I Ain't Afraid of No Daleks

FORT TICONDEROGA BATTLE ANNIVERSARY, NEAR SOUTHERN END OF LAKE CHAMPLAIN

Good old Lake George: (yes, it is that clean--the town uses the lake for drinking water)

SARATOGA SPRINGS!!!!

WEll, I made it home, somehow.

I thought I was going to pass out in the office today, felt so woozy. Guess it's going to take a while for my procrit shots to take effect.

Flame is just so incredibly loving, today! right now she's curled up asleep on the slide-out drawer for my keyboard on my new/used desk. She's been in the "I'm cute and adorable, gotta' LOVE ME!" stage today. Yesterday she was quite cranky, and mostly wanted to be left alone. Even female cats get mood swings, ey?

Haven't had lunch and think I'll skip it.

Going to make a variation of my Cajun hot pot, tonight....just Zatarain's black beans and rice with tinned corn, but instead adding the usual chorizo or smoked sausage, I've the hotdogs to put in it. Have a feeling when I get more "solvent" again, I'm not going to be buying many frankfurters from the store, for awhile, ha-ha. Hey, I can tell people that I'm on some new "Hot-dog diet," ey? Maybe I'll write a diet book and get rich.

The insider scoop, direct from Cardiff:

Tate won the contest, hands-down. Crediting the fact that ginger-haired English women hold their liquor better than skinny Scottish men, Tate said, "I am woman,(hic) hear me roar!" Tennant responded by throwing up on producer Russell T. Davies designer shoes. While Tate recovered from the drinking bout fairly quickly, Tennant spent the rest of filming with his head coming in close contact with a loo bowl.

Uh oh, the republicans are at it again, putting McCain adverts on my blog. So Here's MY response

Well, on my usual 10 min. Break.

Supervisor told me I'm barely average in the current telemarketing sales campaign, and could do better. Well, what else is new? That's me in a nutshell, barely average.

Still, it beats cleaning public toilets and picking up dirty beer cups for a living, hands down. Yes, that's what I wound up doing, post-college. Nice to know that naf old 2 year degree was good for something. I keep my AA degree on my wall, handy in case I ever run out of toilet paper.

I still can't believe I got so upset about Dr Who this weekend. That really made me put on the brakes, Sunday afternoon. I make a point to try and not get too obsessed with stuff, try to keep my perpective not too cockeyed. So, when it dawns on me that something like a TV show, sends me into a tailspin, whoa. Not good. Time to withdraw a bit. Find something else to do. Those people at BBC Wales would care less if I watch the programme or not, so it's not like it's a big loss, whether I'm still a fan. Certainly, I'm aware that Davies or Tennant would give a flying peanut whether I'm unhappy with them or not. I'm not that naive!

So, will try and finish that Dr Who story on wordpress and then move on to something else--maybe just essays or a play or something.

Well, feeling really poorly, but must slog on until 4pm. Life sucks and then you die, people....if you're lucky.

Have a great day all, peace. Nancy G.

I have this artist friend in Greenwich Village down in New York City, has some of her work on display at a gallery down there. The gallery owner rang her up yesterday, with the news that someone had purchased no less than ten of her paintings.

When she asked the owner what made the man buy so many of her works, the owner said the man was curious to know if her work would be worth anything in years to come. It seems that the gallery owner had responded that her art would appreciate in value long after she was dead. Without hesitation, the man snatched up her work, paying cash for them.

"That's great news," I told her, "you must be well chuffed". "Well, yes and no," she replied. "How's that?" I asked. "The man who bought the paintings was my doctor."

An overcast morning here. Feeling weak and shaky again today. Not much I can do about that, I suppose. Probably need to eat, but I don't feel much like eating. Suppose it'll bacon and eggs, as the high humidity has made honey-nut shredded wheat all clump together, for some reason. Couldn't afford juice this week, and our tap water here literally tastes like it was filtered through dirt, so I'll have to have diet Pepsi with breakfast, as I have to conserve the milk and make it last awhile.

So, not into work until noon this week. At least I'm not stuck on night shift. I didn't used to care what hours or shifts I worked, or how long the work day was, or even if I had to work 6 or 7 days a week, as long as I at least had a job and enough funds for my food, shelter and utility bills. But, since becoming ill, it's getting harder and harder to work even 4 hours a day, without feeling completely knackered. I'm literally growing old before my time.

I need to get out more, to feel alive again, to be part of the world again...just don't have the energy--or the funds, most of the time. Getting those twenty collections notices in the post this weekend, from the federal govt.'s education department...that really took the wind out of my sails...then that stupid Dr Who stunt Davies and Tennant pulled...not a good weekend for me, at all.

Sometimes it's ironic to me--here I live in a quiet little city in the foothills of the southeastern Adirondack mountains, 178 miles from New York City, sandwiched between two major resort towns--tons and tons of amusements and attractions and things to do, basically right on my doorstep...and I do nothing. I am like a prisoner, forced to look between her bars and watch the world going on with its business while I stand there with empty hand, helpless and powerless to change anything.

Well, that was a cheery post, wasn't it?

Anyway, have to eat before I pass out, I suppose. I barely did a thing this weekend--which I hate. I miss being active, very sorely. Yet, I feel like I've been put through the wringer. When will this all end? Wish I had some mates to hang with, to pull me out of my funk.

"Yes, yes, David, that was a really good fart. Erm--I think I hear the director calling you, why don't you go see what he wants, ey?"

I will say that it isn't easy, living with DCD (aka: dyspraxia) and dyscalculia, most especially when you are so aware of just how vast the world is, just how wondrous and full is the breath and scope of our history and experiences and knowledge--and, those things we do not yet know, those things we cannot necessarily see and touch, or readily explain.

I cannot stress enough, how helpless I feel, when I struggle to learn--and oh, how frustrated I get, steeped in self-loathing and sheer frustration, most especially when I desperately want to "get" something!

But, my wonky brain simply makes that impossible: chemistry formulas, reading and playing music, balancing my bank book--even simple subtraction eludes me. And learning things like Photo Shop, dancing, even badminton...very, very difficult. The side of my brain that must take logical steps in order...tends to take the first few of those steps--then either stops or simply passes over a point in the sequence like it was never there.

As an example. If you were to give me a short sequence of numbers to repeat, I could do that up to a point--say the fifth or sixth or even tenth number. But, if you asked me to repeat those numbers backwards--maybe I MIGHT get to the second or third set of numbers--and my brain would come to a screeching halt, and I simply wouldn't be capable of doing any more. And let me telling you, that HURTS me, emotionally. It makes me feel small and powerless.

I especially hate it, really hate it, when someone blows my disability off, by saying "I'm bad at math, too." It's NOT that I'm "bad" at math--it's that my brain doesn't allow me to process the information properly to complete the task. In fact, I LIKE algebra, when I took it for the first time in college, I thought it a bit like doing a puzzle game. But, as I discovered, with the help of one of my professors, my brain won't allow me to do it--it "skips" steps, "forgets" information.

Yes, this even effects my memory process, at times--not always, but enough to give me a lot of grief, when I was in college.

For instance, I can learn a math formula--or even lines from a play, have them down pat--and then, as little as a day or so later, the information is gone from my brain. It's why, I discovered, I am incapable of memorizing multiplication tables, or how to do long division.

I have learned, as far as exams and scripts and speeches go, how to work with my memory lapses. I've found that if I did one or two quick bursts of intensive memorization...in short doses, just before a test or a speech or performance, I'd be (mostly) good to go. Otherwise, long times spent memorizing things well in advance, are basically a waste of time for me.

In studying, I've also found that I learn better with assistance--a teacher in front of me talking about whatever the course is, and with in-class interaction, and step by step guidance. I found, much to my dismay, that study on my own is quite hard. I don't retain things as well, without that person-to-person interaction.

My concentration wavers too much, on my own. I'm a person who is drawn to observation--I'm always looking, forever curious. That's probably why I was so good at historical research and finding antique bottle to dig up for my collection, when I was out in the woods...out exploring the woods and fields, I was always finding things...sometimes artifcts, sometimes just an interesting natural object.

Sometimes my curiosity, my sense of wonder, my joy of discovery, works well for me--and sometimes, not. Sometimes my attention wavers at the most inoppertune moments. And, that can be terribly embarassing and frustrating.

Anything requiring hand-eye coordination means that I have to stop, pause and try and figure out how to compensate for my disability. Sometimes I succeed. Like with horseshoe pitching or darts--what I do is experiment, basically trial and error, until I find the stance, the movement, the place to put my gaze, that will make the thing I'm trying to accomplish work for me. Art is impossible. I cannot hold a pencil properly, cannot connect my mind with my eye and my hand and my heart, all at the same time.

I can take nothing for grated. What's difficult for any "normal" person, his doubly so for me--and sometimes just plain impossible. And you have no idea how sad that makes me.

And the worst part of all this, the very worst part, is that so few people know, and rarely does anyone ever understand.

It's an invisible disability. And, it IS debilitating, sometimes.

I used to dream of finding an understanding teacher, who "got" my problems and would work with me. I did have one--a wonderful math professor, who with her help, made me FINALLY (after 5 sucessive failures) pass algebra. I would never have passed the math requirement that was needed in order for me to graduate from college, without her kindness and understanding. But, that's so rare. So few understand--well, no one wants to, really. People don't like what they can't see, or touch, or understand.

Sometimes, my disability embarrasses people. My dad, teachers, fellow employees--whether they know about my problem or not, my difficulties will sometimes cause other people discomfort--so I don't tell people about it, if I don't have to. It's best that way, I've found. Telling makes people treat me differently, and I don't like that.

But it is hard, so hard, knowing what a wonderful place we have here on earth--an incredible store of thousands of years of knowledge. Beauty and poetry and song are everywhere, in the earth and sky, and in the heart and mind. To be excluded from that, even in the smallest way, can be quite shattering.

I lost my car in the late summer of 2006. So, no more country drives--well, with gas prices, and global warming to worry about that wouldn't be possible now, anyway.

So, I'm taking you all on a "Virtual" road trip with me and my immaginary vintage pick up truck, down the back roads and by-ways of Washington County NY.

So, sit back, enjoy some of my favourite "road trip" music, and take in the scenery:

I'm not giving it up completely, just backing away from it. No more watching Who DVD's every day, no more writing fan-fic, or reading every little article or interview that comes out, no more books...I'll watch the DVD's from time to time, still...may watch the specials next year, may even still pop in on the forums, once in a while, and write my stupid DT captions...but not going to obsess over some TV programme any longer. Not worth feeling like this, no way.

Here's what I wrote on another blog:

"Made a fool of myself last night--and quite literally made myself sicker, over the news of Tennant's alleged regeneration.

I couldn't sleep last night, I couldn't eat this morning. I had to force myself to eat, so I could take my metformin and Atenlol, antibiotics and vitamins. Glad the health center nurse gives me my Procrit shot--my hand was trembling so bad this morning, I wouldn't want to have had to hold a needle, ha-ha.

Then I realized how utterly stupid I was being.

I've a feeling I may not be the only fan thinking of ditching the Doctor. I'm sure that the BBC's getting an earful, today.

Not good for someone suffering from depression and a chronic illness, getting upset like that--over a flippin' television programme! Blimey!

It isn't the regeration that upset me, it wasn't DT leaving that upset me, I'm fine about that. (I love Tennant as the Doctor, and would be enormously sad to see him depart, but it's his life, he can do what he wants--plus I haven't done the sex-crazed fan-girl thing in something like 30 years...he just sort of looks like any other bloke, to me--like some guy I might see in the lift at the office, or standing in the queue at the market till).

No, I was upset over the WAY this was done. It was low.

Not that Davies would give a darn, what I think. I'm nobody...I'm not even British (tho I would like to be). I can't afford to get the Sci-fi channel, or buy the books, DVD's, CD's or toys. I'm no one. So I doubt the man's going to give a rat's bottom what I think.

I highly doubt Tennant would care, either. I'm not anybody...and that's okay. that's just the way the world works. I lost every last one of my illusions about life in the last 2 years, believe me. I live, eat and breathe reality, these days.

But, I would like to tell Davies to his face, how much he hurt me. He snapped my trust in Dr Who and crushed into little pieces.

I don't like cheap shots. I don't like being made a fool of--and I REALLY felt like a fool, this morning, when I realized how upset I'd gotten last night.

He wanted to play it cute--and I understand that the man doesn't have the balls to care who he hurts. He's going to write and produce Who, the way he wants to, and if someone gets hurt or people get upset, the man's not going to care. David Tennant is his pawn and played along with it, and that puts him down a notch in my eyes, as well--again, not that either of them will give a hoot.

Anyway, after 25 years as a serious Who fan, I think it's time to step away.

Doctor Who saw me through some terrible, terrible time, these past 2 years.

Focusing on Dr Who helped me through my grief at the loss of my mum--and some of my beloved pets, it helped me through both a foreclosure and, later, an eviction. It saw me through job losses and a repossession, and huger and cold.

My love of the programme saw me through illness and pain, it saw me through virtual isolation from the outside world--no money no phone, no internet, televsion or radio and no friends in my life, for months and months,

Doctor Who even kept me--albeit, in an off-hand way, from coming painfully close to ending my life.

Yet, last night, I think was a wake-up call.

I have to deal with practical things. I HAVE to live in the real world, I can't wrap myself up in something that is not real.

And Dr Who, at the end of the day, is just a TV show.

I've decided to back off from Doctor Who. I think I need to. I've let it become too important to me.

I've decided to finish my most recent fan-fiction story, called "Dark Holiday" on wordpress, and then quit writing Dr Who-fic forever. Well, it's not like I'm all that great shakes as a writer, and it's certainly not great literature, so it's no big loss to the world, whether I write anymore or not. I just will find other things to write about. I've my "oldmaid" blog on blog.co.uk, to keep my interest in writing going, without having to crank out some naf fan-fic stories.

No, Russell T. David, David Tennant and the BBC won't care how I feel, so why should I care about Doctor Who?

I have no life anymore, and feel that this clinging to a mere televsion programme has rendered me all the more pathetic than I am right now.

I made such a moron of myself last night...still can't believe it.

The BBC. Russell T. Davies, David Tennant and all the rest of the Who team that were in on this, slapped me in the face for no reason, last night, other than for some cheap shock tactic.

I don't like bad surprises Russlell, Haven't I had enough of those, time after time after time, in the past year?

You're a calluous miserable sod, Davies. You don't care who you hurt, just so you can get your little jollies.

I'm too disgusted to continue. My joy is dead. Thanks for nothing Russel and Tennant. You stink".

Well, the storms are going 'round us today. So it's partly sunny and less humid out there, as we slowly creep into the evening hours.

I can't stress enough how much I hate the hot, humid weather. But, then I put things in perspective. I remember the months and months of snow and cold we have here--the nights when the thermometor dips to zero, then 10, then 15, then as much as 40 below zero (farinheight, not celcius, folks). The ice and the blowing snow, the snow piles higher than a bungalow's roof...the sleet, the freezing rain, from November to April....I guess I can live with hot and humid for a couple of months, yeah?

I decided to finish "Dark Holiday" on Wordpress, before I ditch writing Dr Who fan-fic altogether. I have a couple of other unfinished works, but...who cares? It's not like it's great literature.

My schedule was changed at the last hour on Friday, so this week (due to lack of work) I start work at noon-time. Well, I need to chill--time for some music.

Think I'll start off with some "sing-along" tunes from when I was young:

SONG/ARTIST

Ruby Tuesday/Rolling Stones
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da/The Beatles
It Never Rains in Southern California/Albert Hammond
Sugar, sugar/The Archies
Lonely People/America

SHIFTING GEARS: ("Road trip" songs)

Life in the Fast Lane/The Eagles
Let her Be/Hootie and the Blowfish
Hot Blooded/Foreigner
The Long Way Home/Supertramp
More than a feeling/Boston
Rockin' Down the Highway/The Doobie Brothers

CHANGING GEARS YET AGAIN: (stuff I've started listening to in the last couple of years/months)

Diamonds in the Dark/Mystery Jets
Golden Skans/Klaxons
Love Me Like You/The Magic Numbers
Modern Way/Kaiser Chiefs
Midnight Show/The Killers
Over/The La's
I Kinda Got Lost/Chris Bell
It's True/The Mysteries of LIfe
Let's Go/The Feelies
Streets of Fire/The New Pornographers
Forebidden Love/Madonna
Murder on the Dance Floor/Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Slow/Kylie Minogue
Crying Game/Culture Club
I Wouldn't Normally Do This/Pet Shop Boys
Heart of Gold/The Kinks
29 Palms/Robert Plant
Sheep/The Housemartins
See-Saw/The Jam
The Cone of Silence/Yo La Tengo
The Ship/Runrig
Going Back to Harlin/Emmy Lou Harris
Flirting With Time/Tom Petty
My America/Deacon Blue
Give Myself to You/Train
Love on the Moon/The Sutherlands
Prairie Town/Randy Bachman
If I Needed Someone/The McGanns
End of the Night/The Cowlicks
Five O'clock World/The Proclaimers
Somebody Remembers the Rose/Whiskeytown
Like This Train/The Mutton Birds

LONG WAY HOME--SUPERTRAMP, FROM 1979. (Slight delay before song begins)

"The long way home is always the most interesting way to travel."-Nancy G.

"Yeah, I'm quite gay, these days...erm, I mean happy. I'm very happy, these days."

Well, didn't Nancy have a rough day, yesterday?

On top of getting ten more of those rather unpleasant US govt. collection notices, being too sick to work, being told that I may--or may not---be going into kidney failure (ever so nice of the doc to clarify that, ey?), spending over an hour trying to figure out how to make just under 40 dollars stretch 5 days (sounds like a lot but with the cost of things these days???), then...everyone telling me that the Doctor regenerated and DT was outta' there---like I said, it wasn't so much him regenerating, it was that I wasn't prepared for it----

---Am I the only one who thinks this little cute stunt on the part of RTD might just backfire on the BBC---I know they lost or nearly lost, some very loyal viewers yesterday, including me...and not all because of DT leaving, but because of the dirty way this was handled.

I'm just furious that RTD was so disrepectful of us long-time fans that he felt he had to leave with this cheap parting shot. I thought he was a much better person than that. I'm really, really disappointed in the pair of them--both DT and RTD. I understand that Tennant was just a pawn, a dupe in Davies' petty little game with us fans, but I definitely have a somewhat lower opinion of him as well, now.

I was never--and I cannot stress this enough--a David Tennant "fan-girl." I didn't pitch a fit because David was gone--I knew that would someday happen. I was upset because my trust was torn apart. I am very anti-spoiler....I mean, I KNEW about the Doctor getting zapped by the Dalek since oh, April, when a friend in a letter told me about it. But I said not a word to anyone, did I?

