Worked a few hours on the night shift, came out the door of the office building, and what happens? The bus roars by! Or, as I said under my breath, the bucking fuss. So, a good 40 minute wait for the next one, so I went home, grabbed my shopping bags--which I'd forgotten to take with me (the grocery store I went to, gives you 10 off your bill, for each of your own shopping bags that you use--so I saved 40 cents that way...and helped the environment, too, of course.

However, I found that it cost me one dollar at the store, to cash the two dollar and six cent check that Medicaid sent me.

My landlord reassured me that they believe me about the roaches and the smell and other things the neighbours have been blaming on me--apparently, one of them even tried to fob off the cat beer smell and the cat pee smell in the hall on me--which frosts my britches, 'cos I don't drink beer (not my favourite beverage in the world) and my cats NEVER leave the apartment...the few times Charlie has wandered out into the hall--out of curiosity, he's turned tail and trotted back inside when I ordered him to. He's a good lad, my Bonnie Prince Charlie. He even let me Hoover him again, yesterday (poor guy is shedding like mad with the change of weather).

I was sitting on the porch waiting for my bus, when a cop drove by, slowed down and gave me the once over. Lovely. I though he might stop and question me, the way he looked, but he just went on. Seems the city police will be watching the "undesirables" in my building now--nice how I've come down in the world, where I can't sit on building's front steps without being watched by the police. I suppose on the flip side of the coin, I should be thankful they are there--but, sorry, it makes me sad, knowing that's the kind of neighbourhood I live in, now. 3 years ago I lived in a place where I never had to lock my doors...now this. Sad.

The traffic was all tied up, up the road. The city police and the county sheriff's are doing a road block check--setting up a corridor of police in the middle of the road, both ways, checking for drink drivers, drugs users, expired New York State inspection and/or vehicle registration stickers, cracked windscreens, bald tyres, broken headlamps and tail lights, making sure people are observing the seatbelt, mobile phone, and child safety seat laws...they do this about once ever few months, in various locations. The city just passed a very unpopular law which now bans smoking inside cabs within city limits--ridiclous! I know it bothers some people, but with my having a dad who massively smoked Pall Mall's for years and years--his lifelong nickname was "smokey", I figure the damage has already been done to me, so why kick about smoke in a cab--where one can usually open a window?

Dinner is a cheap frozen pizza. I HAVE to have that pork chop tomorrow, before it turns. Want it, but too, too beat to cook tonight. Too tired to even make a ham and cheese sandwich. I'm going to shower and hit the sack early. I'm almost too tired to eat, truth to tell. I feel really wrung out, and have a deep throbbing pain in the area of my right kidney, at the moment, which is making me even more tired.

I cut my front bangs tonight. The Shetland pony look is all well and fine for David Tennant, but it's not my cup of tea. So, I grabbed the kitchen shears and took a stab (not literally, of course) at making it a bit neater--not exactly a straight cut, but...meh, close enough. Wish I was good enough to do my sides, as well. But a haircut isn't in the budget. As it is, my plans to have a day out, next holiday weekend, may be a bust. We'll see. After nearly a whole year of almost total confinement in this little apartment, I really wanted to get out and about a bit more, this summer, but at least I can still get in some swim time, for one more week--figures, I finally find my swimsuit, and there's only one more week left to the summer season up here. Sod's law. Still, it's only $2 to go to the beach and back, think I can manage that, perhaps. Not that I'm a beach type of person, but I can always take my lunch with me, go to a nearby park afterwards, and sit and watch the carriage horses clop by, and see the boats out on the lake.

I will keep trying stuff to fix the 'puter for a little while longer--but it seems the more I try to fix it, the worse it gets--I'm so devastated over the loss of my sound! Thanks to a dear friend, I still have the portable DVD player...but, losing my realpayer--meaning a big chunk of my Dr Who DVD's (which only play on the 'puter for some reason), I'm just shattered, really I am. Music is such a big thing for me--lifts my spirits, inspires me when I'm writing, makes the time go by faster. The Dr Who DVD's always made me feel better, and also gave me a needed lift.

But, I realized that the way all this stress and loss was making me feel, was worse than just not using a computer at all, any more...which is bad, for me, being totally isolated from the world and my friends. Only someone who has been alone, will truly know what I'm talking about, I suppose. I find over and over, that most human beings have little circles they belong to--don't even realize they have them, unawares, they take it for granted that EVERYONE has these circles of friends, family co-workers. I mean "circles" in the physical sense...people physically "there" in your life. Not everyone has this, but time after time, I come against people who just don't "get" it, not at all--it's like it's totally beyond their ken!

Well, have to try and finish supper. Want to blog some things..have to think about what, I suppose. Have a good Saturday everyone. xx