I Ain't Afraid of No Daleks

Hullo all.

It's a cold but sunny day, on this side of the pond. No snow, so I don't have to slog through any of that white stuff on my way to work this morning.

I got another e-mail from someone, who only lists herself as monicaand10---which I believe translates into "Monica and David," because I was asked why I "hate David," and further, was admonished to "stop having a laugh" at him (David Tennant).

Okay. Here's my response:

moar funny pictures

NO!

And, come on--I absolutely don't hate David Tennant, kids. Just the opposite, really. I'm a fan, but not a fan-girl---big difference. Huge difference. I see him in a different way then most women apparently do, I suppose, I just see him as just an ordinary bloke, who happens to be a good actor. Besides, who cares? It's not like Tennant will ever see the jokes, so what's the big deal?

Well, still under the weather, but feeling a bit more...well...awake, I guess is the watchword here. The bummer is, is that I have to go back to hospital after work tonight.

This would normally be my day off, but I am making up for taking Tuesday off--unfortunately, there's not making up taking yesterday off, so two short pay checks for me--this week and next.

OMG! I spoke to soon---yes, boys and girls, there's snowflakes drifting past my windows--which is very odd, as mostly all I see is blue sky! Must be a cloud over the apartment building, like in the Smith and Jones episode of Dr Who, ha-ha.

Well, it's nearly half-past 8 and I've got to force myself to eat some breaky. It's a long day when you have to have a late lunch--half-past three in the afternoon. Yeah, I have the joy of working 10 to 3 and 5 to 9 today. Ah well. Have a good afternoon all. Cheers.

One of the downsides of this blog--though not a major issue, certainly--is getting "friends" invitations from people who could care less about you--who've probably never even read your blog!

They just want to "collect" captive readers, or worse--like tonight--you get some foreigner whose blog is nothing more than one giant advert. (Whom, if the moron had actually blinking read my blog, would KNOW I can't buy any expensive posh gowns--when I am on the brink of losing the roof over my head, my phone, my internet, and the bulk of my food money.)

Guess this guy is just another graduate of United Idiot's University--or, U-Idiot-U.

I found out, recently, that the word "crap" is considered swearing in the UK! Really?

I suppose it's a bit like saying "bloody" or "bollocks" or stuff, here. We just don't say those words, ever--unless you've been repeatedly exposed to it, like I've been, I suppose.

Over here, Cr*p can mean sh_t, sometimes--taken in the right context, but, more generally, it's just a term everyone uses as a general statement, "I've gotta' clear this crap off'a my desk," "I got a crappy evaluation," "That speech was a load of crap." It's not at all a swearword here, just common, ordinary run-of-the-mill slang. We don't use shite or feck or arse, either. (Sorry if that's swearing to you, to me, it's technically not, as we don't use these words in my culture.)

I'm sure there's naughty words in my own culture that I know nothing about--fortunately. I know too many cuss words as it is, already. Cussing is part of my culture, these days, but it'll never be something I'm completely at home with.

So, I'm back. I got my IV of antibiotics and heaven-knows what all. I've had the tests done--and, I have the very great pleasure (not), of going back tomorrow for another IV. I just missed getting admitted, which is very good news, because being admitted to hospital right now, would literally be a financial disaster for me--it would definitely be my financial Hurricane Katrina. However, that said, it's not good, I'm afraid.

It's not just the angina, but also my other illness--the two, together have me very run down--very. If I were wealthy, or had family I could stay with--and (she winces) sponge off of, I could take the two weeks off that the doctor wants me to, to get bedrest and tests and a transfusion and whatnot. But, that's just simply out of the question. It's just not possible. No way. And if anyone (who regularly reads my blog) doesn't get why, by now, there's no point in my trying to explain it.

I was reading some stuff people wrote, on another blog site, about Doctor Who series Three. I was reading that they'd filmed that rainy, muddy quarry scene, for the Utopia episode, on Valentine's night. Well, good job they don't have our weather in that part of Wales--they'd of been filming in a raging blizzard, ha-ha. They'd of all looked like abominable snowmen!

It was an good thread they had on there, even had a link to a DT interview, which was rather nice, though short. He sounds like he'd be quite interesting to talk to. Probably a bit dull on a date, though. I mean, I imagine he's a fairly normal red-blooded Scotsman, and he'd probably spend the entire date just trying to get a leg over.

The doctor in the ER was rather nice, a whole world nicer than the last one--and, he knows one of my paternal cousins, who's a nurse down in Albany, and he lived in my hometown, for several years, back in the 90's. He mentioned how much he liked living down there--turns out, we both liked the same Italian restaurants: the Purple Pub, Papa's Corner, Spiak's and Valente's. I grew up going to these places with my mum and dad--turns out his mum and dad used to take him to them, too. We had a laugh, when he mentioned that Spiak's hadn't changed much in 40 years (we're about the same age)--they even have the same high-chairs for tots (which I actually do remember sitting in, trying to tackle my first plate of spaghetti). He was a really cool guy.

Too bad he was married, ha-ha. But we had a nice conversation, which I'd not had in a long time...come to think of it, I've not eaten in a proper restaurant, since the springtime--tho' I've ordered takeaway, once in a blue moon.

Small world though, ain't it? Dang, he was good looking, as well: tall, dark and very, very buff...not at all like that rubbish actor...that Scottish guy...the one on Doctor Who...the one below, that looks like he's seriously hung over, and about to hurl all over a Dalek---what's his name?

Well, my ride will be here, soon. I'm off to hospital, to be seen. Unfortunately, I was informed that this infection can prove fatal--only 10% of the time--but it has to be monitored closely, and the slightest adverse symptoms--I was given a list--and, I have to go back to hospital. Bugger. Thank goodness, a neighbour works there, and is being kind enough to offer a ride. She starts at 5pm, so I'll be riding along with her. I suppose I can walk back, save the three bucks in cab fare. I need to save every penny I have, with the loss of a whole day's wages.

Going to be a long night...and a boring one. Is there anyplace more boring than a hospital waiting room? If there is, I've yet to find it.

Ah, well, spending the afternoon resting, and listening to music--the Bridley Brothers, Lemonheads, the La's, Fastball, Proclaimers, stuff like that.

Charlie got out into the hall this afternoon. I went down to see the lady downstairs, to see if I could grab a ride with her, and when I came back in, downstairs--there was big ol' Charile sitting there, looking well-pleased with himself. It was rather amusing, watching him going back upstairs--the little guy is getting just a tad obese, and going up's a bit more of an effort for him, these days. Bit like me, actually..maybe I shouldn't laugh...

Looks a bit like snow, out there. I guess there's a fifty-fifty chance of it, for the next day or two--probably just a few flurries.

