Where does the Queen keep her armies?

Up her sleevey's.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Nothing, he wouldn't come when you called, anyway.

What do you call a cow that has just had a calf?

Decalfinated.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Adolf
Adolf who?
Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat’s why I dawk dis way.