I Ain't Afraid of No Daleks

"Erm--Russel, I realize that I don't always act grown-up, but I'm NOT playing 'paddy-cake' with you!"

Okay, still unhappy, but in a better mood now.

My neighbour is going on with her friend to Wendy's and asked if I wanted something--so I scraped up $1.25 in change from my change cup, and she's bringing me back a 99 cent Wendy's junior bacon cheeseburger. (Mind you, I'm quite sure it won't look anything like the one in the photograph.)

I've had this weird craving for a hamburger for a couple of days now. Too bad I didn't have enough for a strawberry shake.

Oh, by the way, this picture gave me a laugh: (A "frosty" is an extra thick chocolate milkshake!)

I'm still fuming over the loss of the item and waste of time and money--oh, no, I was told by another bus driver that it was that particular bus's last run of the day--figures, but..that I could pick up the item--if it was still there, at the depot...which is out by the county airport, some 4 miles distant....which would cost, I just found out...`14 dollars round trip cab fare...maaaan! Anyway, I just have to bite the bullet and just accept that I'm the loser, tonight.

I mean, taken alongside all the big disasters that have befallen me, I suppose I can just sigh over this tiny one, and just move on and deal with it.

But, still too aggravated to write, so I'm posting an old post from last year, that I wrote on a very obscure website that I no longer use.

It's just talking about why I don't date and why I'm alone, all that boring palaver...

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Well, I don't generally go 'round advertising this, ya' know.

Especially not in this day and age, ey? I mean, a 46 year old virgin--who's not a nun? Actually, I used to be Catholic--even worked in a convent for two years (shudders)--that was...an experience.

Being Catholic wasn't my idea, mind. It was my dad's--who wasn't even a devout Catholic--but to whom image was everything. He refused to let mum go to church with us on Sundays, as she was Lutheran and he was ashamed of that, for some reason. But then, that was normal for dad--if anyone didn't fit his idea of "image," even his own family members, that person was either dismissed from his presence or verbally put down. So, mum was excluded from church--mostly because she was protestant, but also, I think, 'cause she was fat. She didn't used to be, but being around dad was a bit of a bummer, so mum put on more and more weight as time went on. And dad hated fat people, as well. Blacks, fat people, foreigners, poor people---and educated people intimidated him (including me, after I went to college.) He loved rich people, though--virtually worshiped the ground rich people walked on. Dad may have been catholic, but money was his God--tho' truth to tell, he was never able to get himself out of the lower middle class (ie: blue collar/ chav) though, sadly for him.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I positively hated being Catholic--not meaning to offend any Catholics out there, I do really have a lot of respect for the religion, but it just didn't suit me, personally--what I believe and how I prefer to worship and such--well, that and being traumatized at the tender age of 12, by a priest almost literally foaming at the mouth at me in confessional, for not remembering how to say confession properly. Kind of killed the brotherly love aspect for me. So no, I was NEVER a nun!

But I am a virgin yes. There's several reasons for that, a dark reason that I cannot discuss here and also a couple of lesser reasons.

I've never been kissed on the lips--not sure how I'd take that, now, in my "old age." I've not dated in over 10 years...and I've never dated the same guy more than a handful of times. Without exception, in the end, all my dates ever wanted from me, was either sex, or to use me to show off to his ex. I've dated guys that have told me outright, that they had other girlfrieds--really tacky, guys, to say to a gal on a date. Before you make the date, maybe--but on the date itself? Yeah, that went over well. I remember one guy virtually bragging to me--on my date--how many girlfriends he had, and how many times he was shagging them every week. So...dating. Forget it. Not worth it. Had a guy tell me--again, on the first date--that he couldn't "get serious" with me, if I didn't convert to his born-again Christian religion.
Okay, then. Check please!

oh and the last guy, I met online through an historical hobby message board. We'd be writing each other for months, and he said he was coming to my area. Asked if we could meet over coffee. Sure, why not--public place what could happen? Yeah. Well, seems he also wanted me to show him some of the historic sites--couldn't find how to get to Fort Ticonderoga. So, okay. We meet in the local diner in my town. Now, he wrote me that he was 55--I was 35 at the time, and I may be an old maid--but I'm an open-minded one, and don't care about age differences--up to a point, anyway. Well...Mr X exceeded that point---turns out, he was exactly my mum's age! She was, I think, 70 at the time. Yeah--I may have dyscalculia (math disability)...but even I know... 55 and 70--they don't add up. But he seemed genuine--said he didn't think I'd want to see him or write to him, if I thought he was that old--didn't buy that 100 percent...but I was willing to give him some leeway. Bad move. So, we drove out to Fort Ti---it was a hot day, did he offer to buy me a cold drink? No. In fact, he never even offered to pay for my coffee...I don't mind Dutch treat at all--I've paid my own tab more times than not, but an offer would have been the gentlemanly thing to do...at least, that's my thinking. Okay, so we get to ticonderoga--but not without him going on about what "a nice motel room" he had. (Hint-hint, wink and a nudge)...oh yeah, that was subtle.

Well, we got to Fort Ticonderoga--and he was all miffed at me, because I didn't have any admission price for the fort tour on me--well, I hadn't planned on going to the blinkin' historic site, had I? I'd just gone out with coffee money, and pocket change for a phone call, if need be. (I've been naive--but not totally daft.) I mean, you could still walk the grounds for free--you just couldn't go inside, or go on the guided tour with the costumed guide, that's all. But, he got all put out and drove me home---via the town where he was staying--which was about 20 miles south of where I lived--and we were 40 miles or so to the north, of my town, at the historic site. So, bit of a detour then--and I was NOT amused!