No big storms yet, thankfully, though we're slated for a few inches, maybe, on Sunday--which is nothing to us, in a state where the snow has to get over the 2 foot mark to get even a little notice from us natives. Pretty much, nothing shuts us down, except ice storms. Last winter, during the blizzard that dumped 3 feet on us, in 24 hours, many stores stayed open--yes, northeastern New Yorkers will even run errands in a raging blizzard...just another day, ey? We've got very aggressive snow removal here, and the next day, everything was mostly back to normal.

I've driven 50 miles on our equivilent of A and B roads in raging snow storms, with the road just a completely white blank of snow--(my favourite winter driving game: ("Guess where the road is!"), and visiblity maybe half a foot in front of your bonnet--no probs. Winter driving is no big deal--it's the stopping, I'm not always so good at.

God, I miss driving. Don't miss the cost of petrol, the flat tyres, the yearly dreaded state safety inspection (usually very costly with my old rust buckets) the dead batteries, the cost of oil changes, getting stuck behind seniors in caravans, and lost tourists from New Jersey...

Well, it finally happened. Actor David Tennant was asked to snog just one time too many. In filming a scene, where the actor was required to snog three companions, a gorgeous female alien and a soundman named Raplh, his lips seized up, and became permanently locked in kissing posture.

The actor is said to be currently undergoing surgery in Royal Payneintharse Hospital, outside Cardiff, Wales.

Been tweaking my CV this week, on and off, but still think it's rubbish, quite frankly. Well, see for yourself, below (personal details left off, of course, in regards to my name, and contact info, and the names of businesses and organizations still in existence.

NOTE: I still am "stuck" with Mozilla, and Mozilla is rubbish at copying and pasting stuff, I've found, so what you see on here--it's not a nice and neat as the real thing, because it didn't copy/paste correctly, for unknown reasons.

(Name and address and contact info)

PROFILE: A detail-oriented and meticulous worker, able to write at a professional level, with solid reading comprehension and excellent verbal skills, who is accustomed to working in a fast-past noisy environment, but whom is equally comfortable working alone, whenever necessary. A team-player, who is absolutely committed to working to high standards, keen on improving her skills and knowledge, and always willing to implement new procedures. Has familiarity with Davox and Goldmine software, Powerpoint and MS Word, and is totally at home with making both in-bound and out-bound warm and cold calls.

EMPLOYMENT LOCTAION:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, it would not be feasible for me to relocate at present. However, I would seriously take it under consideration in the future. Currently I am only seeking employment directly within the G___ ____ or Q____, NY area at this time.

EDUCATION:

1964-1975: M____ Elementary School
1975-1979: G____ Central High School (NY Regents diploma)
1994: S___ Educational Opportunity Center: (Culinary Arts I certificate)
1999-2003: A____ Community College (A.A. Liberal Arts/Humanities)
2003-2005: C___ State College, Major: Communications/Public relations/Journalism, minor:
writing.

ACADEMIC ACHEIVEMENTS:

• American & World literature: A
• English 201/202: A
• News writing: B+
• Editing: A
• Broadcast writing: A
• Public relations writing: A
• Public Speaking: A
• Technical writing: B+
• Playwriting: A
• Directing: B+
• International studies (overseas water studies seminar): A
• State and Local Politics: A

OFFICE SKILLS:

Extensive experience with phones, from PBX switchboard to single line. Typing speed: 35-40 wpm, very experienced with numerical and alphabetical filing, PowerPoint presentations, word processing, familiarity with fax and postage machines, technical writing.

WORK EXPERIENCE:

Phone and office work:

• 1974-88: M___ Public Library. Volunteer clerk. Duties: answer phone, filing, assist patrons (front desk) and perform various duties under the guidance of the library director.

• 1985-87: Kelly Services, TempPower, ManPower. Duties: temporary par-timet and full-time receptionist, TSR, file clerk, switchboard operator.

• Tranceiver East: Duties: trucking permit order taker/issuer--take in-bound calls and fill out permits for 47 US states via computer terminal and/or on paper. Familiarity with regulations for all states was required.

• Inventory Control Service: Duties: inventory taker for NY/New England regional drug and grocery stores.

• 1987-88: ___ Muffler. Duties: Customer service/secretarial

• 1988-90: T___ Publishing. Duties: Verify accuracy of yellow page listings--outbound aprrox. 500 calls a day, some filing.

• 2006-present: C__&___ Communications. Duties: inbound and outbound calls. Warm sales, collections, cold leads, MR surveys.

RECENT WORK HISTORY:

_____________ Communications, ______, NY. Oct. 2006--present. Title: TSR

T_______ of Lake __, Lake ____, NY. July 2006 to Oct. 2006. Reason for leaving: Seasonal employment. Title: Laundry worker

S___ Raceway, _______ _______, NY. Feb. 2006 to July 2006. Reason for leaving: Economic reasons. Title: Housekeeping (sole office cleaner). Job required NY State gaming license, fingerprinting, and background check.

PERSONAL DETAILS:

Date of birth: ___ ____, 1960
Nationality: American
Marital Status: Single
Health: Non-smoker, Non-drinker .
Driver’s license: __ State Class B, clean.
Passport: USA, Valid.

PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS:

• Active participant in two international studies programs, one to the Netherlands in 2001, and one to Egypt in 2002. Received a certificate of completion from ____ College Leeuwarden (NL) in 2001.

• Award for Academic Excellence in Theater, 2002.

• Vice-president of the A_____ Club at A_____ Community College.

• Regular features reporter for C___ State College newspaper.

• Parental (elderly) caregiver for over 10 years.

• Was the official Lady of the Fair, for the Saratoga County Fair, for 19__.

• This summer, I came up with a fund raising idea, then organized and carried out this fund raiser on the internet, for a hospice program in Scotland.

LEISURE INTERESTS:

Writing, reading, history/archaeology, theater, horses/pets, antiques, listening to music, travel, and charity work.

Volunteer and club work for the past 30 years: A___ Save-A-Stray, C___ Senior Center/Meals-on-Wheels, Veterans of Foreign Wars, Lake ____ Public Library, Doctor Who Northeast, A____ Therapeutic Riding and S____ Therapeutic Riding centers, A____ Hot Air Balloon Festival, T___ ___ Mansion and National B____ museum (tour guide), M____ Public Library, Salvation Army, local food pantry.

Extracurricular (adult education) courses: Floral arranging, horticulture, stable management, heavy equipment operation, hunt seat equitation, local history (Revolutionary War battlefields) course.

REFERENCES: Made available upon request.

I have to take yet another day off--bugger it all!!! My Ludwig's angina is worse today, and I'm having a bit of trouble swallowing, and my chest hurts a bit. That's about 60 dollars out of my next week's pay cheque. America is bollocks. I wish I lived in Canada or anywhere but here. This is the only "free" nation in the world, where a person is penalized for being sick. It's not just lost pay, it's added expense of cabs, medicine and hospital bills...darn good thing I don't have, and don't especially like, guns. I'd blow my stinking brains out, and have done with this blinking torture called life, already.

