I Ain't Afraid of No Daleks

I just heard a reporter on the news, say "The war in Iraq..."

Now, answer me this, HOW can we have a "war" in Iraq, when President Bush stood on a battleship in the Gulf several years ago, and with great fan-fare delcared that we'd WON the Iraq War?

Pardon me for having a BRAIN, but when you win a war, doesn't that historically mean (as in for the last several thousand years at least) that the blinking war is over?

Call it a police action, call it a mopping up operation, call it a bunch of yobbos with guns, but it ain't a war, sweetknees.

God, Americans have to be the absolute stupidest people on the planet--and what's really scary is that we are morons with GUNS.

I really wanna' be Glaswegan....that's my new goal in life. Or, maybe..Icelandic.

I just saw a woman walking down the street in a posh evening gown--in broad daylight. Huh.

In Glens Falls.

Hmmmm---

Beats me...

I was moving some of my late mum's boxes (mostly filled with her genealogy papers) around, when I saw what looked like an old notebook page with my handwriting on it....I opened it up, and it was a faded poem I'd written--God only knows when. I don't ever remember writing it, tho' it is in my handwriting, and sounds like something I might have written in my youth.

It was stuck behind some papers in a folder. The date on the folder was 1982, but the poem looks much older than that--besides, I'd pretty much stopped writing poetry around my late teens--say 18 or 19 or so, and didn't start again until about ten years later. I'm guessing I may have written this around '76 or '77, as that was when I was first truly getting into the whole John Denver fan-girl, trancendentalist, tree-hugger thing.

The ink is faded and the paper waterstained (possible from a leak in the roof or cellar?) and it's hard to read some of it, but here's what I wrote---mind you, fair warning here, it's pretty horrid. Well, I think it is--tho' mum must have liked it, I suppose.

PS, I added the punctuation, but otherwise am posting it as written.

(UNTITLED)

As the snow falls down,
Down, down, down
On the forest and the town,
And, somewhere in the night, a train rumbles by,
I long to be under the swaying pines, singing.

To run with the river,
To soar with the hawk and fly with the wind,
To dance with the sun,
To call the earth a friend, and
Be one with all of them.

What lies beyond the stars,
Is our last great mystery,
What lies in the hearts of nature and ourselves,
Is there for us alone to find.

Afternoon, all.

Well, guess Lydia agreed with me about my play. Problem is, I'm not exactly an intellectual. I'm a bit...shallow, I suppose, or at the very least rather naive and simplistic. Don't belive that I have much of an immagination, either, if you were to ask me. So writing a "deeply touching" piece is a bit beyond my abilities. Or, at least I think it probably is. But, I am trying with this piece...not very successfully, I feel. I deleted it from my blog. Too embarrassing--OK, no. Too humiliating. That's the right word.

True, I've known a lot of emotional pain, loss and rejection. Yet, I truly have no clue about relationships, love, belonging.

If thought is the key to humanity, then emotion is the welcome mat at the front door of humanity's collective soul. At least, that's my belief.

Unfortunately for me, like with my try at acting--a rather pathetic try, at that--often when I write an origninal story--whether it's Dr Who fan fiction, or a play, I cannot seem to open my internal Pandora's box. I sometimes do, on this blog, but when I want to translate that, those elusive deeper feelings and issues, into a fictional character(s)---I bog down...I pull up short and shy away, like a high-strung thoroughbred having a gun go off in its face.

Nice. Not.

Yeah, the guy I yelled at who threatened to hit the his girlfriend, apologized to me today---but then ruined it by telling me that his girlfriend was "a whacked out bi-polar freak," who "needed to be slapped around sometimes, ya'know? (ha-ha)"

Yeah sunshine, you hit her in my presence, I won't be slapping you, I'll be planting my steel-toed boot in a very uncomfortable spot.

Well, really I'd just call the cops--and act as a witness. What a miserable low-life coward! THIS is why we need to bring back the draft--these scumbags want to hurt something, let 'em fight for real. 'Course it would probably cost the army a fortune in supplying them with clean pants all the time.

