.

I quit.

1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest?

Well...sort of a tie, I think. I have Afraid To Ride by C. W. Anderson, which mum bought for me when I was around 11 years old...but, about that same time, I inherited a children's book that belonged to one of my parents, Robinson Caruso. Since that's from the 1930's, and the other book is from 1970 or '71, I guess Caruso is the oldest, technically speaking.

2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next?

Current read is Dark Horse by Tami Hoag, last read(s) was both Admiral Hornblower in the West Indies, and Shakespeare Alive! Next...Cloudy in the West by Elmer Kelton.

3. What book did everyone like and you hated?

Some book that was part of Oprah's book club, about missionaries in the Belgian Congo. Hated every minute of it...but had to read it for an English course in college. Think it was called The Mosquito Coast...Kingslover was the author...and it may have been a brilliant book, but, when it wasn't boring me to tears, it was depressing the hell out of me.

4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t?

Oh, there's several of those: Catcher in the Rye, Orley Farm, The Great Gatsby. Maybe I will, someday, you never know.

5. Which book are you saving for “retirement?”

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare...it's sitting right here on the bookshelf (literally) at my knee, waitng to be read---but, wait a minute, hold on---WHAT retirement? Poor people don't get the luxury of retirement, we work until we are sent to the county nursing home or we die....retirement years indeed...pfft. You can tell a upscale "professional" wrote this meme.

6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end?

Gosh, talk about the ultimate spoiler---I don't like spoilers in Dr Who, and I DON'T read the last page/chapter first...ever. How utterly and completely pointless would that be?

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside?

Sometimes I read them....I think if the author was assisted in his or her work, it's only proper that the author should do the right thing and acknowledge those whom helped bring the work to life, and perhaps, also helped make the work better.

8. Which book character would you switch places with?

I guess it would be easy to say, a companion in one of the Dr Who books, but, I always, since I was a child, envied "Judy" the plucky girl who loved horses, but became afraid to ride after an accident, then, after a long spell--which involved rescuing an abused mare--she got back on again, and eventually saved the day. Yeah, I thought "Judy" in Afraid to Ride was really cool.

9. Do you have a book or books that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)?

Oh yes. Emerson's Essays--his essay on nature, written in 1836, reminds me of home. Then, there's Richard II--the banishment scene..this is going to sound really silly, but I actually wept, 'cos I knew what it's like to be forced to leave behind a land which you love. And, there's a book of poetry--it's a rare book, only around 100 copies remain I was told...it's called "Morning Moods," by Vermont poet, Lorna Greene, who died young in the early 1920's...she wasn't a great poet, yet, her works really speak to me and touch me, in so many ways.

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way.

When mum was alive and working at our village library, she used to get donations of used books--which the psuedo-posh shallow people serving on the library board, turned their collective noses up at. In the 15 or 17 years of my being an unrecognized and unpaid practically full-time "volunteer,' mum rewarded me in two ways: buying me dinner out once or twice a week (Usually pizza or a sub), or, giving me books she was told to scrap.

In this way, I got: a full set of leather-bound "British Poets" from 1814. A first edition book on the biography of Daniel Boone from the 1850's. A whole slew of mystery books from the 1920's--complete with original colourful dust jackets. And, a collection of science fiction magazines from the 1940's and 50's. A book on the "Fighting 49th" regiment from the American Civil War--a personal and sometimes surprsingly graphic contemporary account of a Civil War soldier.

Not a one of these I have any longer, alas. What wasn't stolen from me by some shady friends of my sister during a move, was either destroyed when a roof partly collapsed from the weight of ice (water and books don't go well together), or was sold to help me put petrol in my car's tank when I was strapped for cash.

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person?

Sure. I've parted with a favourite book called "Poems From the Persian," which I gave to my maths professor (and friend), as a way of thanking her for helping me to pass maths in college so I could graduate..and also, just for being so incredibly kind to me.

12. Which book has been with you to the most places?

Probably either Emerson's Essays, or Morning Moods (poetry). I used to take Emerson or poetry on hikes with me, and took Morning Moods on both my overseas trips.

13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later?

Dracula. Didn't like it in high school, but liked it later, when I re-read it, in my mid-20s.

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book?

I once found an old receipt from a feed store in one of those 1920's mystery books--but, I also found an old pop-up calendar...it was like an old-fashioned greeting card, about 3 or 4 inches high, shaped like a girl in a bonnet holding a basket of flowers, that was a stand up..it had a miniature unused calendar attached, from 1923. We had it for year, on mum's old secretary desk...can't remember whatever became of it.

15. Used or brand new?

Well, a bit 50/50 with me. I love it whenever I'm able to buy a new book (a rare event for me)--but, I also love to prowl around used book sales--used books can be wonderful--and if they're out of print, a great find, and, a great bargain, as well!

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses?

You know, I've never read a Stephen King book in my entire life? I only rarely read things on the "best seller" list...not out of snobbery, it's just that I've got very elclectic tastes in reading materials.

17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book?

Acutally, no, I haven't. I usually find that film maker's (at least in the USA) take far too many liberties with books (and sometimes, facts). I don't mind a paired down version of a book, but when the story deviates so much, as to be only vaguely like the book...meh.

I think perhaps the only exception was The Shadow Riders, based on a Louis L'amour western. That was a tad better than the book, yeah.

18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid?

I don't go to the movies, haven't been in years. I don't have televison at home...so it's hard to say. I haven't really got an answer to that...all i can think of is The Black Stallion--Francis Ford Coppola took way too many 'scenic' liberties with that book, and whereas I found the book wonderful, as a child and young adult--I was grossly disappointed in the film.

19. 19. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take?

NOBODY. I don't let anyone dictate to me what to read. I don't pay the slightest attention to book lists. I read what I want to read, and if that's some out of print paperback western from the 50's, or the latest popular novel from the New York Times best seller list...it's just a matter of what grabs me, and not what someone tells me is good or bad.

Exception: should a friend ask me to read a book, I usually will--if I like it within the first chapter or two, I will read it through, if I don't..then I don't read it, it's that simple.

20. How many books do you have in your home, and how many are fiction and how many are non-fiction? What types of books do you have on your shelves?

I probably have somewhere over 150 books at the moment. I'd say about 60% fiction, and 40% non-fiction.

Fiction consists mainly of: westerns, sci-fi/fantasy, mystery/crime, classics/literature, horse/animal stories/children's, short story colllections, historical novels and some misc. fiction.

Non-fiction includes: poetry, plays/theater/shakespeare, outdoors/nature/animals, horse books, writing/grammar/dictionary, etc., American history, ancient history, world history, the arts (music/art/museums), biographies/personal essays, culture, religions, misc. subjects.

I sometimes feel, sitting here, that I am merely a player, and extra in the shadows of life's stage, standing far away, in the gloom of upstage, more of a prop than a person.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the shadow--T S Eliot

playwrite27 here.

So...everyone thought the correct answer was number three! Fooled you! Aren't I a clever girl? (Not.)

An overcast damp day, here. Got some odd comments in my blog this morning--deleted them. One was from a blog spammer masqerading as a legitimate comment. Yeah, like the link under your comment that has nothing to do with the post/comment, isn't a hint?

Another was some Indian guy, commenting on some post from about 4 or 5 months ago, talking some crazy shite I couldn't make heads or tails off...another flippin' nutjob.

Nutjobs are bad enough when they're American...cos' anyone who knows, knows we Yanks can barely speak our own language as it is, but then to have a nutjob from some other country, who's grasp of English grammar is worse than an American, commenting on here....sheesh!

Unlike The Guardian, on my blog, comment is only free if you mind your P's and Q's....and for gawd's sake, don't babble at me, and actually make sense!

Looks like it may clear up, later, which will be nice. The weather's to be unsettled all week, shifting from hot and sunny to cool and rainy, from day to day. Not great for the tourists, but I have no life, so what do I care?

I was going to pedal over to the laundromat on Bay Street behind me, to do a few dirtys, but then remembered that I was out of cat food, so I think a trip to the supermarket would be a tad wiser...if I don't want the cats to mutiny, that is.

They are, all three, asleep at the moment. Had their breakfast, now time for a kitty lie in. Boots likes to sleep on a chair out on my balcony, big fat ol' Charlie just plops wherever he pleases, and I think Flame has gone back to bed in my summer wardrobe closet...there's also cardboard boxes in there, and she likes to crawl inside one to sleep. I had to wake her, this morning. Flame basically stumbled out of the closet, wobbling on her legs. She lazily jumped up on my bed, and sat there, hung over, eyes half-open, yawning like crazy....very human! I think I kept her up too late last night--Flamey likes to go to bed early.

....two.

I do have a pic of David Tennant, but it's an autographed post card, not of him and me.

And, I have actually met a former presidential candidate, former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean, whom, basically, finished in third place in the 2000 presidential election...but, I've never had my picture taken with him.

I do, however, have a big ol' glossy photo, of me sitting at a table on a dinner barge on the Nile, drinking from a fruity drink with an umbrella in it, being hugged by a whirling dervish--one of the entertainers on the barge...and, actually, he was young and fit and, well, basically he was the foxiest guy I've ever had my picture taken with (sorry David Tennant).

These are some pics of a whirling dervish dancer on a Nile dinner boat, which I found on the internet. Not as good looking as foxy guy, but, you at least can see what a whirling dervish is.

Only one of these three things about me, is true. Which one?

1. I had my picture taken with David Tennant

2. I had my picture taken with a whirling dervish

3. I had my picture taken with a man who once ran for president of the United States

Answer to appear on the morrow, gentle readers.

Taking a break from the house chores, I stopped and stood looking at my gran's picture...my dad's mum. Bertha and Lukas took passage in a ship, leaving behind all they knew, for an uncertain future in the state of New York. Uncertain indeed. Gran had been a deaf/mute since her fall from a horse cart as a child.

After arriving at Ellis Island in the 1900's, a young wife, Bertha and Lukas somehow found their way to northeastern New York state. Gran brought 5 children into the world, working as a farm labourer beside her husband, in rural Albany County, New York, before having two more, in a small city on the Hudson River, where her husband found work in a factory, shoveling coal into a boiler....a boiler that exploded and killed him, just months before their last child was to be born...my dad. And, only five years before the Great Depression would make the hard life of a widow with children, even harder.

All this, I got mostly from mum--who was an amateur largely self-taught genealogist, and a little from dad and some of my aunts.

But, I cannot help but think about the leaving behind of all you know. Of losing a home--for the loss of a home is not something to be taken lightly. It is not just a home...it is your memories, you life, your very security. For many, a home is what makes up part of who you are...I mean, the place where you were brought up, and/or a place you own yourself.

Losing any place is hard, so very hard. But, losing something that is YOURS, God, that is not a fate I'd wish on anyone.

I speak as someone who has lost homes...two that were my own. It is different, so very different, when it is yours that is lost, and not just a rental somewhere.

If you love the land upon which you dwell, it is all that harder.

And, I was thinking about the evictions in Ireland and Scotland, back in history. When you are close to the land, losing your home is all the more painful--it's more than painful, it's like losing a part of your own soul. Oh, you go on, and maybe even to better things, eventually. But...still. There is a hole in your heart, that can never be re-filled.

I've lost a home that was my own, and, I've lost a home with land that I was raised on, land that I've loved--that was a part of who I was, a part of the very air that I breathed.

I mourned the loss of my caravan, but I got over it. I have never gotten over the loss of the land I grew up on. I don't think I can. It's too ingrained in my blood. It grew into me, as much as a vine can become part of the tree it climbs.

Those evicted farmers of old, their wives and children, standing on a dockside somewhere, looking upon the land they knew they'd likely never see again--and certainly would never live on again...what were they thinking? What scars did that severence of ties leave in its wake? Were they hopeful of a better future, glad to leave hardship behind? Or, did they, numbly stare at the green hills fading in the distance, like a girl seeing her lover off to the gallows?

And, when they got to wherever they landed--whether across the sea, or across a country--did they turn their back on their past and embrace their new town/country, or did they sometimes, in a wistful moment, turn sad eyes to the hills, dreaming of that which they left behind? The person who loses home and land they love, sometimes is an emotional compass, not quite knowing where their heart truly dwells.

Greetings from playwrite27.

My computer appears to be back to normal this morning. No idea what was going on with it, last night...but I do get quite put out when some techno-geek abitrarily decides to either change things, or put a bug on innocent people's computer.

You have to wonder about these geeks who plant viruses...I mean, what sort of bloke wants to have total strangers daydreaming, about him having his balls ripped off his body and shoved down his throat? That's not a power trip, that's just...sad.

Anyway, I did manage to get some sleep last night--for a while. About 3 o'clock in the morning...someone knocked on my door! I'm like, "WHAT?!!?"

Turns out it was some black lady looking for the hillbilly's sister, that lives next door. Damn. I wasn't churlish with the woman, but I wasn't happy. See, this building is all cut up--it's got entrences on all four sides of the building, for the seven different flats. Our part of the building, you go in the door, down a hallway, up two flights of stairs, and there's my door at the top of the creaky old stairs, and then, you make a U-turn 'round the bannister, and there's my next door neighbour's door, on the opposite side.

So, it's only natural I suppose, that folks knock on my door, first...cops, odd assortments of strangers. But...who the hell goes visiting at 3am in the morning, though? I'm left wondering if someone in there is dealing drugs again. Blimey! The detectives just arrested the woman next door's son and his girlfriend, both of whom were illegally living there (they've a court order judgement against them, for them to stay away from our building)...now what?

I came home from work yesterday, only to find my way blocked by ladders and scaffolding--one of which was set up right against my apartment door--brilliant! And, if I was inside and didn't know the ladder was there, and tried to open the door suddenly--the ladder--possibly with the idiot on it, would have tumbled down the staircase!

...the owners are having the two twats with tools sheet rock'ing and re-stuccoing and painting the hallway...mind you, they haven't done a damn thing with the rickety staircase, except remove the mangy carpet. These people just sort of do stuff when they feel like it, without notifying any of us that live here, of their plans.

Woke with a headache again...two days in a row. Not prone to headaches, must be the humid weather or something...but, my foot is much better today, and I'm feeling a bit more rested today, as well.

There's no jobs to be had, this year. They're all taken. That's unheard of! I mean, there's ALWAYS jobs to be had in Lake George during the summer season...employees come and go there, like ants in an ant colony. I feel like song title, "I want to be wanted."

I've a fly in here, and it's driving me bonkers! I had a fly swatter last summer, but can't find it. It must be buried in a box in one of my closets... (what IS it with Glens Falls and flies? It's worse than when I was working in the stable!) Seriously, Glens Falls is full of flies, apparently...this is my third summer here, and the flies are just horrendous!

I suppose it's better than clouds of mosquitoes or hoardes of bees...but that's little consolation, with flies buzzing around your lounge, every time you open a window...how they manage to get through the screen, I've yet to discover. I've also an infestation of tiny moths in my apartment, as well as spiders...I so dislike this place, sometimes. I truly feel like I've landed in hell. Say what you will about life in the country, but I didn't have flies in my house!

The two twats with tools are out in the hallway at 11am on a Sunday morning, banging on my walls...thank you landlords. So much for a quiet, relaxing Sunday afternoon. My ONE day off a week, and I have to listen to the two twats hammering up sheet rock. Lovely.

Haven't found a new place yet. Saw one advertised in Fort Edward, but they wanted both the first month's rent and security deposit up front, and no can do. It's almost impossible! I have three cats and no car, and precious little funds, and my health is so-so. It's like a person with a brain injury being asked to do calculus! Very daunting. Incredibly daunting. I need someone to hold my hand, ha-ha. No, not really. I've gone through a lot worse, alone. I'll manage somehow.

Suppose I should get off my duff, get some druthers and do something today. I've no plans, just going to play it by ear, for now.

I read where David Tennant has something big in the works, coming up later this year, but there was no hint as to what that could be. Perhaps Tennant himself, doesn't even know for sure. It got me to thinking, how daft people are, over celebrities. I mean, look at all the literally dozens of people (almost all Americans, significantly), Googleing to see if Tennant is gay, last night. It's rather hard to wrap my head around, sometimes. I often wonder how it all doesn't drive Tennant bonkers...he must be one very well-balanced guy!

Look at the weirdos who've stalked and trolled me, on here--and I'm NOBODY! I mean, you can't get more of a nobody than me, in blog land...look up "nobody" in the dictionary, and there's my picture...well, maybe not. Still, if I get nutjobs on here sometimes, what is it like for some A-list celebrity like Tennant? It's a mad world, out there.

My two boys are not having much success with the balcony window, of late.

First, I'd come in off my little balcony the other night, and wanted to shut the sliding window...and Charlie wouldn't come in. So, I got fed up and told him he could just stay out there all night, then, and shut it.

Well, Charlie decided he didn't want to be out there on his own, and--didn't realize the window was shut! I heard a big "BANG!" and looked, and Charlie was standing out there, shaking his head and sneezing violently--he must gone to jump through what he thought was an open window, and banged his nose solidly against the glass....I know I should have felt really bad, and I did...but I couldn't help myself, I just about busted a gut, laughing at the indignant expression on his face.

Cats are funny.

Tonight, I also heard a bang out on the balcony, but, the window was shut and all three cats were inside, so I thought a wind had come up and knocked something over. Then, I heard some pietious meowing out there....

..."What the hell?" I thought. I went out, and boots was out there, quite upset, his face all dirty--and then, it dawned on me. He'd been standing on the storage trunk alongside the window, checking out a bug on the screen--in his excitement to get the bug, somehow he must have banged against the screen (which isn't latched all that well) and somehow slipped through the bottom, out on to the balcony. Thank God there is a balcony there--he would have fallen two stories, if not!

Poor boots. For a big ol' ginger tom, he's quite timid, gentle and easily frightened. His face is all smudged with grey dirt. He was so happy to be "rescued," and have me scoop him up in my arms--he wrapped his paws around my neck and buried his head in my shoulder (an "awwww-" moment).

OK, I tried several times to log on and log off the internet, to fix whatever the hell the problem was--so I figured out how to get back my "favorites,"...but my bottom toolbar was still missing, and the top toolbar was still doing its disappearing-reappearing act...which wasn't making me very a happy!

I thought I might have to give up blogging, cos' my toolbar was messed up--thought I had another virus on here, or something. Can't use the internet if the toolbars are gone!

It was so strange--it was there, than not there, then my bottom bar went, then it all appeared again, like it normally is, out of the blue. What the hell??? It's so upsetting when I can't use the computer, you have no idea how much.

Well, really, I do so depend on the internet for my contact with the "outside world," that any anomaly that messes up my computer, basically messes up my life, in a very big way.

Today, was quite literally the very first day I've gone outside this city and its environs in exactly a month. So, you see, I NEED the internet.

After work today, I took two trips by trolley the 7 miles north to Lake George, today. Strangely, if I had a car, and went on the street behind me, west, It's only five miles to the lake--well, it's a big lake really, all of, I think, 27 miles long. "Queen of the American Lakes" is how it's billed...and it really is a lovely body of water, I think.

My first trolley ride, resulted in me trying not to dribble a yummy soft ice cream down my chin, while watching the cruise boats and parasailers, the horse drawn surrey's and mobs of tourists, parading past me. Somebody was getting married on board the mid-size Mohican tour boat, today. Poor slobs.

My second trolley ride wasn't planned. On the trip south out of Lake George, I'd decided to stop at Walmart's to pick up some cat food and bread and stuff that I needed. However, I'd just missed the regular bus back to where I live, so I decided to hop a trolley--thing was, it was blazing hot standing on the pavement in the sun (I'd forgotten my sunglasses--my eye surgeon wouldn't be pleased about that)...and, the only bus offering itself was the north-bound trolley...so, rather than stand on my bad foot in the hot sun for another 20 minutes, I decided that an air-conditioned trolley bus ride, back north--and then, back south, would be fine--took the same amount of time as if I'd waited for it to come back 'round, anyway.

I was so tired when I got home though, I stretched out on the bed to read, and sacked out for four hours, without ever realizing it. It's been so hot in my room for the past few days--about 80 F, that I've been having a hell of a time trying to sleep...and my appetite is way off. I literally had to force myself to choke down some food, today. I have to eat in order to take my meds. The one med I'm on will do a number on my stomach, if I don't take it with food. Even tho' I've the makings for a proper meal, I settled for a salami sandwich and a few Pringles, for my tea tonight. With luck, tomorrow I will feel like eating again...if not, well, I'll just have to fake it.