America sucks.

See? Darwin was absolutely right.

Bart decided to take his girlfriend's dare, not realizing the shark was really just faking being dead...

So I watched some Dr Who tonight---first Davidson's Doctor in the old episode from his series, titled, The King's Daemons. Then, Time Crash.

And now, thanks to David Tennant and Steven Moffatt, I will never be able to look at PD's outfit, ever again, seeing that bloody stalk of celery, without hearing Tennant utter the line, "...and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

Great line, one of the best one-liner's I've ever heard Tennant give--and he's had some fab one-liner's on this series...but now, I can't look at that blasted stalk of celery pinned to Davidson's lapel, without snickering and saying, "Look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

Gee, thanks Steven and DT.

Well, it's nearly 1am in the morning--I tried to go to bed a bit earlier, to no avail. I've been swilling Coke and Pepsi and Coffee half the day, just trying to keep my energy going--and now I'm afraid I'm paying the price for it, as I'm rather wide awake at the moment.

Just a note here, that I am indeed in horrendous pain. I am a bit gobsmacked, that I actually made six sales on my first shift--10 to 3, this afternoon, and all of them with credit cards...but, at about half-past two, I nearly passed out in my seat...but, kept on talking and made that last sale...but only after I reached behind me, and turned on the floor fan that, thank God, was standing there. I'd been rather marginal, in how I was feeling, all day, but had suddenly gotten burning hot, and quite nauseous and woozy, just out of the blue. Gave me a bit of a start, it did.

So, I wrangled my hours a bit--normally when I do the split shifts, I go home at 3 and come back at 5 for the night shift...today I coaxed my supervisor to let me do 6 to 10, instead. So, I went home, had a quick lunch and relaxed a few minutes, then hit the bed at 4, for an hour's nap. It helped some, but I only made one invoice sale (you get $1 to $5 bonus, per credit sale, so invoices are generally what we do as a last resort)--mostly I did nothing, all night...talking was sheer torture.

Basically, I have an abscess now, in my jaw/neck, that's about the size of my fist. And yes, it really, really hurts. I can't wait 'till Saturday, when I can afford to buy the medicine. I am counting the days...what's nearly as bad, today, isn't just the pain. Now, I also have this odd, slightly prickly-ticklish sensation in the base of my head and back of my neck--it really is rather uncomfortable, I must say.

I got a very nice e-mail from some person, complementing me on one of my Dr Who stories, on my DW fiction blog on WordPress. I'm always genuinely surprised--and touched as well, when someone actually likes my fiction. I find it rather dull, myself. I fear I'm not much of a story-teller, and lack the vivid imagination needed to be a good fiction writer. Atmosphere is fun to write--like Poe or one of those other Gothic horror writers. I think, maybe, having spent so much time--mostly by myself, outdoors, in every imaginable time of day and type of weather, and having been in old buildings--including one that yes, was indeed haunted...I think that's why writing an atmospheric piece appeals to me. Because I've been there, I know of what I speak, and, certainly, from this writer's point of view, finding the right words comes a lot easier, when you're already quite familiar with your subject.

Dialog is a piece of cake, as well--as long as I can hear the flow of the conversations in my head--visualize the character, their body movements, the way they speak, inside my head--well, the dialog just happens naturally. It's plot that's tough I think--not just flow, but having a solid beginning and middle, with some gripping rising action--well, you hope it's gripping...and usually, an end, as well. Though these days, that's not always the case. I do try to end each chapter in a tiny bit of a cliff-hanger, because that's one thing I've noticed that I like about some books--particularly the works of Louis L'amour, (I've read nearly every book he'd written), that thing that drives you to turn that next page--keep the ending of each chapter, making people, driving them, to desperately know what happens next. Well, aren't we all like that?

Maybe that's what keeps me here still, on planet earth, and away from the fires of Hell...wanted to know what the next chapter will bring--even tho', well I know, that next chapter could be my downfall.

It's the human drive for the proverbial greener pastures, the desire to find the next horizon, the next bend in the road, what is on the other side of the mountain...even if it means ever more, sorrow and pain---then again, it might not.

Listen up people! It's down to you! YOU have the power to put Sudan in its place.

If you care about humanity, DO SOMETHING. Show Sudan that they cannot behave like pathetic, cowardly little babies, and go 'round beating defenseless women just out of nothing more than spite and predjudice.

Here's what you do:

WRITE!

Not Sudan---write Gordon Brown, George W, Bush, your MP's, your Congressmen and senators--tell them to halt ALL aid to Sudan, until they clean up their act.

It's that simple. I'm doing it. If you care about this, why don't you?

I miss having a Christmas tree--it's not the same, pulling open a closet door, reaching up, pulling out a 3 inch pre-decorated tree from the shelf, and plunking it down on top of the tele.

But, what's lost is lost and can never be regained--it would very much take a few hundred dollars or more, to replace all those family decorations--including the tree--that were stolen.

So, I'm stuck with a ten-second bland silver decorated tree, without the lights and special little ornaments, without the struggle to put it up, and make sure everything is tidy-looking...or, if using a live tree, the excitement of going out, and finding just the right tree, or going into the woods to cut your own.

The joy of finding just the perfect ornament(s) to give as a gift, to help make the tree unique and special, a reflection of Christmases past, and Christmases to come.

But, that's gone forever, now and there's no more sitting in the dark, on Christmas night, listening to carols and admiring the tree.

I miss it a great deal--but I try not to. I mean, it wouldn't be the same, anyway, without someone here to share it with, would it?

Just something to do before I have to slog back to work, for another four hours.

Using the first letter of your first name answer the questions.

The first letter of my first name is "N"

Famous Singer: Neil Diamond
Four Letter Word: Nick
Street that you have been down: North Lyon's Avenue
Colour that expresses your mental state: Natural brown
Gift/Present you would like to recieve: New hiking boots
Type of Vehicle: Nissan Pathfinder
Things In A Souvenir Shop: Naked co-ed volleyball tee shirts
Boy Name: Nathan
Girl Name: Nancy
Favourite Movie Title: North by Northwest
Alchoholic Drink: (no clue, I don't drink)
Occupation: News reporter
Famous Celebrity: Nick Nolte
Magazine: Newsweek
U.K. City: Nottingham
U.S. City: New York, New York
Fruit: Necterine
Reason For Being Late For Work: No cab showed up
Something You Throw Away: nappies (disposible kind)
Something You Shout: No, Don't Jump!

"Knock-knock. Who's there? Beats me, I let my butler get it. I'm too rich and powerful to answer doors."

