I hadn't intended on it, but left work a half-hour early today. Couldn't take it any more--you see, we're to get a snow storm again tomorrow, and this one must be a hum-dinger, 'cos my arthritis is playing hell in spots it doesn't normally bother me--in this case, my left hip and far lower right side of my back...the back is being especially bothersome today, a squeezing, throbbing pain internally. It's nothing, really. More irritating than debilitating, still, there was this one woman, and all she did--I mean, literally all she did, was pop up and down in her seat all afternoon long, about once every 15 minutes--and every-single-flippin-time she had to barge into the back of my chair going by...BLINKING HELL.
I was really getting ticked off, I have to tell you. Besides hurting me, it distracted my concetration on my sales pitch--I'd actually have to look at the script to see where the hell I was! After about the umpteeth time she did it, I just said to hell with it, and told them I was going home--means I have to work an extra half-hour tomorrow, but who cares...wasn't making any sales anyway.
I don't know why they keep me on there, I totally SUCK as a sales person. I hate selling with a passion. Well, I guess I probably suck at everything. At least, that's how I feel. The only thing I'm good for is cleaning toilets and folding towels, mucking out stables and running amusement park rides....what the hell was I thinking, going back to college? I'm all chav and not very smart to boot. How the hell I ever got straight A's for a couple of semesters, I have no clue...easy classes, I suppose, or easy teachers, maybe.
I went for my phycological evaluation for ascertaining whether I can continue on disability benefits today. In a half hour, what can this guy know about me? I had to do some memory tests--and stuff with numbers, and the shrink picked up right off the bat that I had a math disability...never thought it was that obvious...most people just think I'm stupid...and, maybe I am. I don't know. I had to talk about things I really don't like to talk about, things I haven't talked about on this blog, or maybe only just hinted at...the dark sides of my life. I had to talk about how I'm turning into puree of bat guano of late, as well as what medical ailments I have, and how I am taking care of myself...not very well, if you must know.
Altogether, I'm not in a very cheery mood right now. Christmas blues again? Or, am I just being "me?" I dunno'.
I wish I could be with someone this Christmas, I don't want to spend yet another Christmas alone--this will be my forth such holiday in that condition. But, that's a pipe dream. My sister doesn't do Christmas--against her new religion, you see. Meh--it'll be okay, I've had a hell of a lot worse holidays than I've had this year, that's for sure, and it's really churlish of me to complain about something like that, I suppose...and, there's always my lovely cats, bless them.
So, tomorrow I have to turn in my Christmas week schedule...we get Christmas day off, but have to make up the missed time at work, so I have to work my day or days off, to make up for having Thursday off. Sucks, but then, nothing in life is fair, if it were, we wouldn't have wars and hunger and cancer, would we?