But, Davies did a reveal about the Sontarans, he revealed about the companions...then, there was the regen scene. What kind of BS is that?

I'd like to tell RTD to his face, that this was really not funny. I'd like to tell him that if he was a decent, intelligent, civilized human being, he should apologize, because he HURT a lot of us, last night. He broke our trust, he stomped all over our faith in Doctor Who---and for what? Why did he do this lousy thing?

Of course, I doubt the man cares. He's leaving, what does he care? What would David Tennant care, if I'm upset? I'm nobody. No, honestly. I have lost every one of my illusions about myself a few yeas back. I'm nothing, and even if I could tell them to their faces, how terrible was the thing they did to me, they wouldn't give a damn. I'm not British (but I'm open for being adopted, ha-ha), I can't afford to get Sci-fi, or to buy the books or DVD's or CD's or toys. What do they care? I am, if nothing else, realistic about my standing in the world, and also my ranking in the sphere of Doctor Who fans. No, what they put me through last night...counts for naught in reality-land.

Well, the nurse admonished me to rest today. Have to go for another Procrit shot tomorrow morning. Hopefully, the antibiotics will help the infection, as well. Seems no one has ever caught this infection, they believe I've had it awhile, and that it may--or may not--have damaged my kidneys.

It's been over a year, this nonsense has been going on. A year ago, I was at work and suddenly felt inexplicably sleepy and weak. Went to the ER--was told that my blood count was so low, that if I hadn't come in, and it had dropped even one or two fractions more, my body would'a crashed and well...bye-bye Nancy. So after an operation and several transfusions, they sent me on my way.

Since then, it's been all downhill from there...and no one yet has been able to completely discover why. Since last June, my diabetes got worse, and my immune system is turning into rubbish, and...no one seems to have a clue.

I count this as having begun when I slipped on the wet kitchen floor and blew out my right foot, tore it to shreds. Before that March day in 2007, I easily walked miles without bother--used to walk 3 miles (partly uphill) to my then-summer job at the Travelodge every day. Carried up to 30 pounds of shopping a half-mile uphill...I was fit, I was healthy...heck, back in May of 2006, I'd sprained/fractured my ankle, and was back at work two days later, on one crutch, cleaning the offices--walking all over the big complex at the harness track/casino. But something about last year's fall was different. Well, for one thing--it wasn't the type of injury that was ever going to heal, that was ever going to stop hurting....I think maybe--and this is only a guess mind you, that perhaps last year's injury was as much physological, as physical.

For the first time in my life, I was made utterly helpless for almost a week--imagine being completely alone, with no one there, and being totally crippled by a horrendously bruised and swollen foot, and in constant, intense pain. I was 100% alone and barely able to move, and had to fend for myself--and the cats, and I'd never had to deal with that before. In hindsight, I think that sudden realization of my own vulnerablity really shook me to the core. It changed me. Before for that injury, I seldom needed a doctor--since then...I've been getting sicker and weaker.

Ah well.

The humidity of last night--gosh, it was awful last night. It was so humid, you could almost cut the air with a knife, and there was no breeze0--my bedroom was 88 F all night. I woke this morning with my hair all wet, like I'd just blinking washed it! Gosh, I do miss my air conditioner, some days.

Well, it's half-past three and I've barely eaten anything all day. Last night really threw me. I still was so upset, that I didn't feel like eating, this morning. All because of some television programme.

I think maybe this is a wakeup call. I have to cut back my interest in Doctor Who. It's just a TV show, for pity's sake! I know it's been a lifeline for me, the only thing I've really had to hold on to, and look forward to, throughout these dark times for the past two years or so.

But...maybe, after 25 years of fandom...maybe it's time I moved on? I try to picture my days without Dr Who, and it's hard. It's not like I have money or transport to find a replacement hobby or interest. Still, I don't like what that little stunt of RTD's and David "sex-god" Tennant did to me, last night.

I will have to reflect a bit on this, methinks.

Well, gotta' toss some hot dogs on the cooker and have some lunch. Cheers. Nancy G.

I wasn't going to blog today, on account of my making such a massive arse of myself last night.

But, with such an unprecidented comments response on my blogs, and so many people pumping therories at me, I thought I'd just quickly do up a Dr Who theory scorecard, as it were:

1. The Doctor regenerates, and next year DT appears in all flashback episodes.

2. The Threefold Man idea--Which is incidentally, the one that inriques me the most, and the oen I myself might most be likely to write into a story (not that I came up with this one, this is something a Dr Who Online fan posed tome): One person thinks that the Dr. regens into the Master (John Sims), Donna Also becomes a version of the Doctor, and that the hand also grows into a third version.

This is a really cool idea, but not sure how practical it would be to film--tho' I'm sure DT might love the idea of working at doing three different versions of his character.

3. The Doctor stops the reneration process somehow.

4. It all centres around the hand, and Donna uses the hand to save the Doctor.

5. The Doctor regenerates into John Sims, period, and David Tenannt is outta' there, sipping those tropical cocktails drinks with little umbrellas in them, on his yacht in the Mediterainian.

On the other hand, read where the BBC is offering the man 1.3 million pounds to stay on in the role.

That's a lot of haggis, people.

Makes this week's 85 dollar pay check of mine, seem like...hell, not even pocket change to a guy like that. Take the cash, David, don't be a prawn! Trust me, if there's one thing, and only one thing that well I know, it's that poverty sucks!

Okay, okay, I've calmed down. I'm still not entirely convinced--I mean, I want to have absolute faith in "slayme's" comments, but then, I ask myself how one of my fellow Americans (well, he sounds American) would have the inside scoop? Even if he works in the TV industry in some capacity over here (I don't know that, I'm just speaking hypotethically)how would he know that, I am not sure...well, anyway I decided to throw caution to the wind, and to trust "slayme," though, and despite my jaded feelings towards my fellow human beings these days (a telemarketer's hazard), I will take the gent at his word and sit on the fence until the jury is in and all the cows are back in the barn.

So, no more talk of Dr Who, then.

There's loads of other things I can write about. Having had to sit through all of those "writing intensive" courses at my two colleges in the first half of this decade, reckon I should try and make some use out of it...don't need many writing skills, as a telemarketer...which is fine, I did a tiny bit of voice and public speaking studies at school, as well..so at least I'm putting that to use.

Well, as some of you know, I was a horse-crazy kid. Never owned one, of course--tho' I did talk mum and dad into buying me a cheap used--very used, western saddle, for my 15th birthday, so I could take western lessons at the hunting/jumping stable up the road from us, in Loundonville.

In high school, in my senior year, back when I was 18, I was in this "apprenticeship" programme--it was an experimental programme, that allowed 4th year students to go out and try out a career for a month.

Well, I ended up at "Mill Pond Stables." This was a semi-posh western and hunt seat stable, about 4 or 5 miles from our school. It boasted 50 horses and an indoor arena with tiered seating for horse show audiences, also a tack shop and big lounge, and vending machines (my first introduction to coffee--it was awful!) It had a tannoy, and..well, for a stable of that era, it was rather posh.

The owner was thin, stooped cowboy who was always wearing a hat--one day, a horse snatched it off his head, and I found out why he never took his hat off: vanity. The man was as bald as an egg.

He taught "western balanced riding" known then as the "Monty Foreman Method." I still to this day, prefer to ride "balanced," even when being taught by other instructors.

Anyway, the owner wasn't thrilled with my being there--seems he was full up of stable rats, as we horse-crazy girls were sometimes unattractvely called. It's sort of like a mall brat, but we preferred to look at new saddles in the tack shop and discuss points of confirmation, rather than gaze at clothing in the mall and discussing boys.

So, the owner would manage to find stupid little jobs for me to do: clean the glass globes in the light fixtures in the lounge, take apart and put away the jumps, toss hay to the horses in the stalls, water down the sand-filled big indoor ring with a hose--oh, there was a fun and rewarding job...not. But, I was around horses, so no complaints from me.

But...the owner had just a bit of a mean streak in him. He used to focus it on a boy who worked there, but when the kid quit, suddenly, it was my turn.

Now, the pranks were usually harmless: one time I was strutting about like a peacock, 'cos my mum and dad had just bought me a beautiful shiny new pair of western riding boots. It was while I was watering the ring, he came in with the tractor and the harrow, on the pretence of smoothing the rink, knowing all the while that I would come out of it, coated with an inch of sand--looking for all the world like I'd just slogged through a sandstorm for miles. He got himself a big laugh out of that...and the combination of the spray from my hose and the "sandstorm"....well, my shiny black boots were caked brown. Took me weeks to get them shiny again. (Hence the nickname "dustyboots" was born.)

Another time, he asked me to take over the till in the tack shop, while he ran out to the vending machine for a soda. Well, I went to ring up a sale, and the till drawer popped open--and there was a great big ugly rubber spider in there. Yes, I yelped. I hate spiders. The "customer" was in on it, too, and they both had another good laugh off of me.

But one time, one of his little pranks nearly back-fired on him, in a serious way.

The owner was training a young colt in the indoor, and he dismounted and asked me to take the horse in to the stable area, and untack him. Okay, he'd never asked me to do that before, but I was young and naive, right?
I was actually quite chuffed at being given such a big responsibility, as it was a 30,000 dollar reining furturity prospect--so this futurity prospect was owned by RCA records or some such. And incidentally, that amount of money shelled out for him in 1979, would be like 80,000 today, roughly. I mean, I was REALLY chuffed to be given his care!

Yeah. Not for long.

The owner handed me the reins, with that wicked grin on his face....and too soon, I found out why. As soon as I got halfway to the gate, the colt took the bit in his teeth and began dragging me along with him. Now, as I recall, the horse weighed probably 800 pounds, and I'd yet to be taught how to control an unruly horse properly.

Well, it might have been okay, but just as we got to the closed gate, someone came along and opened it, to bring another horse in.

The colt--with me still holding the reins, literally bolted through the open gate, and out into the stable aisle--dragging me--and I do mean, dragging, because idiot girl here, was too damned shocked to just let go, out through the barn. It was when he headed for the partly open door, that I was almost killed--because it was only open wide enough for the horse...not for a horse and some stupid teenager.

Just as I was about to have my head bodily flung into the edge of huge solid metal sliding door--inches from it, the old lightbulb went off in my head. You know, the one that said, "Doh--let go, you moron!"

Of course, was the owner upset that I almost got decapitated? Nahh-he was ticked off because I let the horse get loose! I got so, I really wasn't very fond of that man, after a while. I may be slow, but I do get there eventually.

That's It! If this is for real, I QUIT. I mean it. I'm fed up with life jerking me around--now even by my favourite tele programme! NO. I'm not putting up with it. I won't be LIED to. It's not right. I've had so much unhappiness--why did they have to ruin the ONE joy I had left to me?

David Tennant and Russel T. Davies really had me beliveing that all would be as usual, next year--then, this gets thrown in my face. Stinking liars.

It isn't him regenerating--it's the fact that they wanted to be all cute and secretive about it, and not preparing me for it--I don't like bad surprises. It hurts! This SUCKS.

My 25 year love of Dr Who has just ended tonight. Screw this. I've 2 "Classic" DVD's I watch them. Bloody cheap chav low-brow stunts weren't part of the old series, let me tell you.

LIfe sucks and then you die, people. For me, that's the bottom line.

I just got back a while ago from the health center and read the responses to my previous post(s).

I haven't had a chance to respond to them yet, but I'll try to get 'round to it, later.

I'd like to think that this is just RTD's way of going out with a "bang."

Personally speaking, I absolutely don't like "flashbacks"---not in literary or any other form, except in very small doses. For example, either to give a wee bit of back story, or as exposition. But, it's not like I have any say in the matter, and if the "flashback" scenario materializes, I will just have to bite the bullet and hope Tennant can pull it off.

I will say that the "Split personality/Doctor's" theroy intriques me a great deal. I could live with that. Probably not the case, though.

It wasn't, I want to stress, the Doctor's dying--I actually had an inkling of that, a few months ago--having seen a blurb about him being shot by a Dalek back in April...didn't mention it as it was too major a spoiler.

No, I'm just a wee incensed about how this whole thing was handled...sneaky and underhanded isn't something I cotton to--God help me, I've got enough of that living under the Bush regime administration, ha-ha.

If I hadn't read and heard Tennant talking about his stint as the Doctor next year, I wouldn't have been so taken aback by what I've read tonight, on blogs and forums all over the 'net.

Bottom line is--this is what I consider a BAD surprise. Nancy doesn't like bad surprises. Nancy is, in fact, sick to death of bad surprises. (My first morning's post today, should give you a hint of that.)

THAT'S what I'm ticked off about.

But thank you all, for trying to calm me down, it is deeply appreciated. Let's just say this isn't the best day for me to get more bad news.

___________________________________________________________________

In other news from my side of the pond:

Well, the nurse at the health center says that both my blood count is 9.1, and my sugar is 327. What that means is my blood count is nearing the stage where if it goes any lower, I will need a transfusion again. And my blood sugar is way too high, and she gave me an insulin shot.

I'm mildly scared, because I can feel my mental abilities slipping away from me today---I cannot spell perfectly ordinary words--words I never had trouble spelling before, I simply cannot remember--, and I am having problems concentrating on typing.

She said it will be okay, once the Procrit shots take effect, that the mild semi-dementia I'm experiencing, probably will be only temporary...it's that "probably" that troubles me, quite frankly. Second to being homeless, losing my mind is my second-worst nightmare...something I always dread, knowing I'm bi-polar.

Well, we had one heck of a rain storm--the rain was so hard, I could actually hear it while I was in the shower. I came out to the front room, to find the floor under the window all wet--the rain had obviously driven sideways through the balcony window, right into the room---thankfully, it didn't quite reach the electrical OMG--I can't remeber the name.....oh, extenstion cord (see what I mean? This IS scary!) the cord was nearly right uder the window....thank heaven's it stayed dry!

Well, I've some chores to do--the washing up is calling me to the kitchen sink. I hate washing dishes--after the dishwasher quit at the Old Faithful caf, where I worked in Yellowstone Natl. Park in the summer of '80, I was pulled off the grill and made the dishwasher--you haven't lived 'till you've stood over a hot, steamy, smelly wall-length machine for 10 hours (on a busy day we might average 1000 customers an hour) a day, pushing rack after rack of mucky plates in and pulling red-hot dishes out. Or spent 40 minutes scrubbing burnt on baked beans out of a really mucky pot. I HATE washing dishes, ha-ha.

I mean it.

He regenerated and David Tennant LIED, the little creep.

So much for me thinking he was a nice guy.

Screw this show and it's dirty little secrets.

I don't like being LIED to.

I don't like bad surprises. Haven't I had enough of that cr*p in my life?

THIS SUCKS. I QUIT. No more crushing news. I'm sick of this.

Up yours, David and Russll. You stinking, lying bastards.

Oh, I just read that the Doctor's going to regenerate. Now, I don't object to actor's leaving the show, they have their life.

But, David Tennant has PUBLICALLY said that he's going to be filming the four Dr Who specials next year---so did he lie?

And if he did--that was a really low-brow thing, and I would be so disgusted with this type of ploy, that no matter how much I love the show (and I do love it, with all my heart) I would STOP watching the new series.

Doctor Who has been one of the few things that's kept me going, these past two years. As life has continually dragged me through hell, the one bright spot (aside from my friends--I'm not so shallow as to put them second to a television programme), the one shining light for me, has been Dr Who.

Time after time, it's take me away from things that came near to driving me into, quite frankly, ending it all.

The last thing I need is to shattered by a bald-faced lie. That would be a scummy thing to do to the fans. Staging a secret regeneration, merely for shock value.

I think Tennant is the best actor to have bring the character of the Doctor to life, but certainly would NEVER begrudge him leaving...he has a life of his own and a mind of his own, and by gosh, that's certainly his right to make that decision.

I hope this is only a teaser, to get keep us all on pins and needles until Christmas of 2008. I hope it is. I don't think I can take any more disappointments or shocks...even from a TV show.

A short while ago, out of curiosity I checked my visitor stats--not pageviews, but visits--it was just over 900 visitors so far today--"Whoa," I thought, "that's quite a lot, isn't it?"

But, apparently not. In the last 20 minutes, my stats went to 2000+ visitors. WHAT THE ____???

Anybody else seen their stats suddenly go flipping wild today? Very strange! It's not like I'm writing anything riveting or scandalous! Weird, weird.

It looks as if there may be a storm moving in--it's clouding up and the breeze is freshing, and there's that pre-storm feel to the air...that ominous electrical feeling anyone who's spent a lot of time outdoors (such as moi) knows quite well.

Flame is such a clever, clever little girl-cat. If she feels that I'm not paying enough attention to her while I'm keyboarding away, she starts getting all cute, waving her paw at me, or making chirrping noises...NOW she's figured out that if she plonks her arse directly in front of the monitor screen, I HAVE to notice her! She's a pain in the bottom some times, but I do love her...she's quite the character. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I was supposed to make up some hours at work today, but around quarter to noon, I almost passed out getting up from my chair so opted to sit a while....going to the health center in a bit to get checked out--might need a blood transfusion, or it might only be my wonky blood sugar again (I'm out of testing strips for my glucose monitor, so I don't know. so I'm sitting with my feet up, waiting it out to I feel well enough to grab a cab to go see the nurse.

Wow, man. This isn't one of my pranks, by the way, this is a perfectly serious post.

I said the other day, that I genuinely feel sorry for the gentleman, what with all the overly-entusiastic girls hounding his every step--I mean, how insane must it be for him?

The man probably can't even go out with his mates to the pub, or shopping in public any longer, without getting mobbed--and it must be especially awkward, knowing the age of some of his younger admirers.

I've repeatedly read where the actor is very kind and gracious towards his fans, which under the circumstances is really is something I genuinely find both amazing and admirable about the gent. My thought is that Mr. Tennant must be a good man to be able to still do that, and not get jaded by all the craziness and intense attention, or angry or frustrated...tho' I'm sure sometimes he must feel at least a little that way, somewhere deep down. He's just a regular bloke--albeit a highly talented one-- after all, and not an all-knowing, powerful alien, like his character, the Doctor.

Now, I make my jokes and stuff quite frequently about David T. on here, but not out of obsession (I haven't been a "fan-girl" in 25 or 30 years), I merely have a laugh at him, because the man's just so...expressive.

He makes it easy to have an innocent laugh at his expense. Like making "stupid" jokes about Bush is easy, so is making "sex-fiend" jokes about Mr. Tennant.

Still, I suppose that it would happen sooner or later, that a nutter would fly out of the woodwork, and begin stalking the man. A fellow fan-fic writer at that. She's giving the rest of us SERIOUS fan fiction writers a bad name, and I wish she'd get some therapy and leave the poor man to get on with his life.

Here's the scoop:

Doctor Who star David Tennant has a stalker that writes sci-fi versions of Shakespeare plays.