I was planning on making butter chicken curry tomorrow night, with steamed cauliflower and rice pilaf, but maybe I'll just throw some BBQ sauce on it, instead, and have it with some sweet corn and a baked potato.

I did finally get the feeling back in my right foot, late this afternoon, not sure what that was all about.

my computer seems to be back to normal, no clue what was happening there. Now that I have a bottom toolbar back, I'm doing a scan to see if there's a detectable virus on there.

Our internet server was down all day at work-tho' fortunately, we were able to access our internal server, that handles the sales programmes, so we could do our jobs.

Just how many homophobic American fans, does David Tennant have???

That's the number one search criteria for DT, showing up on my Roasting David blog, these days..at least from Americans. Oh, sometimes I get that inquiry from the UK, Ireland, Spain, and a few other nations...but America has them all beat. Take tonight, for instance....the last four people to visit Roasting DT, all Googled, "David Tenant gay."

I mean, for cripe's sake, who the hell cares???? What business of theirs is it what the lad's sexual preference is? And, if he is gay, why the hell is he always seen dating women? I mean, he may date men, too, on the side, for all I know, but....come on! Really, why in the billy blue blazes does it possibly matter on the face of the earth, if Tennant is gay or not? What's that got to do with anything?

Intellectually challenged Americans--from the Texas to Georgia, from Vermont, to Michigan to Nebraska, all have nothing better to do on a Saturday night, apparently, than sit in front of their computer screens, Googleing, "David Tennant gay?"

How scary is that? Very. Probably a bunch of republican neo-conservative, homophobic, fundamentalist Christ-bangers.

I'm telling you, it's mad--all these Americans, goggleing to see if David Tennant is gay or not! Cripes! How infantile and homophobic is my nation? Very, apparently! Seriously, how the hell does this effect whether the man can act or not? How does this change who he is as a person? Why are Americans so hung up with gay people?

Well, because they are deliberately intellectually lazy, and in a self-induced coma, half the time...trust me; I just came from shopping at a crowded Walmat's, I should know!

Anyway, I was just on Roasting David Tennant, and my tool bar at the top of my page, started acting all funky!

My tool bar, of its own accord, kept changing back and forth--from a proper tool bar, to a search bar...I don't like that! Jeez, it's hard enough for a techno-backwards person like me, to navigate the computer, with the damn thing doing nonsense I didn't ask it to do!

Damn computer's alive! I knew it! (Paranoid laugh--mraw-ha-ha-ha-ha!)

Hello all,

Just as I predicted last night, all the activity today, combined with less than four hours sleep yesterday, has indeed taken its toll on me. Also, I find I'm a bit unwell this morning, as my balance is rather off, I have a raging headache, no appetite, and, for some mysterious reason, I can't feel any of the toes in my right foot...but hey, other than that, I'm ripping to go, today. (Not.)

Basically, I feel like I have a hangover...which I don't, of course. The strongest drink I had yesterday, was the diet Coke at BK. And, I couldn't drink even if I was inclined that way, 'cos it could basically kill me, if combined with the medicine I'm on.

Well, a day of telemarketing hell awaits me...being abused by obnoxiously ill-mannered American men and women, from coast-to-coast and sea-to-shining-sea, and all that palaver. There's usually certain states i especialy hate calling, 'cos their people (including children) seem to be much more surly and poorly educated and badly mannered, than anyone else: Kentucky, Kansas, Oklahoma, Utah, Arizona, Minnesota. (coincidentally, all of these happen to be mainly conservative/republican states...maybe not so much a coincidence?)

And, people are so pissed off at everyone and anyone, that it's not surprising to hear that another gun john has gone round the twist, and murdered three adults and a 3 year old child.

I call these gun loving American bastards "gun johns," cos' they love their guns so much, they probably rather sleep with them, then their own wives.

Speaking of gun johns, a troll blogger in New Jersey was arrested by police, recently.

A judge in New Jersey has denied bail to this gun john. The blogger was arrested after going on his blog, and not only threatening three judges that were for stiffening the gun laws...this nutjob even published on his blog, their street addresses and work places...he was doing his utmost to extort everyone to go out and murder them.

As an aside, why doesn't the govt go after others, like him? He's not unlike some of the anti-abortion and/or homophobic right-wing "christian" Christ-bangers...unfortunately, there's no gay pro-abortion judges, apparently, so the govt. doesn't go after the Christ-bangers..until it's too late and they too, murder someone.

But, I think that's speaks louder than any words that I can write, how rotten to the core the conservative party supporters have become. You don't want the government to take away your guns, so you threaten to shoot them? Does that not speak volumes about the sheer stupidity and mad dog meanness of these gun slobs, or not? I read where the cowardly prat from Jersey, may be charged with plotting domestic terrorism.

Cripes! These are the same gun johns who write on the online forums that they want to kill all the muslims because they say they're "all" terrorists..so then, continuing that same train of "thought"--well, it's not acutal thinking, but you know what I mean...anyway, since the gun johns also are now promoting domestic terrorism, and say they want to kill all the American politicians--including President Obama, American judges and American liberals like me; basically, anyone who is for gun control...shouldn't the govt. then turn around and start bombing and sending their troops after all American gun owners?

Terroism is terrorism, whether someone is wearing robes and sandals, or real-tree camoflage and hunting boots. If we took the gun lobby seriously, and "killed" everyone who hated and threatened to kill Americans, we'd have to start weeding out the gun johns, alongside memebers of the Taliban, yeah?

I mean, come on! Fair is fair, boys, tit for tat. Turn and turn about again, yeah?

Well, I have to go to work. I read in the paper today, that there's something like 300 foreign students stranded over here, looking for work--they were scammed into coming here by some jerk from Khazikstan or wherever, with the promise of jobs, and there are of course, no jobs....and, quite a few area employers are all saying that there's so many local people out of work, that they are giving them preference over foreign students with temporary visas. But, there's a lot less tourism-related jobs available this year, than ever before in my memory, so those kids have got a tough row to hoe, I reckon.

I've had no luck finding a different job, and it looks rather bleak, to me. No one's returned my phone calls or e-mails, and I've heard nothing about any of the applications i've turned in--and the employers I have spoken to, seem very bored and disinterested in me. I can't tell you how depressing that is, to me. It's sucks when no one genuinely wants you. It just...sucks.

Anyway, I'm off. I won't be back online til' very late. I may not go out today after work. It's overcast and cool....like the cool, but also, I'm so knackered, that I feel like I'd fall over if you touched me with a feather...and the idea of going in and sitting there, being verbally abused by American men and women all day today, isn't exactly stimulating me.

Ah well, nothing for it. Cheers, all.

I'm going to bed early. I'm wicked tired, I am. I did more pedaling today, than...well, in ages and ages...overdid it a bit, methinks. The relative freedom was a joy, though, you have no idea!

It's been so hard, since my accident wih my foot, 2 years ago, to adjust to not being able to walk properly (fast and painless). It takes FOREVER to get anywhere, and there's absolutely no joy in it any longer, either. What used to be a pleasant thing (walking), is now quite literally a dreaded chore.

However, the bike has helped tremendously. Oh, it still hurts a bit, but I can go so much faster, so much farther now. It took me about 15 minutes to ride my bike from the office building to the only supermarket within the city limits, on the east side of town...a trip, walking, that used to take me double the time...or more. 15 more minutes, and I was in the city centre...from there, it took about 10 min. to ride home again. Lovely!

Mind you, I did give a bit of a groan after work tonight, climbing back into the saddle, so to speak. Think I'll hit the craft supply shop in Queensbury, to see if they have any fake sheepskin or some foam padding or something of that sort...a little duct tape and--viola! Instant comfy bottom. God, what'd they pad that seat with, cast iron?

Still, not too bad considering I didn't sleep a wink all night--it was just cracking dawn when I went to bed, and I woke up again at half-past nine. All in all, considering I've had all of maybe at most, four hours sleep, don't think I did too bad, today. Tomorrow, however---not going to be so good, I fear.

However, I almost got nailed at a zebra crossing--a POSTED zebra crossing--with a big sign stuck in the middle, "Yield to pedestrians." OK, I was on a bike, but still...come on! These STUPID fellow Americans of mine, genuinely think that, because I'm in the flippin' middle of a crosswalk on a bicycle, doesn't mean they have to stop for me? It's not like the crosswalk is hard to see, either. It's on a flippin' straightaway--200 pound woman on a bicyle jackarse, hello, how can you not see me???

Everyone was driving like they had their heads stuck up their bottoms, today. What the heck is with that? The weather? Or, just your typical Americans in their self-inflicted comas?

Jeez....I was famished when I got home--all I've had to eat today, was a Whopper Jr. (hold the tomato and pickles), so I wolfed down a tuna and mayonnaise sandwich and a wee bag of crisps, and...here I am, ready for bed. Zzzzz--

Gosh, there's a ton of accidents lately! Yesterday a fender-bender just on the corner here where I'm at..today, going to pick up my cheque, a car hit a taxi cab and injured a passenger....pedaling back to the city centre from the supermarket, I noted that there was a Dominoes delivery car with the front end all crumbled in, being winched up on to the back of a flat bed tow truck, one very unhappy lady delivery driver, standing on the kerb with the firemen, with a pizza bag and her change pouch. Somebody's going to be screaming about not getting their pizza in 30 min. or less!

Well...the rain stopped, but then the steam bath got turned on...it's basically a lot like a tropical rain forest out there...whew!

For the first time since the early 2000's, I did my chores on my bicycle...it was lovely saving the cab fare--reckon I saved about 6 to 12 dollars easy, today, just by riding my bike....but gosh...I'm soaking wet!!! No lie, my clothes were so damp when I got home, that I had a hard time getting them off, and my hair was positively dripping with sweat--looked like I'd just doused myself under a hose...reckon I must smell rather mangy an the moment, despite my liberal use of deodorant this morning, so it's back to the shower for me, in a bit.

I'd ordered a saddle slicker from Chick's saddle shop a month ago, and was wondering what was taking so long. The had a lime green or yellow slicker on sale for 19.95, and I really like them--they go from neck to ground, with a slit up the back for riding horses--or in my case, walking/cycling. I chose the lime green one (sort of florrie coloured, so cars can see me coming). Anyway, got a refund cheque in the post today, and they were sold out. So, I cashed the refund cheque, and went to Family Dollar and got a rain parka in a tote bag (which I promptly fastened to the outside of my new backpack (thank you, you know who) to keep it handy)...it wasn't what I wanted, but it was only 3.50, and it's better than nothing.

I would have waited 'till it was back in stock, but maybe they're not planning on getting any more in. They used to give you a credit instead of a refund, not sure why Chick's didn't do that, this time, but I'm glad at least they gave me my money back--I used it for other things I needed, anyway.

I pedaled all over the city! I went east to the supermarket and Family dollar, I went west back downtown to the city centre to grab a cheap lunch at BK (thank heavens for the dollar menu), then, I checked out the new consignment shop downtown...very cool! They're not as organized as the Bargain Box, and they have a lot less stuff in my size, but they have the most wonderful vintage clothing and selection of funky jewelry, that I'd seen in a while. Since I still had some funds left, I bought two pair of like-new ladies Venezia cargo shorts, one khaki and one brown, and a nice designer red/black scarf to go with my red suade/knit ladies western jacket--a perfect match! And, I spent less than 20.00!

I bought a cheap pair of Levi's ladies capris on sale a few weeks back, but, other than an old pair of khaki capris that I'd had for about 7 or 8 years, that's my only summer wear from the waist down (not counting my ye old bathing suit, that I got at a yard (boot) sale six summers ago)...so for 5.00 each, I could hardly pass up two pairs of shorts that were like brand new, and fit me, and looked halfway decent on me, as well.

I saw several pieces of jewelery that I wouldn't have minded owning, and a beaded black evening jacket that was out of this world...but, that's just window shopping. I don't buy what I don't really need--well, except for the scarf, that was only $1.

I saw a funky beaded necklace--ivory coloured beads, with elephants...one small elephant on the bottom , and two tiny one's strung in-between the beads on either side. It was sort of like an elehpant rosary, ha-ha. But, it was just cheap plastic, and they wanted $12 for it, and no way did I need or want the thing that bad, to pay that for it.

So, here I am. It looks very oppresive out there--ominous, even. I may be wrong, but i think it's building for a bad storm. There's scattered storms all over NY state, and neighbouring Vermont and Massachusetts, too. Most of the storm warnings are down outside of Long Island and New York City, or way up north in northern Vermont, near the Quebec border. Where I'm at seems to be caught in a barren spot between the two, a trough of calm weather...but the sky...it's not looking good...it doesn't feel good. We don't get tornadoes right where I live...that is, there's never been one in recorded history, but...that's what the air and sky feel like...very oppressive. Almost enough to give you the willies.

There's tornado warnings out in Connecticut. I hope it all goes round us, tonight...but at least I have some proper rain gear, now. Though there's no way I'm wearing my ugly black barn wellies to the office, ha-ha.

I have to leave for work in a bit--working till' 10pm, and am quite knackered, so I think I'll go lay down for a bit, rest and do a spot of reading. All the major bills are paid for the month--which is good, cos' the end of the month is on Tuesday, ha-ha.

If my post seems in any way incoherant and/or grammatically incorrect...sod it! I'm so knackered, my brain is postitively addled!

cheers.

I have a slight inkling--tho' nothing's confirmed, that I may be asked to spend an overnight on the farm, this weekend. My friend's cow, Pronto, is expecting...and quite close to being due. See...every time I visit, then go home...a preggy cow drops her calf the very next day.

Seriously! I love the calves though...they like to suck on my fingers...once you get past the slime, it's really rather cool. Oh, trust me, you have to be there.

The other odd thing, is that every single time I've broght a camera to the farm to have my pic taken with the cows or milking or whatever...the film never comes out! It will come out before my trip to the farm, but the minute I hit the farm...the film dies. What's with that???

I figure it's alien cows....well, the moon is supposed to be made of cheese, ya'know!

Looks like it's clearing out there, so maybe if I'm not going to the farm, I'll be able to go to Lake George, afterall?

So, this weekend, I'll either be checking out this:

Or, taking the summer trolley bus and hanging out here:

Ah, it's a soft day, here--darkly overcast and teaming down rain...and, no complaints from me! It was bakingly hot yesterday...and being a native of Northeastern New York--where the first snowfall starts in October and lasts until April or early May.

Killer cold (literally) is something this northeastern woman has learned to take for granted; ("Cold? I laugh at the cold, ha-ha!"--said after rudely cursing the -40 C/F windchill factor, which is turning her nose into an icicle holder).

I hope it will be OK by tomrorrow afternoon. I was going to the beach after work..but may just settle for a walk around Lake George village, gawking at the tourons (tourist morons) and getting an ice cream cone from the Pink Roof ice cream stand.

I stabbed my left index finger with a bread knife last night, and it appears to be getting infected already...no, dunce didn't wash it, just sopped up the bit of blood with a paper towel..now I've got to put some stuff on it and a Band Aid (sticking plaster), I suppose. Heck, you'd think with all the antibiotics and vitamins and all that palaver, I've had pumped into me of late--between the pills and the IV's at hospital and whatnot, that I'd not get ANY infections! Shows how bad my immune has gotten, I reckon. Wasn't even that deep a wound!

So, I've the dreaded Friday chores to see to....cash my paycheck--dreading to see how reduced it's going to be, with 30% taken out of it, by my two student lenders, that's enough to make my stomach a bit queasy. Don't get distressed by this, but seriously? I don't particularly want to grow old...the idea of spending my old age alone--and I have no doubts about that--and, very obviously, spending the rest of my life in poverty? Well, that really doesn't particularly appeal to me.

I know I owe the money, it's not that...it's the total callousness and deliberate ignorance of my own government--of my own fellow countryment, to the hardships that people are going through--and the wonton rejection of common sense solutions---well, maybe all governments have become that stupid and cold-hearted.

I'm so disgusted with my country, sometimes; the massive hypocracy, greed, selfishness and pettiness that has come to represent my nation--to me, anyway, honestly sickens my stomach.

Poverty makes you not only a slave, but, reduces your value as a human being, as well. You think less of yourself, because the world thinks less of you--you can't dress like them, you can't live like them...well, it's an ugly, ugly world out there, sometimes.

The more poor you get, the more invisible you become...that's a fact. That's reality...at least, here in America. And, the reason I fear homelessness so badly, is that while poverty makes you invisible to your fellow human beings....homelessness makes you cease to be human at all, in the eyes of most people. Don't even think of telling me otherwise, I'll look you in the eye and call you an igornant fool.

Sorry, yeah--I'm a wee bitter today, and feeling a tad sorry for myself. Meh--maybe it's the weather?

Well, it appears as if Feedjit's been put out of commission. Anyone know of a good site tracker besides Feedjit?

Feedjit's been pushing for their new "pro" feed, maybe they've decided to eliminate the free feed, I don't know, but it's no good to me if it's gone. Can't even get into their website via Google, so I guess they are just toast.

What's going on with the Feedjit widget tonight? It keeps doing a disappearing act on all of my blogs--not just bcuk, but other blog sites, too.

One minute it's there, then next, --poof!-- it's gone. And, even when it does bother to grace my blogs with its presence, it won't load, if I click "watch live."

Well, if they wanted people to "go pro" with Feedjit, this is a piss-poor way to encourage users to part with their hard-earned cash!

I was rumaging around in a drawer looking for my scissors, when I happened upon something, shoved way in the back in there, that I'd long forgotten I'd had: My kazoo!

Attempting a tune to amuse Flamey, who was stretched out in a furry ginger pose of feline comfort, on my dresser. All I got for my efforts was a puzzled looking cat, and a sound more or less like the annoying whine of might have passed for a pony-sized mosquito.

Even on a kazoo, I lack musical talent...well, unless you happen to be a giant mosquito, I suppose.

So, if any theater people out there in my part of the world, ever need a mosquito sound effect, I'm yer gal!

(I've the red one)

I'm off for work in a few minutes...providing I can find a seat...that's another thing that makes my employer's so chavy...they schedule people to come in at 5pm, and yet make no provisions for their incoming employees to have a seat waiting for them! I mean, if getting sales is so damn vital to managment...wouldn't you think their first priority would be to make sure no one is wasting precious time looking around for a seat? And, it's really off-putting that new employees get the choice seats over long-time one's...my employers have absolutely no class--and no people skills, whatsoever.

Arrgh, a "pack" of motorcyclists went by...on choppers...loud smelly things! Exhausst fumes wafting through my windows on the breeze, lovely. It wouldn't be so bad if the berks wouldn't sit in traffic, revving their engines unneccarily..what the hell? I figure it's the increase in noise making up for the lack of size...erm--if you know what I mean.

Flame is hot. I came into the bedroom, to find her all laid out, flopped down on my dresser, with a look that could only say, "It's soooo-hot, mum, I'm boiling." Flame is tetchy. She hates being cold, and she's equally unhappy with heat...I keep thinking I should have named my wee ginger cat, "Goldilocks."

Well, off again into the breech, for four hours of telemarketing hell, with nasty, ill-mannered, mean ridiculously moronic Americans....and those are just the little old ladies!

Gaelic storm was formed in Santa Monica, California, in the mid-90's, but it's members come from all over; from Canada to England. Their first album, Bring Yer Wellies debuted on Billboard's world chart at #2, and their most recent release last year, debuted at #1. They were the steerage band in the film Titanic.

I like this song, unfortunately, the only video clips avaiable are of live concerts--complete with drunken obnoxious sing-a-longs...but, if you're up to it?

A hot, sticky and overcast day, over here in northeastern New York state. But, there's a bit of a cool breeze now and then, to offset the unpleasant humidity...unfortunately, it's a bit intermittent.

I've done with Horiatio Hornblowers book, and now I've to decide on one of three books, for my next reading pleasure: Clouds in the West, a western by Elmer Kelton, or Dark Horse, a crime fiction novel by Tami Hoag, or a play called "Indians," by Arthur Kopit. Decisions, decisions...

Despite the landlord's insistance that no new pets be allowed in our building, the new neighbours downstairs (the young couple whom were groping each other on the pavement in front of the kiddies, while the Memorial Day parade was going by, last month--apparently his live-in girlfriend is out of jail)...well, they have a big dog--which is usually very quiet, and now as I can hear, they've added a pair of little yappy dogs, to the mix, barking under my balcony window as I write this. Lovely. Looks like mini pinchers.

