I've been truly blessed to meet some outstandingly fantastic human beings, through the internet--some have even gone on to be my best friends. Still...more often than not, people are mean to me...why?

Well, I have come to firmly belive that that's what I bring out in people. I SUCK as a human being....some people just haven't seen that side of me yet, I reckon...cos if they did, they'd leave me in a heartbeat.

You know, I pretty much grew up being picked on and teased--and even physically hurt, for no other reason than I was fat, ugly, and sometimes a bit slow.

You'd think I'd get used to people being rude and/or mean to me...but you know what? I'm not. It hurts just as much at 48, as it did at 8 or 18 or 28.

Still, I'm stuck in job, where I have to deal with rude, obnoxious mean Americans, every damned day.

Then, I blog--not here, but on Absolute Radio's website, and it I get nailed with rude comments from walking livestock on there, as well!

And, because I blogged about it, to vent my anger and frustration and pain, rather than hold it in, now I've made people mad--even after I got rid of the offending post!

Life sucks and then you die, and if you're really lucky, you won't grow old.

I know this is a pathetic whinge on my part, but sometimes, I really get so sick of people being mean to me. I never thought I'd hear myself say this--it's my second-worse nightmare, but..I want to be put away. No, really. I want to be institutionalized (sectioned, if you will), cos I just don't really want to be in this place I'm in any more, and for the first time in my life, I just don't have the will to fight my way out of it. I just want to just let go of trying to live a "normal" life on my own, and just blow it off. I don't want to be alone anymore. Three years...that's my limit, I guess....it's only three years...and I have (barring illness or accident) whole decades of this, ahead of me. That's more daunting than ANY of you can even fathom.