"Sadly, the only thing she and Ophelia have in common is their madness. And David is afraid, very afraid."

Ahem--drawings of them "being friendly in the Tardis?" Ewww--I'm trying not to picture what that REALLY means.

Story taken from another website (sorry, forgot the name) and attributed to the Daily Star. Great nostril shot, by the way. Glad to see he clips his nose hair--now if he'd just wax those legs.

You know, I've often found that it's the simple things, that truly matter most in this life.

I mean, I've had my moments in the sun, been truly blessed with some fabulous experiences and truly memorable adventures. Things that some people never get to have, in all of their life times. And I do appreciate that, really I do.

But, strangely enough, I've found that its those little, simple, totally insignificant moments, those memories of everyday things--that meant absolutely nothing to me, when they were happening..just perfectly ordinary days in an ordinary life....those are the things now, that spring into my memories, as I lay awake at night, thinking about home and love and family.

Things like: shopping with my mum, growing up. Going somewhere in the car with my parents, hanging out at Little's Lake up the road with the the other kids on our street, mum treating me to an ice cream sundae at Woolworth's lunch counter, riding my bike, the village's annual (volunteer) fireman's picnic every summer, sitting in the shade of the two enormous hackberry trees in our front yard on a hot summer's day listening to the leaves blowing in the wind, mowing the lawn, teaching my half-collie shamrock a new trick, mum and I ordering pizza or a bucket of spaghetti from Papa's Corner Restaurant and watching The Rockford Files and Quincy on TV every Friday night, the first time I ever danced with a boy in high school, walking in the woods with the dogs, lying on my bed in the room I grew up in listening to the radio, helping mum at the library....things I always took for granted, never thought twice about.

These little mental snapshots of my past, that never thought a thing about, have become more special to me, than any overseas trip, or award or graduation or dream come true.

Perhaps, it is because I lost my home--twice? Perhaps when dad and mum died, when all of my aunts and uncles died, and my sister distanced herself from me and my parents, in the late 70's (long story--but, we love each other, and care about each other--yet, we're really more like strangers, sometimes).

Anyway, once you lost--truly lost for all time--and all of the ties that bind you to your past are completely severed, when you know with a bitter finality, that you can never touch those moments--those feelings, ever again. That the people and the interactions of those moments are now only pictures in your mind, emotions in your heart, that they are no longer real...maybe then the "simple" things we always took for granted, become more valuable to us than any all of the grander moments, put together.

I don't know. It's just the way I feel. I don't even know if what I wrote here, even makes sense to anyone else.

My mum and my dog Shamrock, in our driveway, August 1979. (click to see larger pic)

Since the neo-cons have won their huge victory over their right to bare arms (personally I don't think the sleeveless look is all that attractive), the producers of Doctor Who have decided to do a strictly American version of the show, adding scenes of gratuitous sex and violence to replace any meaningful dialog, and also replacing the Doctor's sonic screwdriver with an automatic rifle.

Members of the National Rifle Association, the far-right conservatives, Evangelical Christians, and 80 percent of the American population--those that could actually comment coherently without dribbling drool down their chins, applaud the change, and welcome the "New, New" Doctor Who, with open (locked an loaded) arms.

I need to take my mind off of things this morning, so I'm off to do yet another meme. Thought I'd give poor wee David Tennant a break today...well, at least for this morning, as I posted a DT teaser last night before bedtime.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Don't own a car since August 2006, but when I was in college, it was mostly textbooks and the usual rubbish a continual commuter often accrues. Post-college, usually nothing but maybe an extra jacket and my cowboy hat, in case it rained or snowed, and my tape recorder and mix tapes, so I could play music when my wonky car radio decided not to work.

2. When was the last time you threw up?

I had a stomach virus last week.

3. Whats your favorite curse word?

Not that I don't, but I honestly don't like cursing. If I had to say, it would probably be "shit."

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?

I haven't seen any people yet today, and have not got 'round to checking my PM's or e-mail's yet. However, the three cats made me smile when I woke--they always are happy to greet me when I wake in the morning.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
I was in the loo...erm....

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Opening my mail.

7. Have you ever been to a strip club?

Once. Some girls at the office (back when I was 25) talking me into going to see the Chippendale (male) dancers. It was....okay, but not my idea of a good time...quite frankly, I only remember getting a headache from listening to all the drunk, screaming women.

8. What is the last thing you said aloud?

"What the hell??!!?? I don't believe this!!!

9. When is your birthday?

October

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?

Starbucks's coffee-fudge swirl

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Diet orange soda pop

12. What are you wearing right now?

my holey old Vermont Symphony Orchestra tee shirt, and my pyjama bottoms.

13. What is the last thing you ate?

Cold slice of pepperoni pizza.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

With an 85 dollar pay check? What, are you mad?

15. When was the last time you ran?

Since I blew out my right foot, it's no longer physically possible for me to run--however, I did "jog-hop" to catch the bus, the other day.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?

I don't get tele, but watched golf on the tele in the ER's waiting room, last week.

17. What's the last sport you played?

Horsehoe pitching. I had a home-made horseshoe pitch when I owned my trailer--that would be in 2005.

18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
I'm on myspace, but never actually used it. Decided it was just a wee bit too public for my taste--and had too many shallow people on there, quite frankly (sorry if any of you are on Myspace--I'm referring to other people, ha-ha)

19. Ever go camping?

Quite a few times growing up---strictly in the back yard. Once in Wyoming wilderness when I was 19, once in the Adirondacks (decades before I lived here) when I was about 13 years old.

20.Do you have a tan?

Not since I worked as a groom and/or flea market vendor--the early 90's...tho', I used to be in the car so much, back when I was commuting to school in Vermont and chauffering my sick mum around, that my left arm (which hangs out the open driver's side window) did actually develop "driver's tan."

21.Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?

A quarter.

22.What is your guilty pleasure?

Coffee and a donut.

23.Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?

(Snort.)

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?

Only when it comes in a take-away cup.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?

Don't know, probably very little.

28. Where is your mom right now?

In an unmarked grave in Albany Rural Cemetery.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?

My computer tower, two speakers, and a mini model horse wearing a miniature horse rug and halter.

30. What color is your watch?

Haven't carried a watch on me in ages.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?

Sydney Opera House, Outback, Aussie saddles.

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?

Twice. A kiddie coaster when I was a child, and the Steamin' Demon at the Great Escape.

33. What is your birthstone?

No idea.

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive through?

Both (if in a cab, usually the drive-through, to avoid having to pay for "wait time")

35. What is your favorite number?

don't have one

36. Do you have a dog?

Yes and no. I adopted a chow mix that had been abandoned at the shelter where I was working, in order to re-condition her to a home surrounding again (She'd been trumatised and was scared of people)...technically, I'm still listed as her owner--because..well it was about the rules regarding fostering/adoptions and was complicated.

I eventually turned her over to a friend of my mum's-- whom had five acres of land, another dog, and kids. I'm pleased to say that "Spooky," is a happy, well-adjusted dog, these days. She's still always thrilled to see her original "mum" though, the few times I've been able to visit her.

From my teens to early 20's, my best friend was my half-collie Shamrock, whom even 25 years later, I still very much miss and grieve for. She was a very special animal, and I'll never see her like again.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?

Virgin mobile, two days ago, trying to sell me something.

38. Have you met anyone famous?

Talked to Al Pacino on the phone (what a JERK!), gave directions to Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood, walked by Paul Newman in the local shop (but didn't bother him), Met the woman who played Urhura on Star Trek, Shook hands with the guy that played C-threepio (can you tell I used to go to sci-fi conventions), met Ian Marter from Dr Who, and some famous rapper with a ridiculous name rode my ride that I was operating back when I worked at Great Escape. (I'm really not into the whole celebrities thing, by the way.)

39. Any plans today?

Laundromat in another hour and get my medicines from the pharmacy, then off to work for two hours.

40. How many provinces have you lived in?

State of Wyoming for 3 months. "Lived" in a dorm in Friesland province for two weeks, Central/western NY (outside Syracuse) for 6 months--northeastern New York (Upper Hudson Vally and souther Adirondacks) the rest of the time.

41. Ever go to college?

yes. Horsemanship/stable management 1979/80 (college drop-out, much to my ever-lasting shame).

I graduated from the local 2-year community college here with a AA degree in Liberal Arts/Humanities, in 2003 (talk about a useless degree), then transferred to a college in Vermont for my 4-year degree in theater management (but changed to communications major when theater classes became grossly over booked).

Forced to drop out for financial and personal reasons (Bush's college funding cuts and mum's sudden death), one year shy of getting my BA in communications. (can you tell I'm still mildly bitter, ha-ha?)

I also hold a certificate in Culinary Arts I, and have taken Heavy (construction) equipment operation and horticulture/floral design courses.

42. Where are you right now?

In my front room.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?

The ten bills the US department of education just sent me--again.

44. Last song listened to?

Kaiser Chief's "Angry Mob."

46. Are you allergic to anything?

Vicodin, certain theatrical make-up, certain perfumes and (very mildly) pine dust/pollen.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My brown Ariat Jameson boots

48. Taste in your mouth right now?

Bleh.

49. Are you jealous of anyone?

Every single person who works on Dr Who, ha-ha.

50. Is anyone jealous of you?

You've got to be kidding!

51. Do you love anyone?

Never been in love, but I love my cats, I love my sister/nephew, and I love my friends...and I know he's not real, but I do love the Doctor...who wouldn't, he's one cool dude (the character, I mean)

52. Do any of your friends have children?

Yes, one does.

53. Do you eat healthy?

Meh--healthier than I used to, since becoming ill last year, surely. But, I don't--and never will, obsess about it.

54. What do you usually do during the day?

Since becoming ill, rest a lot. Go out to work telemarketing. Do odd chores around the apartment, listen to music, blog, write fan-fic, watch Dr Who and/or old flims, play card games on the 'puter. That's about it, really.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?

The US Department of Education...and always, George W. Bush.

58. Do you own any big sunglasses?
No. my old eyeglasses have transition lenses--darken on their own in high light conditions.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?

shit. I used to work there.

60. How did you get one of your scars?

Flipped over the handlebars of my ten-speed bike, flew across the street and landed on my face (mouth).

MISSED THESE ONE'S:

25. Last time you travelled by bus?
Last night to the store. Or, if you mean "traveled" like in a holiday, last month by coach to downtown Saratoga Springs for the afternoon.

26. What do you never leave the house without?
Clean underwear--always wear clean underwear--trust me, mum's advice was quite good about that...you never know when you'll be sprawled out on an ER gurney with nothing but that and a flimsy gown that's guarenteed to expose your backsides to the entire world, the minute you stand up.

clothing, of course. And, the keys to my apartment.

I don't believe this!!!!

First, the US Department of Education sends me TEN bills yesterday--today they sent me TEN more. That's over 2500 dollars of bills in two flipping days!

I wish I was dead, then I wouldn't have to deal with horrible crap any longer.

Bush has taken away any protections I might have....I'm literally being stalked via post by my own government. This is insane!

It's not like I don't want to re-pay my student loans, it that I CANNOT repay my student loans--not without living on the street, or losing my life because I can no longer afford to care for myself (which I only am just barely managing to do, now).

Sometimes I am glad I don't own a gun--seriously, it does sometimes feel like death would be a wonderful release from all this misery and pain.

I'm NOT suicidal, okay? I'm just expressing how it feels for me, when I have to deal with this stuff.

It's knowing that I'm going to be in debt until my death--and even after my death, that I'm always, always, going to live under the constant threat by my own government, of utterly losing what little I've managed to still hold on to...why bother?

I went back to college to make my life better, to give myself a chance to finally find my dreams, to give myself an actual future--and yet, by doing so, I've dragged myself down to a dark, black hole, a shuddering horror, a pit of abject despair that I can never-ever pull myself out of.

Being bi-polar sucks, being depressed sucks, being poor sucks, having no future sucks, working in a totally dead-end benefit-less job sucks, being sick and not being able to see a real doctor and get all the medical care I truly need sucks, living under the continual threat of homelessness really, really sucks.

But, being poor and a US citizen, with far fewer legal protections then my wealthier neighbours --that's grounds for a plea to another country for asylum.

I'm kidding about that last line, of course---well, mostly.

I don't know. I really have a hard time trying to find a reason for my existence, some days. By that I mean, I feel utterly useless--like I'm just taking up space. I mean, look at me! I have no family to speak of, no partner, no useful job, no useful...anything. What am I good for, these days? Let's face it, to the world around me, I am nobody--which is fine, someone has to be nobody, might as well be me. But, it's knowing that I have no place in life, any longer, no genuine value to anyone--except to my far-off friends, bless them. But here, now, right in this tiny little northern New York city, tucked away in the Adirondack foothills, I am nothing to no one. I'm here, I'm not here--the only one's who'd notice would be my cats. That's simply---and literally--the truth. It's really hard, some days, not to feel like a total loser, really it is.

Well, never mind. Who cares? People have their own issues to deal with, and I don't suppose my whigning about my petty problems is going to help, or change the way things are.

I can wish all I want for change, for something to happen to turn me around enough so I can look forward to living again, so I can feel useful and purposeful again...but, who am I kidding? It's in my make-up. It's my destiny to be like this. Oh, I've had some success in life, some wonderful things happen. But, I have to face facts. And that is, that, ultimately, my very reality, my mental weaknesses and emotional instability, dictate that I will always fail, in whatever I try. No one will ever magically come charging up on a white steed, to prop me up and help me stand firmly on even ground. I alone am responsible for the way I am, for what happens to me, for my own uselessness, no one else. I accept that.

I am depressed, and all I can do is just try to roll with the punches right now, to keep from being flattened. I want to go to bed and stay there--but that's not my style. I know I just have to suck it up and keep going, pretend to the "outside" world that I'm fine. But, some days, that's much easier said than done.

End of a rotten day.

First I woke up feeling weak and shaky.

Then the 85 dollar pay check--my sole funds at the moment, which have to last 6 days (Thanks to the huge jump in food prices, I just spent 50 of it on my weekly shopping--even with the sales), and I still, as of yet, haven't done the laundromat thing, or bought my medicine.

THEN, I get no less than TEN identical collection notices in my post, from the US Dept. of Education....all telling me to pony up $132+ EACH--that's over 1300 dollars...more than my monthly income...AND sternly threatening me with legal action, and listing all the bad things they're going to do to me.

So, yeah. If I was depressed before, I've got even more reason to be, now.

I am watching Doctor Who. It's not prescribed by a physician, but I gotta' say, that watching the Doctor, is one heck of an antidepressant.

It seems that students and parents attending a high school graduation ceremony at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center in Saratoga Springs, NY, got more than they bargained for. The ceremony came balls up during the commencement, Thursday morning. While while Saratoga public (state) school district officials were busy handing out diplomas, an anonymous person dressed in a costume representing male genetailia--okay, let's cut to the chase:

A guy dressed as a giant balls and penis ran across the stage in front of 5000 students and family members.

Now there's one graduation photo I'm sure the grandparent's will be proud to show off. And now, the class of 2008 will be remembered as the "streaking penis class," I reckon.

The penis guy was a captured a short time later, after he tripped over the costume's..erm--"balls", while trying to exit the building (YES--I'm serious).

The perp was reveled to be a former student from a local trailer park, whom graduated from the school just the year before, in 2007. The former student, known by his nickname, "C-money"--supposedly because of his fondness for comics, was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, and then was released pending a court appearance.

Saratoga Springs City Police Sergent, Sean Briscoe, said that the giant, inflatable penis was being held..., erm-- for evidence. (as reported in the Post-Star by THOMAS DIMOPOULOS)

I'm sure C-Money's mum and dad must be so proud of him.

So many people have been sending me quizzes lately I thought I'd just make up my own original one, and answer it myself.

I tag no one--you are free to copy and paste this to your heart's content, if you so desire.

Nancy's 10 questions meme:

Probably that would be both "A" and "D". I mean, stuff happens, but...Do you KNOW how expensive silk tops are, these days?

Here we see an exclusive photo of actor David Tennant, disguising himself as a tourist from Lithuania. Tennant, whose nationality is Scottish, refused to be interviewed, but kept on walking, repsonding in a bad Eastern European accent: "No speak English. Big Brother Rocks. God Save Queen. I go eat McDonalds'. Have'a nice day." Word is that the actor has become so besiged by amorous fan-girls, that he has even taken to wearing women's clothing--oh wait, sorry. He was doing that before he was famous.

Drat! I missed the bus! I needed something to do to pass the 30 minutes 'till the next one came 'round. Stupid buses and their stupid bus schedules--I hate Glens Falls, sometimes.

Well, off to the store. Raided drawers, the dirty laundry hamper, under the bed and my living room chair...all for loose change. I'll be needing it.

I haven't a thing to eat in the house so must dash off to the market. All I've had today is a cheese sandwich and a little tiny tub of yoghurt. Not good for my blood sugar. Tight budget this week--lots of 50 cent boxes of macaroni and cheese mix, hot dogs and peanut butter sandwiches in my future, I fear. I'd go to a food pantry, but need a car to do that. Last time I took a cab there, the woman said snarkly, "...but you could afford a cab to get here?" Yeah, like I'm capable of carrying 25 or 30 pounds of boxed food, a mile through the city? I don't get government disability 'cos I'm flipping healthy and fit, sweetheart!

Clouding up a bit, there's storms just to our north in Lake George, but no rain here, yet. Supposed to storm on and off, for the next few days.

Oh well, don't feel like grabbing a bus,but suppose I should get off the stick and do it. Cheers.

Visitors to Lake George can now view a fake shipwreck, just offshore. "Bateaux Below" a local archaeological underwater preservation group, commissioned a middle school (upper primary) industrial arts class, to build a fake shipwreck.

During the French and Indian War (Queen Anne's War), the British at the fort(s) by the lake, sank hundreds of bateaux boats under Lake George, to preserve them in the cold winter water, until they needed them again--which they did during a battle months later.

Many of the remains of these wrecks are now underwater archaeological sites for divers. But, a lot of tourists don't dive--so, they had a replica built--one that was deliberately "aged" to look like one of the real wrecks under the 32 mile long Lake George. The fake was "sunk" into 4 feet of water, near the Lake George village visitor centre, along with a plaque that describes what people are viewing.

Well someone just e-mailed me a Dr Who spoiler--I hate when people do that, without warning. One minute he's talking about Midnight...the next he says..."Oh I just read where at least one character's going to die."

Oh well. Maybe it'll be that annoying Mickey, ha-ha. (Just kidding, Mickey fans.)

I have to say though, the acting has been so incredible in this series--I mean, it's never bad...DT really blew me away in the ending of Midnight, and Tate was so great in Turn Left. Can't knock the supporting players, either. How the heck will they possibly top this finale?