Well, absentee slumlords landlords can expect this sort of thing. Our building manager is an idiot, anyway. I moved in with three cats, 8 months before their employer bought this building...and only recently she shockingly asked, "You've got three cats???" DOH-the woman's only been inside my apartment 4 or 5 times, jeez...idiot.

She's the bobbed hair, hoity accent, nouveau riche, can't be bothered to get off her well-fed psuedo-posh lazy yuppie arse to actually MANAGE the building like she's paid to do, cos' hell, she's a busy "professional" woman...oh, and didn't you notice how very posh she was?

Sorry. I grew up around both types--old rich and new rich, literally, since my early teens, we had both types in the posh neighbourhood behind our street--my best friend's dad was CEO of the local steel mill...old money, nice people...as were most of the old money in our neighbourhood--could be prats sometimes, but they (almost) always treated me with courtesty --and me a kid! Well, I can't say as much for the "new" people that came in ...and the difference between the two was like day and night, to me....the nouveau riche were obnoxious boors, paranoid and lying and shallow. Now, old rich can be arseholes too--but they're also genuine, whether they are nice people or twats.

The thing is, that almost ALL new rich are arseholes--and massive fakes, and therein lies the gaping black hole of difference, between the two. It's like comparing a Vermeer painting, with a painting of Elvis on black velvet. I say this from over 30 years up close and personal experience, and not from any predjudice.

My new blood sugar testing monitor arrived by post this morning--free! Well, free until I need new testing supplies, I suppose. Not sure what the new supplies will run me. I've never used this brand of monitor before. We'll see. My sugar's been up again, of late...but, that could be the donuts... I'm a baaaad girl.

I'm having issues with the internet today, so I had to rewrite and repost part of this post, 'cos I got kicked off the internet and, naturally, sod's law, only part of my post was saved.

Have a good day, all.

Where I live, there's a busy intersection about four streets away. The tailback from the traffic light often threads back to my section of the street.

This morning, I was sitting here, fuming at the UPS guy (long story), when I heard this tremedous crash....some kid in a souped up Japanese car, smashed into the back of a Ford Explorer....that was stopping for a tailback.

OK....there's a line of cars. There's a line of cars moving very slowly--like maybe 5mph, how the hell did that gangsta dressed kid with the boom box blaring out of his car, manage to hit a honking big Ford SUV????

He was probably playing with the radio, or his mobile...or...something.

There's not much damage to the Explorer, but the little silver car is a mess--the kid couldn't get is driver door open, the radiator is steaming and he had to turn off his car, 'cos it was making a nasty noise...oh, maybe that was the stinking boom box radio.

It's been about 15 min. now, and still no sign of a cop--well, there wouldn't be, if it wasn't involving drunks or drugs...that's the only thing are local dufuses that call themselves (laughably) police officers are good at...finding drunks and drug users...everyone else has to wait. ...and wait...it's been 17 min. now, and a motorcycle cop just showed up. Wow. Big response there!

Glad no one was hurt and there's no fire...this is one rotten city to live in, sometimes.

This tidbit appeared in our local paper, today:

State Police say two area women went on a shoplifting spree Saturday at the Wilton Mall outside of Saratoga Springs, and they took their children along for the ride.

Police say the defendants were found with the stolen merchandise in the parking lot, and that the goods were returned.

I can just picture that little conversation: "Oooh, Ashly, where should we take the kids today? I know! Let's all go shoplifting at the mall, and then after, you and I can treat ourselves to an Orange Julius at the food court, while the kids ride the indoor carousel!"

In other news--the God-fearing republican party, had damn well better fear God--two of them just seriously broke one of the Ten Commandments....that little thing about adultry.

Well, two staunch republicans--one a potential presidential candidates (well, he's certainly got the credentials, now), have been caught out coveting thy neighbour's arse...and the waitress at Dunkin' Donuts, and heaven knows how many other ladies' arses.

One, a senator from Nevada, confessed to cheating on his wife. This would be the same senator who--ironically and hypocritically-- used to be a big muckety-muck in Promise Keepers---a Christian group dedicated to men being faithful to their wives.

The second, was a southern governor who disappeared for a week without telling anyone where he was going--this, the potential presidental candidate to run against Obama next election--he ran off to Argentina of all places, to get his piece of arse to covet....for a whole week, without telling anyone where he was. Man, why didn't he just get a hooker, like our former governor, did?

Yep, the republicans for decades have been beating the "American family values" drum--what American values? Looks like a fire sale, to me...with Satan running the till!

Four hours of telemarketing hell, wasn't bad enough tonight, oh, no. I had to sit next to the smarmy new guy--the tanned fit middle aged guy, with the greasy hair, wearing his sunglasses on his head in the office. If I wasn't agnostic, I'd say: God. Help. Me.

He kept trying to get my (and the other girl's) attention all night. He was sitting next to me, and chatting up the place. At first I just thought he was nervous, then I realized he was flirtting--with everyone who qualifies to use the ladies loo. Jeez.

At one point I got up from my seat, to go see the supervisor, and smarmy guy--second night on the job, mind you--goes, "Excuse me, dear? Are you going to get coffee?"

Excuse me, sunshine! Do I effing look like a four-legged animal with antlers, or your personal secretary?

Sheesh. I spent most of the night trying to ignore the bloke, without coming off as seeming downright churlish.

People on the phones were arseholes and then some. Ill-mannered poorly educated prigs.

Oh, and Betty F__r in Republic, Kanas? You SUCK! You'll never have to worry about anyone thinking of you as a lady, that's for certain.

I had one woman (again, not a lady) get all infantile with me, mocking my genuine politeless
with sarcastic politeness...mangy bitch needs some effing Prozac.

And then there was the woman in Tennessee, who said, without even asking who I was, "We don't want none." Yeah? And you are an uneducated redneck bimbo, with no grasp of your own language.

A "man" answered every question with an baby-like "no"--even when I said "have a good night" the arsehole said, "no!" Jeez...Are there ANY American men left in this country, who still have a backbone and some manly pride, who haven't regressed into spoiled little infants?

Have I mentioned that, not only do I hate my job, but that I'm really, really starting to seriously dislike my fellow Americans, as well?

Get me Out of Here!

I like this land, I like this place,
The song of freedom I will forever embrace.
Yet, the tune to which the people dance,
Has gone flat and foul and lost its romance.
The people won't sing a respectful tune,
Now, they screech and howl like crazy loons,
Berating and un-thinking, ill-mannered and mean,
Hating, and fearing and, it seems;
Turning on each other, hurting without fail,
Like the proverbial snake, eating it’s tail.

Even as I'm writing this, the wrap party for the film production of Hamlet, is about to get under way.

So, British Shakepeare fans who missed David Tenannt's Hamlet, will get a glimpse of a slightly paired down version, come the end of the year...American and Japanese fans will have to wait till' 2010, alas..and everyone else will have to buy the DVD, I suppose.

Not online much, today...too hot!!! It went from cool and comfortable, to hot and humid, pretty much overnight.

Good thing I got my bathing suit out of storage and washed it...think I might go to the lake this weekend for a swim, if it's still hot. The red trolley buses to the lake start this weekend, so I can get out of work, hop a trolley and be at the beach in 20 minutes or so, depending on weekend traffic....if I'm so inclined...I may just go for an ice cream and a game of crazy golf, across from the steamboat pier, if I'm not so inclined for a swim. Be good to get out for a bit, it's been about a month since I've gotten more than a mile or so, out of the city.

So, sitting here sweating and hankering for a cold drink. I have to go finish tidying up a bit, before it gets much hotter.

We had a forceful lecture last night. A bit off-putting for the older reps, and it was mostly directed at the new people. Apparently, we aren't making very good headway with sales--and rather than blaming on the recession, naturally it's all OUR fault...so, they have these rules where you HAVE to, (by federal law) give out the phone number with every completed call--fine, we all do that, as far as I know...

....but now--and this is brand new--the company we're selling for says they want us to capture an e-mail address of the customers.

Well, fine...but the arseholes at work, are not happy that sometimes this is being missed (I mean, they only just started it a couple of weeks ago--they really haven't given people much chance to get used to it)...

...anyway, the arseholes at work, are actually sending people HOME, if they catch them not capturing e-mail addresses properly (mind you, this isn't a federal law or anything)--and, the employee HAS to make up the time they've missed!

Know what I say to that? Well, I can't repeat it in polite company.

I think our big client is hurting for money, and is threatening the top brass, and top brass, is coming down hard on the management in our office, and management is yelling at the supervisors, and the supervisors are freaking out and panicking, and taking it out on us....more negative reinforcement! Briliant!!!

I just found out that the next Children In Need special will feature ALL 11 DOCTORS!!

How cool is that??? I'll tell you how cool that is---if someone had just rung me up, and said I'd won a horse, if they said the BBC wanted me to write a Dr Who episode, if they said they were going to pay all expenses for me and my cats/stuff to move to Europe--I could not be more chuffed! Seriously, I mean that! It's a Whovan's dream come true--whoo-hoo!!!!

That's really groovy, in a very far-out and happenin' kind of way.

For the special, the three deceased Doctors will appear as video clips, and the other Doctors...including the elusive Tom Baker one might hope, will appear with David Tennant--and, Doctor-in-waiting, Matt Smith (in his first appearence in the role), all to benefit the very worthy cause of Children In Need.

Hats off to Russell T. Davies, Steven Moffatt, all the world's best actor's who've played the Doctor over the last 4 decades, and every one else involved---huzzah!

(And, many thanks for my blog pal Animalskin, for bringing this to my attention--you're a peach! )

I don't know a thing about this band...other than I think they're Scottish? I only found some of their tunes while doing a random search for music on a website about a month ago....I kind of like their sound.

Well, since I'm now going to be having my former student lenders, in both New York and Vermont, taking a full 30 percent out of my weekly wages, for the rest of my blooomin' life (may it be a short one)....I figure I've got double the incentive to look for new work--I mean, if I'm flippin' going to work for practicly nothing, I might as well try to find something I at least marginally enjoy, or makes me feel useful...or even better, where I don't have daily contact with obnoxiously mean, brainless, rude Americans, then i might as well.

I'd quit and just live off the damn benefits, but one: I like working (I just hate my present chavvy, slovenly and grossly disorganized employers), or at the very least, feel like I'm actually doing something with my life.

Unfortunately, I don't see anything changing...especially being without a car, in a nation that hasn't embraced public transport in decades, and being without more than a 2 year degree, and very little computer savvy, beyond basic MS Word and Powerpoint.

I can't live on my benefits cheque alone...it would pay the rent, but it wouldn't pay the electric/gas bill, and the extras beyond food--such as shampoo, cat food, household cleansers, laundromat, etc. And no, if I wasn't working, I wouldn't get more in benefits--it doesn't work that way. I get the same, regardless of whether I work or not--as long as I work under the alloted hours.

Well, for some of us, life sucks and then you die.

Stubled across this, rumaging around the internet, this morning:

THE AVERAGE AMERICAN....

Eats peanut butter at least once a week
Has fired a gun at least once
Owns or has owned at least one gun
Can name all three of The Three Stooges
Lives within 20 minutes of a Walmart
Never sings in the shower
Weighs between 135 and 205 pounds
Lives in a house, rather than a flat, trailer apartment or condominium
Is between the ages of 18 and 53
Eats at a McDonalds at least once every six months
Believes gambling is an acceptible form of entertainment
Grew up within 50 miles of the home they live in as an adult
Takes roughly 10 minutes in the shower each day
Is between 5 and 6 feet tall
Has a home valued between 100,000 and 300,000 dollars
Makes an average of 32,000 dollars a year
Exercise 20 minutes a day
Own a bible
Prays
Believes in God
Do not know any of the Gospels
Do not floss their teeth
Reads a lot if they are over 65
Doesn't read virturally at all if they are under age 20
Consumes 20 teaspoons of sugar..a day
Drives a car to work
Owns a car 8 years or older
Spends more of their food dollars in restaurants than supermarkets
Prefers figure skating to NASCAR
Live in the state where they were born
Wants to earn 20 times more than they presently earn
Spends 95% of their day indoors
Spends at least 2 1/2 hours online
Prefer white poultry meat to dark
Prefer beef to fish, chicken or pork
Has more television sets in the home, than people
Spends the same amount of time watching television, as Americans did, 40 years ago
Watches the news while cooking dinner
Multitasks 40 hours more per week than they did in the mid-70's
Spend 26% less time socializing than they did in the mid-70's
Drinks beer
Has had unmarried or adulterous sex at least once in their life
has tried marijuana

On the other hand:

5 to 15 percent of Americans:

think Joan of Arc is Noah's wife
shoot animals
Think it's ok to shoot people
want the US to go to war with "everyone"
think immigrants should be banned from the USA
don't know why the pilgrams came to America
Think the British declared war on America
Don't know most of the US president
Don't know the name of the war that sparked the massacure at the Alamo
Don't know there was an American war between the Civil War and WWI
Never heard of the Premable to the US constitution
Don't know there's three main branches of the US govt.
think there's 51 states
Can't name the vice-president
can't name the secretary of state
Doesn't know where the U.N. is located
Can't tell you who is buried in Grant's Tomb
Doesn't know the official religion of the Israellis
Thinks Mexico is in South America
Can't point to the Middle East on a map
Can't find most European countries on a map
Think their National Anthem is "God Bless America"
Think we won the Vietnam War
Don't know any other world leaders other than the US president
Don't know how many sides are in a triangle
Don't know any other world currencies other than the US dollar
Think Egypt on the Middle Eastern continent
Think we should invade Saudi Arabia or "anybody" in the Middle East
Don't know that we've alreday been to war with North Korea once already
Have never heard of Sri Lanka
Think New Zealand is part of Australia

1. Did you brush your teeth yet, today?

No, I usually wait until after breakfast.

2. Can you make up a joke right now? If you can, tell us!

This was the only thing I could think of, right off the top of my head: "I was pleased to see that my mother finally got out today...she's been in prison for two years."

Sorry, that's rotten. Well...now you know why I don't write sit-coms for a living.

3. Last furry thing you petted?

David Tennant's back hair. No, wait, that was just a dream--erm .... No, really, it was my big ol' cat Charlie, snuggled up to me, this morning.

4. Most recent book you read?

I just finished both The Alibi Man by Tami Hoag and Shakespeare Alive! yesterday, and I've just started on "Admiral Hornblower" this morning.

5. What are you wearing right now?

Black ladies' jeans by Jeanstar, and a olive green comic-style novelty tee, that says "Jean Paul Sarte's Answering Machine: ....I'm not here....you're not here....don't leave a message...there is no beep."

It's a perfect 10 of a day, over here in the southern Adirondacks. I thought I'd do some chores today, out and about. It was rubbish yesterday...windy and darkly overcast all day--tho' surprisingly, it never once rained.

It's also supposed to be finally warm, this week. It's been in the 50's to 70's F, for the past few weeks...tho' I do think the overnight frost has finally come to an end...until Sept., at least...but, you never know. Northeastern US weather, I was told by a science major once, has some of the most unpredictable weather, this side of the Rocky Mountains of the western states.

It's windy today, but hardly a cloud in the sky, and virtually no humidity--the air is almost crystal clear...gosh, it'd be the perfect day for a picnic, horseback ride, a sail on the lake or whatever...unfortunately, it's a weekday, alas...and without a car or funds, I couldn't do any of the above, anyway.

I've not decided whether to cab it to my chores today, or to take my bike. Gosh, I'm sore. I've not been on a bike since the early 2000's, and have been very inactive in the last 2 years, since my accident with my foot...I'm really feeling it! Especially in my bum! The seat of my bike isn't exactly cushiony soft, and I'm afraid I'm a bit erm--saddle sore. But, it's fine. No complaints from me.

The bike changes gears (on its own) frequently, when I'm pedaling it, and I've found that (almost the hard way) that, once they get wet, the rear brakes absolutely do not work...but, my foot feels a lot better these days, from me not having to walk on it so much.

I'm still a bit wobbly on a bike--and I deliberately pedal slow, for worry that a bit of the old bike might come loose and cause me to have a bad spill (such as happened in '77, when the hand brake of the ten-speed I was riding, came loose and caught in the spokes, stopping the bike abruptly--the resulting laws of physics then flipping me through the air, sending me across the road a good 10 or 15 feet--whereupon I landed on my face alongside the pavement).

Well, worries about accidents aside, I do get places a lot faster than I used to--however, last night, I found that I get nowhere with a heavy bundle in my hand. I had to pedal down to the little shop down the way, for a quart of milk...and carrying it home in my shopping bag, I almost became unbalanced, and ended up walking my bike home. Will have to get a little backpack, I suppose...or a basket for the front of my bike; reckon that will solve the problem.

I had my breakfast--sort of...well, it was left over Bistro beef stew (beef, baby carrots, gold potatoes, sweet Vidalia onions, in a Bistro gravy seasoned with black pepper, a tiny bit of garlic, a bay leaf and a generous splash of Worcestershire), nom-nom! I had a small bowl, with some buttered whole wheat bread, at 10am this morning. I like to think of it as a redneck brunch.

Hope you are having a good day, cheers all!

Sometimes, I feel like a leaf.

There I was sat, attached to a sturdy tree, secure in my moorings in life. Through sunshine and storm, I remained, sometimes steady, sometimes trembling with the fear of falling.

And then, not one, but many storms came. Fierce storms, raging with ice and flashes of fire and flaying winds....and finally, the tree was laid low, and died. I fell.

Fluttering down, spiraling out of control, trembling in the storm-tossed tempest, I plunged to the mucky black soil below me.

There, I was trambled on, blown about the four directions, until I was swept up by one bitter wind too many, and landed on the stream of life, carried away on it's turbulent and unpredictable waters, until I cared not, what became of me.

I am just a single leaf, floating on the stream of time, and change, with no sense of where I am going, and no will any longer, to change it if I could.

Got to bed at half-past 4 in the morning. Got woken up at half-past eight, by five fire trucks going screaming by on the street below.

I want to thank the two of you who commented on my previous blog post (now deleted)...I am afraid I get panic attacks and severe depression, when I have one of my little memory "holes." And even when the difficulty is minor, I just know that my brain isn't fuctioning as it should--like loss of concentration, or temporary confusion, it distresses me to no end.

Normally, I don't blog about it--to anyone but myself. And, I really don't want to blog about it. I did talk medical people--but I am at the bottom of America's cultural totem pole...the medical profession in the USA is ALL about money. Humanity and being humane, don't factor into it, I fear. Yes, I've mentioned it, and go nowhere--all my health care providers give a shite about, is my blood presure, diabetes and my heart...everything else is brushed aside and forgotten--what can I say?

The only health care centre I can afford to go to, totally sucks. They just suck, OK? Outside of the ER, they are my only option. I have no choice, they are "it," and "they" are overwhelmed and understaffed and don't have a good record, locally, for competence.

And, forget about us yanks ever getting an NHS system like the rest of the civilized and much more humane, western world--- Obama's severely weakened and pandering health care "plan", won't do a damn thing to help someone like me.

What I need, is to go to Canada or some other more humane, less greed-driven nation, become a citizen, and get some decent health care, ha-ha.

America a "Christian" nation? Yeah? Since when?

Tell me conservaitve American Christians, since when did Christ promote money over people? I must have missed that part in the New Testament: "And I say unto you, forget the suffering and the helpless and the weak, go out unto the United States and make lots of money, buy more guns and hate anyone who is different, or doesn't agree you...this is the will of God."

Now you know why I chose to be an agnostic American--if American "Christians" were true to their faith, they'd be just as concerned for the sick and suffering of their own communities, as they are for the sick and suffering in South America and Africa....but they aren't. They just...arent. They don't know, they don't care, they don't want to know or care...until it happens to them, that is.

Sorry, as some of you know, the ugly, grossly imbalanced and inhumane American health system, is a pet peeve of mine...it rankles me like you wouldn't believe...I don't which I dislike more: the greed-driven system: a system that gived world-class health care to some, while driving others into abject poverty--even homelessness, or making them sicker with too high costs attached to even the most basic treatment.....or, the so-called human beings in America, who don't think, don't want to know, and just plain don't care, about the financially caused misery and suffering going on, all around them.

I got a comment by some redneck troll (a gun john, I suspect) from down Florida way. I sometimes call this guy's town (the ironically named Wesley Chapel)...guess he's just given me a lovely impression of the people from his town, ey? Well, more than a few people in Florida are a bunch of pompous misery guts, anyway.

