I Ain't Afraid of No Daleks

"Okay people, who wants to play Frisbee with my award?"

Did I just wax romantic in that last blog entry?

My God, now I know I'm getting on in years.

It's not that I don't want to ever date, mind you. I'd love to date, but...God just had other plans for me, I guess. There will never be a partner for me, in this life, and truly, I have indeed accepted that. In the real world, sometimes for some of us, we are just alone and that's the end of it.

There's no Romeo for this old maid--heck, there's not even a Tom or David or Johnny.

I can't really blame the guys. I'm not exactly easy to look at, and, I really don't have much experience with dating...well, who wants to date a 47 year old that's never even been kissed and can't be...intimate? No guy I know of.

I probably don't help things any, I suppose. I've never been a cuddling and kissing type--tho' I do like a nice hug, ha-ha.

Truth is, I hate being nice to guys. Well, let me re-phrase that, I like being friends with guys...except that somehow they get it all backwards and mistake my simply being nice, as me coming on to them. No. I'm just being polite and friendly...but, when your ugly and awkward...you can't just be friendly to a man, it seems.

Plus, most nice guys don't look once at women like me, let alone twice.

But, that's okay. No, really. I will never be one of these women who has to have her man around her, all the time, or needs constant attention. I can go days, weeks, months even, without hearing from a close friend or family member, and I'm totally okay with it. If someone is too busy to hang with me...fine. I totally get that other people have their own lives to live. In fact, I'm often taken aback when one of my friends makes time to call me, or write me, or send me something. I have become totally used to being on my own--or I guess I should say, un-used to, getting attention.

I've never had a relationship...not even a long-distance one, and I probably never will.

I'm a bit like a desert plant, I suppose. One of those plants you can just put on the windowsill, and more or less forget about, until it needs watering once every few weeks. And, that's okay. That's me, that's my life. It's who I am.

But...sometimes I know that I'm missing something. And yeah, it saddens me--but, then I just shrug it off and forget about it, get on with my life, same old me.

Hi all,

Well, it's Thursday, hoo-ray. Yeah, whatever. They made us move our desks at work today--a process which can take a half-hour, while you find an empty space elsewhere. I had to disinfect this desk--the night kids..ugh, sticky, stained nasty desktops do not make you want to sit at them. Teenagers don't just not clean their room's, they also make a mess in the workplace. Anyway, got moved, with the loss of some paperwork, and then..the system went down for 20 minutes. Ah well.

Anyway, it was a lovely night, last night. A soft spring breeze, heralding in some rain--so far only a few sprinkles, the moon lurking behind some thin clouds. Not too warm, but not at all chilly. A romantic breezy night, a wind that would make lovers want to waltz under the moon, and Romeo woo Juliet on her balcony.

And me, I spent the night looking at the cars and people going by, down below, watching the wind playing with the petals of the colourful pansies, and the bats wheeling in the pale skies. Sitting petting Flame and listening to Kylie and wishing for the first time in a long while, that I too, had someone wooing me below my balcony.