And, if the death is the Doctor, I'm not going to have nice things to say about Tennant, as he's publicly said he's going on to do the specials....lying about something like that would be a really low-brow thing to do, and Tennant doesn't strike me as ever being capable of mean humour, so I'm thinking a companion--or maybe two...or three? With Davies writing it, anything goes.

1. Grab the nearest book and turn to page 186. Write down the fifth sentence you find there.

"The Fallen warrior was Tall Bull, one of the ablest chiefs the Sioux ever had."

2. What are you reading right now? What made you chose that particular thing?

I'm reading the sentence 'what are you reading right now?'

Oh, you mean a book? Just watched a clip of Olivier in Hamlet on Youtube, so last night I browsed through my old Monarch Notes book on Hamlet I used in my World Lit class in college, a couple of years back. Why? I dunno', just...because I felt like it?

I also read West Wing and Dr Who fan-fics online--because there's some really terrific fan fiction writers out there. And I am slowly working my way through an online book, "The Affair at Styles" by Agatha Christie, as well--reading it because I've never gotten 'round to reading one of her stories and thought I'd give it a go. And, some online newspapers in the US and UK, too.

3. Your dream home is a:

a little cottage in the country...with a couple of pets...and a fireplace (always wanted to sit and read by a fire)...and a screen porch (to ward off the bugs)..with a tiny swimming pool, a place to have a BBQ, and a horseshoe pitch...maybe room inside for a train set or a pool table...and a good stereo to play tunes on, all so I can stay home and have fun and relax.

4. Sum up your life in six words only:

"She was born, later she died."

5. Would you rather be a nerd or one of the "beautiful people?"

I think I'd be more comfy as a nerd.

Just accidentally posted a post that I meant to be private to the public blog--whoops. It's gone now, sorry. I was just being all depressed and letting out with a massive whinge and moan session, so you didn't miss anything.

Need to punch myself out of my doldrums today. Don't know if I'm gonna' be able to do that, but I'll give it a go.

Off to try and make $20 or $25 dollars stretch for a week, for me and the cats.

I was hoping against hope to have some funds free and clear for the big 4th of July (Independence Day) holiday weekend, next week...LOL. Next week, I've the rent, the internet bill and a chunk of the National Grid bill to set money aside for...and the shopping and laundry, besides. So much for celebrations...but I suppose I could always have a picnic on out my balcony--not the same, I know, but something's better than nothing.

I don't have much in the way of jewelry--just a few pins and a couple of silver pendants/necklaces, no rings, nothing much of any value--think my most "expesnisve" item is the pin mum bought me--my last birthday gift from her--made from an antique glass and brass bridle ornament:

But there was a pendant she purchased for me, back about 15 years ago, that was very special to me, and now, after spending a month looking for it, I have to face the fact that it's lost forever. Mum surprised me with it--wasn't even my birthday or anything, because she said she saw it and instantly knew that it was "me." And, she was right. I was so delighted with it--and touched by her love, as well.

It was a silver filigree heart, set in the center with a small round, polished bright saphhire-coloured paua shell from Hawaii. It was my favourite piece of jewelry ever. And now...gone. I'm likely never to see it again--and as far as I know, another cannot be had, even if I had the funds to replace it. I'm just so shattered about it.

The heart looked something like this, only much finer in quality, and it hung on a 24 inch silver chain:

David Tennant goes into meltdown, after the BBC was ordered by media watchdogs Ofcom and Mediawatch, to eliminate all snogging on children's programmes, including Doctor Who.

(See? He really DOES drool.)

Another damp, overcast morning here. Woke feeling weak as a newborn kitten, trembling and barely able to stand--suspect either high blood sugar or low blood count...or both. Have to try and take it easy, today. Unfortunately, it's pay day, and as I'm out of nearly everything, I do have to shop after work, and go to the pharmacy.

I found some sliced cheese in the 'fridge that's still good, and have one hot dog roll left, so with a bit of mustard on the cheese, that's breakfast, this morning. Gradually feeling a bit stronger...not sure what's going on with me. But, absolutely nothing I can do about it--no cash to spare for a doctor's visit this morning, so just will do my best to forge on today. My brain's having difficulties, though. I just wanted to check the weather forecast, and opted to Google it...and literally sat staring at the Google logo for a full minute, trying to remember what I wanted to use Google for. That's not a good feeling, let me tell you. Scary stuff, because it's not absent-mindedness...it's actually my brain, failing to function normally...knowing one is losing one's cognitive skills and memory, isn't a pleasant experience.

The sun's trying to make an appearence. It's only going to 80 F (21 C) today, but with 95% humidity, it's not going to be pleasant, like it's been, but a tropical steam bath...especially if the clouds clear off, as it appears they may do. Still, at the moment there's a nice breeze, at any rate.

Back in the seventies, before he became an antiques dealer, my cousin used to drive his horse across river--on the motorway, to his office at downtown Albany's busy main street--until he was told the manure was a problem.

Despite its wealth, the US has a really lousy public transport system. Unfortunately, the car maker's lobbying and the politicians stupidity ("America's too big, it would be too expensive"--doh--but we can send a space shuttle into outer space, and wage wars in far flung lands, for more than triple the expense?), dictate that we will never have alternative forms of motorized transpor). So, if you live in a suburban or rural area, or in an urban area and work in another town, and it's simply too far from work to walk, what else can you do?

Well, now that the price crisis has driven the price of gasoline to as much as $4.39 a gallon (in parts of NY state, anyway), some people are just saying "NO""---or rather, "neigh" to OPEC and the oil company executives.

A Washington state employer in a small town, was himself a horseman, and many of his employees, horse owners.

So, getting a special permit from the town, the boss had his employees saddle up and ride as a group to work---the other two, non-horsey employees rode their bicycles. All of them thumbing their noses to OPEC, in an effort to encourage their fellow Americans to find other ways to get to work, rather than using their cars. Let's just hope the cost of hay, oats and sweet feed doesn't go up.

You know, a lot of people assume--wrongly, I may add--that I'm into reading and books, because my late mum was a librarian/library director. Nope.

I was well into my early teens, by the time mum was hired by the village school board to replace the retiring librarian.

When I was just a wee child, I was terrible at reading. Then mum made me take reading classes when I was in...oh, think it was about second grade...about '67 or '68. She also made it a point to read to me. I remember she used to read me Dr Suess--Green Eggs and Ham, Fox in Sox, and "cartoon" books like Yogi Bear and Alvin and the Chipmunks. There Ferdinand the bull--who preferred to smell roses rather than attack the matador, and this picture book about a fable where the wind and the sun battled to see who would be the first to force some man to remove his cloak.

An author/illustrator would go on to become a life-long favourite of mine (still have 2 of his books--he wrote horse books for children to adults) C.W. Anderson's "Billie and Blaze" series--a wonderfully illustrated series of books for younger children, about a young boy and the adventures he had with his pony...and also "The Rumble Seat Pony," and The "Blind Connemera', later, my all-time favourite, "Afraid to Ride." And, there were loads of other horse books, like Thunderhoof, and Five O'Clock Charlie, and the like.

Mum tried in vain to get me to read other things besides horse stories...the elementary school's librarian, as well. Mum was very keen on Little Women (my middle name even comes from one of the characters in the book)...I found it tedious. She was only mildly successful with "Lassie Come Home." Probably 'cos I loved the "Lassie" Series on TV--the later one in the 60's, with the really cool forest ranger, not with that sappy farm kid, "Timmy" from the 50's. My 5th grade teacher tried to foist "The Secret Garden" on me--bleh! She had slightly better success, with the historical book (featuring Paul Revere and the Boston Tea Party, etc) called , Johnny Tremain. That made a bit of an impact on me--later I'd go on to read other books by that author--but, not 'till high school. Finally, the elementary school librarian loaned me a few books, a book of Aseop's Fables, and a book of fantasy stories, and King Arthur and the Round Table--The fables I thought were pretty cool--but King Arthur--well, for weeks after, I tried to get my friend Tommy to play knights with me, using a metal garbage can (dustbin) lid and a broom handle.

But, still continued (right up to this day) to love horse stories: "I'll Take Cappy, The Blue Roan, The Lonesome Sorrel, Dark Sunshine, The Horse Comes First were my particular favs, read over and over. I still have "Cappy," and "Sorrel" on my shelf.

Also, some of my fav horse books were made into films: Fury-wild stallion of Broken Wheel Ranch (also a 50's TV series), Midnight--story of a Bucking Horse , some of the Black Stallion series, The Medicine Hat Stallion (, Black Beauty , National Velvet, the Gypsy Colt, the very sad "The Red Pony (by John Steinbeck), My Friend Flicka (but not thunderhead, the sequel)...gosh, I read them all.

About this time, mum also introduced me to poetry. Topps Department store, in our village, had a book section in their children's toy department, and mum bought me a big, lovely picture book, chock full of poems about horses to go with them--thus began my appreciation of poetry.

The first "big" book I ever remember mum reading to me, was called, "King of the Wind--which I think was later made into a film. I think that actually is one of my happier childhood memories of my mum--her sitting on the edge of the lower bunk on the bunk-bed, reading the story aloud to me--at least twice, by request---that was the turning point. I THINK that I was about 9, and that's when my love or reading truly began. It wasn't my absolute favourite--tho' I've re-read it, even into adulthood, but it was a wonderful rags to riches story, and something about it just clicked with me--and...well, I think King of the Wind began my lifelong addiction to reading.

To both Jess and GilraenH who gave me their valuable in-put as to what I should do about Chapter 2 of Dark Holiday, I thank you.

In the end, I cut over 98% of chapter 2, and added roughly 2 new paragraphs..then put the new stuff at the beginning of Chapter 3, and next cut chapter 3 in half (it was a longer chapter than I had intended it to be) to make chapters 2 and 3. Hope that makes sense.

Here's the "new" chapter 2, with the new paragraphs put in place. Feedback is appreciated. The story (so far) in its entirety can be seen at:
http://davidtennantsdoctor.wordpress.com/doctor-who-dark-holiday/

Glowing brightly green, the Tardis’ central column slowly rose and fell, its ancient engines sounding like an out-of-tune musical saw. The Doctor was leaning back casually against the console chair, absently watching it move. His friend Donna, came into the room, dressed casually in designer jeans and a burgundy jumper. “I’m ready,” she announced cheerfully. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow in puzzlement. “Ready for what?” She frowned, “For wherever we’re going.” Then frowning deeper she asked, “We ARE going somewhere, Doctor? I mean, we’re not just taking the Tardis out to some cosmic garage for it’s ten-thousand light year oil change, or something, are we?”

Well, as I've posted before, I live in a dump...the floors in my apartment all slope from the edges downward, so it's virtually impossible for anything to actually lean against the walls, without tipping forward slightly, even with folded cardboard or other contrivances put under it, to level it off. That's how I got that concussion and laceration on my forehead, this New Year's Eve, past. And...tonight, we almost had a repeat performance.

Once again my medium sized bookcase tipped over, as I was sat on the floor, pulling a book out of the bottom shelf to re-read. Yikes! That was CLOSE. And, besides every blasted book falling out of the bookcase, all my knick-knacks on top fell with them--my heart was in my throat, as two of them are quite special to me (see below)---I THOUGHT I had the bookcase well--fixed. Uh, guess that's a no. So, I re-positioned it, yet again, found some more stuff to stick under there...hopefully, no more mishaps--I get the feeling this bookcase has a curse on it...with my name on it.

My mum's favourite doll--the only one I kept (my sister got the others):

A combination Christmas ornament and free-standing model horse (shown actual size) that's one of my absolute all-time favourites

Just seconds ago, someone from blog-land e-mailed me the link to this video, saying they thought I'd like this. I rather do, actually--quite a bit. Her name is Anna Neale, I think. What do you think? Have you ever heard her before? Who is she? Where's she from? She sounds American, but these days, you never know, anymore.

"No-no-no, Russell! That's not fair! You want me to order the moo-shoo pork, just so I can use the chopsticks to defeat the alien? But I was gonna' order the won-ton soup!"

Okay, what is this? Another offer to "Enhance" Nancy's woo-hoo. Okaaay. Nancy doesn't have a woo-hoo...I mean, my NAME should be a clue, yeah?

I mean, I have (much to my cringe-ment), been called "sir" once or twice. But really, no meat in my lunch box, guys, sorry.

More porn offers..they get worse than the "wetting in the bed" bit. Is anyone REALLY ever that desperate for sex, as to respond to sex-spam? Wow. Makes me reaaaalllly glad I'm an old maid.

I've even got "offers" addressed to my first name, from other women, offering to...well, do something that's not actually possible unless I get a sex change operation.

Ewwwww! I hate yahoo. Wish I'd never heard of it.

You know how some people get home-sick..well, I miss horses. I really, really do. During the off-series time, I miss Dr Who. A few months back, I got to missing the theater (at college), now I'm missin' horses...as you can probably tell by my theme today. Loved 'em since I was about 4 or 5 years old...I'll never be a great horsewoman, and yes, sometimes I'm afraid of them, but I'll never stop loving them and never tire of being in their magnificent, majestic presence.

A music video set to pics of horses from the big show Devon, Pennsylvania, this past spring, set to Five For Fighting tune:

I was just on another forum, one related to writing, and seems there was this fan-fiction thread, and several people on there were talking about writing Who-fic's, and one mentioned that he or she had a lot of hits on his/her Dr Who fan fiction website in the last several days.

I checked the stats on my two Who-fic blogs, and sure enough, I have had an unusual number of hits, as well. Usually my two wordpress blogs have been averaging one to three hits a day...but lately--just in the last couple of days, that number has almost doubled.

I wonder what's triggered the sudden interest in Doctor Who fan fiction--particularly it seems, David Tennant's Doctor/Donna fan fiction? Any ideas out there? Is there some article in a Dr Who magazine or website? Some blog? Seems a bit odd, but one never knows.

Usually you get more hits, before and after the series is done--from die-hard Whovian junkies looking for Who-fics---or as I call it, looking for a "Who fix." Not at all usual for this many searches for Who fiction, while the series is actually running.

Huh. Beats me with a stick if I can figure it out...but nice to know people are accessing my blog--even if some of them probably are only looking at the pictures, ha-ha.

Just being a John Denver fan-girl, with that lead....or is that too much information? Erm...well, he was cute with the dutchboy 'do and those granny glasses, when he was younger.

Anyway, home from work, to find a note from my PA at the health centre in the post. Seems I have a bad internal infection, and posted me a script for some antibiotics...this is the same doctor mind you, who told me less than two weeks ago, that she thought I DIDN'T have that particular infection...seems the hospital did some tests while I was in the ER the other day, and turned it up.

So, might account for my feeling so down and rubbish of late, dunno'.

Well, waiting for lunch to cook. Not very hungry so don't mind the wait so much...it can seem like forever, though, when I'm famished, as I sometimes am, with my current work schedule.

I reckon I might finish re-writing that rubbish chapter in my latest Who-fic story, "Dark Holiday." I haven't felt up to writing--I mean, you know, it's tough coming up with (what one hopes are) page-turning ideas, when I physically and mentally feel like a wet tea towel. At least I'm not almost literally falling asleep on my feet, today! Bother! That was an awful feeling. Well, my Who-fics aren't that good, anyway, so I don't suppose it matters much.

The kids upstairs are either shifting the entire contents of their apartment around, or holding a music-less rave, I haven't figured out which, yet, but they're making a horrendous racket on my ceiling. Bugger! I was hoping for a quiet afternoon here. Ah well. I miss the country so much, sometimes--tho' what with the chainsaws, ATV's and motorbikes and snowmobiles, it could be rather loud, at times. Not sure I'll ever get used to being a city girl, tho' I don't guess I have much choice in the matter.

Got a shnarky PM some foamy-mouthed rabid American gun freak, objecting to my being against gun control. Told me if I "didn't like America, why don't I leave?" I told him that if he wanted to give me the $10,000 to $20,000 it would take to relocate me and my cats...fine by me! I'd love to become a citizen in another country, as our Judicial branch has been blatantly hijacked by the neo-con's, whose only interperetation of the Constitution, is whatever twisted idea THEY have about it.

I also stated that I wasn't against guns--I was against the rabid, bigoted idiots that are allowed to use them.

I won't repeat the gun-sucker's response, let's just say it was anatomically impossible.

Hullo all,

Well, a bit more awake today, than yesterday, but stomach's not happy, and I'm away from my desk more than my employer would like me to be, but not because I'm being a slacker--not that they'd care.

More gun-lover's today to speak with--man, American gun owners are scary...Candians are so normal, it's such a difference when you talk to them--like day and night...or rather, like the difference between speaking to a spoiled, petulant child, and a mature, responsible adult. Not that Canadian gun owners can't be brusque--but at least THEY know how to properly speak on a telephone, and they don't get violently angry, throw tantrums and/or (mostly) talk rude to a lady. I've had guys swear at me three times today--and one of 'em was a wrong flipping number!

Anyway, half-way through my day, at least I've made some sales. My cubicle mate isn't happy with me--he's pro-gun freedom, and I'm not. I have no qualms about gun-ownership...just don't like Americans owning guns, 'cos they're so irresponsible, rude, irrational, narrow-minded, bigoted, childish and, too often, downright mean and hateful. Other than that, they're a great bunch of guys and gals.

Well, back to work. Have a nice afternoon everyone.

Good Morning blog-pals. Well, I think it's morning...what the heck day is it? If I were still a teenager, I'd definitely be whinging, "I don' wanna' go to school today, mom!" Heh-heh.

And,s after that oh-so-gorgeous perfect 10 of a day yesterday, naturally, today is grey and damp and gloomy. That's life, I guess.

Well, I haven't a clue what to have for breakfast, but gotta' find something. While I'm banging around the kitchen, here's something to help you start your day:

It's a great "road-trip" song, and also helps get you into gear, in the morning...at least that's what I keep telling myself. Not sure my body's listening, though.

Woke at 4am, can't get back to sleep. Damn.

I'm hungry, as well, and not a blessed thing to eat--at least nothing that doesn't require too much fuss...no bread, eggs, milk. Outta' most all of the basics.

All I've got left is a couple of hot dog buns, a split chicken breast(dinner tonight), some yogurt (which is frozen, 'cos I forgot to take it out of the freezer, yesterday), Some left over breaded fish fingers and some beer battered french fries (lunch today), some frozen broccoli, and a packet of instant Thai curry noodle soup. Well, I do have some margarine left, so I suppose I could butter the hot dog rolls and eat them--god, I can't wait for pay day...mind you, the internet bill just came in the post, and I missed a few day's work last week, 'cos I was sick--so, the grocery list will needs be lean again, this week. Damn.

Why is it, when the cupbord's well-stocked, I'm either too sick to eat, or my appetite's off...but when I'm down and out--THEN my body decides it's hungry again? Life sucks and then you die, people.