Long day ahead, have to go get cat food and do some laundry...and feed Flame....she's climbed into my lap and is looking at me reproachfully.

my wee giner cat Flame, really does love The Fratellis! Every time I play their music on here, she clambers into my lap, plops down, and stares happily at the screen, or up at me, in a state of utter bliss....Flamey is a Fratellis fan!

I love horses, as some of you know. Every once in a while, I just surf the web looking for nice pics of horses...found one though (or two), that really "speaks" to me...I love her, she seems like the perfect horse for me...love her face, the look in her eyes and her attitude...and she's not exactly ugly, either...plus, she's a 'gaited' horse, which are really comfy to ride.

Now, my favourite breed is the Friesian, but I've only petted them, in Friesland, but I did once take lessons on a Walking horse, and it was a lovely experience...which is rare, 'cos "school" (hourly lesson) horses, in my lifetime, are usually chosen more for their cheap price or their ability to deal with beginners and/or novice riders, and not for their looks or gaits....in other words, I've ridden more rough-gaited (jarring) horses, than smooth.

But, there have been exceptions..."Firecracker," a steeldust (dark grey) quarter horse cross, who had a lope (western canter) like the proverbial rocking chair. Candy, a palomino mare with the loveliest jog-trot in the world...like you weren't moving at all, and a plain-looking chesnut-coloured Tennessee walking horse named Harvey, who had the loveliest gait and manners--and patience.

Now, after 48 years, and trapped as I am, pretty much forever in the world of the working poor, I well know that horse ownership is one dream that will never come true for me...known it for quite a while now--but, wishing is free...and while I tend to shun dreams and wishes for the most part, these days, I still, albeit in vain, harbour my childhood dream inside me, I'm afraid.

Well, surfing the net, I found a walking horse mare that just captured my attention and held it there--I couldn't tell you why, but...there ya' go. There is no end of wonderful looking horses on this stable's website ( www.cloud9walkers.com )...but something about this mare just jumped out at me.

What's really odd here, is that normally, I really don't like "white-eyed" horses at all, and prefer geldings to mares--- but...I dunno' I just think this looks like she'd be a really cool mare to ride and share some companionship with.

Her name is "Daisy"

I got two meme's tonight via e-mail...one I did, but the other was just the usual personal questions, and as one of my blog friends so aptly posted, (to paraphrase him) it's a real pain in the arse to those of us still unattatched to anyone, to get meme's that ask about romantic involvments...especially current one's...and in case you've not caught on by now--I don't have any!

So, I decided to make up my own little meme--a nonsensical meme where you can say anything you damn please, without worrying about revealing any personal info, or showing that you have no love life.

INTRODUCING:

PLAYWRITE27'S

SILLY MEME!

Instructions---finish the sentence with the silliest answer you can think of, right off the top of your head:

A. I shop at....

Tesco's, cos' David Tennant did an advert for them, and the till clerk told me Tennant bought a sandwich, a packet of crisps and a bottle of ginger there, once---SQEEEEE!

B. I consider myself....

So fabulously wealthy, that I simply cannot decide whether to buy Wales or Brazil this week....decisions, decisions...

c. I find it odd that....

Men find my mustache, my 20 stone weight and my flat breasts so unappealling.

D. Speaking of insane clowns...

Does anyone know what George W. Bush is up to, lately?

E. I usually sleep....

In the nude, smothered in whipped cream and chocolate pudding.

F. I am pleased with....

My life so far, I mean, I have my Sven who gives me massages and feeds me grapes on my sailing yacht in the Greek islands, a pony to ride and a fresh hot pizza whenever I snap my fingers...doesn't get any better than this, people!

G. My favorite expression is....

Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. What?? Oh come on, doesn't everybody say that?

H. As a student, I....

Was an absolute genius, I went straight from kindergarten to Oxford University....I majored in finger painting, and my work now hangs in the Guggenheim Museum.

I. It's taken me....

Ten years to knit this pink polka-dot jumper for my pet elephant, Flossie.

J. I have special training in...

Tying my shoelaces so they never come undone--ever. It's a secret skill taught by drunken celebate gay monks from high in the mountains of New Jersey.

K. I love to eat....

Chinese tinned grubs, Scottish tinned haggis and Alaskan tinned bear balls, washed down with Budwiser's beer-clam-tomato juice cocktail and some yoghurt flavored "White Pepsi."

L. It's only just occured to me that...

I'm not wearing my teflon underpants tonight.

M. I've just met....

Pierce Brosnan, we're planning a dirty weekend together...shhhh--dont' tell the tabloids!

N. I've won....

The BAFTA for Best Performance by an Old Maid Without An Ounce of Talent.

O. I really don't want....

To be a telemarketer, I'd rather write a Doctor Who episode, train harness race horses, sail a boat, juggle meatballs in Harvard Square, wear a chicken costume on a crowded train, and walk my pet cow down Picadilly.

P. I believe that...

Belching and farting in public are the epitomy of good manners, spitting on the sidewalk a sign of good breeding and high class, and that excessive swearing is a sign of high intelligence.

Q. I think this meme is...

The penultimate meme on the planet, and that the United Nations should make doing this meme manditory for anyone wishing to join them.

Tardisgurl e-mailed me two meme's....doing the first one, which is meant for us Whovians:

1. Your first name or preferred username?

Playwrite27

2. Age?

48

3. How long have you been a Dr Who fan?

Since 1983.

4. Have you ever gone to a Dr Who convention?

Sure, back in the 80's (when I was a bit more financially independent) I made the rounds: Boston Mass., and also Manhattan, and Albany NY--my club even sponsored a Who mini-convention, and if I recall, one of the Target (publisher of Dr Who books) writer's was guest.

5. Have you ever hosted or been invited to, a Dr Who themed party?

Yes, back in the late 80's, I went to a Dr Who themed Halloween party.

6. Have you ever appeared or had mention in the media (television, radio, newspaper), in relation to Dr Who?

Yes. I and my fellow fans were interviewed by a reporter from Breakfast, while volunteering at the BBC's Dr Who North American tour exhibit...and, I was interviewed by a reporter for a local newspaper, once. I also used to sometimes contribute to a local Dr Who fan club newsletter--all back in the 1980's.

7. Have you ever been mentioned as a Dr Who fan on the internet?

Not really...at least I don't think so. My blogs don't normally have a massive following, although my blog has been mentioned on the Tardis Newsroom once or twice, I believe, and someone once mentioned a 10th Doctor story she read on my fan-fiction blog on Wordpress, on her David Tennant fan blog.

But generally, it's my belief that I'm totally obscure in the world of internet Dr Who fandom...as far as I know.

8. Have you ever belonged to a Dr Who fan club?

Oh yes. Back in the 80's, I was secretary of a local club numbering between 300 and 400 members, for two years running.

9. Do you write Dr Who fan fiction?

Yes, sometimes. Not lately though. I have my own fan-fiction blog on Wordpress, 'cos I got disgusted with the petty rubbish from rude know-it-alls teens, and they-should-know-better adults, which--very unfortunately-- one sometimes has to put up with on some of the fan fiction websites.

I'm not sure how many stories I've written...maybe 10 or so? (Not counting drabbles.)

10. First episode of Dr Who you watched?

It was an early Tom Baker one--not Robot. I think it was either Arc in Space or The Sontaran Experiment?

11. What was the first episode that got you addicted to Dr Who?

Gosh, I'm honestly not sure. I think I got addicted from that first episode I saw! Bear in mind it was 26 years ago!

12. Favourite Doctor?

I don't really have one...of course I think Tennant is the penultimate Doctor--but then, I thought that of Baker, Pertwee, Davidson, McCoy...all of them! They were and are, each and every one, absolutely fabulous, each in their own unique way. I love them to bits, for sharing their hard work and their talent(s) with us fans.

13. Favourite episode?

Oh come on! 40+ years of Dr Who, how the hell could I just pick one!! Are you daft???

Of the old series..gosh, there's so many! Of the old series, I loved: The Sontaran Experiement, Terror of the Zygons (love the Zygons!), Genesis of the Daleks--oh, that was brilliant, Talons of Weng Chang, The Masque of Mandragora, The Seeds of Doom--well, pretty much all the mid-70's era episdoes, I guess. The Visitation, The Arc of Infinity, Mawdryn Undead....oh to hell with it! Almost all of them, OK?

The new series...well, there were a couple I wasn't crazy about, but none I outright disliked...generally 98% of them are my favourite. How's that for being vague?

(So to not hurt any fan's feelings, I should clarify that the day I like every episode of a TV programme, or every song of an band, or every performance of an actor, or agree with everything someone says, that's the day I'll know I've lost my intellecutal independence!)

Do I have a favourite new series episode? The one's I haven't seen yet, ha-ha! I'm quite excited about Waters of Mars, tho' whether I will ever get to see it or not, is another thing. Poverty sucks when you're a Who fan.

14. Are you a Rose shipper?

You know, for a long time, I didn't even know what "shipper" meant! And, no. Not a Rose shipper, or a Martha or Donna or Sarah Jane shipper, either, for that matter. Simply because for me, to be a simpery girly soap opera type, would bascially make me GAG!

Not that there's anything wrong with being a Rose shipper, or a simpery giggly girly type, it's just that it's totally not "me." It's just absolutely not who I am, as a person--being like that, well, it is as foreign to me, as being a fundementalist Christian bigoted gun-loving Bush supporter!

15. Are you more of a David Tennant fan or a Christopher Eccleston fan?

Well, they are both, in their own unique invdidual ways, fab actors of the highest caliber. That said, I really think Tennant is/was (so far) the penultimate Doctor.

It's Father's Day over here on this side of the Atlantic, and I thought I'd relate to you a few stories that my dad told me. He rarely spoke of his past, so I don't have a lot of tales to tell, but these three stick out most in my memory.

My dad had only just turned 17 when he enlisted in the army in WWII. He lied about his age to get in....gran had fallen from a horse-drawn cart as a child, and couldn't speak or hear and wasn't totally literate, so she might or might not have understood what she was signing--tho' I've no doubt that the close-knit Polish-American community had found a way to keep her abreast of the news from over there.

Dad was the youngest child--my Polish-born immigrant grandfather having been killed in a boiler explosion, about three or four months before dad was born. "Smokey" as my dad was nicknamed ('cos of his cigarette habit) was trained at an airforce base out in the western states, and then sent overseas to England, as a staff clerk.

One night, some buddies of his, tried to persuade dad to go to the cinema with them. Dad had been on a long-term duty that day, and was tired. So, he declined and the boys went off to the cinema without him. That night, a Geman bomb landed smack on top of the cinema, and his friends were all either killed or badly wounded.

_________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

It was the heart of the depression, and gran had a big family to support, all on her own. Money was scarce. To help out, dad recalled walking along the rail tracks looking for loose coal, of trapping muskrat along the Erie Canal and Hudson River, and wandering vacant lots, back alleys and roadways, looking for discarded soda bottles to return for deposit (the latter practice still in use by impoverished Americans today).

Yet, somehow dad managed to find the occasional dime to go to the cinema. The western was king, back then...and, like Ralphie in A Christmas Story, owning the Red Ryder BB rifle--looking much like a cowboy's Winchester, was the dream of every red-blooded American boy.

Dad wanted that rifle so bad, it hurt....like the way I spent my childhood, desperately longing for a horse. He managed to find ways to throw hints at his mum, at every turn. He was convinced he was going to get that gun for Christmas.

Well, Christmas morning came. Dad eagerly searched under the tree for the gun...and it wasn't there.

What dad got, was a package of socks, a copy of Robinson Caruso (which I still have), and an orange.

Dad didn't take it too well. He cried bitterly. He had a hissy fit and was about to storm out of the room, when gran motioned for him to shut up.

With that beautiful smile upon her face (which I reckon came from the fact that she never once ever had to actually listen to her kid's whinging), gran reached behind the sofa, and pulled out a shiny new Red Ryder BB rifle.

________________________________________________________________________________

There simply no spare money to be had. Gran, dad and all my aunts and uncles had all they could do to eat a sparse meal, every day. There was nothing left over, not even for a new pair of shoe laces, or an extra pencil...or a tie for school.

Dad went to a Catholic school, like all the Polish and Ukranian boys did, in his small city that sat across the river from the gritty yet also affluent industrial/collegete city of Troy, NY.

On his first day of school, he went without the requisite tie. The nun in his classroom was not well pleased. "Where is your tie!" she demanded, rather than asked. Dad was a bit tongue-tied and could only stammer meekly that he didn't own one.

The nun wasn't having any of that. So, she made him stand there in front of the class, while she took out a piece of blue construction paper, cutting it with a pair of scissors, into the shape of a tie. She then pinned it onto his shirt, and sent him to the Mother Superior's office.

Mother Superior didn't take well to one of her students showing up for school tie-less. Didn't matter to her, that her student's mum had to choose between buying cabbage and potatoes to feed her children, and buying her boys ties for school. All students must wear a tie, no exception.

So, dad was sent home with the tie--and a note, pinned to his shirt, that he was not to return to school without a tie.

Somehow, gran found someone in the Polish-American community to lend her a tie for dad...but I do believe dad never quite forgave the nuns for their injustice. Certainly, he was never comfortable around them, and he spent as little time near them as possible.

___________________________________________________________________-

The scene in this Normal Rockwell painting came from a tenement in Troy NY....it was just a (long) stone's throw across the Hudson River from where my dad grew up, and this scene could easily have been painted in my dad's neighbourhood.

Can anyone tell me WHY I sometimes get spam in utter gibberish? I mean, what the hell is the point of spamming an English speaker in Farsi or Chinese or...whatever?

Who the hell would even be stupid enough to click a link for a site that obviously you wouldn't be able to read?

Never mind, I don't want to know who...anyone that daft, is a likely candidate for a frontal lobotomy.

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss ...

...ey? I've not even had a first one, yet?

2. I am listening to ...

...A moped and a tourist's coach going by on the street below, my cat Bonnie Prince Charlie snoring loudly, and the accoustic version of Letter from America...followed now by 12/51 by The Strokes on my playlist player.

3. I talk ...

...too much sometimes, not enough, at others.

4. I love ...
...my friends, Dr Who, writing, books, nature/the outdoors, horses, my pets, Shakespeare/theater, old saddles, history/archeology, pizza, boats, exploring new places, learning stuff, model railroading, good music on a rainy night, old films, cowboy stuff, a good joke, a quiet conversation over a good cup of coffee, sunsets. (Jeez--that sounds almost like a lonely heart's column advert!!!)

5. My best friend/s ...
...are fantastic, and I am terrible, and don't spend nearly enough time that I should, talking and/or writing to them.

6. My first real kiss ...
...has yet to happen.

7. Love is ...
...for other people.

8. Marriage is ...
...not ever in the cards for me.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking ...
..."I want to see David Tennant naked--squeee!"

10. I'll always ...
...regret not being able to say goodbye to my dad.

11. The last time I really cried was because ...
...I was was missing my mum and dad.

12. My mobile phone ...
...hardly ever rings.

13. When I wake up in the morning ...
...I usually bolt for the loo...damn it's tough being a diabetic, some days. (TMI??)

14. Before I go to bed ...
...I check the cats food and water, take my meds, have a drink of juice then sit up in bed reading for a bit.

15. Right now I am thinking about ...
...when I was 18 going on 19...."Sad Eyes" by Robert John is playing, and I just had a bit of a flashback down memory lane.

16. Babies are ...
...nice when they're somebody else's--preferably someone I don't see very regularly.

17. I get on Myspace ...
...after I have a frontal lobotmy

18. Today I ...
...puked at the office (in the ladies), after taking my morning dose of pills.

19. Tomorrow I will be ...
...probably either doing the laundry or catching up on my housework

20. I really want to be ...

...living in another country or....anywhere else but this hell full of drooling in-bred rednecks, teenage chavs and uptight neo-conservatives.

Jeez--talk about a waste of time, effort and money--how'd an old maid like me, managed to get e-mail like this:

From: Hotbikinigurl---"I'm hotter than that bikini girl on Idol!"

Mind you, I don't get television, so I've no clue how hot an idol bikini girl really is, even if I was erm--inclined, that way.

From: Hotplaygirl---"Have I got some fabulous lady lumps to show you!"

"Lady lumps???" Not knockers, not titties, not bazookas...now they're reduced to lumps? Okaaay, then.....

From Blond4u: "I just got a webcam!"

Well honey, I hope you haven't got any spinach in your teeth.

From: Wildwoman---"I've got an awesome tramp stamp!"

Ey??? I must really be out of touch! I realize that has to have sexual meaning, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna' waste my life Googling to find out!

From: Tastypeaches---"Are you available?"

Erm--to someone named tasty peaches? Probably not.

From: Sexykitten---"Are you ready for a fling?"

I'm an old maid, I don't do "flings," thanks.

From: Clidesdale: "Meet me! Studsnbuds, gay roughnecks

Erm--sorry, mate, wrong gender...and, even if you were straight-- would I even date someone who names himself after a Scottish plow horse...and then spells it wrong? No, I-don't-think-so!

Just what the ladies ordered....?

Would you like fries with that?

For the redneck who has everything:

Oooh, mummy, I want a bacon bar!

Next time you're in a restaurant, ask the waitress for a "diet water."

Dinner and dessert, who can argue with that? (Me!)

Kitty litter cake? What happens if my cats think it's real??? And, who the hell thinks of this...pardon the pun...shit?

Ewww--Buswiser beer AND tomato-clam juice???? Gee, I wonder why that little gem of a product didn't sell?

Think I'd prefer the beer-clam tomato juice combo!

It's a snack--and breakfast!

Gosh it would really bug me to eat this product...sorry, I couldn't resist!

I've heard of "brain food," but...isn't this carrying it a bit too far?

OK....Spam sushi??? Riiight. I think I'll go order a pizza.

Just a quick post. Today in our area is the good old Hudson Valley Volunteer Fireman's Parade. I grew up going to those--they even held it in our town, in 1974. My dad was a volunteer with our village's fire department...I even went with him once or twice, on a call. Our village had a very loud siren mounted on top of village hall, and you could hear it for miles. So did all the other local company's (that weren't professional firefighters, like in the cities)...and each had a distinct horn that sounded, so you could tell one from the other.

Most horns/sirens were a long or short blast, of varying pitches...but one fire company's siren used to give me the willy's....that was Shaker Road (I think)....their siren would warble eerily, up and down the scale, starting soft, then making a high pitched tone and ending soft again as it wound down...." Wooooooooo-weee-woooo-weee-wooo-weeee-wooo...wooooo!" Gosh, when I was a wee child, and heard that drifting on the wind at night, from the neighbouring town, it used to scare the beejeebers out out me!

On our side of the Hudson River, you could hear roughly five or six different volunteer department's sirens, and sometimes, if the wind was just right, one far away, on the other side of the river.

The parade was nice...lost of fire trucks, and firemen (no women back then in the 60's/70's), marching in their parade dress--dark uniforms with white gloves....and sometimes uniformed--or poshly dressed, women from the various ladies's auxillaries (that was a wives/daughters club that helped with fund raising and special functions). Sometimes there were a few bands...but the cool part was the antique fire trucks! Many departments restore and preserve antique fire engines and other fire memorabila--and they sponsor a retired fireman's home and volunteer firefighter's museum, in Hudson, NY.

My dad was president of our fire company in 1974/75, about the time I was 13/14 years of age. He was always very, very proud of that. They gave him a watch, afterwards, which my sister still has. I have his two uniform badges which he wore in the parades. The firemen came to his wake, and made a special presentation to us....well, OK, it was only four old men in what had to be 30 or 40 year old ill-fitting parade dress, saying a few words...but hey, I'm sure my dad would have appreciated his old buddies coming by to pay their respect to his family.

I had a love/hate relationship with my dad--who was sort of a ying-yang parent...one minute he'd be mean as hell or would ignore you, the next he might hug you, or ask you if he could take you somewhere. Even after the divorce, my mum learned to stay out of my way, after I'd been to visit my dad--it wasn't always fun, being around him...but, I loved him. When the mood struck him, he could be very thoughtful--but when it didn't he could be a right bastard. So, I don't always miss him like I feel I should...and serious guilt trip there...

...but then, I see firemen marching in parade dress, and I actually get all choked up and upset and sad, and yes, I start to cry..and God, yeah, I really miss him. So, I guess I'm a bit ying-yang about him, too.

Cool! I just saw a HUGE old vintage "hook and ladder" firetruck go by, from the Boston Corners' Vol. Fire Department (or so it says on the truck).

