Have You Hugged A Tree, Today?

I was a teenage tree hugger.

I also, in my teenage years (1974-1980), listened to John Denver and folk music, dressed like cross between a cowgirl and a woodswoman, read wrote poetry, bird-watched, bushwhacked (hiking where there are no trails), kept a journal of my observations while outdoors, and acquainted myself with works by the early transcendentalists like Emerson and Thoreau.

For all intents and purposes, as teenagers went in my part of the world, I was an outsider, a rebel without a clue.

And…I really don’t regret being that way.

Well, hanging out in the fields and woods so often, with mostly only my dogs for company, certainly prepared me for my solitary way of life, now.

But, really, I have very happy memories of being a closet transcendentalist, in my teens. I mean, every day was an open book to me, every time I went out there, was the turning of a page I’d never read before. I was surrounded by sound and colour and movement, all working together in this marvelous, ever-changing dance of life, of all which makes the universe, and being human enough to sense and feel these things, so very special to me.

Being outside, for me, also meant total freedom. I mean, when I was out roaming the fields and woods, hills and streams, I was absolutely free. I could be myself, with no one to judge me. I could be anything I want, do whatever pleased me at the moment, and no one to say ‘aye, yes, or no.’ Oh, I could be myself at school, in the village, at the shopping centre, in the library, at home--but, there was always the ever-present danger of censorship, of rejection and disapproval. I had no peers out there, roaming my tiny part of the Upper Hudson Valley; only the earth and sky, the wind and the water.

If I had any peers, as such, I suppose it was my half- bred collie Shamrock (the other half was retriever mix), and Harry, the old gardener who took care of the former estate land where much of the woods and fields I roamed resided. Without peer pressure, well, it was…empowering. Oh, sometimes I got lonely, sure. Even to this day, I get sad because I never had anyone--will probably never have anyone, to show that side of myself, to.

You may read bits and snatches of that side of me, in my blog(s) from time to time. But, I’ve never, in over 30 years, been in the position where I could actually physically go out in the woods, and share that side of myself with someone. Of course it makes me sad, I’d be daft if I never realized that, but…it’s a price I have to pay, and I’ve paid it willingly. I gave up doing the “normal” teenage socializing/peer pressure thing, to go off and be alone and do my own thing…and have very seldom ever regretted it.