"The tired and the poor and the huddled masses and I, all think you need to be sent to your room. You're grounded, George!"

"You know, Magilla, you always give me the best advice..."

Okay, DT fan-girls, THIS is sexy:

THIS is...erm--some Scottish guy making a rude gesture?

I do think he's one of the best Doctor's ever, but...As far as Tennant being voted sexiest Doctor Who, I personally feel that Pertwee was much more..manly, more charismatic, as far as sex appeal goes--not that I've EVER thought of the Doctor that way...a sexy Doc? No way.

I've had a couple of people, since one of my posts today was put on here, infer that I was being a bit melodramatic.

Maybe. In which case, I wasn't aware that anyone much--outside of a few good friends, was really following my little saga, that much. So, I will keep mum, as much as possible and try to refrain from the dramatics. I wasn't aware I was giving that impression. I don't like being that way-- I prefer my drama on stage, myself.

However, one person did e-mail me, basically not understanding why I was so upset about the cost of things (medical care/medicine).

So, this is the last time I'll discuss it, since it has some people quite upset with me....okay, let's put this in the simplest possible terms, okay.

My monthly grocery (food) budget, is, very roughly, about 150 to 180 dollars...and that's cutting it down to the bone, 2 weeks out of 4. The antibiotics cost $82--which is coming out of my grocery budget.

The funds don't magically appear out of thin air--they come from my ONE pay check that I get each week--which varies from week to week...it used to peak at 289. It now peaks at 243, and lately has been considerably less--a substantial cut in my budget. (As always, halve that to convert to pounds.)

And it may be melodrama to you, but it's cold harsh reality to me--that I have to deal with alone here. I've got lovely friends--wonderfully supportive and kind--but, they are, all, to a one, in cyberspace-- here, in the physical sense, I'm utterly alone.

I'm not getting much help from the govt. Once you get off disability and start working, they more or less wash their hands of you. And, this may sound drastic--but when I saw that garnishment in my cheque, all I could think was, that I wish I would just die and have done with it...because the pain of knowing I'm working, and have ZERO to show for it...it HURTS, okay? It hurts worse than you can possibly understand. No one wants to feel utterly useless and/or worthless--but that IS how I feel, knowing I'm incapable of supporting myself, that I've hit a dead-end before I'm even 50 years old. And, on top of that, this year marked the first time that my health has failed me. I've very much aged 10 or 15 years in the last 2 years. I'm a 47 year old, who absolutely feels--right now--like I'm 70.

And that's the end of this discussion.

THE DOCTOR DEFEATS THE ALIENS WITH ONLY A PLATE OF BEANS AND SOME GARLIC:

"Thank you for tuning in to Galifreyan anal radio. At the sound of the fart, it's airtime: Bye-bye."

Florida neighborhood on alert over WW II bombs

By Barbara ListonTue Nov 27, 5:09 PM ET

Residents of an Orlando neighborhood of $500,000 homes are stepping gingerly these days since finding live World War II explosives next to a middle school, a day care center, homes and businesses.

"We are stressing what we call the three Rs," said Nancy Sticht, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, which she said means to recognize, retreat and report suspected bombs. "They're old but being old doesn't make them any less dangerous. They can become more unstable over time."

Undetonated bombs and fragments first turned up in July behind Odyssey Middle School, which Stricht said was built within the former Pinecastle Jeep Range leased by the military in the 1940s for troop training.

The school lies inside a target zone that was used for bombing, strafing and air-to-ground rocket practice, according to an aerial photograph overlay prepared by the Corps of Engineers to delineate the apparent bull's eye.

But since the discovery behind the school, other live munitions have been found beyond the target zone, including a 23-pound (10 kg) bomb found in early November by a private munitions company that was hired by a nearby residential developer to make sure his site was safe.

Stricht said the 12,000-acre (4,856-hectare) former Pinecastle Jeep Range is just one of 700 old and potentially hazardous defense sites in Florida alone, including about 100 that dealt with munitions.

A search of old army and county records by the Orlando Sentinel revealed how the problem can spread even beyond the sites' boundaries. The records show that builders have been granted permission since 1999 to excavate the bomb range site for dirt to be used for road and building foundations.

A recent sweep of the school campus and adjacent ranch by the corps identified 2,000 metal objects underground. Each item is being excavated and cleared under an emergency $1.1 million cleanup which began over the Thanksgiving week school holiday and will continue during the Christmas break, Stricht said.

Neighbors, however, are wondering when the rest of the Pinecastle range, on which part of the Vista Lakes residential community has been developed, and the roads and property developed with soil from the range, will be inspected.

The city of Orlando has called on developers to voluntarily check their property before building, and Commissioner Phil Diamond says stronger action may be required.

"I say no testing, no permit," Diamond said.

Vista Lakes developer Newland Communities, a private real estate development company, declined to comment.
Vista Lakes Community, Orlando Florida

Wow, I just found out, that not long ago, on the Justgiving Accord fund raising page, that I was in the number four spot, for the top five Justgiving Accord Hospice fundraisers. And I didn't even meet goal!

Huh. Who'da thunk it?

Page link:

http://www.justgiving.com/accord/raisemoney/

moar funny pictures

"By the way, Freema, while I'm down here--I love yer posh knickers--do those pants come in my size, d'ya think?"

well, this was a very unproductive day, ey?

Oh yeah, went to hospital--but all the guy did was give me a prescription for antibiotics--which, I found, going to the local drug store--it up by a few dollars--$82 dollars now! Well, I don't happen to have that at the moment--but will on Friday. If I don't buy any groceries--except for milk and cat food, I think I can manage it..maybe. Oh, and once again, he admonished me to go to the dentist..a flipping 15 miles away! How does this state expect people to get treatment, when the only treatment is beyond your reach, transport-wise (and financially). They have an emergency dentist at the hospital, but he won't touch me due to the abscess. Terrific.

And, the doctor told me he thought I wasn't "doing too good." And rather sarcastically asked me why I couldn't "be bothered" to see my doctor. Yeah the ER doc, he was very displeased with me--and rather rude, as well.

Yeah, but ask these same huffy, pompous doc's why, if poor people taking care of themselves and getting treated for their illnesses are so important to them, why they refuse to give up their big fat privately paid fees, and move to force the United States government, to humanely move to an NHS style system--oh yeah, then the doctor's dance to a different tune.

I do wish--sincerely--I lived in another country, but of course, I too well am aware, that that likely wouldn't change anything. I'd probably be just as bad, if not worse off, somewhere else, as here. I just wouldn't have to stomach the deliberately crass behaviour and sheer, utter mindlessness of these people any longer. And Bush and the Bush-ites, I'd be rid of them, as well.

Capitalism and Democracy--they don't always mix very well--although many conservative dolts fight America being humane to her own people, by associating national health with socialism (communism)...morons.