Scenes from past Hudson Valley Fireman's Parades:

My dad's department in their current parade dress--

One of the "sirens" I could hear from my home: Fuller Road Fire Department, in their antqiue parade vehicle.

I guess it's time to cal it quits for the night. I have to get up early for work in the morning...and, Boots is laying on my slide out drawer where my mouse is--meaning I literally have to move around the big guy, every time I want to move/click my mouse...not really conductive to computing or word processing, that!

Cheers!

Boots (taken this winter):

Back in 2004, it cost me around $400 (in student loans), just to take an newspaper editing course at my then-four year college in Vermont...that doesn't include the $55 for the text book (which I still have).

It was a night class, that winter (and wouldn't you know it, except for two nights, it either rained or snowed all the way home down every inch of 50 miles of two-lane roads--sod's law).

Made for a long day, that did--classes from 9am to noon, two hour break..more classes from 2 to 5pm, another 2 hour break, then my night class from 7 to 10 pm...followed by the 1 to 1 1/2 hour ride (depending on road conditions) home--but it was only one night a week, so that wasn't so bad.

Sometimes I used the time off to study or work on papers that were coming due, or I might drive west into the tiny city of Rutland, and stroll along looking at the quanit shops, or I might run an errand at the local Walmart or Family Dollar shop...if I wasn't strapped for cash, I might even treat myself to a steak and all-you-can-eat salad bar dinner the Ponderosa steak house chain resturant outside the city...but, that was pretty rare (much like my steak).

It was a boring course--not the most boring I've had (that would be a tie between lyrical poetry--trust me, you had to be there..it was more like learning maths than Byron, and a course I took in doing spreadsheets. ZZZZZ--!!), while news editing was not exactly stimulating...still, I enjoyed it...meh, most of the time.

The professor for my course, was an adjunct (temporary hire) professor, who happened to be the assisstant city editor of our local daily newspaper, here where I live.

Well, this guy was so chuffed with our local paper! When I and another student inquired how one would get a job writing or editing for his paper, he bragged that they had reporters from places like Harvard, Yale and Columbia University. "We only take the best graduates!" He declared...well, folks, I read the local paper online tonight, and if what I read, represents America's best media/communications grads---damn, we're in trouble!

I'll just give one example. Some daft woman from Vermont, worked in a supermarket with this other woman from a rural New York town..they were at a party being given at the supermarket, and the woman from Vermont, spiked the other woman's drink with medicated eye drops--thinking it would just make her sick to her stomach....well, it didn't...it killed her several days later.

The article was about the sentencing for the eye-drop woman, and how the charges had to be lowered from manslaughter to assult, because of lack of solid evidence.

In the article, it said the perps last name was M____,--said it in a couple of places, and the victim too, the victim's last name was given...but then, a quarter way down the page, it starts a new paragraph with "Haskins blah-blah-blah"--referring, apparently to the woman from Vermont.

Haskins??? Who the hell is Haskins??? At no time, in the entire article--I read it a second time, very carefully, is there ANY mention of someone named "Haskins," except for that one sentence!

Now, I'm thinking someone involved with the investigation may be named Haskins--what sprang to mind was my anthropology/archaeology professor, who, if I recall correctly, is qualifed to do forensics...although I could be way off base, it could be the name of a police officer, a witness, or just a name the bozo who wrote this, grabed out of his own immagination? Who knows?

But obviously, NO ONE edited this story; not the resporter, the city editor, the assistant city editor-- or a copy editor, or the online editor, either, for that matter.

You couldn't pay me to work for this newspaper! I already work for one bunch of disorganized slobs, why would I want to choose another?

I'm also left to wonder if I had thown my $400+ away, learning editing from a guy who worked for this rag? (He's since left the newspaper, and is now the head of the journalism courses at the college--heaven help them!)

Of course, do I edit my own work, seven times out of ten? NO! I'm a baaad girl! I could if I wanted to, I am just not that obsessed about it, like I used to be. It's just my friends, mostly, on here, and you guys (and gals) have been putting up with my wonky typing for this long, I figure you can't object too awfully much--or, you're too polite to protest.

....you're driving an open convertible on a hot sunny day, and you get stuck in long line of traffic behind a full garbage truck.

....you're on your way to that interview for that great new job, and you've just stepped in dog poo.

....you've just won 1000 in the lottery drawing, and the next day you get a notice in the post from the tax man, that you owe the government 2000.

....you've finally found the perfect parking spot, after driving around for 30 minutes, when you realize you've not got any change for the parking meter.

....you're having a quiet romantic dinner in a very posh resturant, when all of the sudden you let rip with an exceptionally loud wet fart.

....your boss calls you into his/her office, to discuss your pending raise, only to tell you you're not getting one this year, because you're sacked.

....you find out--after it's been shipped, that the new exercise video you ordered your mum, titled "Get it up with Susie" is really a porn film.

RELAX!

Tomrrow will be different--not necessarily better, but...different.

This good news was brought to you by playwrite27

Speaking of the Ten Commandments in my last post...did you know that there are actually TWO "Ten Commandments?" One that we all know, from Deuteronomy/Moses, and one from Ancient Greece, an Athenan named, Solon.

And, not intending to stir up the Christians, but I do want to point out, that obviously, the idea of ten commandments was not a new thing.

This is historical FACT. You can't run away from it, and you can't cover it up...because you can hide the truth in the darkness--but that doesn't make truth invisiable--except to one whose mind is as blinded by the dark, and the eye is.

Here's the one those of us who grew up Christian or Jewish, are familar with:

1. Have no other gods before me [the God of the Hebrews].
2. Make no images of anything in heaven, earth or the sea, and do not worship or labor for them.
3. Do not vainly use the name of your God [the God of the Hebrews].
4. Do no work on the seventh day of the week.
5. Honor your parents.
6. Do not kill.
7. Do not commit adultery.
8. Do not steal.
9. Do not give false testimony against another.
10. Do not desire another's wife or anything that belongs to another. --Moses, Deuteronomy 5:6-21, Exodus 20:3-16, 1513 BC

And, this version, from Ancient Greece:

1. Trust good character more than promises.
2. Do not speak falsely.
3. Do good things.
4. Do not be hasty in making friends, but do not abandon them once made.
5. Learn to obey before you command.
6. When giving advice, do not recommend what is most pleasing, but what is most useful.
7. Make reason your supreme commander.
8. Do not associate with people who do bad things.
9. Honor the gods.
10. Have regard for your parents. --Solon the Greek, constitution for Athens, around 594, BCE.

I made a big mistake at work tonight. I was bored and logged into the hunting organization I sell for's forums....baaaad mistake. What a bunch of spittle-ejecting, hate vomiting, homophobic, racist, paranoid, gun johns!

Some of their rants make Hitler's speeches, like like a Woman's garden club lecture!

I'll have to go in some time, and copy-paste some of the vomiting, so you can see for yourselves--it's truly enough to turn any sane, reasoning person's stomach, and makes me genuinely ashamed to be an American.

On one particular forum, they were discussing a ruling in some Iowa town. Seems for a couple of years, some spoiled brats have been taking their BB guns and air pellet guns and shooting out car windows, and using the guns as well, in the commission of robberies.

So, the town council passed a law, banning BB guns and air pellet guns from public places (you could still use them on private property). There'd been close to 2 million dollars in damaged windows and other property alone, in the space of two years....so the law is perfectly sane and logical....except to the gun johns.

The gun johns care nothing for the lives and safety of their fellow citizens. The gun johns support crime--because they are against ANY AND ALL laws regulating handgun use.

One idiot from Iowa, stated that we didn't need ANY gun laws, that all we needed was a "return to Christian values."

Well, that little idea is pretty...well--I mean, what if the criminals are Jewish, or atheists??? There goes that little idea down the conservative sewer, ey?

What'dya' gonna' do arsehole psuedo-Christians? Build concentration camps for all the non-Christians, and then "re-educate" them? Hey, it worked for Hitler!

And why the hell do all these so-called "Christians," love their guns so much, anyway? I mean, it's right there in the bible, 6. Do not kill. (SOME right-wing Amerian "Christian" gun johns have twisted this to mean, "you shall not murder," to make it easier for them to sleep at night, with what little conscience--if any---they have left.)

I was just reading on a Dr Who forum, that American Dr Who fans--and yes, (sigh) David Tennant fans-- will be in for a real treat, this summer, as Comic Con will feature the ultimate "New" Dr Who guest panel: Russell T. Davies, Julie Gardner, David Tennant and director Eros Lynn, will be attending the convention, held the last weekend of July in San Diego, California.

According to the forum, David Tennant will apparently be flying out from the airport in Cardiff, directly from the Dr Who set in Wales.

(I was under the impression they were done filming the last of the Series 4 specials, but apparently it's taking longer than planned???)

It'll be a dream come true for many of my fellow American Whovians, and, Okay... (ahem) David Tennant fans, too (very big sigh).

Of course, I won't get to see it. I live closer to Iceland than I do to San Diego--in fact, places like California, Wales, Iceland and England, might just as well be the mythical Galifrey, as anywhere else, to me. But....one can be wistful and daydream, I suppose.

Won't be online much, today. Have chores to run before work tonight...one of which is going to the druggist's for some heartburn medicine....worst case of heartburn I've had in ages, and it's making my life a misery. That'll teach me to heat up a frozen pizza for dinner at midnight, I reckon.

Social Services sent me a form to update my benefits info--it could mean more assistance, or, it could mean I'll have to tighten my belt yet again. The whims of government officials can have a hefty impact on an individual's life.

Speaking of government officials, New York State is in the crapper. The petty coup by the republican party--which basically kicked out the democrats using some kind of archaic political forumula that no one's used for over 100 years, that apparently is still legal--and now the republicans are refusing to work with the democrats, and the republicans are opposing all the laws that the democrats are for--more fu_kwitted infantile conservative behaviour!

As a result, laws that NEED to be passed, are now dead issues. These include coming out of the STONE AGE and permitting gay marriage and a bill to help continue the running New York City public (state) school system---which now looks to be thrown into utter chaos, because no one will actually BE running the city's schools now, because the govt. has to appoint someone to be in charge (specifically, Mayor Bloomberg), and the rethugs in Albany, are blocking that--so, ten thousand school children and their parents will suffer, for no other reason than the conservaitve republican losers in Albany are being massive ARSEHOLES.

All this mess started, becuase a big, fat, infantile LOSER, a billionare from Buffalo named TOM GOLISANO, the big fund raiser for the democratic party, got pissed off at the head of the democrated party for ignoring him, so he had a childish hissy-fit and, stomping his feet like a five-year old, showed his true colours (YELLOW), and turned traitor to the people of New York, and forced a coup with the republicans.

And, all of New York state sufferes, millions of people, all because some twat of a billionare didn't get any attention. I'd call him something nastier than a twat and a loser and a big fat cowardly slob, but I'm too much of a lady.

"A life is not important--except for the impact it has on other lives." Well, I'd say Golisano just made a big splash into the old historical toilet bowl, ey?

This is NOT democracy--this is spinless, mindless, megomania!

First thing I'd do, if I really did win the big lottery--get the heck out of America!

TOM GOLISANO: RICH SPINELESS WALKING PILE OF POO, AND, ONE HELLUVA MASSIVE TWAT:

Oooh, here's some interesting news I happened on today: a cinema is coming to our city centre. OK, there's already one there--but it's a dinner/movie venue--very overpriced, with second-run films and mediocre food. I mean, $15 or $20 to watch what amounts to a "B" movie, while I eat some bland food...meh, no thanks. I have DVD's, I can sit and eat in front of my computer, watching films and TV programmes of my own.

Anyway, there's this 100 year old theater downtown, that is only used by a few community groups at the moment--the local pipe band and a dance troupe do practice, rehersals and sometimes, recitals there.

Well, the owner and his son are presntly renovating the theater--which hasn't shown a film there, since 1936, and they'll be showing indie films, classic film festivals and doing concerts there...they say by the end of July. That will be great--IF, it's affordable, that is. Most things around here, are very much not--not to people like me, anyway. I mean, the recent organ recital at the Presbyterian church was $10, and that was cheap, by most standards---and most concerts (not at a pub/bar) are a good $15 to $50, around these parts..tho' sometimes there's the odd one for $5 or less...even free. The pipe band concerts are free, and sometimes the public library holds free folk, classical or jazz concerts.

the Adirondack Theater Festival (which I'd love to go to) is coming up, and tickets for that run anywhere from $25 to $45! Each! Jeez--I'd have to save for weeks--maybe even for a month or more, to afford a ticket...and the seating is CRAP, too. The most uncomfortable theater seating, I've ever encountered--I mean, folding metal chairs would be more comfy!

No matter how good the play, speaking for myslef, if my arthritic self is sitting all cramped up in seat obviously meant for either Twiggy or an eight year old child, unable to even cross my legs, miserably uncomfortable, I am NOT going to focus all my attention on the peformers! Hence for me, paying for a seat is pretty much a waste of good money. Besides the rubbish seating, the Wood Theater's rest rooms are in the basement, down a long maze of a hallway, well off the beaten track, that can take up most of your intermission time, just to find. And the intermission area is crap, as well---a few cafe tables in a near-barren drafty room, with volunteers selling tiny bottles of warm water you can swallow in two gulps, for $1! What the hell do you call that???

But to me, the idea of a classic film festival at the restored Park Theater downtown, that really appeals. I've never been to one of those, and it sounds quite like something I'd throughly enjoy.

The Wood Theater--stage, music, dance (and...body building contest) venue:

Crappiest theater seating on the planet:

Theater-goers in a near-barren intermission area, spening $1 on luke-warm mini-bottles of water and/or tiny packets of crisps:

$1 for 8 fluid ounces (a bit over 8 1/4 fluid ounces in the UK)...

To my way of thinking, America gives the appearence of a successful democracy, but underneath, it's slowly becoming like a snake eating its own tail.

A country is like a chain forged of strong wise words, of fire and blood and change....but like a chain, it's only as strong as its weakest point. Fire strengthens a chain, but if it gets too hot, it can melt and disolve. America is starting to get a bit too warm, I fear.

I just had two blokes--with guns and badges, banging on my door. Two police detectives. They had arrested the nephew's girlfriend, and now they are looking for the nephew...whether for child neglect, drugs, theft...no clue. I had a feeling about this--the nephew has been hovering around the building at night--and then there was the fight late at night this weekend, where I distinctly heard (couldn't help but hear), "You just got out of jail...." Well, looks like they're going back again, ey?

Charming family. The brother's OK, just very meek, and let's his sister and her criminal brood, walk all over him. I don't imagine the mostly absentee landlord's will be happy with yet another police report centering on this address. Well, pffft--to them.

Well, I've other worries...still got the big "D," today, worse than ever. Can't take the day off, either. Damn and blast. I'm not having a good day, in some repects.

Actually, I did have a very strange dream before waking, this morning. And yes, I was being prepared this elaborate Chinese dinner---by Mao Tse Tung's chef, no less. Yes, in my dream, I was Chairman Mao's next door neighbour, and he'd invited me to dinner, but had to leave, so his chef very kindly made me dinner, anyway....and, while I was waiting dinner, I was watching harness horse races at the race track next to our homes--because of course, in my dream, America and China were next to each other! (Perhaps Canada was re-located to Asia, in my dream?)

......OK, tell me that wasn't a truly weird dream!

And, jokes aside, I really did wake hungry, as well--but that's probably 'cos I didn't bother to eat, last night.

My health and physical fitness may be going all to pot, of late. But...I ain't about to smoke pot, to make it better.

A researcher claims that smoking canabis (a posh kind of marijuana), would help relieve diabetes symptoms.

Well, I've seen my sister and a my peers on pot, and...no thank you. Let's see....deliberately make myself stupid and artificially alter my mood/brain...or just go on watching my diet and taking my metformin--which doesn't turn my brain, even temporarily, into puree of bat guano?

'Scuse the pun, but it's no-brainer for me....I'll go with being "straight," thanks. Nothing against drug users, mind you...if that's what you like to do, fine by me. But, it's not my style, thanks. I've so little left in this life, I want to retain as much of "me" as I possibly can...even if it hurts more.

A certain section of America--mainly parinoid deliberately uneducated white male gun "johns" (well, a lot of them do sleep with their guns) from the rural areas of the country, such as Texas, the Deep South, the wetern states and the mainly republican mountain communities of northern New York---are buying up guns and ammo, faster than you can say, "Moron alert!"

Yes, conservatives hate. And, hate and hate and hate. Hating is their hobby. Hating is easy, caring is not. Anger is easy, understanding is not. Blindly following propaganda is very easy, pausing to think and ask questions, is not. They are intellectually lazy on purpose.

It is easier to lash out and hurt innocents, to shout rude names, or to run away in fear from the real world, than to stand forward and face it with awareness, respect and understanding.

So, the right-winger Neo-American-Nazi's are mad. Mouth-foaming, spittle ejecting, face distorting mad. They are angry because they lost elections. They are angry that liberals want better gun control (to save innocent American lives), they are angry that a black man was elected president, and that a woman is vice-president.They hate anyone whose (right-wing) religious beliefs aren't exactly the same. They are angry because actually protecting the environment is taken being taken seriously again. They are angry because measures are being taken to promote peace in the world. They are angry 'cos we are withdrawing from Iraq (even tho' Bush declared a "victory" in 2003), they are angry because anti-abortion legislation is being taken away, they are angry because gays are being given the right to marry. They are just very, very angry and unreasoning sub-human beings.

And now, today, these charming little people with more guns and beer than brains and courage, are really gonna' be mad at their new black president---President Obama is giving more rights to gays, in the area of health insurance. Many American insurance companies have been denying joint medical coverage for the partners of gay and lesbian couples. Obama has stated that this practice is very unjust and should stop--so he's doing something about it...and I'm sure the far-right Nazi's must be spitting cuss words into their beers right now, as they clean their guns and listen to their gospel music.

Big excitment this morning, in the city of Saratoga Springs, NY, a city of a bit over 26,000 souls, located about 15 miles south of the city where I live, and about a 45 minute drive up the I-87 motorway from the cappital city of Albany.

Seems a female moose, that may have been abandoned by her mum, during the start of the mating season, wandered into the city limits from a rural area about five or seven miles west of the city line. The wooded area, known as Lake Desolation, is believed to be home to about 10 or 12 moose.

Saratoga Springs city police, and county sherrif's officers, started getting reports of a lone moose wandering the city's roadsides, at about 3am. By 7 or 8am, the moose was standing at a busy intersection just outside of the gated entrance of the world famous Saratoga (thoroughbred) Race Course, holding up traffic.

Officers from the NY state Department of Environmental Conservation (aka: ENCON), and city police, managed to chase the bewildered and tired young moose inside the race track's pastoral grounds, shutting the gate behind her.

Then, an ENCON police officer shot the moose with a tranquilizer dart. After she passed out, they checked her for injuries, after she'd been sideswiped by a passing motorist earlier that morning. Finding her wounds to be very superficial, the ENCON people loaded into a horsebox, and trailered her back out to Lake Desolation.

MISS MOOSE, BEHIND THE FENCE AT THE RACE TRACK, UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF AN ENCON DART:

I was talking to someone at the office recently, about wanting to see the new Degas exhibit at the Hyde Collection. I'm not a huge fan of Degas, but I do like some of his work...but have only seen it in books, and have learned in my life, that up close and personal is always the optimal way to view art--gives you a perspective you can never achieve via books or even videos.

That's something I learned well, at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. I was never a huge fan of Rembrant--thought him too...well, I guess my simplistic mind would say, too dark and heavy and ponderous, for my taste. Then I stood just a few feet away from his Nightwatch paintings..and my god! I was standing there, catching flies. (My late mum's expression for being open-mouthed.)

It seemed to me that the folks in the portrait could just walk out of the painting, it was so life-like, almost three-dimentional. I never knew! It always looked rather dull, in print...and of course, in a book, you also don't have a clue as the the true size of these paintings.

Anyway, the person I was speaking to, claimed to be an ex-school teacher, from first to fifth grades...and she didn't have a clue who Degas was...and, while I was mildly surprised when this American public school teacher said she had never studied any kind of art, and hadn't heard of a famous painter. I was OK with that--everyone has their own preferences in this life, that's fine...sad for the students though, in a way...but that's the USA's free educational system, for you. So, I merely shrugged and explained that he was a French impressionist.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Ey???" (I'm sorry to say I replied, with raised eyebrow.)