And on that less-than-cheery thought, I'll just pop off and try to get a couple hour's sleep before 7:15 rolls around. Cheers.

Having heart palpatations. I hate that, when I'm just sitting here, and my heart out of the blue, starts fluttering around in my chest like a Mexican jumping bean. Feels really weird.

I'm okay--no worries. These heart fluctuations aren't in any way dangerous, just mildly unsettling, because they come on so suddenly, and it can be hard to catch your breath for a few seconds.

Oh dear. Flame just spat at Boots--she's partly blind and gets upset if one of the boys gets to close to her unexpectedly...now Boots is yowling all over the apartment, feeling sorry for himself...sure the neighbours must love hearing that. Cats...sheesh. Worse than kids, sometimes. Well...maybe not.

I can't sleep! It's too late to putter about the house, don't feel like reading a book (that I've read already)...so what to do? Don't feel like writing any deep political, social or philosophical commentary.

Oh hell, why not talk about David Tennant?

Okay, I keep getting fan-girls sending love messages to DT on my blog, so here's my response to that:

WHY I WOULDN'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO DAVID TENNANT:

And the number one reason I wouldn't have sex with David Tennant:

My depression is worsening, despite my efforts to combat it. I've stopped writing to friends, stopped writing much of anything, really. Even my blog isn't very deep these days, most of the time.

No one really wants to hear my "deep" side--and probably that's why I don't talk to people much about it. People want to be amused, or shocked or hear happy stories...no one wants to hear about depression, or your feelings or philosophies. Tho', I guess I'm not the deepest well on the farm, or the sharpest tool in the box, when it comes to philosophy or rubbish like that.

It's not the worst bout of depression I've ever had--I mean, I'm not so sad or apathetic, as to be suicidal or anything like that.

It's just like I'm in neutral, sitting here like a fallen leaf, lying motionless on the earth beneath a tree, waiting, still and formless, vainly wishing for the airless wind to stir once more and blow me somewhere--anywhere, sending me on my way again.

But, there is no breeze. Just the midnight blue sky, the dampness of the night-hours, the dewy tears of an empty heaven, plastering this leaf down into to the cold, unforgiving clay.

You're Egypt!

Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

Had my nap, feel a little better...and least I don't feel like I could just lay down and sleep forever...not a great thing. Despite my, erm--hefty size, I used to be quite active. I wasn't afraid to walk a few miles. I never let things stop me--if I got the chance to ride a horse, sail a boat, ride a camel....I'd just jump in with both feet and go for it. Now, I get exhausted and breathless just walking 4 blocks!

I wish they'd figure out why I'm anemic--believe it or not, at the moment, my provider has just shrugged, and, without any further tests, proclaimed it's just because I'm pre-menopausal...despite a previous doctor's worries about my kidneys...she won't even TALK to me about it! Well, the doctor at hospital was wrong---apparently--about me having congestive heart failure. They were worried at hospital last year, that I had cancer, and that (thank God) didn't pan out. Maybe my old doctor was wrong about my kidney failure? That would be a relief.

Well, I'm changing health care providers next month. Maybe this one will actually remember my name without having to look it up on my chart (I kid you not). Really, maybe this new bloke will remember that he ordered tests for me, and actually LISTEN to me and stuff. My PA isn't a bad person...I just think she's grossly overworked, and since she's been there for over a decade (she used to see my late mum, 10 years ago--I remember 'cos mum wasn't happy with her--now I know why, but she's probably tired of her job, and just is burnt out---it happens. Or, she could just suck at her job. Who knows?

I totally sucked at my job today. I tried, I really did try, despite how rotten I was feeling.

Today, I couldn't have sold a refrigerator to someone in the desert. I couldn't have sold a kerosene heater to an Eskimo (and I've actually rung up an Eskimo in Nunavut Province).

Oh well. I'll just listen to some internet radio and chill out. It's a nice evening. Gosh, today was such a glorious day out there--the kind of day, when, in the old days (as in before 2005) I would have gone horseback riding, or cycling, swimming on the lake/river, for a drive in the country (back before the price of petrol escalated and no one knew what a "carbon footprint" was), working in the garden, playing mini-golf or do some horseshoe pitching....anything, just to be outside! But, instead, I went home, had lunch and crawled into bed.

I'm turning into a vegetable, and there seems to be not a blessed thing I can do about it! It's so frustrating, and such a lonely feeling. I need to get out of here! I need to feel like I'm part of the world again, like I'm still a functioning human being, like I have VALUE. Instead, I'm turning into the one type of person, I've tried the last 30 years trying to avoid becoming. What's happening to me?

So...just listen to some music and try and forget about it for a while. The really nice thing about Pandora radio, is that when you create a station around a favourite artist or type of music--the station automatically tries to find similar artists/music. I started out liking one or two artists (Like the Proclaimers, the New Pornogrpahers and the Kaiser Cheifs), and the station has played other stuff, and now I am tuning into all these other artists...most of whom I'd never heard of before, like the Bluetones, the Housemartins, Runrig, Robbie Williams, etc.

Stuff many of you may have heard before--years ago, is all brand new to me. I left popular music--mostly--behind, from the early 80's to just the last couple of years...so I literally have over two decades of music to catch up with. And, I have to say, I'm kinda' having a blast. I rarely get to go to concerts, and never bought CD's--couldn't afford them ever, and didn't have a CD player anyway...so radio is my only access to music, really.

What I'm listening to--the list:

TITLE/ARTIST
Long Black Veil/The Proclaimers
I Couldn't Spend Another Day/The Ministry of Sound
Superman/R.E.M.
Missing You/Tyler Hilton
Slight Return/The Bluetones
Strong/Robbie Williams
By Your Side/Eskobar
Five O'Clock World/The Proclaimers
Keep it Simple/Folkushima
The Planner's Dream Goes Wrong/The Jam
Song of the Earth/Runrig
Arms of Mary/The Sutherlands
Don't Cut Me Down/The Dylans
West End Girls/Pet Shop Boys
I Could Fall in Love with You/Erasure
The Crying Game/The Culture Club
Reverand's Revenge/The Housemartins
Purple Prose/Mystery Jets
Generator/The Holloways
You Can Have it All/Kaiser Chiefs

So much for the "new" stuff I've been listening to. Switching gears to the stuff I grew up listening to:

We're an American Band-- 2002 version/Grand Funk Railroad (I'm so gobsmacked that these guys sound just as good now, as they did 35 years ago--do you know how amazing that is?)

Magic Carpet Ride/Stepphanwolf
Liar/Three Dog Night
Hold Your Head Up/Argent
One of These Nights/The Eagles

"Okay yeah, I am going to be the next Wonderbra model. They're very comfortable, ya'know, and the burgundy one's look fantastic with ma' kilt."

On break and incredibly sleepy---anemia must be playing up, as I had plenty of sleep and have been taking my vitamins and meds. Want to just fall over and die, I'm that fagged out today. Not good, is it?

A blog friend has set up a website dedicated to David Tennant. Promised her I'd look it over--but lost the e-mail (stupid me deleted it accidentially) and thought I'd just Google it...

You know..there's a lot of rather odd DT websites out there. I honestly sort of feel sorry for the man! How weird must it be for him, at times?

Found one website that said, "Your one stop for all of your David Tennant needs." Erm---okay. Not sure I want to go there, ya'know what I mean?

Well, back to work, praying that I don't nod off at my desk. 2pm can't come soon enough today...they're still not putting me on the new script--so what did they make me stay an extra half-hour for, to train for it, on Monday? Oh well, not for me to question why, but for me to sell or die. See'ya later aligators.

This is a favourite poem of mine, and since it is such a lovely summer day, I thought I'd share it with you. It's by Mary Darby Robinson.

Who has not waked to list the busy sounds
Of summer's morning, in the sultry smoke
Of noisy London? On the pavement hot
The sooty chimney-boy, with dingy face
And tatter'd covering, shrilly bawls his trade,
Rousing the sleepy housemaid. At the door
The milk-pail rattles, and the tinkling bell
Proclaims the dustman's office; while the street
Is lost in clouds impervious. Now begins
The din of hackney-coaches, waggons, carts;
While tinmen's shops, and noisy trunk-makers,
Knife-grinders, coopers, squeaking cork-cutters,
Fruit barrows, and the hunger-giving cries
Of vegetable venders, fill the air.
Now every shop displays its varied trade,
And the fresh-sprinkled pavement cools the feet
Of early walkers. At the private door
The ruddy housemaid twirls the busy mop,
Annoying the smart 'prentice, or neat girl,
Tripping with band-box lightly. Now the sun
Darts burning splendour on the glittering pane,
Save where the canvas awning throws a shade
On the day merchandize. Now, spruce and trim,
In shops (where beauty smiles with industry),
Sits the smart damsel; while the passenger
Peeps through the window, watching every charm.
Now pastry dainties catch the eye minute
Of humming insects, while the limy snare
Waits to enthral them. Now the lamp-lighter
Mounts the tall ladder, nimbly venturous,
To trim the half-fill'd lamp; while at his feet
The pot-boy yells discordant! All along
The sultry pavement, the old-clothes man cries
In tone monotonous, the side-long views
The area for his traffic: now the bag
Is slily open'd, and the half-worn suit
(Sometimes the pilfer'd treasure of the base
Domestic spoiler), for one half its worth,
Sinks in the green abyss. The porter now
Bears his huge load along the burning way;
And the poor poet wakes from busy dreams,
To paint the summer morning.

Okay, how many people in the US (and possibly, the UK) don't think that we ARE in a recession, and that inflation has been running rampant for months and months, now?

Apparently, some "economists?"

"The Fed is caught between a rock and a hard place," said Sung Won Sohn, an economics professor at California State University. "The economy seems to be slipping into a recession at the same time that inflation is getting worse." No sh*t, Sherlock. So much for the American educational system--how many of you would enroll in HIS economics course?

"It's gotten so bad with the fan-girls hounding me, I've had to tell the security guards to send the overflow to my mates, back in Glasgow."

Well, I woke to realize that I'm out of eggs, milk and butter...so much for breakfast...so I'm having last night's leftovers. Hmmm--interesting. Not sure how I like it...but no way can I go most of the day without eating, with my blood sugar the way it is....I'd be doing another turn in the ER, and that's NOT the way I want to end my day. So, it's BBQ boneless ribs and cheddar potatoes...ah well, hope my stomach will forgive me...it was either that, or liverwurst with mayonnaise on an onion roll.

My clock-radio awoke me with "Song Sung Blue," now there's a cheery song to wake to!" Which was followed by "Dream-dream-dream," by the Everly Brothers...also a bad choice, for those of us that would love to turn over and go back to sleep, ha-ha. Someone give that DJ the boot...

Lovely sunny, day. Only supposed to get to 80 F today, so essentially, the perfect summer day outside. Have to water my plants out on the balcony, My potted dill is drooping sadly, poor thing.

Flame is perched on the arm of my chair, staring intensely at me, with that, "Are you gonna' feed me some time this morning, or what?" She's even tapping me on the shoulder with her paw, in that annoying, nagging way of hers. People who don't know animals, have no clue just how much like people they can really be.

Oh well, have to do the washing up after breakfast and take out the bin bags to the skip out back, before I can get ready for work. Didn't start the new script yesterday, so I reckon I'll be doing it today, perhaps. I'm told most of the people I'll be ringing up to come back to the company (trying to bring people back who canceled), a lot of people who are dead. The one's who aren't dead, hate the company's guts. Oh yeah. Gonna' be a real fun day.

I love to write...I don't even mind spending time copying and pasting stuff I'd written to blogs and websites...except...when the flippin' website LOSES everything that I'd just spent a flippin' hour and a half copying and pasting!

I'd made a mistake publishing an old story to one of my Who-fic blogs (nbgwho.wordpress.com), and had to delete the new version, and re-post the original version (long story, let's just say it's easier for me to do the really rubbish version than to try and dredge up the "new" rewrite that I did last winter on this blog.)

So, it's half-past 11pm, and I've only (for the second time) just got to re-posting the 5th chapter out of 19 chapters...man! Life sucks and then you die.

When an actor, reporter, DJ or presenter/announcer, can't keep a straight face on camera, while on-air or while performing a scene, it's known as "corpsing."

This is a hilarious clip of actors Tim Conway and Harvey Corman BOTH corpsing during a skit on the Carol Burnett show. Corman especially is just not able to quite keep his face straight, throughout all of Conway's on-stage antics.

"How could they do this to my Tardis? Due to budget cuts, the BBC is replacing it with a flat-pack Ikea wardrobe...at least they killed the idea of replacing my sonic screwdriver with a carrot spray-painted silver...."

Well, after a day of constant storms, rumbling around the city, and torrential rains, it's a quiet, fairly clear evening--and much, much cooler thankfully.

Boring day at work. Only made one sale---loads of cranky old people, hard to sell to crotchety old gits---I mean nice elderly folks--- let me tell you.

Someone brought in some more tinned haggis to the office, and offered me some--so I had a quick snack of that on a couple of saltine crackers--don't knock it 'till you've tried it! It's really rather good...like it much better than pate or brie on a cracker, let me tell you. Of course, the only way to get haggis over here, is to order it online...which I couldn't ever do, as I can't afford it, and ripped up my debit card, last year. But yeah, I would if I could, sure.

Not so sure about those Walker's marmite or pickled onion flavoured crisps I saw on some UK website though...Marmite??? Sounds about as appetizing as peanut butter flavour potato cheps--bleh. We have Herr's Heinz catsup flavoured, and steak and onion flavoured chips (aka: crisps) that aren't half bad. And I'm rather partial to salt & vinegar, honey-BBQ and cheddar flavour chips as well....tho' I can't have them, any longer. With my blood pressure being so closely monitored, it's strictly the rare bag of either Wise's "lightly salted" chips, or Corazona's 3 cheese Italiano flavoured "heart healthy" crisps (made with some kind of special oil that supposed to actually lowers your cholesterol...tastes sort of rubbish, if you ask me).

The cats are happy tonight, dunno' why. They were really happy to see me, when I got home from work. Though they weren't in any way violent, I do think the storms unsettled them, a bit, perhaps.

Well, have to see to dinner...made Honey BBQ boneless pork ribs, sweet corn and julienne style cheddar potatoes. Yum!

Have a good night, all.

I probably would have had a higher "drama nerd" score, 'cept they kept asking me if I liked to sew costumes, and I hate sewing--only student in my elementary school's Home Economics class ever sent to the ER for having a sewing accident--TWICE in one day!

Annime nerd???? I've never watched annime, where'd they get that? (True, I'm not adverse to reading a comic book, on the rare occasion.)

1. Who's the black sheep in your family?
My slightly older sister.

2. Do you take your coffee black?
Only as an absolute last resort--if I desperately need to stay awake. My preference is lots of cream, no sugar.

3. Do you own a Blackberry?
I used to pick wild blackberries...oh, you mean that newfangled electronic gadget? What is that, anyway? I honestly don't know what it is or does...never even seen one.

4. Which black forest would you rather eat - cake or ham?
Ham--'cos I'm just a big ol' ham anyway...and I could take or leave chocolate.

5. Have you ever had a black eye?
Yeah, twice. Once when a horse swung his head into my face, and once when my sister clocked me, during an argument.

"Does this expression make me look super gorgeous and sexy--or merely like I need a laxitive and I'd just stuck my finger in an electrical outlet?"

Really, though...I assume that with all the work he does--even after taxes and bills, that the man's got to have wads of money--can't he afford a comb and some hair gel?

Hullo all,

It's ten to eight in the morning over here. Looks like it's shaping up to be a hot day. It's 80 F in my bedroom, already. I really hate the hot weather. Give me 15 F and a pair of snowshoes any day, ha-ha.

We start a new selling script at work today...the pre-campaign pep talk went something like this..."We've had a lot of hang-ups on this so far, and only made one sale in two days...the client wants one sale an hour..." Got any other good news? Well, at least our trainer was honest about it.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to sound cheerful, upbeat and positive, when you are suffering from depression, anemia fatique, and generally feel like cr*p? Oh, I can do this in my sleep--practically have, actually, but not a lot of fun, mateys.

This has been a an out bout of depression--usually I can tell when I am being nailed by it...just like can tell if I'm starting to get manic. Manic is easier though, for me to manage, as it is so rare for me. I have learned to cope without the assistance of the bored, uninterested, overworked state-provided therapists. And, without the meds, which self-same therapists like to play around with and change, every time I was assigned someone new. Like my wonky brain was their own personal science experiment.

I've asked the PA at the health center twice about getting back into therapy or something...basically ignored. She'll say--whenever the need to see another specialist or something comes up--"Oh sure, we can take care of that..." And promptly does NOTHING. No one likes PA's. In fact, some guy was arrested in the ER the other day, for throwing around chairs and causing a hole to be punched in the wall, because he was furious over the hospital assigning him a physician's assistant, instead of a proper doctor. Oh, there's some really good PA's out there, don't get my wrong. But, many are just not really up to par, unfortunately. Equally unfortunate, is that most poorer patients, such as myself, are literally forced to either see a PA--or no one at all...except maybe a nurse--in fact, most nurses are preferable to many PA's.

Well, opened the door to the front room this morning, and was greeted by the stench that is Glens Falls, wafting through my open window. The fumes from the paper mill and the rank mustiness of the Hudson River, on damp nights/mornings, gives off a smell that's somewhat like a giant's big wet fart. Not the nicest odour to wake to, first thing in the morning.

I noticed that Aol is down again...what a piece of junk that is, ey?

Well, have to convince my stomach that it really wants breakfast this morning...then convince myself that I really do want to go to work, today.

Cheers, Nancy G.

I know lots of people don't believe in religion, and certainly one has to respect that--for you can't respect your own beliefs, if you have no respect for others...I am of the thought that respect is a symbiotic relationship. You cannot have one without the other.

Yet, I do think, no matter what your beliefs in life--or the afterlife, that nearly every human being has a soul.

We have our senses: sight, touch, smell, hearing. And, we have our brains.

We see things, and sometimes don't notice them...and sometimes we do. Sometimes, a tree is just a tree, and a sky is just a sky...and sometimes, not.

Humans have this tendency to make connections with things. Now, partly, I think it's just our natural age-old need to make sense out of our world.

But, sometimes we go beyond just connecting, sometimes our hearts and spirits and souls reach out, and find the picturesque, the harmonious, the moving, the delightful.

I don't believe that this is merely us trying to make a logical connection. It's more than that, oh, so much more. I believe that when our senses are naturally heightened---on those all too rare occasions when humans are truly in tune with their surroundings---that there's some sort of magical trinity at work, where our heart and inner-spirit and soul, somehow connect with each other.