Well, lost a couple more friends, feel bad, but I'm used to that--it's something I got used to long ago...makes me sad, but nothing I can do but just move on. Doesn't do much for my ego, but then, I've not much of an ego any longer, anyway, so what the heck?

It sort of burns me when I talk to these retirees and unemployed people on the phone that whinge at me that they're reduced to living on 20 or 25 thousand dollars a year...CRIPE!!! If you can't live on that much, what the hell would you do if you had to live on my income of under 12 thousand a year? Hell, for part of 2006, my income was less than 700 dollars a month--what would have amounted to a bit over $6500 a year!

In fact, I've talked to disabled and senior Americans who live on as little as $5000 a year! If you can call that living--it really makes me want to happy slap someone who moans about making more than I have have earned. For a "united" country, I've found that we have become surprisingly isolated from each other.

The newly instated Gov. Patterson (who was Lt. Gov. but replaced Gov. Spitzer who was forced to resign over a call-girl scandal), has officially declared the state (incl the city) of New York in recession. Oh, whoop-de-do, as if we didn't know that already.

New York is presently suffering from a "mammoth collapse of revenue." Our state's banking reserve dropped from 179 million dollars in 2007, to just 5 million dollars, a year later. Gee, I wonder why? Could it be the CREDIT CRISIS? Could it be the state refusing to acknowledge last year that we were heading for a RECESSION? Could it be...SATAN???

He has called for a hiring freeze--yeah, let's not hire any unemployed people, that'll help the economy---and massive spending cuts.

They are looking at cutting--to start with, 900 million dollars from the executive and legislative budgets--oh yeah, I'm sure the state senators and legislators will really go for that, uh-huh. They refused to address the cuts earlier this year, what makes Patterson think they'll cut their own budgets now? Because he "officially" declared a recession?

The newly installed Patterson also created a tiff between him and legislators, when he said publicly that while the state was in crisis, legislators "were on vacation."

He backed up later, with an apology, saying he knew that many of them were actually in their home districts, seeing to the needs of their constituants. And said that he wouldn't be at odds with his underlings--bit late for that, meathead.

I love it when the girl/boy doll goes "What's it matter if you're a bit of both?" to the Dalek! What a hoot!

Slightly annoying video (well, to an old maid), but still a hoot. Note the colourful use of language--nice going mum and dad, you taught them to swear rather young, didn't you?

When I swore at that age, I got my mouth washed out with soap-didn't swear again until my late 20's (one of the hazards of being employed at a muffler shop 6 days a week for a whole year).

BEST THING ABOUT PETS:

IF YOU LOVE THEM, THEY'LL LOVE YOU BACK--UNCONDITINALLY.

I'm still very bleary-eyed. Tried to go to bed early last night, but could not sleep for the life of me, so I got up and fiddled around on the 'puter a bit. Finally dropped off around half-past two, but felt unwell, and woke up at 6am--went back to bed at 7am...and here I am at 9am, feeling like rubbish, but ready to tackle the day...erm--sort of.

Not that it matters, I guess. Just another day.

Yeah, still depressed. Why does that bother people? Funny how people are understanding when someone has a bad cold, but the minute you say, "I'm depressed," they run like a bunch of wild turkeys during hunting season.

I guess 'cos people all get colds, but only a few of us suffer from depression...and colds are much more visible and easy to grasp, I recokon. Hard to put a handle on depression, 'cos it's inside one's brain.

So, McCain is calling Obama a "celebrity," and the Obama camp is essentially calling McCain and old fart...na-na-na, and yer mutha' wears army boots, so there!

Oh God...the republicans are at it again..."the economy is improving..." "Don't forget we had those rebate checks..." Hint-hint-wink-and-a-nudge, as in: "hey, we just gave nearly everyone 200 to 900 dollars, so you'll think we're really a great political party and you'll vote for us and forget that we've just f_cked up the country and the entire blinking world with our false war, bad economic policies, health and education cuts, our dictatorial quest for global domination and failure to address gloabal warming and other vital environmental issues.,.but hey, we gave you a rebate on your taxes so SHUT UP and be grateful."