(OK, NOW you know why I never studied Shakespeare in 10 years of public (state) schooling! Hopefully now you can grasp why it is, that the USA lags behind the rest of the planet when it comes to education? Oh, there's loads of excellent teachers--I've been blessed to have a few, when I was young--but, there's just as many who don't know their arse from a teakettle. They got their job because they are good at taking tests... and bullshiting and brown-nosing. Well, at least, that's my theory.)

"So, who is this Degas?" She asked.

"He liked to paint women--ballerinas, nudes, that sort of thing. He seemed to like using a lot of pastel colours."

(Blank look from ex-teacher)

So, next thing I know, she blurts out to me, "You like looking at art, don't you?" She asked primly.

(I resisted saying, "DOH--why do you think I want to go to the musuem, to stand around trying to impress empty-headed people like you?)

"You're quite a snob, you know that?" the ex-elementary school teacher stated.

"Ey???" (I said, raising the other eyebrow.)

(Me? A snob, because I enjoy looking at art? Because I've watched a few episodes of Sister Wendy? Because I've gone to museums since I was a wee child? Because I own two books on art? That makes me a snob???? )

Erm--apparently, the fact that at the time of this conversation, I was standing in the ladies, wearing cheap black jeans from Walmart, and a black tee shirt from the now defuct Steve and Barry's deep discount shop, which was emblazoned with a villan from Spiderman on it, wasn't all that a clue as to my true status in life?

"You should look for art on the internet." She added, with conviction, "Then you wouldn't have to go to a museum."

Well...I would have raised a third eyebrown, if I had one. I would have continued the discussion, but my measly 10 min break was over...thank god...I would have had to explain the whole difference between seeing art online, as opposed to in person--and heaven only knows what she would have accused me of being, then!

OK, so maybe I did put one tiny, sly, itty-bitty off-hand reference to DT's Hamlet in here....but really, this is just a fun-fact trivia quiz I made up, centred on the play, Hamlet.

Try it if you are so inclined, you might surprise yourself with what you know--and, what you don't know!

And, believe it or not, you don't have to be a scholar to take this quiz--this doesn't ask you even once to remember a quote or scene from the play, so relax--and maybe learn some quirky facts about the history of the world's most famous play.

http://www.mystudiyo.com/ch/a90205/go/hamlet_trivia_quiz:_fun_facts

See the man. What a funny man. His name is Hamlet. He is a prince. He is sad. Why are you sad, Hamlet?

Wouldn't you like to play like that?

---February 1958 by Larry Siegel for a first grade class

I wrote last night (possibly in a private post, so you may not have read it), that I had a busy day ahead, but that nothing is a sure thing, and that a spanner may be thown into the works--which proved to be right, in this case: I can't do what I planned today, thanks to a bad foot.

My left foot became badly swollen last night--which is odd, cos' it's my right foot that's bad. It's so swollen, that I've only limited feeling in it, and can barely wiggle my toes--also, my left knee is slightly swollen and stiff, as well.

Not sure if I did something from bike riding, or if it's a bad case of edema, or what? I'd like to go to the doctors, but last time I went, they bundled me off to the ER in an ambulance, so I'm really hesitant to go now, 'cos I desperately need to pay my bills, and I can't do that if I am not working (the old no work-no pay thing, again).

So, even though I seriously NEED to go to the post office and also to do a spot of laundry and buy some things (like toliet paper, getting dangerously low on that, alas...don't fancy using magazine pages, thanks)....I am staying home with my leg propped up, taking Tylenol. I wouldn't care about the swelling, I'm used to that, and certainly, the pain has to be excessive to stop me--I've had arthritis since age 19, and have spent the last 30 years banging around; being a human pack mule, working with animals and being butch and outdoorsy and all that rubbish, so I'm well used to body aches--pretty much to the point where I take it for granted. However, not being able to feel my toes, that's not a good thing. And, the swelling is creeping up my leg, into just above me knee, now.

I'm hoping it's just a particularly bad bout of bursitis (I actually do have all the "itis's", as well as a bone spur and other joint issues)...but, well, we'll see. If it's a bad case of edema, I guess I'll HAVE to shell out 26 dollars and go to the doctor's to have it looked at....it may be that I've had too much sodium over the weekend, or that my atenolol is causing it, or, it may be something more serious. It's not my heart, just did all the tests and my ticker is "good for at least another five years."

Anyway, that's what's going on with me, today. There's storms in the area today, and it's a bit cooler than normal--as it has been for the last several weeks. Still, it's supposed to be more summer-like by the end of the week. In about 2 or 3 weeks, I and the rest of our staff at work, are getting a three-day (unpaid) break for the big Independence Day holiday weekend. That'll be nice. My farm lady friend may be going to Boston to visit family and watch the fireworks over the river, there.

I'm toying with going to the local baseball park, and seeing the cast of Beatlemania perform, and watch the firework's show....but, 3 week's time can bring changes, so we'll see what we shall see.

Cheers, all.

An acquaintance of mine sells model horses--and is a model horse show judge.

Yes, there are such things as model horse shows. Tho' I'm a collector (mostly because of lack of space-and income restraints, the bulk of my collection is of mini models, about 3 inches tall), I've never done a show--in fact, I've only been to one.

There's two types of model horse shows--photo shows, where collectors send detailed photos of their horses, posing against realistic backgrounds, and "live" shows, where collectors gather together and stage classes, named after actual real-life horse show classes--there's a halter class, a western pleasure and western trail class, there's hunter-jumper, dressage and even polo and driving classes...and there's also historical mock ups and wild horse classes...as well as "plain" classes, where the models are displayed on their own, without any tack on them.

Models can be original or re-done-that is, resculpted and/or re-painted, to make them seem more realistic...a few people have even been known to add real horse hair to their model's manes and tails!

Besides re-designing their models, many collectors either make or buy realistic tack, harness and/or carts or carriages for their models.

Models can be by a number of makers--Breyer, Peter Stone, Blue Ribbon, Hagen-renaker, Bestwick, etc., and also made in a number of different materials: plastic, resin, china, porcelain, ceramic, etc.

There's beginner shows, and then there's "serious" shows. There's "live" shows in my region, in Vermont and Massachusetts and down in the metropolitain New York/Long Island/New Jersey area.

There are national shows as well, in places like The Kentucky Horse Park and elsewhere across the country, from New York to California.

Here's some pics of models from both photo and "live" model horse shows:

Ironically, I was reminising about old Alka-Seltzer adverts...little knowing that I'd be needing them myself! I don't have any, and it's become untenable for me to sleep with massive heartburn, so...

I re-wrote two poems I did last year. Meh, it was something to do. I really didn't do a lot, just changed some of the words to convey (maybe if I'm lucky) more meaning and feeling to the two things.

I'm also up, because The neighbours across the hall have had a party all night, and they're loud at the best of times, but there's been a lot of hillbilly-chav whoo-hooing and hollering...apprently their baseball team was doing well. It's a bit like living next to a sports bar, when they and their ne'er do well family get together---one of the "boys," the one that just got out of jail (which I know, 'cos I heard her say, "You just got out of jail"....blah-blah-blah, loud and clear through my walls)--so, he had a spat with his mum, and stomped down our creaky wooden staircase, and slammed the outside door downstairs so hard, it literally rocked my floor/chair, and sent all three cats flying--and put two pictures askew on the wall. Have I mentioned that I hate living in this building?

________________________________________________________

Worn Down to a Nubbin'

A Chain,
Massive black links
Eroded, rusty Anchor
Gouging furrows in life's sucking sands
That's me.

Music Falling Like Leaves From the Sky

There is
Music in rain.
Pattering raindrops decending;
Striking falling foliage, muddy terrain
And me.

It's after 11 at night here, and I'm about to head off to bed. I've a bit of a long day tomorrow--well, that's if everything goes as planned. If nothing else I've learning in this life, is that every second, of every hour, of every day, is all by chance. It may be the same from day to day, as it often is with me...or, one little thing can be the domino that knocks your whole world out from under your feet...you just never know.

We'll see how my legs have fared, tomorrow, after me pedaling 'round the city park, on day two of our annual arts fest downtown. I used to have rock-solid calves, several years ago, between cycling and walking, and the occasional horseback ride. I may have weighed about 250 pounds (just shy of 18 stone, I believe) in the latter part of the 90's and early 2000's, but by god, it didn't stop me from doing things, and actually I was extremely stong and fit for someone of my hefty size--OK, let's not sugarcoat it, I was very butch, yeah?

Yesterday, I got 9 identical bills in the post, from my state student lender--9 identical bills, for $24,700...that's a roughly $11,000 over my total income for the entire year, mind you. You see, besides the loans and aid and grants for my attending 1 3/4 colleges (I'm still technically roughly just a bit over 1 year shy of a BA in communications) during the first half of this decade, butch old me also got a small grant and a rather sizeable and scary student loan for my trip to Egypt (which I signed for with much reluctance).

It took me over a month to decide whether to go for that trip, or not invest in it, and stay home--so many times, I wish I'd decided not to...and then I remember some of the magical and once-in-a-lifetime things I got to see and do--visiting brand new tombs closed to the public, horse riding in the dark in the desert above the Spynx, meeting Dr Hawass the Director General of Antiquites, and...sipping fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them then dancing in a conga line with a belly dancer, all of which was about as far removed from the rather stoic and pastoral world I knew and lived in and grew up in, as any one person could get---and, I don't know.

On the other hand, a whole lot of bad things happened while I was in Egypt--very bad things (among them, my dad had a massive and eventually fatal heart attack, my mum was hospitalized, I had $3000 nicked from my bank account, our cats were left for a couple of days without food or water, oh, and our pipes in our caravan froze and burst in the record-breaking minus 40 F/C degrees below freezing weather--and that isn't even every bad thing, that happend to me, trust me, just the worst).

Anyway, so I guess I will always wonder if I did something right, or did something totally wrong...and then in Jan. of 2004, I came home from the 2 week trip to Egypt with my college class, having shed just a hair over 20 pounds in 2 weeks, and continued to lose weight (though I just can't seem to get below 200 pounds, darn it)...and gain it...and lose it again. Less than two week's ago, I was around 212, Friday I weighed myself and I was 207, and possibly in another two weeks time, I may or may not be in the 210+ range again...who knows?

I guess the one thing I've learned best in the last half of the 2000's, is that nothing is truly dependable or reliable or permanent. Not even the sun and the stars...they burn bright one milennia, and then darken the next, and will one day, they will burn out and die forever....and maybe I'll drop below 200, or maybe I'll be two tonne Nancy, again, and when I walk onto the beach, people will go, "Free Nancy! Free Nancy!" as I shoot water out my blowhole.

God, I'm in a melancholy mood tonight. I mean, what's past is past, and who the hell cares, anyway? I've certainly been in one heck of a blue funk, lately. I must be boring the hell out of everyone, with my depressing blather. Sorry. I'll try to be more upbeat for a while, ey?

Meh, on that note, I think it's time to feed the cats and go to bed.

Well, my spaghetti and meatballs are fab!

Anyone American my age, will well remember this great commercial. I was about 10 years old, and the Alka-Seltzer adverts on TV were very popular with us kids.

Alka-Selztzer had some great commericals in the 70's--the other famous one, when I was about 12, was:

HUSBAND: "I can't believe I ate the whooole, thing. I can't believe I ate the whooole, thing.."

WIFE: "He can't believe he ate the whooole thing....you ate it, George!"

I got a tee shirt for Christmas with that slogan on it, that year. "I can't believe I ate the 0 (a hole) thing!" It was one of the first tee shirts I can ever remember my mum, buying me.

Well, I WAS going to make something I've not made since before my mum died--my mum's liver and onions recipe...it was absofreakinloutely the ONLY way my mum could ever get me to eat calves' liver.

She got it from an old Campbell's Soup cookbook, back in the late 60's. You cook up some bacon, drain off some of the fat, then, after coating the liver in seasoned flour, you fry the liver up in a small amount of bacon fat, drain off the fat, add a tin of French onion soup, let it simmer, and then before serving, stir in a small amount of sour cream into the soup, and top the liver with crumbled crisp bacon. I was going to make it some peas and buttered noodles on the side...had my mouth all set for it...and forgot to take the rashers of bacon out of the freezer--DOH!! (Slaps forehead...ow.)

So, on with plan B...I'd taken some ready-made Italian meatballs I got on sale at the in-store butcher's last week, out of the freezer yesterday. Thankfully they were (mostly) thawed...so, have them baking in the oven, and will cook up some capellini pasta, and try the new Paul Sorvino's (yes, the guy from Law and Order) vodka-cream spaghetti sauce with it...a wee salad on the side, and bobsyeruncle, I've got dinner on the fly.

Looks like there's a bit of a storm brewing to our west. A carbon-copy of yesterday, the rain thankfully held off for the afternoon, but is looking to be a real gully-washer, now.

There was a dual organ concert down the street at the Presbyterian church (they've quite a huge church by my standards, and have two organs, one at either end)...the concert was to feature works by Debussy. I toyed with going, but it wanted a $10 donation--and I must confess, I like organ music...as long as it's FREE, ha-ha.

I went back to the arts fest downtown late this afternoon--and came back with my legs actually trembling and feeling a bit like rubber....I pedaled down and back twice, and that's more cycling than I've done in about 5 years! I'm a bit shaky on a bike--not helped by the fact that my rear brakes don't work so hot, so I have to use my feet to stop...also, as I mentioned before, the bike keeps slipping gears every time I pedal, so that's a bit extra to cope with...tho' not a major issue. I think my front tyre is a bit leaky, it seemed a little softer today, than yesterday...but no big deal, cos' of the free air pump at the shop/petrol station down the street.

A woman is suing a fast food restaurant in the upper mid-west, cos' they refused to serve her at their drive-thru. She was on a mobility scooter, and the resturant claimed it was a safety/visability issue. They serve people on mopeds, they even serve people on horseback...don't see what the issue was? Well, we'll see if the woman wins her case--oh, cool...I have just turned my clock-radio on in the bedroom, and they are playing "Lady" by John Denver. Very cool!

Well, have to go start the pasta and make the salad. Cheers.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.--Mother Goose, 18th century AD.

______________________________________________

Dickie-boy Trill
Climbed Helicon hill
to fetch a pail a poesy
the muses saw
and (being quick on the draw)
they knocked him arseover nosey.---Gaius Valerius Catullus, Songs 1 AD. (As translated by Frank O. Copley)

_______________________________________________

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Jill sued Jack and Jack sued back,
The judge is going to fine her;
Now the pail's been sent to jail
For abandoning a minor.

We'll sue Jack and he'll sue Jill,
The hill is suing for scandal;
The water says he'll sue the press-
And everyone's suing the handle---Felix Dennis, 21st century, AD

Can't sleep, darn it! It's 4am, and reading in bed wasn't working, so I tried watching a movie on DVD (Pillow Talk), that didn't work, so I got back on the computer and made up another daft quiz--this time quotes from famous Americans. ( http://www.mystudiyo.com/ch/a90074/go/quotable_americans_quiz )...boring!

I started to get hungry, so I had a few spoonfuls of Starbuck's coffee/vanilla/caramel ice cream...not too much, don't want to freak out my blood sugar...and now I'm going to try going back to bed...I was going to do a caption for Roasting David Tennant, but..meh. Who cares? I'm sure Tennant wouldn't, ha-ha!

Hope if anyone reads this, that you have a good Sunday. Cheers.

So, I got about 10 "new" books today, from the library's used and discarded book sale--which they hold three times a year, so I'll have to make do with these until October, sadly.

Almost immediately, I plunged into 'Shakespeare Alive!"

This is a relatively short paperback book, written in the mid-80's by the long-time director and producer of the New York Shakespeare Festival in Central Park. The book is written for the American reader (in other words, written for someone whose literacy level is on par with your average 15 or 16 year old), and despite what I feel are sometimes slightly patronizing analogies cross-referencing the modern American with the Renissance world (references to Medicare and food stamps, etc), the book is still quite gripping.

In the book, you are transformed into a semi-literate farm labourer, who, to help his on-the-brink-of-starving family, leaves his home village (stated to be somewhere close to Stratford-Upon-Avon), for the bustling metropolis of London. There, you are carried into the world of this young man, struggling to find work in a dirty, filthy, grossly impoverished drunken, brawling--yet also incresingly educated, literate and enlightened world.

It is a world of massive class seperation---the rich hold all the power, go to college, travel, dress and eat well...while the bulk of the population often ends up walking the roads, and dying of starvation in ditches....there's some really good parallels between then, and now, with our own recession and what many are beginning to see as an un-even power gap between big corporations/politicians, and the "average Joe." Yes--there was a recession in Shakespeare's day, which is what spurred on the starvation times.

The book spends a lot of time, giving one the background of all the history and dynamics of Shakespeare's times: education/literacy, exploration, trade, jobs, entertainment, diseases/medical care (or lack thereof), sanitation (ditto), housing, military actions, etc.

I'm only on the first few chapters, but, despite the author's insistence on, at times, talking down to his readers ever so slightly, I'm really enjoying the book so far. Apparently, the young man will--later in the book, become an apprenctice with Shakespeare's acting troop, and we will get an "inside peek" at the inner-workings of the original Globe Theatre.

This book is what I consider an "easy read" and is flying by, I can't wait to see what happens next.

The other non-fiction book I purchased today--but have only skimmed a bit, is: 'Roman Culture: weapons and man,' published by George Braziller publishers and edited by Gary Wills. This book is a bit more involved than the Shakespeare book, but it too, takes you back into the everyday world of the Ancient Roman. This book brings to life their world, through their literature....with a few wonderful black and white photos of Roman artworks to illustrate the book. I already posted a couple of poems I found in this book, in my previous "The more things change..." post. Looking forward to reading it in full, sometime this summer.

To travel back into another age, the Doctor has his Tardis, the techno-geeks have sites on the web, but, I'll take my books (and museums), any day of the week.

While I was sat at a picnic table on the street, eating my hot dog for lunch, at the city's art festival today, there was a posh-looking older middle-aged lady across from me, with a wee posh doggie. She seemed quite friendly and chatty, and I inititally thought, "Well, isn't this lovely, to sit with a nice lady, after all the rotten people I've had to deal with at work, today."

Then, she spilled her can of Orange Crush soda all over her white shorts.

I had felt rather bad for her, as she was quite distressed about it, fussing that she "hates being dirty." Completely ignoring my offer of some extra napkins to assist, she got up without saying another word to me, and yanking the wee dog practically off its feet, she stormed off....leaving her soda can and lunch papers just sitting there, with a perfectly good rubbish bin not more than three feet away from her!

Goes to show: You can look posh, you can dress posh, you can speak posh, you can spend poshly...but if you haven't got any class to begin with, you're not posh where it REALLY counts---inside your heart and your mind and your soul. Inside, you're all chav.

Gah--people were more miserable then ever, on the phones today. I don't know what's going on in America this week, but from Maine to California, Florida to Alaska and Hawaii, Americans are just downright rude, rotten, miserable and utterly without an ounce of common courtesey, decency or patience! So speaks She-Who-Knows.

Of course, I keep hearing the "I've got no money" mantra, from rich and poor and middle-class alike. They think they're the ONLY one's who are having money issues, but there are millions--all over the world, having their same problems...and, furthermore, it's a problem that has been universal, since the invention of money!

Take these ditties for instance, from ancient Rome:

What's this draft, whistling through your house?--
no east wind, dank;
an OVERdraft is blowing coldly,
from the bank.

You don't owe a cent, not a cent--
Sestus,
we say.
(for he who owes, Sestus,
is able to pay.)

I have!!! Whoo-hoo!!

I bought a bike this morning. Only $5.00, too!

Of course, it looks like a $5 bicycle, but...who cares? I'm not posh, my residence isn't posh, nothing about me is posh, so why should my new-found mode of transport, be?

The nice thing about it is, that it's pretty much the exact same style and brand of bicycle, as the last one I had (which was stolen) back in the early 2000's.

It's dirty, a tad rusty, has flat tyres, the rear brake's a bit iffy and it needs a lube job...but, other than fixing the brakes (the fronts work, and the rear works marginally), I can clean it, put air in and oil it, no worries. Oh, and get a bike lock, LOL.

Hey, five bucks for a ladies' mountain bike, can't beat that! I know this bike cost about $80.00 new, so I reckon I'm getting a good bargain, rust, wonky brakes and all.