We see colours and movements, hear sounds, smell the scents, all that is around us, and something just clicks. And suddenly, the world isn't just something we take for granted, or something to find logic in. Our mind takes in the information, but then we don't just process it, our experience at that moment, it actually becomes a part of ourselves, a part of who we are, as an individual. It changes us imperceptibly, subtly guiding us to a place where we can feel contentment and/or belonging.

I don't know if I'm right, if any of this makes sense at all. These are things that I experienced as far back as my teens, but never really could put words to...even now, this lame attempt to verbalize something that has no real corporeal substance...words are beggars to me.

Such are the thoughts of a closet transcendentalist.

It's ten minutes to midnight, and I must be off to bed. Have a really lovely Tuesday, all.

"Erm--Russel, I realize that I don't always act grown-up, but I'm NOT playing 'paddy-cake' with you!"

Okay, still unhappy, but in a better mood now.

My neighbour is going on with her friend to Wendy's and asked if I wanted something--so I scraped up $1.25 in change from my change cup, and she's bringing me back a 99 cent Wendy's junior bacon cheeseburger. (Mind you, I'm quite sure it won't look anything like the one in the photograph.)

I've had this weird craving for a hamburger for a couple of days now. Too bad I didn't have enough for a strawberry shake.

Oh, by the way, this picture gave me a laugh: (A "frosty" is an extra thick chocolate milkshake!)

I'm still fuming over the loss of the item and waste of time and money--oh, no, I was told by another bus driver that it was that particular bus's last run of the day--figures, but..that I could pick up the item--if it was still there, at the depot...which is out by the county airport, some 4 miles distant....which would cost, I just found out...`14 dollars round trip cab fare...maaaan! Anyway, I just have to bite the bullet and just accept that I'm the loser, tonight.

I mean, taken alongside all the big disasters that have befallen me, I suppose I can just sigh over this tiny one, and just move on and deal with it.

But, still too aggravated to write, so I'm posting an old post from last year, that I wrote on a very obscure website that I no longer use.

It's just talking about why I don't date and why I'm alone, all that boring palaver...

________________________________________________________________________________________

Well, I don't generally go 'round advertising this, ya' know.

Especially not in this day and age, ey? I mean, a 46 year old virgin--who's not a nun? Actually, I used to be Catholic--even worked in a convent for two years (shudders)--that was...an experience.

Being Catholic wasn't my idea, mind. It was my dad's--who wasn't even a devout Catholic--but to whom image was everything. He refused to let mum go to church with us on Sundays, as she was Lutheran and he was ashamed of that, for some reason. But then, that was normal for dad--if anyone didn't fit his idea of "image," even his own family members, that person was either dismissed from his presence or verbally put down. So, mum was excluded from church--mostly because she was protestant, but also, I think, 'cause she was fat. She didn't used to be, but being around dad was a bit of a bummer, so mum put on more and more weight as time went on. And dad hated fat people, as well. Blacks, fat people, foreigners, poor people---and educated people intimidated him (including me, after I went to college.) He loved rich people, though--virtually worshiped the ground rich people walked on. Dad may have been catholic, but money was his God--tho' truth to tell, he was never able to get himself out of the lower middle class (ie: blue collar/ chav) though, sadly for him.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I positively hated being Catholic--not meaning to offend any Catholics out there, I do really have a lot of respect for the religion, but it just didn't suit me, personally--what I believe and how I prefer to worship and such--well, that and being traumatized at the tender age of 12, by a priest almost literally foaming at the mouth at me in confessional, for not remembering how to say confession properly. Kind of killed the brotherly love aspect for me. So no, I was NEVER a nun!

But I am a virgin yes. There's several reasons for that, a dark reason that I cannot discuss here and also a couple of lesser reasons.

I've never been kissed on the lips--not sure how I'd take that, now, in my "old age." I've not dated in over 10 years...and I've never dated the same guy more than a handful of times. Without exception, in the end, all my dates ever wanted from me, was either sex, or to use me to show off to his ex. I've dated guys that have told me outright, that they had other girlfrieds--really tacky, guys, to say to a gal on a date. Before you make the date, maybe--but on the date itself? Yeah, that went over well. I remember one guy virtually bragging to me--on my date--how many girlfriends he had, and how many times he was shagging them every week. So...dating. Forget it. Not worth it. Had a guy tell me--again, on the first date--that he couldn't "get serious" with me, if I didn't convert to his born-again Christian religion.
Okay, then. Check please!

oh and the last guy, I met online through an historical hobby message board. We'd be writing each other for months, and he said he was coming to my area. Asked if we could meet over coffee. Sure, why not--public place what could happen? Yeah. Well, seems he also wanted me to show him some of the historic sites--couldn't find how to get to Fort Ticonderoga. So, okay. We meet in the local diner in my town. Now, he wrote me that he was 55--I was 35 at the time, and I may be an old maid--but I'm an open-minded one, and don't care about age differences--up to a point, anyway. Well...Mr X exceeded that point---turns out, he was exactly my mum's age! She was, I think, 70 at the time. Yeah--I may have dyscalculia (math disability)...but even I know... 55 and 70--they don't add up. But he seemed genuine--said he didn't think I'd want to see him or write to him, if I thought he was that old--didn't buy that 100 percent...but I was willing to give him some leeway. Bad move. So, we drove out to Fort Ti---it was a hot day, did he offer to buy me a cold drink? No. In fact, he never even offered to pay for my coffee...I don't mind Dutch treat at all--I've paid my own tab more times than not, but an offer would have been the gentlemanly thing to do...at least, that's my thinking. Okay, so we get to ticonderoga--but not without him going on about what "a nice motel room" he had. (Hint-hint, wink and a nudge)...oh yeah, that was subtle.

Well, we got to Fort Ticonderoga--and he was all miffed at me, because I didn't have any admission price for the fort tour on me--well, I hadn't planned on going to the blinkin' historic site, had I? I'd just gone out with coffee money, and pocket change for a phone call, if need be. (I've been naive--but not totally daft.) I mean, you could still walk the grounds for free--you just couldn't go inside, or go on the guided tour with the costumed guide, that's all. But, he got all put out and drove me home---via the town where he was staying--which was about 20 miles south of where I lived--and we were 40 miles or so to the north, of my town, at the historic site. So, bit of a detour then--and I was NOT amused!

He insisted I go inside to "see" (wink-nudge, know-what-I-mean) his room. I poked my head in---yeah, it's a room, thanks for the tour, bye. I wound up bumming a ride home from a neighbour who worked at a restaurant near the old fart's hotel. The old fart started calling my home and bugging my mum all night--so I threated to tell his wife about us---oh, didn't mention that did I? He'd also written me that he was divorced. He wasn't. Yeah---Like a nun, I made a vow that night---NEVER AGAIN. And, like a nun, I've kept my vows...I have not, and never ever will, date a guy ever again. No. And if I was a lesbian--I wouldn't date a girl, either!

So, I'm alone.

Actually, those are the lighter reasons. The other two reasons are much more complicated and a lot tougher to talk about. And I've never really done that, in my life, and may never be able to--don't know.

But, I don't relate really, to love stories. I've never been in love--and no guy has ever loved me. And I doubt very much any guy ever will. No guy has ever wanted me--for just...me. I wish that weren't true, but it is, and it's always going to be that way. No avoiding the truth...I'm just not a very lovable person, I guess. I mean, what guy wants to date a woman who can't have sex? No guys that I know of--'least not in America.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

I just wasted a whole hour of my time and six dollars of my precious funds--for nothing!

I grabbed a bus for the pharmacy, to get something I really needed---and, just left it on the bus!

The bus depot is closed, so I cannot call them--all I can do is go back down and wait--and hope that bus comes 'round again...and that the item I left on the flippin' seat is still there.

I only had 15 dollars...now, between the fare and the item, I have less than 10 dollars 'till Friday.

I'm hot, I'm tired, and I'm disgusted. Life sucks and then you die.

Hi all,

Wow, am I getting my fill of nut-jobs at work today!

Examples:

Georgia woman answering phone: "Who is this!"

Me: "may I speak to Mr. ___________, please? I'm calling from his ____"

Georgia Woman: (screams) "WAAAHHH!" (SLAMS DOWN PHONE IN MY EAR.)

Okaaay, then. Next:

ME: "Hello, may I speak to __________, please?"

Snarky western NY woman on other end of phone: "Whatdd'ya want him for?"

ME: "I'm calling from his____________."

Snarky woman: Whhhaat?!? You're crazy!" (slams phone in my ear.)

And that's just two calls....there's been a passel of them.

I'm repping for an organization that promotes shooting sports....yes, America lets people like these use guns! Scary stuff, ey?

David Tennant tries to pretend that he didn't just loudly break wind on National television.

Hello

It's Monday. yeah. Whoopie.

Anyway, another stormy start to the day....very unusual. Not that we never get morning storms--but they are rare, and to get early morning storms two days in a row, is pretty much unheard of, in this part of the world.

Well, starting tomorrow, and continuing until 8th July, over 2000 historic French and Indian (Queen Anne's) War reenactors will be descending on the town of Ticonderoga, NY, and the fully restored historic fort, for 15 days of encampments and battle maneuvers, as it's the 250th anniversary of the Battle of Carillion. http://www.fort-ticonderoga250th.org/

This is why I miss having a car, people! I love this stuff.

Anyway, rainy day. Woke with a headache. Not in a great mood...not grumpy, but not happy, either. Not sure why, maybe it's the weather, maybe it's because it's Monday, maybe it's my illness, maybe it's because I don't really like my job any longer, maybe it's because I'm just a cranky old maid.

Hope you all have a good Monday.

Here's some pics from last year's battle at Fort Ti:

Blackwatch regiment

Roger's Rangers--representing the world's 1st army ranger regiment

Oh yeah, right. Like McCain instead of Bush is REALLY going to change anything?

Recently, when asked by a reporter how he felt about McCain being president, a soldier on the ground in Iraq merely shrugged and said, "Might as well keep it going." Says it all, don't you think?

Wow, I'm tired! But, got some needed chores done, today, at any rate.

Storms have finally cleared off, and there's a lovely cool breeze coming in the window off my little balcony.

I've been also busy mucking about with some Dr Who fan-fic. Seems last year, without ever noticing, I'd put copied and pasted one of my older stores onto my original Who-fic blog (www.nbgwho.wordpress.com), and mess up some of the chapters...so trying to sort that, once and for all.

And, got this new story I've been neglecting...chapter two is holding back the flow of the story (Dark Holiday), so I'm messing about, trying to cut much of chapter 2, and moving chap. three back, and making it chap. 2 instead--confused yet? It's okay, I'm almost always confused these days, you're in good company. So, in a day or two, I should have that sorted, and can move the story forward again, post something on my other Who-fic blog (www.davidtennantsdoctor.wordpress.com).

I tried reading the local paper--bleh. It's become so incredibly pro-conservative, that it makes me want to just throw it away and use it for kitty litter. The Post-Star used to be, twenty years ago, such a good-quality, reasonably unbiased local paper, that I would go out of my way to buy it...new owners though...cut the column inches, replaced stories with jazzy photos...often rubbish pics, at that, and now...disgusting. Now, I'm not just speaking as a liberal, but as a former communications major. It hurts me to see the corporate media get away with what amounts to prostituting the news, just to make a profit. Of course, yellow and biased journalism, has been around for over a century.

And unfortunately, some Americans aren't entirely blameless in this-- they've become mentally lazy, and are afraid to read anything that's longer than their index finger...can't take information of any kind--factual or fiction, in large doses any longer. Sadly, the men in the suits in the corporate media, cater to these people.

Well, don't get me started on that, no one whats to hear it, anyway.

Sun's going down--and I think I'm due for a bit of a rest. Still a tad under the weather, and I do have a job to go to, tomorrow. Hope You all have a great night. Cheers, Nancy G.

ADIRONDACK SUNSET ON LAKE COLBY--I stayed at a camp here with my school class, autumn of '73.

I swear doctor, I am trying to cut back. Look, I've only shagged this many girls in my trailer this week. A sexy randy Scotsman like me, can't simply quit, ya'know."

Here's a quiz somebody sent me. I decided to have fun with it. However, the correct answers (to the best of my knowledge) are listed at the bottom of the page.

AMERICAN QUIZ:

1. What are the three main branches of the US government?

Dumb, Dumber and technically brain dead.

2. What famous American is often mis-quoted as saying, "I cannot tell a lie."

Certainly not any politicians.

3. What American said, "I regret that I have but one life to give for my country."

The guy in front of me in the queue at McDonald's.

4. When was the Great Depression?

The day I found out that George Bush got re-elected.

5. Who charged up San Juan Hill?

Somebody with better credit than I have.

6. The Civil War was fought for what reason(s)?

Because Southerners were jealous that the rest of the country could count to ten.

7. Why did Paul Revere make his famous ride?

He ran out of beer and wanted to get to the shop before it closed.

8. What was America's First National Park?

The site of the world's largest ball of twine, located in Kansas

9. When did America enter World War II?

When they realized that other countries in the world were getting to shoot at people, and they were missing out on all the fun.

10. Who invented the cotton gin, and helped to push America into the industrial age?

They make gin from cotton? Who knew?

CORRECT ANSWERS:

1. Executive, legislative, judicial

2. George Washington.

3. John Paul Jones

4. 1929-to about 1938.

5. Teddy Rossevelt during the Spanish-American War (a war sort of like Iraq, but cheaper and without suicide bombers)

6. State's rights and slavery

7. To warn the Continental army in Boston whether the British were coming by land or by sea.

8. Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming (also Montana and Idaho)

9. December 1941

10. Eli Whitney

The World's Largest Ball of Twine:

Yellowstone National Park:

Both songs released when I was about 10 or 11 years old. Both huge favourites of mine--both then and now.

Though he is reputed to be a very private person, it has been revealed today, by a series insider at BBC Wales, that actor David Tennant has a very odd quirk....he likes forcing people he's only just met, into listening to him sing. Here we see an on-set photo, where Tennant is torturing two fellow actors--whom he's never met before, by forcing them to listen to him sing his own theme song. Since Tennant has started his new "hobby," BBC Wales has allegedly had a drastic increase in compensation claims by actors and extras appearing on Doctor Who. A spokesman from the Doctor Who team has refused comment, but off the record, he was overheard to say, "When you're that sexy, you can get away with anything."

Woke at half-past eight this Sunday morning to a thunderstorm. Checked the weather service radar out of Albany, and seems there's a line of showers and storms moving north up the Hudson valley today. Nothing major, just lightning and rain--but the lightning isn't severe, thankfully. Only been shocked once by a bolt, and believe me, once is enough.

So, looks like a rainy Sunday--which isn't a bad thing, I like rainy Sundays. Very relaxing, no pressure, I can either stay home and chill, or go for a walk around the city streets in the rain. Now that people have their gardens in place, the same old houses ares slightly more interesting to look at...but only slightly, mind. I do miss the woods and fields and hills. I hate to admit this, but sometimes my heart aches for them.

Woke with stomach pain again, not sure why. From the meds perhaps? It'll be fine by this afternoon, I'm sure. Big job today is washing the kitchen floor. I hate washing the kitchen floor--ever try to do that with three curious cats? Wot'cha doin, mum? Oh, yer washin' the kitchen floor? Okay, let me walk about two inches in front of you, as you mop so you have to avoid tripping over me and falling, and then every time you try to stick the mop in the bucket to rinse, I'll try and stick my head in the bucket at the same time, so I can see you shake your fist and say a rude word to me--and then, after you're done, I can use the litter box, and then track my dirty little paws all over your nice clean floor--see mum? I can help!

But, ya'know? I love them--and, they love me...doesn't stop me from calling them a rude word now and then, though.

So, I only just finished watching "Turn Left" a short while ago, right?

Where Donna has this massive black beetle creature stuck to her back, right?

Well...

Just now, I noticed the cats being fascinated by something between my (bare) feet...it was this:

(an it was HUGE!--But not as big as the one on Who, of course.) Gosh! I HATE bugs, okay--especially big, whopping plug-ugly bugs--especially big, whopping, plug-ugly bugs sitting between my bare feet! When it comes to bugs, I am NOT my mother's daughter. I'm more like a Dalek....and no, didn't quite scream like a little girl...not exactly, anyway...okay, I did let out a teensy bit of a yelp, but that's all, I SWEAR!

Or, morning to my UK blog-pals! Hello!

Well, I have to eat in order to take one of my more important meds, and I'm not the slightest bit hungry. Had lunch around 3pm, and it's fifteen minutes past 11pm, and the last thing I feel like doing is eating. No one here to nag me about it, at least. So, maybe I'll just skip them both, tonight, I dunno'.

So, had my peek at the latest Who episode, as I'm as happy as a horse that broke into the feed bin....before he gets colic, that is.

So, anyway, it went from a comfortable afternoon, to being rather stuffy in here. I've opened a second window, but no breeze. Not stifling hot or anything, but it's a bit close in here, and I'm a bit warm, though.

I've come to the realization all of the sudden (tho' I've been suspecting it for a while) that I'm deep under the throes of a bout of moderate depression...and really nothing I can do about it, except try to cope, and try to ride it out. Since my health provider has made no efforts to help me, in this area (yes, I DID ask), I've got no meds or social worker to help me, so, as usual, I'm on my own. It is very debilitating--doubly so, when you're already physically run-down and fatigued. Oh well, that's life in Nancy's World. Just gotta' roll with the punches....but sometimes, as I get older, it really gets more and more tempting to just roll over and take a dive, ya'know?

George Bush went walking around Washington, D.C. recently. In a show of patriotism, he decided to tour some of the monuments of the nation's past presidents. He first visits, the Washington Monument. Sighing, he looks up at the sky, and says, "George, I wish you were still alive. I would ask you what advice you'd give me." To George W's surprise, a disembodied voice comes from above him. "I will give you advice. Scrap the CIA and start over fresh." George W., open-mouthed, says, "Really? Thanks, George!"

Moving on to the Jefferson Memorial, he thinks about the Father of American Patriotism, and says aloud, "Tom, I wish you were still here to give me some advice." As before, a disembodied voice comes from over George's head, "I'll give you some advice, George. Get rid of Homeland Security and go back to things being the way they were before 9/11." George frowned, but nodded, "Okay Tom, whatever you say."

