Hi all,

I'm not supposed to be on here at work, but I have so many lovely friends on here, I wanted to appraise you of what's up with me.

It's not good news, I'm afraid.

I've been quite ill, and was hospitalized last week. Just got the bill,of over 1000 dollars. I've not been working much, and basically am not doing well, wish I could say otherwise, sorry.

In a nutshell, my downward spiral has escalated, and it isn't looking great. I'm still in there trying, but my resistance is wearing down. Being without any phone or internet is tough, being cut off from the outside world, except when I'm in the office.

My days are mostly spent resting, petting the cats (which I have to put to sleep soon :( ) I wrote a Dr Who story for a friend, and play card games on the 'puter, but, I don't feel much like writing now. That bill today, that really took the wind out of my sails--and I was nearly dead-calm to begin with.

A friend sent me a portable DVD player for xmas, plus the DR Who xmas eppy, and some other DVD's, so I was very blessed to see that, and what a true joy it was.

I have given up on God, and myself and life, but...I'm still trying. I don't feel like it. I'm told I have to "take care of myself," but can't. I mean can't, too. Going to hospital, no matter how necessary, caused me more emotional harm and finacial grief, than good. Sure, the pain's better and all, but before, I was holding my own, now--all bets are off. I'm screwed. I've had to reduce my work hours here in the telemarketing office, and my only income will be less than 150 dollars a week--not enough to live on. And, I'm too sick to continue to pound the pavements looking for a second job...and don't have anyway (save my work number here) to have anyone reach me here in Glens Falls, unless it's by snail mail.

Anyway, love you all, you are the best bunch of people ever. I miss you sorely, I truly do. I'm trying to keep smiling and keep floudering through life. I even have a blog that I do, on the Sun Online (okay, don't tell anyone I read that rag, ey?) And..that's it, I suppose. Thanks for everything. Nancy G. (playwrite27)