Oh, and Bush says we're making splendid progress in Iraq---and, this would be the same president that stood on a battleship in the Gulf and declared "victory" shortly after the invasion? Riiiight....

Oh, what I wouldn't give to be Glaswegan.

Hey, but at least the cops didn't wake me up this morning, pounding on the neighbour's door at five am, that's something anyway.

Tho' the neighbours did have a huge fight outside right under my windows last night...I just turned on the radio and ignored them.

And, they moved that stinking shopping trolley from out of the downstairs hallway--and all those big bin bags full of wiring and Christms lights and whatever. So now I can get my post from the box outside, without having to feel like a Marine on maneuvers.

Today they're using the stair rails to hang out their freshly washed sheets.

It was gorgeous most of the week, but then the humidity came back last night, and it once again feels like a tropical jungle out there--tho' there is a cool breeze at least, thankfully. But not a lot of fun, wringing wet with sweat, just walking a few streets away to the store, or to work or whatever.

Well, must get on, have some chores to see to before work. Going to be a rough few days 'till I can get back on my feet again...maybe a week, dunno'. It was really strange this time, 'cos I didn't know I was sick...oddly, I feel worse after the treatment, then before! Go figure.

Have a good day, all.

I've gotten to very polite requests via my e-mail. The first was from a young lady I met on a dr who website, asking if I would do her meme. I'm getting pretty jaded with these things---but, the last couple of requests were so very politely worded, how could I say no? I am a person that doesn't take well to being pushed, but you can lead in your direction with simple courtsey and respect.

I respond very negatively to bullying (after a pretty much a life time of it, wouldn't you?), but ask me nice and say please, and I'm putty in your hands, ha-ha. Well, as long as you're not trying to take advantage of me. I can, in fact, say "No" in five different languages...not counting English.

Anyway, I was first asked to do a meme. so here goes. The other request requires a seperate post, due to the length--and, I'm a bit shy...OK, very, very shy, about posting this particular thing, so I still am up in the air whether I will honour the second request, from someone else--a young woman I met on a writer's forum. She wants to see my rought draft of my play--it's not even half-way written yet, and is rough, so I don't know...it's awkward. People ask to see my work, and when they find out it really is rubbish, that I'm not just being humble about it, they don't know what to say...awkward situation for both of us--and I seldom get true constructive criticism any longer--except people pointing out my poor spelling--which I'm accutely and painfully aware of, believe you me! And my typing sucks, as well these days--sure I finally got a desk, but I've no proper chair for it--found every chair in the house is the wrong height--even the kicthen chairs!

Anyway, to the meme--thankfully a short one. This is roodgirl's meme (whom, despite her name is really very sweet).

WHO INFLUENCED YOU MOST GROWING UP:

My mum of course--she was a great mum, always there for me and always interested in helping me to learn and be a better person. She just wanted me to be happy, which is the best thing anyone can want for another person, isn't it?

TV was big growing up--tho' we only got in 3 stations. Don't laugh--please don't, but one of my big influeces were TV characters like Daniel Boone (Fess Parker), The Rifleman (Chuck Conners), and the guys on a short-lived western-comedy about Texas rangers called, "Laradeo."

CAST OF LARAEDO

Other people include: Neighbours--some of the mum's on my street, my home-ec teacher Miss Signer (who in one of those weird "small world" coincidences, grew up in Massachusetts, next door to my great aunt Mary--how strange is that?)--she was very big on manners, but also first got me interested in cooking. A couple of other teachers, my 5th grade teacher Miss McDonough (who later married) took a personal interest in me, and opened my eyes to new places and things--especially history, reading and the theatre. Mr. Norton, my 6th and 7th grade science teacher, got me interested in nature studies--especially bird watching and tree identification. Mrs. Avery, my 7th grade English teacher, who really spurred on my interest in writing stories, plays and journals, and introduced me to some of the classic authors, like Poe and Kipling. There was old Harry, the gardener for the Episcopal bishop's estate, behind our home. He always, always had time to talk to me. He was tremendously kind, told wonderful stories and treated almost as an equal. In my teens, I got hooked into John Denver's music, and also the "Nature" and "Circles" essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson. But mum was definitely number one, no doubts about that.