And, what's really ridiculous, is that National Health would actually HELP America--there'd be less absenteeism in the workplace, because people would be better equipped to take care of themselves, and, if people didn't have to spend the cost of a car, caravan or even a house, just to keep healthy--that's money that would be going back into local and national economies!

It's completely about cash, in the US, with billions being made by the insurance and pharmaceudical companies-- humanity is small indeed, in the shadow of the dollar bill.

If you told these mindless Americans, that some person in a 3rd world country, has to choose between eating, or paying for medicine, they'd tut-tut and shake their heads. But, tell these same Americans, that that poor person is really one of their own--and...nothing. They just shrug and say, "Well, that's life."

I am so very ashamed of my nation, and what it has become. People have this narrow perception of America--and the minute anyone brings reality into the picture--these days, instead of trying to make things right, or better...Americans run away, drape themselves in the flag, and cry traitor to anyone who tries to point out the scars on the Body Democratic.

And, you can tune a guitar...but can you tune a fish?

Okay, enough with the silly questions. Sorry.

Lovely sunset out there. November is the #1 best time of year for a nice sunset, 'round these parts.

I think it's the contrast: The barren gray and brown trees on the hills, the withered yellow grass, the dark, brooding clouds racing across the sky--and then, the sun starts to go down, and a magical transformation occurs.

The dark clouds are rimmed with orange, the blue skies take on a rosy glow--those sad, gray hills turn a soft red, blank dark windows, facing the sunset, turn the colour of blood, as nature paints us a fleeting masterpiece with her graceful brush, one we can only remember in our minds, after nightfall.

Off to bed now.

I'm a bit scared, tonight. I really need to go to the ER and be seen--I'm in so much misery with this abscess..and it's getting hard to open my jaw and swallow--but...I'm scared.

What if they want to keep me overnight again? My budget won't survive that. I have no insurance--what if I need surgery or something again? Do you know, US hospitals charge surgeries by the MINUTE? I am NOT joking. I have no insurance--the antibiotics alone cost more than my total net worth at the moment!

I don't know what to do. If I go, it would have to be at 9pm, after work, which would very likely mean going nearly 24 hours without sleep, if they keep me all night waiting to be seen, or have a proceedure done--No, I don't think I can go.

I want out of this pain, but...I also want not to be homeless--so desperate am I not to be homeless, I'd gladly and willingly risk my health--my very life, over it, that's how much I fear being on the streets.

I'll delete this post in the morning, probably. I don't want people thinking I'm feeling sorry for myself or begging for sympathy. I'm just expressing my feelings.

America sucks, and so do I. That's how I feel, these days.

Man, I hope DT never sees these...

FREEMA: "John! I told you never to yell, "Let 'er rip!" around David--now see what you've done! Ewwww!"

David: "Phawwwat! He-he!"

"Hey John, Freema! 'Wanna' hear me fart out the tune to "Flower of Scotland?"

FREEMA: "No!"
JOHN: "You can do that? Cool!"

"You'll have to smoke elsewhere, mate. I just did a whopper of a fart, you'll blow us all to kingdom come!"

My mind's getting so muddled, these days, and I'm so run-down. Today, I got into the lift to go back upstairs to the office, the doors closed...and I just stood there, staring at the buttons, without a clue what I was supposed to do. I've only been working on the 3rd floor for over a year now...you push "3," right? Took my mind a full minute to grasp that basic fact.

That's not good, is it?

I hate being sick. It sucks.

I looked out the window this morning, to see that a touch of snow fell, last night--not much though...and this is a bit strange--all the snow, what little there is, is on the ground from my corner, to up the street, heading north--but from the next street down (a mere 50 feet away), and going south ..there's no trace of snow at all, it's just wet. How odd is that?

I used to love the snow, adored it.

Especially at night. For those of you city and town dwellers, I must tell you, there is indeed, something enchanting about snow on a late winter night.

For one thing, there's a silence in a late-night snowfall, that you won't ever find in the noise and haste of the city. That you won't find anywhere, except maybe out in deep space, or at the bottom of the ocean.

You stand there, in road or field or wood, enshrouded by the quietude of the moment, but a peace so pure, and to make you feel you are in the presence of God.

You see your breath, fogging out, the white chips of snow, swirling down, feel your heartbeat, the wet sting of the snow on your face, smell the tang of the pines or perhaps just the clean bite of air washed by the cold...but you hear...nothing...or almost nothing.

Because if you listen closely, in that one flawless moment, you can hear the snow falling, soft as the feathers of an angel's wings, and in that one moment of sinless pleasure, you will feel like you have touched immortality.

Recently, while being interviewed inside his on-set caravan, David Tennant admitted that the secret to his sexiness may lie in his kissing techniques--which he reveled that he practices in the mirror, twice daily. Tennant showed off his kissing technique--as well as his trademark "sleepy/pouty face"-- for our cameras, in the exclusive photo above.

Gah--I HATE living in the city! 7 flippin' O'Clock this morning, what does the city do? Sends a great big ol' bucket loader 'round, outside on the street below, to scape the leaf piles away from the pavement and kerbs. Gee, thanks for that, I love being rudely awakened a half hour before my alarm goes off.

Oh, and I was sooo--warm and cozy and comfy, under the covers. City life stinks.

In the country, the loudest noise you'd hear at that hour, might be a raven, bluejay or crow, squaking from the treetops.

Generally, when I'm working split shift--days and nights both, I don't get up 'till half-past seven or eight in the morning. Going to be a long day now...stinking Glens Falls public works department.

I talked a while back, briefly, in one of my posts, about auctions.

Yes, I do love a good auction--but, when it comes to a farm auction, or an estate auction...a part of me feels a bit of sadness--even though it's nothing to do with me.

Yet, even before I truly know what loss was, I still felt something--some tug at some musty, cobwebbed corner of my soul, whenever I watched someone's life being auctioned away--piece by piece. I might or might not see the person--who might or might now be alive or dead...still, there's something, almost surreal, in being a by-stander in the parceling out of someone's entire life--maybe even whole generations of a family's existence.

The sale of a farm, ofttimes marks the end of a hundred years or more of a family's life and livelihood--the land is sold, perhaps, hopefully, to another farmer, or, nearly as good, to a conservatory organization--but more likely, in these times, to a developer, who will rape the land for profit and leave.

This video, in a way, brings out those emotions in me--perhaps they will with you, as well.

Did I say I was feeling better--well, I WAS.

I just had dinner and now my whole left side of my face feels like I just got socked in the jaw by a Cyberman. Took a few aspirin, took my temp--back up to a nice little fever, again.

Well, at least it's my day off--tomorrow's going to be hell though, talking on the phone for 9 hours.