Finally, Bush paid a visit to the Lincoln Memorial. As he strolled along, he said aloud, "Abe, I wish you were still around to give me advice--especially since the country's confidence in my handling of the two wars isn't so hot, right now." Yet again, a disembodied voice came echoing down from overhead. "Sure I'll give ya' advice, George. Forget about all these problems. Relax! I advise you to take the night off. Go to the theatre." **

Late nite tunes:

TITLE/ARTIST
Joy to the World/Three Dog Night
8675-309 (Jenny)/Tommy Tutone
More Than a Feeling/Boston
We're an American Band (2002 reunion)/Grand Funk Railroad
Fat-bottomed Girls/Queen
Lonely too Long/The Rascals
The Boss/Diana Ross
That's The Way I Like It/ K.C. and the Sunshine Band
I'm Every Woman/Chuka Kahn
Boogie oggie oggie/A Taste of Honey
Working my way back to you babe/The Spinners
No Sugar Tonight (re-mix)/The Guess Who
She's Not There/The Zombies
Gimme' Some Lovin'/The Spencer David Group
September Gurls/Big Star
What Do You Do/The Proclaimers
The Scheme of Things/Richard X. Heyman
The Stamping Ground/Runrig
The Planner's Dream Goes Wrong/The Jam
Heart of Gold/The Kinks

**(For those not familiar with US history, Lincoln was asassinated while attending a performance at Ford's Theater)

I was reading where one of the Shetland Islands has allegedly claimed its independence from Great Britain, becoming instead a "dependent" nation.
Basically, this means that the island's sole resident has given the two finger salute, in regards to paying taxes, or incorporating British law, following health and safety regs, being part of the European Union, and all that palaver that goes with British rule these days.

The new "country" of Forvik, will have its own currency and postal stamps, but will charge no taxes, so heaven knows how they'll pay for it. There's no mention of schools, health care, transport, shops, jobs or entertainment. In fact, there's nothing on the island at all--2 1/2 miles square--so small, it's not even on most maps, but the tent that houses the island's single resident.

However, that resident, the owner of the island--who came to be there because he was shipwrecked (Is this not starting to sound like a Tom Hanks film?), has invited people from anywhere in the world, to come and be a citizen of Forvik.

Well, I'm game! To live in a land without bigots, or political or religious extremists...especially no neo-cons...paradise!

Not sure about the tent thing...my back isn't keen on sleeping bags or cots, like it was 30 years ago. As for the climate, meh. I've lived in sub-zero F weather without proper heat and hot water, I'm a nature girl as well--gotta' book about wilderness camping and everything--suppose I'd be able to live rough...be weird without trees, tho'...or pizza. Gosh, I'd miss pizza.

Not sure how the cats would like it, they've gotten very persnickity about their food, of late. And Flame HATES being cold...maybe I can buy a sheep and knit her a sweater.

(NOTE: I know I said "no plot reveals," but just a heads-up that the last paragraph does contain a MINOR spoiler.)

Wow! Catherine Tate has proven to me (not that she ever needed to) that she's BAFTA (Britain's equivilent to our Emmy's) award material. Wow! And, did I mention, Wow!

Tennant got to strut his stuff in last week's episode, "Midnight," Now Ms. Tate shows that she can hold her own, as well. Of course, Billie Piper came back with a strong performance, as well. I don't know how these two actresses gelled off-camera, but on camera they worked very well together...each actress spot on the mark, each giving very truthful and well-defined performances....I almost feel sorry for David Tennant, for not being in the show, very much. But...(sorry David), like the now-famous "Blink" episode of last season, "Left Turn" manages very well, as a "Doctor-Lite" episode.

It was also beautifully done by the director, as well, I think. Some great performances were gotten out of the entire cast, and the settings were very well realized.

There is one glitch in the story, though...sorry Russell, lovely script, perfect even--except...and I'm being a Dr Who anorak here...erm--in the Titanic episode, when the ship crashed, it was SUPPOSED to destroy the entire planet...but, it didn't in episode 11...did we forget about that? Oh, it's no big deal..I just brushed it aside...didn't interfere with my susupension of disbelief, I just figured that he must've had to brush that little storyline inconsistancy aside, in order to make the story move forward. He's a great writer, but he's not God, so, I forgive you, RTD, ha-ha. Heaven knows I've likely messed up more Who-fic stories in the past two years, than he's ever done in his whole entire life, so who am I to bicker? Uh-uh, not moi!

It was a perfect summer day, weather wise, over here in northeastern New York. Few storms around to our north and west, but dry here. Got to 81 F, today, so not too hot and not too chilly...lovely! In fact, if I had a car, and the cash to spare, I'd tell you EXACTLY what I'd be doing tonight: Drive-in cinema!

Yeah, I'd be getting some take out--pizza or Chinese, a cooler full of cold drinks and a bag of movie-theater butter flavour microwave popcorn, and a nice (or rubbish) double feature, sitting in my car, fending off the mosquitoes and watching the shadows of moths sometimes floating across the screen, as they cross through the projector lights.

What's playing at The Glen tonight? On Screen One: Get Smart and The Incredible Hulk. On Screen Two: Kung Fu Panda and You Don't Mess With the Zohan---and, the nice thing about this theater, is that it's set up so if you don't like the second feature on Screen one--why, just drive 'round to the other side and watch what's on Screen two!

It'd definitely be screen one all the way, for me--I LOVED "Get Smart" when I was wee! (It was a US sit-com about secret agents...it was great! I used to pretend I was "Agent 99." And, I always like these comic-based films, like Superman and Spiderman and such, so "Hulk" is a good second flick--tho', because it's second feature, I suspect that it's not all that good...2nd features often aren't...but sometimes they do surprise you and are wonderful, you never know.

One of the reasons I seldom use Yahoo any longer, is the ridiculously huge amount of rude junk mail I get--not to mention the scams and possible viruses.

For instance, I just got this in my in-box:

"I'm lying on my bed getting wet, just thinking about you..." Okaay then...I hope he's just got a leak in his roof.

Oh, and love the one's addressed to "Nancy," that offer to enlarge my "penis." I'm an old maid, not a transvestite...I never get to have that much fun.

While I'm praying for anything regarding eppy 11 to turn up on YouTube (hopefully), I thought I'd pick on David Tennant some more. I mean, why not? It's not like I have any better to do, today...it's more entertaining than doing the washing up and hoovering, at least.

What people REALLY mean, when they say this about David Tennant:

"I sometimes call him 'David Ten-inch."
TRANSLATION: "My God his feet are enormous!"

"He's a very intense actor"
TRANSLATION:
"His farts are incredibly concentrated and powerful!"

"Thousand of British girls and women--and some men, think he's the sexiest actor on television."
TRANSLATION:
"British girls and women--and some men, don't get out very much."

"David always gives a very energized performance."
TRANSLATION:
"The man REALLY needs to stop swilling down 30 cups of black coffee before he starts work in the morning."

And, finally:

"I'm sure David very much appreciates, deep down, all the affection that his fans have shown him."
TRANSLATION
"My gawd, that's one hyper-active little puppy he has in his pants."

With apologies to Mr. Tennant--just a bit of fun. (& again, NO fan-girls, the man WILL NEVER read my blog, so no more "I love you David's" in my comments box, ey?) Seriously, he's a brilliant actor, nearly as good as Derek Jacobi, James Stewart or Olivier, almost.

"Who me? I wasn't staring down your blouse, Catherine, your chest simply happened to be looking directly towards my eyes, that's all..."

While I'm taking a break from sorting out the front room, thought I'd listen to more tunes. Two different internet radio stations, two different mixes:

Accuradio:

TITLE/ARTIST (Decades: 70's mix--nice station, very few adverts and you can skip songs your're not too keen on.

(They started off the mix with several songs from when I was 18/19 years old...)

My Life/Billy Joel
Old Time Rock & Roll/Bob Seeger and the Silver Bullet Band
Bad Girls/Donna Summer "toot-toot-yeah-beep-beep!" Disco lives! Disco foreva!
Turn the Beat Around/Vicki Sue Robinson
Sweet Seasons/Carole King
Wildfire/Michael Martin Murphy
Back Home Again/John Denver
Mandy/Barry Manilow
Disco Inferno/The Trammps
Saturday/Chicago
An Old Fashioned Love Song/Three Dog Night
Hotel California/The Eagles
Rhiannon/Fleetwood Mac
Take it Easy/The Eagles (GREAT "road-trip" song!)
Jet Airliner/Steve Miller Band
Long Train Runnin'/The Doobie Brothers
Stairway to Heaven/Led Zepplin
Da Do Ron Ron/Shaun Cassidy (Yikes! I STILL know all the words, over 30 years later!)
Boogie Oggie Oggie/A Taste of Honey

Pandora Radio:

(Currently unable to obtain a license to play in the UK--but supposedly they hope to be able to afford it some time in the future--according to their website... "In the UK, to be a licensed service for all the music we want to play on Pandora, we are being asked to pay per track/stream rates which equate to over 80% of our gross revenues. This licensing framework does not enable any entity to grow an economically viable ad-supported Internet radio business. These rates apply to all Internet radio, or so we have been told. You would have to ask those other companies about how they are still streaming to the UK."

Soluble in Air/Mystery Jets
Mumbles/Bridges and Powerlines
Everyday I Love You Less and Less/Kaiser Chiefs
Sam's Town/The Killers
Ruby/The Kaiser Chiefs
Fire Island, AK/The Long Winters
Don't Stop Believin'/ Journey
Refugee/Tom Petty
Feelin'/The La's
In the Future When All's Well/Morrisey
I Kinda' Got Lost/Chris Bell
Please/The Brokedown
Everybody Wants You/Sioan
Heartbeat/Humble Pie
Deeper Shade of Blue/Steps
Oohh Ahh (just a little bit)/ Gina G
Challengers/The New Pornographers
I'm Always in Love/Wilco
In The Frame/ Rob Laufer
Can't Get You Outta' My Head/Kylie Minogue
Get together/Madonna
Before/Pet Shop Boys
Pandora's Box/Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark
This is Where I Belong/The Kinks
19th Nervous Breakdown/The Rolling Stones
Friends of Mine/The Zombies
Freedom/The Housemartins
The Prisoner/ The Clash
If Anyone Falls/Stevie Nicks
Our Earth Was Once Green/Runrig
Flirting with Time/Tom Petty
Toy Soldiers (live)/Carbon Leaf
I Believe in You/Big City Rock
Las Vegas/Deacon Blue
Peter Collard/The Whitlams
Touch Too Much/The Arrows
I Want You to Want Me/Cheap Trick
Lost Horizons/Gin Blossoms
Waiting/Freezer Door
Love on the Moon/The Sutherlands
Roamin'/Fat Mistress
It's Your Thing/Isley Brothers
Bellicose/My Dad Versus Yoursm

I woke this morning, dying for a hamburger. What's with that????

Very strange.

Don't have any hamburger, so I guess it's just good ol' honey-nut shredded wheat for me, this morning, LOL.

Nice day, today. Not a cloud in the sky, not too hot, not too cold. Good day for a drive (I know, I know, global warming, carbon footprint, yadda-yadda-yadda...but I don't have a car anymore, so I can indulge in such fantasies.)

"Carbon Footprint." That's the new power-word among the trendy set, these days. People and their posh words. Why don't they just say it like it is---"QUIT HOGGIN' ALL THE PETROL AND DESTROYING THE OZONE LAYER, YOU IDIOT!"

Ah, well.

Got some mellow 70's tunes on the radio. Love my 1970's music. I ALWAYS had a radio on, from the time I got my first radio at 10, until the early 1980's. I used to be able to name every single top ten hit, from every year of the 1970's.

Of course, now that I'm in my upper-40's and edging into early senility, can't really do that, anymore.

Oh, here's an irony: I'm being put on Procrit shots, to help me feel less fatiqued and more alert....except...the Procrit comes with a warning not to do any activity that requires you to be alert and needs you to concentrate, because it makes you kind of dopey.

So...doesn't the one thing, cancel out the other thing?

Have a great Saturday, all!

Seems CBS News, over here on my side of the Big Pond, made a really huge boo-boo, not too long ago.

They reported that there's been an increase of earthquake frequency, and that it may be linked to global warming. Mind you, with zero scientific EVIDENCE to back this up, not sure how anyone could begin to make this as link. Sounds good though, doesn't it?

Seems they withdrew the story very quickly--with no comment--after a few calls into the network's HQ by members of the scientific community, pointing out the fact, that the Earth was more active in 1900, than it is now, and also the total lack of any research, to base this conclusion on.

Later it was revealed that the source was some New Age "scientist" called Tom Chalko, who recently published a report titled, "Can the Earth EXPLODE?"

Seems Chalko is big on something called, "bioresonance."

"What the heck is THAT?" you may ask. Beats me, but it sure sounds good, doesn't it?

"I can't believe it! My agent is making me practice my snogging while I'm on hold!"

In 1986, the BBC launched the Dr Who USA tour, to great fan-fare.

At some point, it made its way to our neck of the woods, and our local fan club was asked to both host the exhibit and also to act as "helpers." It was sooo-exciting, as a fan, to attend this.

Now, my memory being fuzzy, I was always under the impression that this was in '87, but I suppose it must have been '86, according to the source I found.

As part of my duties, I had to hand out brochures and assist with the souvenier stand.

For our efforts, we were awarded a special peek inside the trailer. As one entered the "Tardis" door on towards the rear of the trailer, one was greeted by a Tardis console.

Strangely enough, only this past weekend, while going through a box of old family photos, I found my journal (what was left of it after my roof where I was living at the time, collaspsed in an ice storm, and leaked water all over my bedroom)...and there was two pages devoted to my time at the exhibit--unfortunately, more than half those pages suffered severe water damage and are illegible now (my mum sometimes hung onto the oddest things of mine to keep--thought I'd thrown that journal out, years ago!)

Anyway, what I could read, was a blurb about being allowed to touch the console--which I gather, wasn't normally allowed--in fact, I seem to remember it being specially protected, but I may be wrong. so, I guess I must have looked enthralled, because one of the guy's running the exhibit for the BBC, pulled me aside and, smiling, told me it was okay for me to touch it. Believe it or not, I was absolutely chuffed. No one else in our group was allowed this privledge, and I'm not sure why I was singled out, but I'm glad I was.

I wish I could say that I remember the rest of the displays....but I think I was still so over the moon about the console thing, that I didn't take the rest of it in very well--tho' I remember the Cyberman mask and the Dalek, of course--those were pretty unforgettable.

As we exited the trailer, I was startled to see a film crew there. Aparently a crew from "Breakfast" had shown up, and, being the first to exit the exhibit, I was motioned over to be interviewed--and I haven't a clue what I said, but I'm sure, being totally unprepared, I probably sounded an idiot, ha-ha.

The trailer went on it's merry way...tho' I still have that photo of me.

But, someone recently found the trailer in a scrap yard, and here's a website that shows what it looked like, in it's entirety. It was all hand-air brushed, with the Tower of Rassilon, I think as it's main feature. The entrance and exit doors were made to look like the Tardis door---it was really cool.

http://www.drwhoexhibitions.co.uk/usatour.htm

Yes, I had the tee shirt....and the bag, for years, 'till they wore out.

Someone send out the anorak police, and tell them to bring the padded truck.

I'm thinking of taking the Genesis song, "Illegal Alien" and re-wording it to,"I'm a Whovian, I'm a hopeless Whovian..."

I keep getting invites from Yahoo groups--these come with a bunch of attachments with the word "blue" appearing in them, a lot.

In both cases, there's no explaination as to who it is, or what the group is about. A Google search in both cases revealed nothing.

Also, note, in both cases, the "group" was a man's name followed by two numbers.

Last invite was from "Marioblackwell55" group. There doesn't seem to be any such group.

This, I suspect, is either a virus, or a phishing scam.

Be VERY careful if you get a Yahoogroups invite from a stranger, in your e-mail in-box!

Well, I'm insolvent again.

After paying the Natl. Grid bill and buying half a week's shopping---had to put back the kitty litter, poor tykes are going to pee in dirty litter, this week, unless I can scare up some extra change from under the bed. Anyway...need 15 dollars for cab fare to go for my Procrit shots, this coming week, which is about all I have left after the electric bill and groceries.

I keep seeing articles in the local paper about how "hard" these formally well-off middle class families are having it. I am sorry, but thousands of their less well-paid counterparts in the lower middle class have been feeling the pain (from the combination of high priced petrol and escalating food prices) since last summer...it's taken nearly a full year for the middle class to start hurting...so if things continue in this vein, it'll be the upper-middle class whining next year, I reckon.

With missing a day and a two and a half days of work again this week, for being out sick, my paycheck is going to be a bit scary again, next week. So much for a relaxing, enjoyable summer. Well, one day a year out...that was something anyway, so I really can't complain...I did so enjoy my day in Saratoga, last month. Maybe come the end of summer I'll be able to do it again, maybe even spend the day at the races or at the beach or something, if I can manage it. We'll see....still can't manage to get down to Albany to put flowers on mum's grave.

I did splurge slightly...they had rotisserie chickens on sale for a dollar off, and I bought one--I can make it stretch into a couple of meals. Bought cheese and cold cuts from the deli, for the rest of the week, and I've still some stuff in the cupboards and freezer...it'll be fine, it's only 7 days till' my next pay-day, not like two weeks or something like that.

Well, I've chores to see to--had to re-arrange the front room, to put the desk in, so everything's sort of in limbo, 'till I can figure out where to move things. Bit of an obsticle course in here, at the moment.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, cheers, Nancy G.

Presidential historians pick Obama to win in November, due to the economy, the war and the republicans constant lies and bumbling.

However, straw polls show otherwise, giving McCain a narrow victory over Obama.

Why? Some people feel Obama has not been as forthright as he claims (for instance, recently cosying up to Israel--while at the same time saying he wanted peace in the Middle-east, and also some Musllim women were not allowed into one of his political rallies, casting doubt about his claims of being for equality.)

Mostly though--it's because he's black.

Many of my fellow countrymen and women, are still living in the 19th century, when it comes to how they view ANYONE who is black. In fact, some "men" are still quite violent in their hatred...millions of them, actually.

Obama won't lose--if he does lose, based on his beliefs, he will lose based on his colour...and the sad thing is, NO ONE mentions that. Not one peep in the media, that I've heard, addresses the pathetic reality that racism is still quite rampant in America.

Already the racist cartoons and slogans are hitting the independent media and the internet.

Oddly enough, the far right is even doing an oxymoron, and calling Obama a racist!

So, this morning got that message that my one of my Dr Who fan-fics (Pyramid Project) was "way too long," yadda-yadda-yadda.

Now, someone is upset with me for unthinkingly posting a promotional pic (which is ALREADY out there on the BBC's official Dr Who website, by the way) on one of my blog entries.

It's not really a spoiler any longer though, because people from the show (producer/cast) have said who's going to be in the final episode and the promotional photos have already been PUBLICLY released!

Also, the pic in question was PURPOSELY re-sized by me, to make it harder to see--I mean, this person must have had his or her face right up to the screen, to make out all of the details.

What do YOU think? Is it a spoiler? http://oldmaid.blog.co.uk/2008/06/19/a-poem-basied-on-dr-who-google-searches-4338238

Ah well, at least "Runewarrior" didn't dis my poem....

"Actually, it really is this big. Why else do you think the girl's adore me?
I make the biggest haggis in all of Scotland."