That was possibly my longest meme answer ever.

A FAVOURITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY:

Mum and dad taking us on a day trip to Frontier Town theme park, up here in the Adrirondacks (which finally went bankrupt in the early 1990's.) It had a real western style town, real horses and stagecoaches and a steam train you could ride, real indians, a fully kitted out troop of "seventh calvary," that came charging to the rescue, and outlaws--who held up your stagecoach and robbed the bank, and a marshall, of course... and a real rodeo, as well..even a staged "hanging" from the livery stable's roof--hey, it WAS 60's...no political correctness back then. It was soooo--cool. It would probably be like a young Dr Who fan going to a Dr Who theme park, I suppose.

Believe it or not, one of my favourite things, was this real western saddle, that was strapped on to an oil drum, and suspended from wires (which a family member--hopefully not your sibling--would sway and make the "horse" buck. You see it had padding on the ground underneath, and you could try your hand at riding a "bucking" horse--gosh, that was more fun to me than a thousand other mechanical amusement park rides--I STILL wish I had one of those! It really was a blast!

SADDEST TIME IN YOUR LIFE?

The morning I watched my mum die.

HAPPIEST TIME IN YOUR LIFE?

Hmmm--a two-part answer is called for.

I really liked growing up where I did--oh, still lots of bad times, sad times..even horrible times...but mostly, I think I was generally pretty happy, I think from about 1971 to 76.

As an adult, I'd say 2001/2002 were the best adult years of my life. Everything was happening for me--I had some dreams come true, like owning my own home and traveling overseas, and was on my way (or so I naively thought) to a career in theatre or journalism, mum was ill but still stable and holding her own, I'd won an top scholastic award and a small scholarship, and for the first time in my whole life, got straight A's, two semesters in a row. I had a new car, I was able to pay all my bills..I really was on top form and making my life work (Ha! My God, I really was naive.)

IF YOU COULD RE-LIVE PART OF YOU LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Honestly, I'd just like to be a young girl--maybe about 11 or 12, and going shopping with my mum again...just something mundane, you know? Or maybe on a picnic or to a museum or something. Just out with her, on an ordinary day.

HOW DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR CAREER?

I was desperate, I just had been laid off from my seasonal job--the job paid two dollars more than the 6.75 I'd been making, and, I really do enjoy working with my voice--so I applyed, but being a telemarketer definitely wasn't a deliberate career choice--it's not a career, it's a job. (at least I hope it still is). I no longer pine after a career--it's a dead issue now. My writing and other skills are just not good enough to compete, and I'm not nice-enough looking to compete, either.

WHAT EVENT IN YOUR LIFE ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF?

In scale, it's not really a big thing at all, I suppose. But, it'd be finally graduating from my community college--and that my mum lived long enough to see it. (Dad refused to come.)

YOUR MOST DIFFICULT ACCOMLISHMENT?

Getting through the math requirement to graduate college--took the course at least 5 times in three years. I have dyscalculia AND a bit of dyspraxia (aka: DCD)...meaning it's mentally impossible for me to do even the most basic maths--like multiplication, simple subtraction and division...and not so hot at music and science, either. Finally, by special arrangement, I was allowed to write a math-based essay, instead of taking the final. My last math prof was a gem, and such a lovely, patient and compassionate lady.

HOW DO YOU APPROACH DEATH?

Of course I'm afraid of dying--most people are, it's human nature. But, really, I'm fine with it. We all die someday--some before our time, some quite old, some in agony, some peacefully, but die we do. And, I have learned the painful lesson that there truly are worse things than death, out there.