I thought this job would be good for me--I mean, I'm very good on phones, like working with my voice...love sitting down for a change (after much of my work life, standing and lifting all day--and often doing some really nasty dirty jobs, as well), it's nice on the old feet and back, to sit, certainly. And, really, the pay's not bad--less than what a lot of other call centre's pay, but still, not bad--it's this garnishment every week that's killing my chances of ever getting out of the poverty bracket.

Oh yeah, I love it when you're filling out a survey, and the income box starts at $25,000 a year...yeah, right. I've never made more than $16,000--and that was nearly 20 years ago! I always have to tick the "Less than $25,000 box--yeah, by less than half of that!

Poverty level for a single person, here in my part of the world, is considered, roughly, anything under $12,500. At one point, in '06, I was making about $7000 a year, so I am a bit more "upscale" than I used to be, ha-ha.

Still, my rent for a year alone, is $7,200. My electric and gas bill is a tad over $1500 a year approx., my average food expenditures for the year is very roughly around $2000 to $2500, give or take. When I had it, my internet and phone were a bit over $1000 for the year. If you do the subtracting, you'll get a glimpse of what it's like to be "working poor,"--living on the edge of "have" and "not have." Not a lot of fun, I can tell you.

Ah well, I like a challenge.

Well, I am feeling better...I must be. I'm sitting here, singing along with Even Elroy (ba-ba-ba-da, ba-ba-ba).

I've not picked on David Tennant in a while, have I? Well, now that I've unceremoniously got the boot from Tennant's website, I have no worries about offending them, ey?

Sorry David fans, I know he's probably a nice guy, but...since I've given up writing, I need a hobby--and having a light laugh at DT is a lot easier for me than weaving a pot-holder.

Besides, it's not like he, or any of his friends will ever see these, ey?

"I'm not just an actor ya'know, I'm also an anorak."

"Peter, I've been wanting to say this for years--kiss me darling!"

"Waugh! That Shakespeare does have a nice bum, ey?"

"And I'm ordering you, Donna, to turn this car around and go back! I ordered a Whopper with no pickles or tomatoes, and they gave me a double cheeseburger, instead!"

Well, I've done some soul searching, and have decided that maybe it's time I abandoned writing. I realize that I'm just holding on to it, as a sort of last tie to my past-life, and it really doesn't have any bearing on my life now--other than a bit of blogging. It's hard to give it up, but I'm tending right now, to turn inward, inside myself.

Writing was just a security blanket--the last remnant of a dying dream. I've lost nearly everything else that connects me with my family, my past life...I think it's time to sever this tie, as well, and discard it this as just so much emotional flotsam.

I need, I think, to discard everything I was, and learn to be this other person I am, now.

Mind you, I really don't like the "new" me very much, but nothing says I have to. I have to be what I am now, not what I was. What I was is gone forever. I have to give up the last dream, if I want to tear away the one barrier to my finally, completely, accepting where I'm at now.

I don't know if this is the right thing to do, or not. I have no one here to tell my aye, yes or no. I just have to do whatever I can to survive this.

It's been a quiet afternoon, here in northern NY. I really miss being able to go for a drive, on a nice sunny Sunday, but, even tho' I have nowhere to go, it's been actually rather nice...considering I was in bed much of the afternoon, that is. But, I awoke feeling better than I have in nearly a week, so even though I hate afternoon naps, I guess this one's proved to be rather productive. Though it's still extremely sore, and movement is a painful proposition, the swelling in the jaw has marginalized.

I splurged and bought some new vitamins yesterday, for $3 (1.50 pounds). I was out of them, and never tried this brand before--a generic store brand from Family Dollar. Someone told me to try prenatal vitamins for my condition, as they are absorbed more readily or something like that, but I can't get to Walmart's to get them--which will be a problem, if I can't get there, as my iron tablets will be running out soon, and that absolutely the only place I can afford to buy them.

Finished off the last of the turkey, yesterday, had shredded turkey over mashed potatoes, with tinned turkey gravy poured over it, and peas on the side. Not fancy, but..not bad, actually. I think though, if anyone offers me a turkey sandwich, I'm going to gobble at them, ha-ha.

Four days of a steady diet of turkey will do that to you. I'd never had hickory smoked turkey before--tastes a lot like smoked ham, only more...turkey-ish, I guess. I was going to cook up some of my old-time turkey carcass soup--my maternal grandmother's recipe from several decades before I was born--but saw the cost of fresh veg at the Price Chopper (local supermarket), and balked a bit at that. They had a small pork roast for a bit over 4 dollars, and the fresh veg for the soup was so high, it would have cost the same as the roast--so, what the heck, I went with the roast, instead. I've not had a pork roast in...well longer than I can honestly remember. I've some apricot preserves, so I thought I'd slather those over the meat, when it's partway done, and make myself a glazed roast--not done that in, oh, ages and ages. Last time, I think I made a glazed pork roast was Easter of 2002 or 2003, maybe.

Anyway, yesterday, someone sent me some old television series from the 70's, and one from the 80's, to download into my RealPlayer, which was pretty cool. Just a few eppy's of shows I used to enjoy: The Partridge Family, Emergency! and The Hardy Boys from the 70's, and a great show called The Equalizer (Edward Woodward) from the 80's. I've not seen any of these in years, so I've that to enjoy.

And, I've now a copy of Time Crash, the 7 minute Children-In-Need Dr. Who special, thanks. Oh, I was a smiling fool, for many hours after watching that, this weekend. Time Crash was about the only thing that made me smile, yesterday, as I had a truly awful case of the blues. Oh, I was one happy Whovian, watching it. It was just...wonderful. They're both such terrific actors, and it was a true and lasting pleasure, a real gift, getting to see the two Doctors doing their thing. Davidson looks great! I should look that good, when I get to be his age. And Steven Moffatt, who wrote Time Crash (as well as Blink, The Girl in the Fireplace and Empty Child episodes)--what a genius! His writing, and that of another Who author, Terrence Dicks, is something I would aspire to--if I had the potential, that is, to write fiction and/or scripts, that well. I don't, but wish I did.

Last year, I wasn't able to donate to CIN until well into the winter. This year, I fear that I cannot donate at all, unless a true miracle happens and I finally land a good job, or find some other way to boost my poverty-level income. So far, as yet, that hasn't happened (not for lack of trying), and I've just not the money to spare, which would enable me to give to CIN and other causes. Sadly, I just can't give to any cause, at the moment, outside of a few cents thrown into a charity tin at the store till, or the Sally Army's little kettle...and I don't think I'm mentally up to another 100 story fund-raiser, like I did for Accord, or, this year, physically up to ringing the bell for Sally Army, outside a department store, like I've done other years, unfortunately.