He insisted I go inside to "see" (wink-nudge, know-what-I-mean) his room. I poked my head in---yeah, it's a room, thanks for the tour, bye. I wound up bumming a ride home from a neighbour who worked at a restaurant near the old fart's hotel. The old fart started calling my home and bugging my mum all night--so I threated to tell his wife about us---oh, didn't mention that did I? He'd also written me that he was divorced. He wasn't. Yeah---Like a nun, I made a vow that night---NEVER AGAIN. And, like a nun, I've kept my vows...I have not, and never ever will, date a guy ever again. No. And if I was a lesbian--I wouldn't date a girl, either!

So, I'm alone.

Actually, those are the lighter reasons. The other two reasons are much more complicated and a lot tougher to talk about. And I've never really done that, in my life, and may never be able to--don't know.

But, I don't relate really, to love stories. I've never been in love--and no guy has ever loved me. And I doubt very much any guy ever will. No guy has ever wanted me--for just...me. I wish that weren't true, but it is, and it's always going to be that way. No avoiding the truth...I'm just not a very lovable person, I guess. I mean, what guy wants to date a woman who can't have sex? No guys that I know of--'least not in America.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

I just wasted a whole hour of my time and six dollars of my precious funds--for nothing!

I grabbed a bus for the pharmacy, to get something I really needed---and, just left it on the bus!

The bus depot is closed, so I cannot call them--all I can do is go back down and wait--and hope that bus comes 'round again...and that the item I left on the flippin' seat is still there.

I only had 15 dollars...now, between the fare and the item, I have less than 10 dollars 'till Friday.

I'm hot, I'm tired, and I'm disgusted. Life sucks and then you die.

Hi all,

Wow, am I getting my fill of nut-jobs at work today!

Examples:

Georgia woman answering phone: "Who is this!"

Me: "may I speak to Mr. ___________, please? I'm calling from his ____"

Georgia Woman: (screams) "WAAAHHH!" (SLAMS DOWN PHONE IN MY EAR.)

Okaaay, then. Next:

ME: "Hello, may I speak to __________, please?"

Snarky western NY woman on other end of phone: "Whatdd'ya want him for?"

ME: "I'm calling from his____________."

Snarky woman: Whhhaat?!? You're crazy!" (slams phone in my ear.)

And that's just two calls....there's been a passel of them.

I'm repping for an organization that promotes shooting sports....yes, America lets people like these use guns! Scary stuff, ey?

David Tennant tries to pretend that he didn't just loudly break wind on National television.

Hello

It's Monday. yeah. Whoopie.

Anyway, another stormy start to the day....very unusual. Not that we never get morning storms--but they are rare, and to get early morning storms two days in a row, is pretty much unheard of, in this part of the world.

Well, starting tomorrow, and continuing until 8th July, over 2000 historic French and Indian (Queen Anne's) War reenactors will be descending on the town of Ticonderoga, NY, and the fully restored historic fort, for 15 days of encampments and battle maneuvers, as it's the 250th anniversary of the Battle of Carillion. http://www.fort-ticonderoga250th.org/

This is why I miss having a car, people! I love this stuff.

Anyway, rainy day. Woke with a headache. Not in a great mood...not grumpy, but not happy, either. Not sure why, maybe it's the weather, maybe it's because it's Monday, maybe it's my illness, maybe it's because I don't really like my job any longer, maybe it's because I'm just a cranky old maid.

Hope you all have a good Monday.

Here's some pics from last year's battle at Fort Ti:

Blackwatch regiment

Roger's Rangers--representing the world's 1st army ranger regiment

Oh yeah, right. Like McCain instead of Bush is REALLY going to change anything?

Recently, when asked by a reporter how he felt about McCain being president, a soldier on the ground in Iraq merely shrugged and said, "Might as well keep it going." Says it all, don't you think?

Wow, I'm tired! But, got some needed chores done, today, at any rate.

Storms have finally cleared off, and there's a lovely cool breeze coming in the window off my little balcony.

I've been also busy mucking about with some Dr Who fan-fic. Seems last year, without ever noticing, I'd put copied and pasted one of my older stores onto my original Who-fic blog (www.nbgwho.wordpress.com), and mess up some of the chapters...so trying to sort that, once and for all.

And, got this new story I've been neglecting...chapter two is holding back the flow of the story (Dark Holiday), so I'm messing about, trying to cut much of chapter 2, and moving chap. three back, and making it chap. 2 instead--confused yet? It's okay, I'm almost always confused these days, you're in good company. So, in a day or two, I should have that sorted, and can move the story forward again, post something on my other Who-fic blog (www.davidtennantsdoctor.wordpress.com).

I tried reading the local paper--bleh. It's become so incredibly pro-conservative, that it makes me want to just throw it away and use it for kitty litter. The Post-Star used to be, twenty years ago, such a good-quality, reasonably unbiased local paper, that I would go out of my way to buy it...new owners though...cut the column inches, replaced stories with jazzy photos...often rubbish pics, at that, and now...disgusting. Now, I'm not just speaking as a liberal, but as a former communications major. It hurts me to see the corporate media get away with what amounts to prostituting the news, just to make a profit. Of course, yellow and biased journalism, has been around for over a century.

And unfortunately, some Americans aren't entirely blameless in this-- they've become mentally lazy, and are afraid to read anything that's longer than their index finger...can't take information of any kind--factual or fiction, in large doses any longer. Sadly, the men in the suits in the corporate media, cater to these people.

Well, don't get me started on that, no one whats to hear it, anyway.

Sun's going down--and I think I'm due for a bit of a rest. Still a tad under the weather, and I do have a job to go to, tomorrow. Hope You all have a great night. Cheers, Nancy G.

ADIRONDACK SUNSET ON LAKE COLBY--I stayed at a camp here with my school class, autumn of '73.