FAVOURITE OR MOST EXOTIC HOLIDAY SPOT YOU'VE EVER BEEN TO?

yes, I've been to Egypt, that's pretty exotic--and I loved the laid back life in the Netherlands, but you know, I LOVED Iceland. Really. I mean, at first I didn't--it looked really boring after Amsterdam and all that...but, I honestly had a fantastic time all on my own there (everyone else in our college group was either sleeping off hangovers or went on a bus tour to the falls and geysirs---well, I worked at Old Faithful and wandered around Yellowstone park for the summer of '80--been there, got the tee shirt (well, I used to have one). I choose horseback riding, a free seafood buffet and a swim in the Blue Lagoon hot springs. Whoo-hoo, first time in my life I ever truly felt like a "decadent American."

WORST HOLIDAY SPOT?

Well, in some ways, Egypt. But I don't wanna' talk about it.

MOST FUN THINGS YOU EVER DID ON HOLIDAY?

Go sailing in a real wooden Friesian sail boat for a weekend--super fantastic and totally cool! Ride a camel, ride a purebred white Arab mare in the dunes above the Spynx at dusk/dark, swim in the Blue Lagoon, go whitewater rafting, well--always horseback riding, visted a totally cool museum in Asen(?) in Drenthe to see bog bodies and other really neat artifacts, See the Lower Falls of the Yellowstone, sit alone on the desert sands outside of Fayoum Oasis, just drinking in the scenery and listening to the call to prayer over the Tannoy... Oh, just lots of things--I like doing stuff on holiday...never could get into that whole lay about on the beach bit--I can lay about for free here at home, why go away to do it? Or, to trudge around some corny amusement park--tho' I'd never say no to an amusement park, if someone else was paying for it, ha-ha.

have a girl next to my dorm room in Wyoming that was JUST LIKE THIS!!!

Between the girl from San Bernadino, and my new room mate from...Alabama...and her mum...I was SOOOO--GLAD to be on that bus back to good old uptight upstate New York...where people may be snarky and self-centered and in a hurry all the time, but at least they weren't completely stupid--well, they are now, 28 years later...but that's another story.

Until this week, I had no idea that Catherine Tate did comedy--she's BRILLIANT! Wow, this woman is not only a fantatasic proper actress, Tate is a delightful and witty comedianne as well! Love her! If I weren't straight, I'd might become a fan-girl. To hell with David Tennant--he's a 2, she's a definite 8 or 9.

Wow, I didn't sound much like a "genuine old maid" there, did I?

I just gave a big jump, 'cos there were three big bangs outside--I went on the balcony, and can hear now, that there's some kind of fireworks display going on over at the city's minor league baseball/football field. There wasn't anything in the local paper, the Post-Star (typical), but I Googled it, and found that the local state collegiate baseball team (which is weird 'cos Glens Falls doesn't have any colleges, just a beauty school--the only college is in Queensbury--and my alma mater's teams are known as the Timberwolves).

Anyway, seems tonight's the final game for the "Glens Falls Golden Eagles" baseball team until the autumn (the college kids go back to school in late August, usually), and they had a fan appreciation night--fans could hunt the outfield for buried treasure (in this case $600 worth of jewelry donated by a local jewelers), and watch a fireworks display after the game--they were playing a team from my sister's neck 'o the woods, the Bennington (Vermont) Bombers.

Meh--baseball's boring as hell...watching, playing, I don't care, snoozeville! Gimme' a action-packed basketball or soccer (football), or polo match, anyday! Even golf is ten times more exciting than baseball--heck, I'd much rather watch ten-pin bowling, pee-wee (junior) ice hockey or snooker, rather than baseball.

Actually, in my experience, watching paint dry, grass grow, bread dough rise and stews cook, are all a lot more exciting than baseball.

GLENS FALLS EAST FIELD

What day is it? Is it Wednesday or Thursday?

I guess I really am ill--geez, for the life of me, I can't guess what day it is...I THINK it's Thursday???