Well, the sun's going down here. To try and cheer myself, I pulled out my Christmas decorations--and immediately got depressed again, ha-ha. Oh, big wow...a little 3-inch made (badly) in China Christmas tree, a white and gold ceramic reindeer--both from the All-For-One-Dollar store, and a little light-up Christmas tree window decoration. Whoo-hoo. I am still smarting over losing the boxes containing my family's tree and decorations, two years ago. 40 years of Christmas memories, gone forever. Mum and I had this little tradition, you see--every year, we'd buy each other, one or two special totally unique ornaments for the tree...we might not have much, some of the leaner years, in way of prezzies--but by gosh, we always gave each other one or two of the nicest, most lovely or unique ornaments we could find..whether that be a cat, or a horse, Paddington Bear, a snowman on skis or Santa on a Harley. And now, they're gone, and it saddens me to the quick, knowing that.

You see, We might not have hardly any gifts to give, but that tree made up for it--whether artificial or real--every year. Every three to five years, as we could afford it, we'd change the colour theme: one year all blue or all green lights, or green and red lights, or a blue and sliver theme, or maybe a red and gold theme, stuff like that. We had other decorations: a fancy antique ceramic manger scene with a real wood stable, knick-knacks and wall hangings, a wreath for the front door, outside lights...but the centrepiece, was always, always, the tree. I might bitch and moan, putting the sucker up every year--mum drove me bananas, with her, "Don't you think that (ornament) would look better over there?" And, the old, dreaded, "The tree is lop-sided," often uttered a few minutes after I'd just firmly bolted the thing into place, and got myself up from the floor. Or, the ol' "There's not enough lights on that side of the tree."--That was easily fixed though, because at that point, my patience was wearing thin, so my usual solution was, when she wasn't looking, to just turn the tree around so the "bald spot" was facing the wall.

I have no idea why my internet's back on--Time-warner was closed for the holiday until Monday, and I'm working 10 to 9 Mon-Wed, so I don't know when I'll be able to sit on hold for them for hours--erm, I mean, contact them.

I've lost yet another friend. I hate my life. I feel like I must really suck. I've got a very bad case of depression, I think, maybe, as I feel quite low--or, it could be just this illness. But, meh--who cares?

Someone's upset with me for saying David Tennant sucks--even though I posted a retraction of sorts, later. Oh well. I guess I should have said that DavidTennant.com sucks. Well, DT may suck, I don't know him personally, but no, I don't honestly think that. People say stuff when they're upset and/or stressed...but, too late now, another friend bites the dust. Well, I never blame people for hating me--I don't especially like myself, these days, either.

I see that my return to the blog has caused people to flee--my stats just went in the basement, ha-ha. What's that say about me, ey?

I'm kidding around, but truthfully, I have a bad case of the blues and lonely's tonight, so I don't think I want to write anything, because, well...who wants to hear that?

Here's a video instead, a blast from my past--my very, very early teens, to be more precise:

It'd be a definite B road.

My life, of late, sort of reminds me of how the mountain roads get, 'round these parts, come late winter.

You see, it can get bitterly cold here, in northeastern NY--not just your normal, run-of-the-mill cold, but cold as in the kind that can easily kill you, if you're unprepared for it--and sometimes, even if you are. It's been known to get to 40 below zero, farenheight, here, some winters--though the average frigid temps generally hover from zero to 25 below, F. That's, I think minus 17 C, to approx. minus 31 C.

And boy, by the end of the winter, those days of bitter cold, start to merge with slightly warmer temps as we head into spring--and viola! Ordinary pavement starts to resemble a roller-coaster track.

There's bumps--lots and lots of bumps, humps and dips...love the dips. I remember once, I was going down the Corinth Mountain road, known to locals as "Call Street." This is a twisty, winding country road, Following alongside the Hudson River, through the southern Adirondack mountains. Well, there's this one spot on the road, where, every year, during "frost heave" season, a swath of the road, about the length and width of a Skoda SUV, dips--or rather, more or less drops. Well, I found that out the hard way, one day.

This road is a main route from the small town where I was living at the time, to the city of Glens Falls--hence I traveled it quite frequently, back about 7 years ago, and being an old hand at these sorts of roads, and..okay, a bit of a lead foot, I was blithely whizzing along the road--when I hit "The Dip."

Ouch.

My car I had back then--an 87 Ford Ranger pick up truck, bless it-- went airborne slightly--and, consequentially, so did I.

I literally was bounced out of the seat, and hit the top of my head on the roof...okay, in case you're wondering, yes, it hurt. Quite a lot, actually.

I Kept going though, didn't even slow down--well, okay, I did a little, keeping a weather eye out for any more heaves and dips.

And that's been my life, these past two years--getting rapped on the head a lot--mostly metaphorically speaking--except for one brief episode a year ago, involving a cat, a hard wooden bed post and a bit of post-concussion syndrome.

But my life is sometimes, it seems, just filled with bumps and humps and dips...and often, just when I think I've found a level stretch of road--one of those huge roof-banging dips comes along. Which is sort of what I'm dealing with now.

And when it hits, you yell, maybe say a few choice words, or cry...you get a little gun-shy about the road ahead, and fuss and worry about what lies ahead, what's going to happen next--but, you keep on driving, you keep on moving along---because if you stop....your journey is over, and you'll never have a chance to see what's next around the bend.--whether that be a series of bumps, a yawning hole or a level stretch of road with a lovely view.

This is what you'd get:

This made me laugh--and I need a laugh today--just got bad news from my social worker, I'm still sick--and have to go back to work--the sceduling for today was a bit messed up, by the way...and..oh never mind. Just hope this gives you the laugh it gave me.

I'm on a very quick lunch break at home--have an appt. with a social worker in about 20 minutes, so I'm wolfing down a sandwich (turkey, what else?) and trying to type inbetween bites, so forgive the typos, as, despite the fact I've been typing since age 12, I really stink at it.

Anyway, I have this new Dr Who fan fiction blog, with the totally unoriginal name of "Nancy's Doctor Who Fiction Page." Anyway, I posted a good many of my fiction stories and drabbles on there. What is really, seriously surprising me, is the number one story so far.

Now, on the Teaspoon/Open Mind website, my most popular stories are Tennant's Doctor. On my new blog, It isn't Tennant, it isn't Eccleston--it's my one and only, very short Tom Baker story--where Baker's Doctor comes in, only in the LAST paragraph! The main character isn't even a Doctor Who character, but someone I totally made up (based loosely on the "Editor" character in the 9th Doctor/1st series), and who is really what the story is about--the story doesn't even have a proper ending...I just left it sort of hanging there, to let the readers use their imagination--sort of just a bit of whimsey, on my part. Yet, even though Baker's Doctor doesn't appear until the very end of the story--it's still my number one story! It's gotten triple the reads of the other stories--some stories haven't even been read at all, actually.