After work, I strolled around the various stalls at the country faire and the arts and crafts festival--it takes up half the city's downtown, so I couldn't see everything. There were some amazing and lovely things there--gosh, saw some things I wouldn't have minded having--but, even if I was wealthy, I doubt I would have spent much money, as, in my humble opinion, more than a few of the items were a tad overpriced. (What can I say? I'm addicted to getting bargains).

I saw this lovely ladies' tee shirt..and asked how much...blimey! It was on "sale" for $26.95! A blinking TEE SHIRT!!! Yeah, it was pretty and different, but...it's a bloody tee shirt, not a prom dress! The same booth had ladies' short sleeve bouses..again, very pretty and summery looking, but they were $57 ON SALE! Cripes! But you know, much to my amazement, some women were actually BUYING them...jeez, I guess the recession hasn't hit everybody, ey?

I mean, there's been a few times I've spent 40 to 60 dollars on an item of clothing--but it was either when someone gave me a gift voucher, or if I had a really special occasion (like my dress I wore under my gown for my college graduation--I know, silly to buy a posh dress when no one will see it during the ceremony, but it was my most special occasion, ever in my lifetime, so I felt it justified)

Anyway, after work I bought lunch and went to the library book sale, where I spent $7 on some used books. I was just writing about Shakespeare, and found a book called "Shakespeare Alive!" which is all about daily life in Shakespeare's time. Got another book on ancient Roman culture that looked interesting...the rest of the books were westerns, with a copy of The Citadel (Cronin?) thrown in, which I've not read in years, and 2 Horatio Hornblower books, which I'm rather fond of.

Now, I'm off out again...had to come home to take my afternoon pill, and I'll be off down to the convenient store to put some air in my new mountain bike's tyres. Yippeee!!! If I don't fall off, I'll be getting out and about a lot easier, this summer. I've missed bike riding, used to love it.

Cheers!

....so says she who's had all of about 4 hour's sleep. The boys upstairs had one helluva' party last night--no loud music, but they and their little friends were running around over my head until nearly 4am, like a bunch of five year olds on a combination of crack and caffine. Wasn't fun, having bang-thump-stomp-stomp-stomp over my head, all night long.

I'm up early, so I thought I'd buy a bacon roll downtown, instead of making my breakfast. The annual city arts and crafts festival is on this weekend, and in my building's car park is a country faire with more arts and crafts, and the senior center is having a jumble sale, and the public library is having a used/discarded book sale....and I have to be to work at 10am, so if I want to take any of this in, I have to get cracking and get the hell out of here...as I've said, obviously I don't walk fast with a limp...which is worse of late, 'cos I popped that more or less permanent sprain in my ligament the other day, so now I have a painful limp, ha-ha. Well, at least I am still able to walk, that's the main thing.

After a couple of days of overcast skies and intermittet (and sometimes quite heavy) rain, the day has dawned sunny--so far.

A lot of private jets and planes were coming over the city yesterday, headed for the airport--there's a ton of million-dollar seasonal homes up the road in Lake George (quite a few of them for sale at $100,000+ off right now, if any rich people out there are looking for "bargains"), so I reckon a lot of the posh people are coming in for the weekend--maybe to take in the festivals. I am going to try to get aronnd to some of them...I enjoy looking at art, and certainly, there'll be plenty of that in the city park today.

And, I'll enjoy getting out a bit--even tho' I have to go to work most of the afternoon, dealing with a bunch of misery-guts, coast-to-coast.

The foliage and flowers seem extra luxuriant this year, and tho' I live in the city now, and am no longer surrounded by nature, I can still appreciate what of it there is, in this wee northern city. Emeerson wrote something once, to the effect that, the make up of our universe is a mixture of raw nature and the human soul---I reckon he hit the nail right on the head--at least, when it comes to me, anyway.

If, after you're reading this, you'll be in New York state, traveling up the I-87 motorway towards the Adirondacks, Lake Placid or Montreal Quebec, be sure to get off at extit 18 and head east up Main street--which turns into Broad street, past the hospital, the new condos at the old factory and the wee bus station, and then hang a left at the roundabout downtown to either Ridge or Glen Streets, and take in some of the activites going on in Glens Falls today.

Cheers.

If you're looking for script leaks or spoilers....

You may have noticed that I've more or less not posted anything lately about the Dr Who specials...yes, I know some stuff, but I didn't want to know it, it was thrust at me without warning, so I had little chance to avoid it.

But, I really do hate spoilers. I have had so many 'bad' surprises in my life, that I genuinely cherish the 'nice' surprises.

So, no. I won't post any spoilers if at all possible, and, I've been studiously avoiding 2009 special news about anything--well, by anything, I mean any news, rumours, leaks that are specifically about the plot, guest stars, monsters, Tennant's regeneration, etc., for quite a while now.

And, I give you this warning--no second chances, ha-ha, that if you try to pawn off a spoiler on me, I'll have to ring up Guido, a very butch Italian boy from Brooklyn, who can do some very creative things with a winepress and a vat of rice pudding I'm told, and have him pay you a visit some dark and stormy night.

I tried to write a 5 minute comedy skit for my playwrighting class in college once, (it was an "easy" assignment, as a reward for some hard work we all did on a big project)--well, I tried to write a skit that was Shakespearean weather report.

Didn't quite work....I found my knowledge of Shakepearean characters and lines and...well, EVERYTHING, so limited, that I couldn't fit enough material in, for even a five minute go. That shamed me, that did. I felt so frustrated and stupid (I don't handle feeling stupid very well, alas), and angry too, that the Ameican public (NY state) educational system didn't think enough of me, to teach me Shakespeare and the classics, poetry and..well, everything I now consider quite important to me.

I had to wait until my early 40's, to even get a toe-hold on the classics, and my mid-40's to begin to crack the door a bit, on Shakespeare. Every thing before that time, that I learned and knew about classical literature, poetry and/or Shakespeare, I had to try and sort out for myself--no mean feat, for someone who grew up conisistantly getting bad grades! How the hell I ever managed to go three semesters in college with straight A's, is still beyond me. Maybe 'cos I could (mostly) choose my subjects and, most importantly, I loved being there.

Anyway, I still feel so frustrated and infantile when trying to fathom anything Shakespeare! I've been doggedly trying to get through this book called, "Shakespeare As A Dramatic Artist," for about a YEAR now. No joke, really, I have!

It's really tough going, not helped by the fact that my brain isn't quite fuctioning on all cylinders any longer, since my illness in 2007. I mean, I'm not senile yet, but my writing and learning processes have suffered quite a bit, in the last year--I don't write about it much--in fact, I've stopped, because no one "gets" it, and that only frustrates me even more.

It's not just the illness that's made my mind skip a few beats now and then, I think it's also a product of the extreme isolation that I've had to deal with--the isolation of sometimes extreme poverty (not now at the moment, thank god), and the fact that I had no one around for a hundred miles in any direction to keep me company...that was rough, sometimes...'cos, even tho' I've far-away friends, to be 100% physically alone, 100% of the time, with rarely any place to go....that's basically being put into solitary confinment, the lack of both intellectual and outside stimulation.

I went through nearly 3 years of living hell, that no one reading this can ever grasp...and that's okay, really--that's fine. But, it DID "damage" me, I'm afraid. I'm nothing like the person I was, before mum died and I lost everything. Just like I'm not the same person I was before I went to college at age 39, and before, when I was lucky enough to be doing two jobs I loved (stablehand, and flea market stall owner) some 20 years ago...and of course, I'd be virtually a total stranger today, to my teenage self.

I think if my teenage self knew what I'd was going to be like at 48, I'd have run away screaming bloody murder!

Anyway, back to the point, I've been struggling and slogging through this book over the past year--one of the major obsticles, is that the author--some gent named Moulton, back in 1906, blithely assumed his readers would already be familar with all of the plays discussed---major obsticle for me, there!

But, I've been reading about As You Like it--which I've only just started pursuing...I've never read or seen the bulk of Shakespeare's plays. Over the last 30 or so years, I've either read, seen or touched lightly on: Twelfth Night, Hamlet, Richard II (which I loved), MacBeth, Julius Caesar, Midsummer's Night Dream, Romeo and Juliet, Titus of Athens and Othello. Consider that there's 37 plays; and of that list, I've only seen one stage performance and three videos, heard one radio broadcast and read 3 of the plays (the rest of my "exposure" was from some other source, like a television documentary, or watered down versions of the stories, in books such as Tales From Shakespeare by Lamb).

I'm at the bit in Shakespeare As A Dramatic Artist, where the author is discussing As You Like it (which I still haven't read yet, bollocks it all), and comparing the comedic interaction between Touchstone and Jaques.

In discussing the interplay between these two characters, Moulton says this: "Professional humour has then classed with genuine, morbid with professional. The treatment is complete, when the unhealthiness of humour in Jaques, is accentuated by his being brought into contact by humour that is sound."

And, reading that, I immediately thought of Laurel and Hardy, of all things. Not sure why, but suddenly, I had this vision in my head, of Hardy being all stern and pissed off at Laurel..and then Laurel turning it around and making the whole thing funny.

And, don't most good sit-coms still use that forumla--that blending with what Moulton rather stoically calls "unhealthy" humour, with teflon-coated wit?

Or, am I wrong? Am I being too simplistic? It's so hard, for me...especially trying to grasp things on my own. I suck at self-study, and thrive much better on interaction with others. I never know when I'm all on my own, if I'm going in the correct direction with my interrperitation(s), or if I'm just being shallow and daft. (Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, I can't seem to spell any more, either, damn it!)

There, I've probably bored you all to death. Sorry. I'm off my dearies, for work tonight. I get out at 10pm, then have to get up early tomorrow, to be in at 10am...have I mentioned that I hate my job? People coast-to-coast all across the USA have been totally rotten all week---(to the point where many reps are making jokes about going out to get drunk or slapping the first person who comes along, just on principle)..and if these people are miserable twats on the weeknights--my god, it's going to be horrid this weekend. Mean people suck, in case you didn't know...and 1/2 of America have turned into a bunch of mean little misery-guts, let me tell you!!

Well, time to put on some fresh knickers and go trudge down the road to the office tower that has become my own personal torture chamber...cheers.

ERM--IS IT JUST ME, OR DOES TOUCHSTONE HAVE NICER LEGS THAN AUDREY???

If nothing else I've learned in this life, is that nothing lasts. From the moment we are born, outside forces begin changing us, while inside, our physical, emotional and mental limitations--or expansions, all work in chaotic concert to shape who we are and who-and what, we shall become...but in the end, we all return to the earth, and crumble into dust. In the end, six feet of earth, or a handful of ash, makes us all the same size.

I was contemplating the recent political upheavals in our two nations--ironically, reversed. Where the USA has finally had enough of an oppressive, ignorant and greedy conservative "regime," (I say that, because at the height of Bush's power, the republican party had pretty much total control over our three main branches of government). They swung to the more moderate to liberal side, and elected not only President Obama, but also re-gained at least partial control of the House and Senate--tho' the Surpreme Court still has conservative leanings.

Over there in the UK, the right-wing is definately taking over, and already there are protests over the seemingly ignorant viewpoints of certain MEP's. Wheter the conservative power surge will end up in over-the top hate-mongering, unyeilding conservatism, and, end up in a Bush style crash-and-burn, or whether the UK's politics will continue with business as usual, remains to be seen.

But, as long as there are open elections (and people with the backbone to vote), there is still hope: Just think, you could be stuck with the likes of a nutjob like Kim Jong Il.

I've been following the production blog for the filming of Hamlet, and gosh, it sounds fantastic...and very tedious yet exciting, to film.

I thought the sword fight scene sounded wonderful, but from what I've read of the burial scene yesterday...WOW. The description sounded very intense, and I like the atmostphere they chose--or tried to chose, of an overcast gloomy day, very apropo, I'd say. They went with a hand-held camera for some of the agrument scene, between Hamlet (Tennant) and Laertes (Bennant), and normally I am not a huge fan of the handheld POV, but reflected on it, trying to picture the action in my mind's eye...it's been a while since I've read the play, so had to think about it. (OK, I confess: I actually had to go over to the bookshelf that holds my copies of various plays, to refresh my memory with my old copy of "Monarch Notes"!)

I will say, that upon further reflection, in this case, I agree with the blog author, that that the hand held may actually add more drama to the scene.

Of course, if I ever get to see this production, it won't be until next year sometime...and only then if I get out of the poverty level income bracket for a single adult in New York state, and actually make enough money to support my getting cable or sat television and also pay the extra (rather hefty) cost of getting BBC America....unless it crops up on Youtube, I suppose.

Still, as long and tedious the filming sounds (tho' they seem to have some excellent cuisine for lunch, nom-nom. ), it sounds as if everyone is really excited and charged to be there. I wish all of the cast, crew, director and the rest of the production team, all the best. I'm sure this film will be a big hit with everyone--and hopefully draw more people into Shakespeare's glorius world or wit, sorrow, adventure, insight and of course, those wonderful words.

I woke early and couldn't get back to sleep, so to pass the time, I made up another quiz, this time it's a Shakespeare trivia quiz.

Interested in testing your knowledge?

Go here: http://www.mystudiyo.com/ch/a89962/go/shakespeare_quiz

It's half-past two in the morning over here, and I'm still very much awake...damn, knew I shouldn't have had that second cup of coffee at work..but they got a new "premium" brand in, and dang, it was fabulous. I don't generally drink two cups in a row, so I reckon I'll have to stay away from the good stuff, now. Pity, that. Since seriously burning the bottom of my old stovetop tin coffee pot early last year, it's hard to get a really decent fresh brewed cup (I'm VERY picky about my coffee, if you must know).

But...have to watch the BP and all that palaver. It's been a tad high, last few weeks. I keep meaning to hit the sporting goods section at Walmarts to get a new coffee pot NO ONE makes old-fashioned put-in-on-the-cooker-to-boil coffee pots any more! You can't even get a plug-in perculator! Everything is posh kitchen gadgets..which drip coffee, rather than actually get down to the nitty-gritty and brew the beastie.

My health is gradually improving--or it seems so, thankfully. Fever's gone, jaw doesn't hurt quite so much--tho' the jaw's a bit less flexible than it could be, and I'm having just a wee bit of trouble properly enunciating words towards the end of my shift, which isn't great for someone who uses her voice for a living! but blood sugar is down, though, 132, which is in the acceptible (tho' barely) range for me.

There's some nice people at work, but they aren't the college grads that the company website says we all are. A girl behind me asked how to spell "Carolina" tonight, and yesterday, one of the young blokes--whom apparently has lived all his life in Glens Falls, NY, asked how to spell Manhattan---that's not good. How can one live in New York state for 20 years, and not know how to spell "Manhattan?" That's like someone say, from the Strathclyde region of Scotland, not knowing how to spell Glasgow!

It's pouring down rain, on and off here. I actually went grocery shopping at Hannaford at 1am. I got home from the office after 9pm, and my phone lost its charge, so I had to plug that in, and wait (and wait) for it to re-charge, so I could ring up a cab. Then, the rain starting coming down by the bucketful, so I waited another hour for it to let up...then, I came home and had a ready meal of turkey medallions in gravy and mashed potatoes--my appetite is crap again, I'd only had some eggs and toast today, around 1pm, and nothing else, and I wasn't even all that hungry tonight.

So....and here I am...ready to go to bed...with a suddenly stiff neck...that'll teach me to leave the window open on a chilly rainy evening, I reckon.

Noisy on the streets tonight...the police have been cracking down on drink drivers, so a lot of people, now that the weather is warmer, have taken to walking down to the South Street bars--there are always at least two or three bands playing in Glens Falls on Fridays and/or Saturday nights...and the loud drunks are strolling past pretty regularly, even when it's pissing down rain, tonight.

Speaking of bands, I read where the cast of Beatlemania will be appearing for the big Independece Day do, here in the city's baseball stadium, on the 3rd, with a "big" fireworks show to follow--tickets are only $3, and even with cab fare thrown in, that's pretty affordable...I have the 3rd, 4th and 5th off, as our office is shut for an extra day, this year...management decided that we wouldn't get many sales on 4th July weekend, so they're just shutting the office down for two days. Gosh, I've not been to a proper concert in years, and I've never seen Beatlemania, so I might just make the effort to get myself a ticket.

Well, off to bed with me...I can sleep as late as I want tomorrow--or rather, as late as I need to (baring any massive noise from the neighbours or the city public works department)...I don't have to be into work until 8pm. But then, I have to get up first thing Saturday morning to do it all over again, LOL.

I made a trivia quiz...I'll be posting a new quiz a few times a week.

This is my first quiz--I chose a subject I know quite well...cowboy gear. Other quizes will touch on a variety of subjects, so stay tuned to this blog.

I can't figure out how to imbed the quiz on this post, however, so if you want to try my quiz, you can do so on their website:

http://www.mystudiyo.com/ch/a89952/go

I was reading how this Italian woman on holiday, missed Flight 247 by being late getting to the airport. That of course as we all know, is the flight from Brazil which plunged into the sea with all aboard her lost.

Seems this woman and her hubby were driving down a road--still on holiday, apparently, when their car crossed the centre line and ran head-on into a truck, killing the woman.

Fate? Or just bad driving? Think my mum was right? I sure do!

So, I'm sitting here, taking a break in front of my 'puter, reading an interesting online article (about understanding Shakespearean language in contemporary terms), sipping a Fresca black cherry-citrus soda, when suddenly I feel a poke at my shoulder.

Flame was on the back of my chair--hadn't noticed, she doesn't weigh much...and she wanted attention, so she was reaching out with her paw and literally jabbing me in the shoulder ever few minutes...and so I complained, "WHAT?!?" in exasberation, and, still sitting against my shoulders, she craned her head around so her head was facing with an expression that clearly said, "You AREN'T paying attention to me, you are SUPPOSED to be petting me. I want petting NOW, please!"

Then, my little kitty got up on the tall bookcase next to my desk, and sat there staring at me, like a wee ginger lioness waiting for the right time to pounce on her prey...I smiled up at her, and Flame commenced to stretch out her arm and wave her paw at me, "Hi mum, aren't I being adorable today?"

Looks like we're missing the thunderstorms today--so far they've all been to our north, in the Tughill Plateau and high peaks region of the Adirondack mountains--the southern Adirondacks where I live seem to often be blessed to miss the worst of the weather, and a few in central and western New York atate, as well. It's merely overcast, mildly humid and breezy where I live, at the moment.--oh wait, spoke too soon, the sun's trying to come out, at last.

I hate my job, and going in tonight will seem like an evening of torture--I blogged about that today, but only to myself...no one wants to hear me rant and whinge about mean Americans, I'm sure...so, moving on...

My appetite is off, today. I had a late breakfast, but no lunch, so I'm likely going to be famished when I get out of work tonight. Oh well...I've lost almost 5 pounds in the last week or so, 'cos I've not felt much like eating--and of course, the hospital never really fed me either, last week, cos' of the fasting tests and stuff.

Someone told me that was great--not realizing apparently, that while losing weight is nice, but losing it from an illness, isn't necessarily a good thing?

I did all of one chore today--but damn it! Would you believe I missed the post office being open, AGAIN?? The post office where I went last time, closes between 1pm and 2.30pm for lunch. I went to a different post office today (in a different county), and that branch closes between 11.30 and 1.00 pm....arrrgh!!!!

It's like these part-time "boutique" business people, that shut their shop at 4 or 5pm nights and close early on Saturdays...they whinge that business was bad, but they have no intention of extending their business hours to accomodate customers who work week days and/or on Saturdays! It never occurs to these part-time entrepeners, that if they are working days and Saturdays--maybe many of their potential customers are doing that, as well. I've had to small business owners with limited shop hours, both whinging mightily at me, of late, that they're not getting customers in-- that's what promted me to write this.

Well, have to go do the nasty and get ready for telemarketing all night to a bunch of misery-guts...I don't have to wait to die, to know what purgatory would feel like.

Oh maaannn!

All I did, was write about a lovely little blog ( http://www.illuminationsmedia.co.uk/blog/index.cfm?start=1&news_id=349 ) I found regarding the filming of the RSC's Hamlet (which happens to feature David Tennant in the lead role)...and at the bottom of the page, I inserted that Tardisgurl e-mailed me, insisting that they were filming it somewhere called "Knoles House."

Wherever that is--outside of a 3 hour layover inside of Heathrow in 2004, I've never stepped foot in the UK--and as we all know by now, I don't have ANY connection with the (cough) sex-god known as David Tennant, and while I did do my emphasis in Liberal Arts at college on theater, alas, I don't work in that profession, but am merely a lowly, lowly telemarketer in a redneck little city no one's ever heard of, in northern NY state.