I had a really odd dream last night.

I dreamed I was living in a small city, near a small airport, and this plane was about to crash. In my dream, the jet was hovering in the air, smoking, and everyone was watching it, waiting for it to crash.

It really, at that point, started to become two dreams in one.

What I mean is, there was this drama with the plane going on, but at the same time, another factor crept into the dream--and it was like two dreams playing in my head at once.

You see, as the dream unfolded, it turned out that the plane, when it crashed, was going to explode and wipe out pretty much the entire city.

In my dream, I kept telling everyone to run...but hardly anyone listened.

At the same time, as the city slowly began to get wiped out, and me and a couple of others were running through deserted streets and down long empty hallways, a bunch of military-like people came in, and started chasing down the survivors...including me.

Okay, this is where it really gets weird...to escape detection at a "check-point," I was changing out of my jeans, swapping them with some anonymous guy, when I literally (in the dream) got caught with my pants down.

It was a long dream and there was more to it, but...wow, don't know where that came from. Too much Doctor Who???

The Lake George Forum closes its doors today, after just three years in operation. The forum, which was built over the site of a popular Lake George motel, housed an ice rink with ice bumper cars, a fitness centre, snack bar and hosted numerous events, such as the Lake George Elvis Festival and The Outdoor Living Show.

Today it closes its doors for good, having gone bankrupt and facing foreclosure. No buyers are in sight, and the the Forum--in debt for over $3,000,000, has been selling off their ice skating and other equipment to the Glens Falls Civic Center.

On top of not paying their mortgage and other debts, the owners also haven't paid their taxes lately.

And, what's the last event to be held at the Forum today?

An Internal Revenue Service convention.

How's THAT for irony?

A rainy day here, again though...better rain than that awful tropical heat.

And, despite feeling wrung out from this illness, I have to try work a long split shift today, anyway...while trying to squeeze in two trips in-between shifts, one to the hospital lab, one to Price Chopper supermarket to cash my pay check and pay the second half of my National Grid bill.

Had a brief power failure at a bit past five this morning--only 10 seconds, but I'm guessing that our phones at work might be a bit wonky when I come in--as often happens whenever the power goes out, even for a few seconds. I'm guessing someone may have hit a utility pole with their car or truck, as there were no storms around, but heaven knows with National Grid these days.

I'm a bit miffed this morning. Some bloke writes a comment and then a message, asking very nicely if I'll provide some tourism info for him, as (supposedly) he's coming to my area. Well, he WAS so polite, and since I had trouble sleeping last night, I obliged him. Yeah. This morning I get a message in, saying "That's not what I asked for." Oh?

The bloke messaged me for info about attractions in my "general area," and added, "particularly outdoor activities, historical places and cultural attractions.", so I wrote down everything I could think of....and he's not happy with that? What did he want, if not those things? Or, if he only wanted info for one specific area, why the heck didn't he say so?

Anyway, I deleted that post. I don't need that sort of nonsense. I'm not (anymore) a flippin' tour guide! Wow, the nutters you sometimes get on here! (None of you, I'm sure.)

In another message, someone apparently took exception to my Midnight review. Seems the young person (tho' could be an adult, but I hope not) bashed me over my (largely) positive review. He or she hated it, and seems to think I should, as well.

Yeah, sunshine? (I'm gonna' do a response like Donna ) Well, maybe you should get your face away from your computer and take a look outside sometime. You may be amazed to find that there's other people besides yourself out there, and, surprise-surprise, we DON'T all happen to think the same as you.

Got another bad review on my latest Dr Who fan-fic blog...another snarky person apparently thinks one of my stories is "too long." Oh well, it's not like I'm a real writer, so I just deleted the comment and moved on.

Well, off to breakfast. I'll be knackered by tomorrow. Hope you lot have a better day then I'll have. Cheers, Nancy G.

Now, it may just be coincidence, but...since I began running neo-con lampoons and anti-republican posts, all those Vote McCain adverts on my website have disappeared.

As a liberal, it sort of makes me choke when I see neo-conservative adverts being placed on my site...the republicans are really working the internet...but, the flip side to that is, we bloggers can use the internet to work the republicans, as well.

The power of the written word, people. Can't beat it.

Sometimes, one person CAN do something, you can make a difference...

...okay, for me, it's a petty something, but it seems to have worked...so far.

Stomach's still a bit...bleh, but going to try and eat something tonight. It's 11pm and I'm only just getting slightly hungry. My appetite is so wonky, these days.

Hope you all have a terrific Friday. Cheers.

While more and more Americans are having trouble just paying the rent or mortgage and buying food for themselves and their families, While millions of Americans are, right now, losing their homes and many more going hungry, As millions and millions of their fellow Americans suffer horribly and sometimes die needlessly, from lack of affordable health care....CONGRESS has just passed a War budget of $162 BILLION dollars.

Do we REALLY want another "Military" republican in charge of this country for four years?

I found a website that tells you the most recent searches for Dr Who...thought I'd turn some of them into a poem--it's absolute rubbish, I know. Please try to refrain from throwing any cream pies at me, ey?

Doctor Who
With curly hair
Ruffled her fingers through Tennant's hair
Tennant Converse trainers
Doctor Who running
Tardis
Picture
Freema Agyeman
naked

Alien description
Rude
Picture of
David Tennant
Dr Who's planet
Cardiff

Well...at least it's not pink or lavender...that wouldn't be very threatening, would it?

Well, as I wrote to some of my friends, I was sent an e-mail asking me to participate in a blog survey--but I had my doubts about that, as I was also requested to post my answers in my blog.

Well, mystery solved. It seems there's an English teacher doing a summer study course with some 16 and 17 year olds. She is trying to encourage them to start writing daily, by using their choice of either a personal journal or an online blog. As part of her introduction to blogging, this teacher asked her students to come up with some survey questions. Then, they were pair off in groups and select a certain number of bloggers to send the surveys to.

Apparently one of the students latched onto my blog.

So, it sounds kind of like an interesting project, and since the teacher was so kind as to respond quickly to my queries, I am going to post my answers here, as requested.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

1. What part of the world to you live in?

Northeaster New York state, United States

2. How long have you been blogging?

Since 2006

3. About how many visitors do you get to your site each day?

Well, it varies from week to week. I was averaging between 700 and 800, until this weekend. This week, it's been averaging just over 1000 visits per day.

4. What do you blog most about?

My daily life...what's going on in my day, how I'm feeling about something, stuff like that. Also, talk aboout my favourite television programme, make jokes and funny captions.

5. Have you ever used your blog to raise funds or awareness for a charity?

Good question, by the way. Yes. I have used my blog to help raise funds for a Hospice in Scotland, and also to twice I've spent the day blogging to raise awareness for an enviromental issue, and most recently for a human rights issue.

6. Do you ever use your blog to discuss social and/or political issues that are of concern to you?

Yes, sometimes. But not that frequently.

7. Do you ever discuss anything related to popular culture?

Just mostly Doctor Who (a British television series) and sometimes music I'm listening to. I'm not really into pop culture any more.

8. Do you ever use your blog for creative purposes?

Again, sometimes, but not that often. Sometimes I'll post poems or fan-fiction stories or short 100-word stores.

9. If you were asked to give your advice, what books, videos and/or music would you recommend to your blog readers?

That's a tough question, really.

BOOKS:
Of course, I'd recommend Dr Who. Books? Not sure. I just finished reading a book called My Father's Notebook that was interesting reading. Erm--I am fond of Louis L'amour's westerns, and his book, "The Walking Drum," is my #1 favourite read of all time. I also like Steven Saylor's mysteries set in ancient Rome, and the mysteries of forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs, and the detective stories of Raymond Chandler. Biographies I'd recommend would be "Harriet Jacobs--A Life" which is about the life of a slave girl, and "Last of the Great Scouts"--which may be no longer in print, about Buffalo Bill Cody written by his sister. Non-fic...an interesting book called "Nickel and Dimed," about America's working poor, and one called "The Lost Ships of Pisa," and "Essays" by Ralph Waldo Emerson. My favourite classics are Cannery Row by John Steinbeck (a "new" classic), The Three Musketeers, Wuthering Heights, and Robin Hood.

DVDS/FILMS:
I don't go to films or rent DVD's so all I can recommend there is some favourite older films: Arsenic and Old Lace, The Little Shop Around the Corner, Stagecoach, Errol Flynn's "Robin Hood," Vertigo, The Birds, North by Northwest, Guarding Tess, True Grit, My Fair Lady, The Christmas Story, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Zorro, The Dirty Dozen, The Out-of-Towners (orig. Version w/Jack Lemon), all the James Bond films (except Moonraker maybe), The Guns of Navarone, Breakfast at Tiffany's, A little-known film called, "Lilies of the Field," Disney's Love Bug movies, the first Star Wars film, Gone in Sixty Seconds, The Goodbye Girl, The Outlaw Jose Wales, Nine to Five, Tootsie, Galaxy Quest, Saving Grace, School of Rock. Foreign Films: The Colour of Paradise (ending made me cry) and The Closet.

TV DVD's: Dr Who, Star Trek The Next Gen, West Wing, Are you Being Served? All Creatures Great and Small, Father Ted, Keeping Up Appearances, The Equalizer, The Wild, Wild West, Columbo, The Lucy Show (NOT to be confused with "I Love Lucy"), Law and Order, MASH, All in the Family, the Carol Burnett Show, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (US version) and theearly years (1970's) of Saturday Night Live. And, if it's out there on DVD, very highly recommend "Remember WENN," a very high-quality short-lived programme on the A&E network, that was like watching a Broadway play each week...and actually starred top stage actors, instead of the usual American sit-com buffons.

MUSIC:
Well, I'm a John Denver fan for over 30 years...but other than that...I'm just getting back into listening to music regularly (long story)...hard to recommend stuff when I'm new to most of it, myself?

that said, right now, I like The Proclaimers, Ramsey Lewis, The New Pornographers, Heartsfield, The Kaiser Chiefs, Runrig, Kate Wolf, Three Dog Night, The Beach Boys, Queen, recently discovered Kylie Minoque and a band called The Mystery Jets...there's a few more, but I can't think of them, at the moment.

10. Have you made any friends or enemies from blogging?

Another good question! Yes, I've made some good friends through my blog..some best friends, even. Enemies? Oh, probably, sure. Not everyone is going to agree with everything you have to say--and quite frankly if someone did, that would worry me. It's fairly rare, but unfortunately, sometimes you attract some nutters. Mostly though, blogging has been a very positive experience for me.

In a bid to cash in on the popularity of the programme Doctor Who, while the series is on temporary break until late 2009, the BBC has commissioned a major Hollywood film, based on a series of popular films back in the 1990's, starring Rick Moranis.

This series sees Rick playing the Doctor's latest companion, in the feature film called, "Honey I shrunk the Doctor!" The series is to star young star Ima Bratt, playing a pint-sized version of actor David Tennant. The film is slated to open in cinemas world-wide in mid-August of 2008.

A well-meaning person sent me a link to some free trip giveaway in Wales. Sounds lovely, really it does--just my sort of thing, some of the tours I read about--even got one where you can ride on a beach, which I've never done, but always wanted to do. Anyway...I have all I can do, most months, just getting a cab or bus to the shop a mile or two down the road--tho' there was that lovely day out in Saratoga Springs, (15 miles away) last month.

As an aside, also got another e-mail inquiring about holiday activities in my part of the world--whew! That would take up a lot of e-mail space, replying to that! I'm very pleased to have wound up in the Adirondacks, instead of my native Albany, NY...still, while I've lived in the resort towns, and taken a lot of local drives in the area...and yes, I've been a museum tour guide, so I'm knowlegeable about some local history...still...I'm not a blinking travel agent, and I am not sure why I'm suddenly getting these inquiries. This person wasn't even polite about it, but very presumptive...assuming, I suppose that I'd be happy to spend a few hours ringing up local hotels for prices....riiiight. For a friend or even a really nice person...probably would. But...I hate when people I don't know, or barely know, try to take advantage of me just because I'm maybe polite or trying to be helpful, don't you?

Anyway, much as I'd love a chance for a free trip to Wales--or ANYWHERE, for that matter, I am forced to take a pass.

Here's the link, if you want to have a go:

http://www.shaggysheep.com/Quiz.htm

"So you see, ladies and gents of the press, I are out here, tellin' it like it is--an' that is, the only way we can ever achieve world peace, is by nuking the hell outta' everyone. Now, if ya'll will excuse me, I'll let Conde answer your questions while I run to the nearest fall-out shelter."

"No! I'm not leaving the show! I'm going to be the 10th Doctor forever---I've been signed on for life...damn that Russell and his "Oh, it's not a contract, you're just signing an autograph for my niece..."

Well, my stomach is still making my life hell. I'm teetering as to whether to go to work today. Just spent a half-hour in the loo, so really am iffy about working--want to go to work, just not sure it's a good idea.

I could do a full shift tomorrow, and a couple of hours on Saturday, and make it up, or...go in today and just tough it out. Had to leave work after an hour and a half yesterday, because the bug took over. The doctor was right--this IS a weird bug! I mean, I'll feel perfectly fine (albeit extremely exhausted)...and then, out of the blue, it will strike. Very strange.

Speaking of strange (nice segway, ey?), I got a puzzling comment on my recipe blog. Under the pizza recipes, http://justplaincooking.wordpress.com/2007/12/10/we-deliver-pizza-recipes/

Someone (nicely) wrote that he/she "missed the point." Erm--they're just (mostly) affordable, easy pizza recipes...they're not supposed to have a point, they just...are.

Just updated my "family" recipe blog. ( http://justplaincooking.wordpress.com/ )

If anyone out there would like to share a recipe that is cheap and/or easy to prepare (no posh ingredients, but stuff you can find in any small to medium size grocers), please feel free to send me a message via this blog. If I get enough responses (enough being even just one), I will start a special page, featuring your "home cooking" recipes.

My blog features American recipes, but recipes from other parts of the globe are always welcome.

Recipes range from hot dogs and hamburgers, to soups and salads, and casseroles/skillet suppers to main meat dishes.

Well, got the new (used) computer desk in place (hoo-ray). Few minor glitches--I cannot put the tower in the space for it, below, because, apparently, the idiot tech who installed my ethrenet cable, put it into both the box and the computer so tight, that I simply cannot remove either end of it. Tried and tried...won't unplug from either end. So, tower has to take up space on the desktop--it also made moving my computer from the dresser to the desk, much harder than it had to be.

But, at least I can SEE the monitor screen now, at last...

However, typing's a bit of a bother, because I don't have any chairs the right height--well, there's one, but it's hard wood, and not at all comfy--a "hemorrhoids" chair, I guess you could say.

So, pulled a lawn chair from off of my balcony...too short though, and I have to reach up to type...will try a kitchen chair and the other balcony chair....feel a bit like Goldilocks, though..."this chair is too short...this chair is to hard...."

Love being able to see the screen properly again, though...what a blessing! Being without a desk since Nov. 07, has really been a trial, at times...try sitting sideways and typing with a key board in your lap, whose wire barely reaches...and using an upturned cardboard box as your desktop for your mouse...all while trying to see a screen perched 2 feet away on top of a small dresser...oh yes, a trial indeed. I really do feel blessed to have this.

"Actually, Billie just made that nickname up to tease me, it's not nearly as big as tha---oh. That red light on the camera means that you're recording this, doesn't it?"

Someone sent me an e-mail with a link to this Youtube video of some David Tennant interview over there in the UK. Since the first half of the interview (Not shown here) has Mr. Tennant discussing Hamlet, I'm guessing that this is fairly recent? I know that the political discussion has been in some of the UK papers that I read online---I think the Times and the Guardian, if I'm not mistaken.

But I really feel for the young actor, being sandwiched between what appears to be Britain's equivilent of a neo-con, and a staunch liberal. (I take it from the ensuing conversation, that Mr. Tennant's a liberal, like myself? Or am I incorrect--not that it matters, I suppose, none of my business.)

Anyway, here's my view--I know I'm not British, but as a liberal, I'm very keen on civil liberties. I've seen Bush and his neo-con buddies strip away our liberties all under the paranoid guise of "homeland security."

I think the woman's arguments--while well intentioned, are a bit, well...stupid. Listening to her, I can almost hear my mum yelling at my sister..."Just because your friends are doing it, doesn't mean you have to." I mean, yeah, it's always great to allow police more time to investigate someone, sure it is. But, what if that someone is completely innocent? I mean--what's this mindless cr*p about "People have a right not to be bombed," nonsense?

That's the most ridiculous argument I have EVER heard someone from Britain, ever make! You also have a right to walk down to the shops without being harrassed by some drunken yobs, right? But, I'm sure it happens....and the drunken yobs have rights, same as you do, unfortunately. The problem with civil liberties and democracy, is that in order for civil liberties to work--they have to apply to EVERYONE.

So, 42 days may not seem like much to you or me--but to someone innocent, who's been caught up in some paranoid pre or post-terrorism frenzy, that extra few days can seem like a lifetime. And to suggest that no one innocent, would be caught up in this, to brush aside that like it means nothing....makes someone no better than the people who planted the bomb.

Anyway, this woman sounds EXACTLY like George Bush---has she been sleeping with him?

This is the ONLY nation on the planet, whose citizens actually take pride in being STUPID.
The REALLY scary thing is, that we are supposed to be the most powerful country on the planet--yeah, well obviously we didn't get that way by THINKING.

(Filmed at a gun show in Oklahoma--where the wind sweeping down the plains is now, apparently, punctuated by automatic gunfire--shot by 4 and 5 year olds.)

Just want to add, that when I was around 13 years old, at a village fete to raise funds for the village's new volunteer ambulance service, we had a booth where one could smash a junk car with a sledge hammer for 50 cents--with safety glasses on. But, one had to be over 12 years old and supervised by a parent to participate. Now we let kids who are barely out of diapers fire machine guns? America has truly become a nation of fools.

You know, I hate it on my job, when I call and ask for someone, and some person says, "You know, he WORKS for a living!"

What an incredibly stupid thing to say. I mean, unless you're a housewife, retired, sick, unemployed, or homeless--then ALL the rest of us DO work for a living!

Okay, some people harder than others....

And why in heaven's name, do these morons think that telemarketers don't work? Look at all the idiots, rude people and rubbish behavours we have to deal with, for hours on end, day after day.

And, lots of us telemarket, because we're DISABLED and CANNOT work at other occupations. It's really charming, hearing some macho hunting enthusiast guy yelling over the phone at one of our reps in a wheelchair. Or some snarky rich guy, telling a senior rep (who, unlike the person on the other end of the phone, HAS to work post-retirement in order to survive), "why don't you get a REAL job?" Oh, Americans are soooo--mentally lazy.

I'm big on courtesy and respect, because it's basically what seperates human beings from livestock. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be thought of as human.