So, I cannot, and will not, make any claims about where the hell this thing is being filmed--and even if I knew, I would NOT post it publicly, as the last thing I'd want to do is risk disrupting the production with loads of overly enthusiastic fan-girls, who think that respect for other's personal space, or simple common courtesy towards people just trying to do their jobs, doesn't apply to them, cos they're "fans."

Anyway, where all this going, is that I've seem to have started a fan-girl war over where this movie is being shot...jeez. Is it really all that important? Well, I guess it is, to some fans.

So, Tardisgurl says "Knole House," Now I've gotten TWO other rather insistant (aka: rude little know-it-all's) messages coming at me from two other "fans", one stating (rather rudely) that Tardisgurl is wrong, and that they're filming in Befordshire (I WON'T post the name of the place, sorry)...and yet another girl or boy, telling me that they're filming in Kent (again, not going to post the location given)....now, one of these may be absolutely correct...certainly, out curiosity I looked at the two buildings named, and either of them would work well--especially the BFS one....but really, DON'T send me any more e-mails, comments, PM's, etc... about this, yeah?

I am enjoying finding out more about production of a play for film, but I'm NOT doing it 'cos of David Tennant, yeah?

I'm doing it for my own personal enjoyment, so let's drop the whole "Where in the world is David Tennant?" crap, OK?

He's a grown man, with a life of his own--probably a very rich and full and happy life--the man will go his road, and I am on my road, and never the twain shall meet, as they say...so, please fan-girls, stop believing that every aspect of Tennant's life is important to me...it's not. I have had quite a life of my own, thanks. I don't need to live vicariously through someone elses!

I've been trying to find another job, with zero luck...well, being shipped via ambulance to hospital last week, kind of put a damper on my job search...didn't help my bill paying, either, as now I'll be hard-pressed to pay my electric bill on time...and, being out of work for 2 1/2 days without pay, I won't have a single penny extra to spend for the next two to three weeks, hell, I'll be lucky to have spare funds for cat food and bin bags! I may end up shampooing with dish washing soap, no joke.

Meh, I'll be fine, no worries. I've had it loads worse than this, heaven knows.

Still, being out on Thursay was tough for another reason--I'd set aside last Thursday to devote to searching for a summer job (mid-June to 1st weekend Sept.) in the local tourism industry....guess that will be put off for a while, while I recover. Damn!

I had posted an advert on Craigslist, under the "Albany" jobs wanted page---(there's no listings for my part of NY state)...and all I've gotten for my troubles are a bunch of internet scam artists, trying to sell me work-at-home rip off schemes.

It sucks when you don't feel you have any value in society...I mean, my employers only keep me on, cos' then they have such a high turnover, and would have to spend a half a day (used to be 3 days when I started 2 1/2 years ago) training someone new. Seriously! I have no worth, and it feels lousy. It's not as crushing as when you're out of work, and out there every day (even on the day of mum's funeral in my case) desperately searching for jobs, and no one will hire you (or even call you for an interview) for months on end. That really makes you feel like pond scum. Still, knowing I want to feel useful and needed, and I haven't felt that way in a long, long time.

Problem is, I need change, I know I need a change--but, life's beaten me up so badly, these last few years, I am afaid to stop cowering long enough to even look up, any more....picture this: A bully was slamming your face onto the floor all the time, yet you kept picking yourself up and trying to fight back...but then one day, you got hit hard one time too many, and you decided that the floor is actually rather comfy, really.

That's what happened to me, last year, when I was sick and coldn't work flat out any longer, when social security disability was dragging their feet for months, and National grid was threatening (in mid-winter when the temps were averaging -20 C) to shut off my gas and electric, and I was 2 weeks away from being homeless (again)....I shut down. I quit. I don't want to hope, I don't want to think of a future and I don't want to try anymore. And if no one can understand that, fine. So be it. All I ask is that people accept that this IS the way I feel...at least for now.

I don't know what next year will bring--more of the same, worse, or the "H" word (hope..don't use that word around me, though).

I got a comment on my wordpress blog last night--deleted it, of course. Strangely enough, it was a comment about THIS blog! That's a bit strange...actually, the internet just keeps getting weirder all the time, of late.

Several days ago, I made an off-hand post about how weird I think people are, who want to read Dr Who porn, and gooogle for porn with all the companions and one person recently came onto my "Perfect 10" fan fic blog, looking for "Donna Noble rape"...ewwww. That's just....ewwww.

So, I blogged about it, but, the thing is, I didn't in the slightest way, suggest that all Dr Who fiction readers were pervs--never even thought that, truth-to-tell.

Anyway, some "fans" have taken exception to my opinion of the Who pervs, and one wrote me tonight, with the express purpose of telling me that my Perfect 10 Dr Who fan fiction blog site is being boycotted via Twitter...I always said Twitter had too many twats, this pretty much proves it.

Like, I should care???

Jeez, what a waste of time that would be! Mainly, that blog is just for ME. It's just there 'cos I don't trust computers to save stuff, and this way it's always there. If I wanted to feed my ego, and was eager to have people read my work, would I have posted my Dr Who fan fiction on the internet's most UNKNOWN fan-fiction blog?

Really, I write these stories just for me. I've had all of 8 people comment on the stories in the last 12 months...and that's fine. I'm not one of these egotistical prissy and immature fan-fic writers, who demand comments from their readers.

I'm always gobsmacked at nice comments, don't get me wrong! Yet, that's just frosting on the cake...it's the making of the cake that interests me...afterwards--well, people reading it is always nice, but not necessary. I don't have much of an ego--or much confidence-- any more as a writer...I lost that a couple of years ago...and, really, that's absolutely fine. I write partly out of habit, and partlyo ut of the sheer joy of making words come together on a page, to hopefully tell a decent story, or convey my honest feelings, or to paint images with words.

I mean, seriously: this blog's been out there for one whole year now, and in that time, the most visits I got in one day, was something like 40...and most days, I only average 0 to 20 visitors...so...what the hell is the point of having a hissy fit and telling people to stay away from a blog, that--people don't visit, anyway???

Silly little fans

Meh-- these people aren't REAL Dr Who fans, anyway, they're temporary fans--they aren't really interested in the writing/effects/acting, so much as they are in the shallow soap opera romance/ eye-candy crap...they'll go away after David Tennant's been gone for a year or so, I'm thinking, and leave the real fans who truly love the programme--and the children whom the show is mainly for of course, to Dr Who.

Anyway....I don't know if this comment was serious, or if some overly enthusiastic fan was merely taking the mickey out of me...Ok, maybe boycotting me makes them feel better, but it really seems rather silly. But, hey, whatever turns those twee littl Who pervs on, I reckon...I honestly don't care. It'll probably last about a week, if that...and even if I never get another visitor to Perfect Ten again....what's the loss?

By the way, this is the second time I've been told by irate (and I suspect largely adolecsent) Dr Who/David Tennant fans my blog would be boycotted--newsflash: I don't care! Jeez, rude buggers on the internet....sometimes I wish their electricity would go off, then they'd have to deal with the real world...scary stuff.

I've only rarely been to the seaside. Probably can count the times I've seen the ocean/sea in the last 48 years, on the fingers of one hand.

But, I've seen the sea of the sky, oh so many, many times.

The vast blue expanse of the celestial sphere over my head, clouds like whitecaps bobbing through it. And in summer, the trees add their own sound effect: crashing and falling against the shores of the crystal vault of the heavens, rustling leaves sounding like water rushing against the pepples of an invisible shore.

Walking beneath the spreading arms of trees, their emerald canopy swaying in the breeze, is like hearing the timeless beat of life, upon nature's eternal shores.

This looked like an easy one--but truthfully, I deleted those questions I thought too rude or personal, or that simply wouldn't apply to me.

Yes or no meme:
_____________________________________________________________

Kissed any one of your blog friends? --- No
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- No
Slept in until 5 PM? --- No
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- No
Held a snake? ---Yes
Ran a red light? --- Yes
Experienced love at first sight? --- No
Totaled your car in an accident? --- Yes
Sang karaoke? --- No
Pointed a gun at someone? --- No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- Yes.
Laughed until something you were drinking or eating came out your nose? --- YES
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes
Had a close brush with death --- Yes
Played spin-the-bottle? --- No
Sang in the shower? --- YES
Smoked a cigar? ---No
Sat on a rooftop? --- Yes
Smuggled something into another country? --- No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- No
Broken a bone? --- YES
Skipped school? --- Yes
Sleepwalked? --- NO
Walked a moonlit beach? --- No
Rode a motorcycle? --- No
Dumped someone? --- Yes
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- NO
Ridden on a helicopter? --- NO
Shaved your head? --- NO
Played a prank on someone? --- YES
Hit a home run? -- NO
Felt like killing someone? --- No
Cross-dressed? --- Yes
Been falling-down drunk? --- NO
Eaten snake? --- NO
Marched/Protested? --- Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- NO
Puked on amusement ride? --- No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- YES
Been in a band? --- NO
Knitted? --- No
Been on TV? --- Yes
Shot a gun? --- Yes
Skinny-dipped? --- NO
Gave someone stitches? --- NO
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? --- NO
Ridden a surfboard? --- NO
Had surgery? ---Yes
Streaked? --- NO
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- Yes
Tripped on mushrooms? --- NO
Donated Blood? --- yes
Grabbed electric fence? --- Yes
Eaten alligator meat? --- No
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- Yes
Written graffiti? --- No
Think about the future? --- No
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- YES

DOCTOR WHO TAKES A MOMENT TO COP A FEEL, BETWEEN HIS TRIPS IN THE TARDIS...

Sorry I ACCIDENTALLY mis-pronouced your name. I had no idea, before I rang you up tonight, what a massive asshole you were...thanks for letting me know.

And thanks for helping me to make my point, that so-called "Normal" Americans have turned into total fu_kwits and insane illmannered nutjobs, who have become so bonkers, that you can't even handle someone with an effing BAD EYE accidently mis-reading, and then mis-pronouncing your name....maybe you should take off your clothing, and go stand in a barn somewhere, chewing your cud and pooing on the floor?

I hope you enjoyed screaming at me like a prostitue who got stiffed by a stiffless john....it left one helluva impression about you on me, a total stranger...and it wasn't a very good one, obviousuly.

Well, Mrs. Bartelli--oops, there I go again, mis-doing your last fu_king name, sorry--erm, you're not going to go freaky again, and shoot me, are you? That is what fu_kwits of limited intelligence in Montana do, isn't it? Shoot people because you're effing bonkers?

(There, NOW I feel much better!) Have I mentioned that I HATE my job...and America?

Well, time to prepare for my nightly journey into the salt mines--or rather the 3rd floor "boiler room" that passes for an office.

I dread it, really I do. Most of the people I am forced to deal with are such mean little buggers...damn, the Taliban could take lessons from these ill-mannered boors.

Although, I did spend an interesting 12 minutes on the phone with an 87 year old ex-Navy man, who fought in WWII and North Korea, and had some interesting stories to tell...calls like that are pretty much the only good part of my day, and they don't happen very often, alas, only once or twice a week, if even that. He didn't buy anything from me though, and I don't suppose managment would appreciate that I helped an old veteran feel less lonely...only that I didn't get any of his pension cash.

Traffic on the street outside (state route 9) has been unusually heavy, and I'm left to wonder if there has been a traffic accident on the I-87 motorway, or some seriious road construction, somewhere. It's been backed up four or five streets north from the Washington/Glen/Sherman traffic light, pretty much all afternoon--even now.

Well, have to shower and change into fresh clothes...thought I'd go a bit flash today...wear my good black designer jeans with my burgundy and white Carribbean Joe Hawaiian shirt. No cowgirl or country casual for me today...hey, everyone needs a change, now and again.

Speaking of changes, I have to try and get to Walmart for a haircut, when I go to re-charge my phone card. I'm leaning towards the uncurried Shetland pony look again, I fear.

Have a good night all, cheers!

Washington County, NY officials--seized an abandoned home for non-payment of taxes recently, with a plan to auction if off. The owner has until 12th June to pay the taxes and buy the home back. However, the county has no clear idea who actually owns the home.

Thing is, when they went to inspect the property the other day--they found about 40 cats and a dog, living in the home. Apparently someone has left them food (no note of whether these animals are being provided with water, or if the food being given to them, is adequate)...so the county is leaving the animals there, refusing to remove them.

The animals are being left as they are in the Easton, NY home, on the premise that "they must belong to someone," and it's not the county's problem. "We aren't going to clean up the place, it's not our (responsibility), we sell all these homes just as they are"...(but)"it's going to hurt" (the resale value).

The county says they will only remove the cats and dog, when a sale is pending, as they "cannot sell a house full of cats."

In addition to the 40+ cats and dog, 2 guns were also found abandoned in the house on Old Schuylerville Road. State police say animal cruelty charges may be pending against the undisclosed owner of the home, and they are investigating the guns, as well, to make sure they are legal.

Out of a combination of curiosity and a passion for the workings of that curious mixture of theater and video production, that's part of the RSC/Illuminations Hamlet filming, I've sort of been following the productions' blog.

Seems that, after a long rehearsal with the sword-fighting expert, expected to be done in blocks, RSC director Greg Doran decided to do the whole shooting match in one go....and I take it that wasn't a simple thing to ask the actors to do....well, they not only did it, it seems, but did it perfectly and with sytle and flair and realism....to the point were the crew, whom had been glued to the fight, applauded when the director said, "cut!"

So, it looks like this will be quite an amazing video, and I for one am praying that one day I will get to see it. I'd much rather see a live production--but that's pretty much impossible in my circumstances--even the few performances of Shakespeare in my area over the course of the year, are way out in the rural areas, off a bus route and far too costly for a cab. I've only seen a handful of Shakepeare videos--Twelfth Night, Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet and Midsummer's Night Dream, and one performance live: MacBeth.

The only formal study I've ever done of Shakepeare is 2 weeks in June/July of 2004 in a make up class that was a requirement for my communications major (World Literature). I'd had to take a semester off following the sudden death of my dad, and my mum's worsening of her kidney failure--requiring her to spend longer time in dialysis and in hosptial, as well...so I spent much of that hot summer, communting five days aa week the 50+ miles (which is nothing, in the USA where folks think nothing of driving 13 hours over three states, non-stop)--going from my trailer home in here in New York's southern Adirondacks, over mostly two-lane rural roads, to my college in Vermont--but I had to, in order to make up some classes. Sitting in a baking, stuffy classroom for three hours studying classical literature might not appeal to some, but I largely enjoyed it, I have to admit...it was lovely learning all about Hamlet and delving into the physcological aspects of it---I even got an A on my Hamlet essay!

In hindsight, I realize it was probably good for me, really. Being kept busy with negative stuff, was off-set with being kept busy with stuff I throughly enjoyed.

I read where the RSC is having a Twitter "Hamlet Plot Challenge." I wouldn't dare try that. I've come to love Shakespeare...I really do love the power and magic of his words...and the characters, as well....but, realistically, when it comes to Shakespeare, I'm just a mewling infant...I know nothing...I'm an idiot whistling in a windstorm...and, as many of you who read me regularly know, I've utterly lost any and all cofidence in myself as a writer or whatever. I don't even write my Dr Who fics any more. I just don't care enough about myself anymore, I guess...and that's fine. I think it's not a bad thing to acknowlege the reality of who you really are.

Well, this is getting morose. Think I'd better stop now. Anyway...really enjoying reading that production blog, and panting to see Hamlet--David Tennant be damned (oooh, did I just say something sacreligious to Tennant fan-girls? Gee, what a shame)...really tho', even with a cast totally unknown to me--which 80% of them are---I'd still be panting to see this production...it sounds just that wonderful.

THIS JUST IN, FAN-GIRLS....I just got an e-mail from Tardisgurl, that rumour has it they are filming in someplace in the UK called Knole House--PLEASE don't take this as fact though! I have NO CLUE if this is true! And quite frankly, my dear Scarlet--erm, fan-girls, I don't give a damn.

Hello all,

Feeling somewhat better today. No fever, and a bit more rested than I've been the last week or so...still tired, but not laid flat out, like I've been, the last several days. Perhaps I'm finally a bit more on the mend.

Had chores I needed to go out and do today, but as the afternoon wears on, they seem less and less likely. I've been watching the buses, and they are running very slow and far-between today, for some reason of GFGT's own doing. Rotten bus company.

Flame has been miserable to her half-brother Charlie for the last couple of days, walks up to him casually, then without provocation or warning, smacks him with her paw, and spits at him--and he's not even doing anything, just sitting around, minding his own business...she's really cranky...even hissed at me. Not sure what's setting her off. She doesn't appear unwell...her eyes are clear, coat's shiny, appetite is good. Like most cats, with the changing seasons she's got hairballs sometimes--which upsets her more than the boys...but I'm thinking my being away for a day and a half in hospital, seriously upset her, somehow.

Since I burnt breakfast, and it's after noon-time, I've popped in a frozen pot pie for lunch. Other than that, there's not much going on here...just another dull day in my totally meaningless life. I suppose, if I don't go out, I could always hoover the vestibule--that's sort of a pain, 'cos I gotta' drag out the long 60 foot extention cord, 'cos there's no outlets in the vestibule...and I've no clue where I've put the blasted thing...haven't needed it since I took down the Christmas lights...I'm sure it's packed away in one of my five or six boxes in the closet...bother.

I really miss college, I miss having a purpose to my life, being needed for something. A trained monkey could do my job...trust me....I think we have a few in my office. Sat next to a guy last night, who--while TALKING on the phones, mind you--scarfed down a bag of Ruffles chips (crisps) in about 30 seconds flat, crunching in the customer's ear, no kidding--then, after the call ended, holding the open bag to his mouth to chug down the last of the crumbs...it was not pleasant to watch or listen to. (I had to watch, cos my computer was facing his...and listen, cos he was only 2 feet away from me.) Then, he scarfed down a cupcake, after which, he gulped down a whole half-bottle of Pepsi. Lovely.

Yeah, and the management didn't tell underpants boy, to pull up his trousers or get out--they just told him to wear a longer shirt--which still rides up unhappy regularity, to reveal to those of us ladies, who don't particularly want to see it, his boxer shorts du jour. Yesterday, when he bend over to tie his shoe in the lift, I noted that the kid's underpants du jour were red with white hearts.

I'd give anything to work for a professional company...is there any of those left out there???

Jeez, I almost set my flat on fire! I put some bacon on, for a bacon sandwich, and then had to suddenly...well...hit the loo. And, I left the bacon on...doh.

Next thing I know, the bath is filling with smoke, and when I run to the cooker, the bacon is basically black, charred and mostly ditentigrated.....another minute and the pan would have caught fire...and I haven't a clue what I did with the kitchen extinguisher..all's well, though. I slammed a lid on the skillet, ran over to the sink, dropped it in, removed the lid and turned the water on--maybe not smart with hot grease, but I had to do something...anyway the water hitting it, caused more smoke to waft through the kitchen...I opened the window a crack (that's all it will go), and hopefully, I can still have my bacon roll later.

Cripes! Now I have another reason to hate the state of my centuries-old genealogical, patriotic and political heritage: Babies running the state!

Yeah, wee tots run New York, I'm afraid. This latest news out of our capital of Albany, both shames and sickens me to no end, let me tell you...and makes me want to stop voting--FOREVER.

I'm a democrat, but after hearing this news, I'm fed up with liberal politics--I already thoroughly dislike conservatives...so I have basically no place left to go with my vote, any longer.

Now, in the recent past, our elected governor had to quit, cos' he was a coke-head, and got caught--more than once, apparently, getting a leg over with a prostitute. A repeat customer, no less. So, out with him.

His replacement, Lt. Gov. Patterson, has the lowest approval rating of any governor in living memory. A lame duck who has no control over the state's legislature and/or senate, and whose proposals of late, have been nothing short of daft: a tax on companies who allow state residents to download music, a tax on sugared softdrinks ("obesity tax"), cuts to healthcare--amid promises to provide more health care...talk about a mixed message! Oh, and pay raises for party faithful, amid the state's worst economy since the Great Depression.

Now, this latest news, is just...boggling.

OK, here's how this tune plays, and you tell me if this isn't totally childish and tempermental, and worth being ashamed of:

A billionare from the western part of New York, donated millions to the democratic campaign, to help the democrats wrest power from the republicans at the capit