Isn't that odd? Life is funny, that way, I suppose. Something you didn't put much thought into, or didn't take that seriously, and think people will hate, or simply pass over, they like, and something you think is really, genuinely good, that you really worked hard to perfect--you get a bland review or a non-reaction. Funny old life, yessiree-bob.

A co-worker was all excited, because she went to an auction for the first time, this week, and really enjoyed herself.

I love auction--I have to stay away from them, because it got to be a bit like a gambling addiction to me--can't keep my hand down, love those bargains, ha-ha!

I've been doing auctions since I was a child: church/charity auctions, horse auctions, antique and general merchandise auctions, farm auctions, state and police auctions, household/estate...all of them. Well, in the late 80's, early 90's, when mum and I had our flea market business, I'd work my "day job" and spend my nights, three to five nights a week, traveling to auctions, buying and selling...and loving every minute of it--especially when I'd made an especially good buy, or a nice profit on a sale, of course.

I'd LOVE to be an auctioneer--I could do it, to. I know the patter, the "chant," that wonderful flurry of bidding--the bad jokes with the crowd. It's great...a good auctioneer must also be part preacher/showman, part comic, part salesman..and sort of, a singer. You see, in a way, the auctioneer was the first rap singer, ha-ha. Just listen to a good 'un sometime, you'll see what I mean.

So, it's Black Friday over here---the unoffical national holiday. A lot of people take an extra day off, the day after--either to recover from the feasting/family, or to travel, or to shop.

It's the day after Thanksgiving, when many department stores throw open their doors at 6am, and tons of holiday shoppers grab at the big sales items on display--it's the biggest shopping day of the year, over here, with most stores having extra discounted sales, and "secret" specials and other incentives to get shoppers to buy. Don't ask me, what insane person gets up at stupid O'Clock on a Friday morning, to go Christmas shopping at six am--only in America! It's ain't me, brother!

So, I have to try to ring up Time-Warner and sort out why in heaven's name my internet has been turned back on. If I had not accidentally plugged the box back in, I never would have known! Now I'm worried sick--literally, that I will have a 200 dollar T-W bill to pay, instead of just the 91 dollar bill, from October. I was wide away until well past 2am, worried to death about it. The very last thing I need is another bill.

Oddly, I have no dial tone on my phone though. Very strange, as the phone/internet are an all-in-one package. Well, if they are there today, I'll soon have it sorted, I hope.

Long work day for me, to make up my sick day and the holiday--still about 5 hours shy of a full pay check though. I'm working 10 to 4, with an hour for lunch, then 5 to 10. Then, I get the pleasure of doing it all over again, on Saturday! And oh, how rotten people are to us phone reps, during the holidays--I mean, they can be completely miserable---slamming phones, screaming, deliberately hurting our ears--people in wheelchairs and elderly people too, mind-- with fax tones and the like...stinking ingnorant gits. I hate my job with a passion--I mean, I detested cleaning loos and emptying nasty bin bags--but I hate telemarketing even more, and I hate my employer with a passion. My chav Indian money-grubbing employer has caused me so much hardship--a year of employment with them, and I am worse off financially, then when I was unemployed! No joke! I enjoy working with my voice, and I'm pretty good on phones, but this job--some days it's just..torture, people are just that miserable--and my bosses put so much pressure on you to perform and get sales--especially credit card sales...they keep telling us that if we don't perform well, we'll all lose our jobs...parahrasing, but that's the gist of it. I really hate selling. I like helping people, but sometimes I have to sell to people I know cannot afford it, or people whom are elderly and not all there--and it makes me feel horrible, but I have to keep my job, so I have to do it, but..it's not a good feeling.

I had a good laugh, yesterday--someone suggested that I write a film script based on my blogs--yeah, right. Who would want to watch something like that? I pictured what it would be like, in my mind for a moment--and just burst out laughing..biggest laugh I've had in a long while.

well, have to be off to work. Bleh. Still have a fever, and a bit low, but I will muddle through somehow, always do--well, mostly, anyways.

Well, my fever's finally nearly gone, thankfully. I even managed to not only eat most of my dinner, but have a couple of bites of pie, after. A far cry from younger days, when I'd clean the plate twice and have two slices of pie after, before I'd be full. People keep asking me if I'm on a diet--no, just not hungry as much as I used to be--ironically, often I'm hungriest when there's little food to eat. My appetite these days is a tad quirky, in a mildly ironic kind of way.

I was playing about a bit with my bad play I'm writing, and played cards on the computer, and read a bit (Dr Who), and wrote a few paragraphs for a new Dr Who story. Fixed my computer--sort of. Someone gave me some instructions. I lost my access to my control panel--it was GONE. So, they helped me by-pass that to get to the "help" section, so I could do a system restore, and gave me a disk of a free trojan remover--not a very good one, but free, so what the heck did I have to lose. Seems to have done the trick, all systems normal again, no blinking pop-ups ever few seconds. Time will tell, I suppose, if it worked or not.

I didn't really mean, in that other post, that David Tennant sucks--that was a bit childish, I suppose. I actually do rather like the man--well, as much as you can like someone you know pretty much absolutely nothing about. I was just deeply wounded, and a bit ashamed, as well, about being banned. That's two times this week I've had cause to be mortified. I didn't think I'd behaved badly on there--but perhaps I had, as I was extremely upset at the computer virus and being sick, and depressed--you see, I'm in a bit of a grieving spell, missing mum. She died about two weeks before Thanksgiving, so this isn't really a happy time of year for me, any longer-- and on top of that, we got our checks early because the payroll person has Friday off--and having a short pay check--it made me a bit queasy at the thought...I'll an even smaller one, next week, as well, because of being sick on Tuesday, and the holiday today. Well, taken altogether, I just had such a horrible day, yesterday, I was just in the old emotional cellar hole.

And this is WEIRD. My internet is BACK ON tonight! Why????

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled, but..the cost now--will I be billed for it, even though I cancelled the service?

I was supposed to turn in the cable box, but just hadn't had a chance to get round to it--it's a bit of a long walk to that part of the city where the local Time-Warner office is. So, tonight, I went to plug in a lamp--but accidentally, because of my slight night-blindness in dim places, plugged the cable box back in, and all the lights came on! So, I hustled over to the computer, and---What the heck??? I have internet service! I told them to turn me off--and I WAS turned off, two Mondays ago! Wow. I don't know what to make of it--but looks like now, instead of owning one month--now I'll own two! Stupid Time-Warner. I'll have to ring them up from work tomorrow and have it out with them. I can't afford to be 2 months in arrears! That's around 200 dollars! Man, life just sucks sometimes, don't it? One more thing to lose sleep over. Wonderful.

Wrote this earlier today, in case I got online here, later:

It's Thanksgiving day. Thanks to a friend, I won't be turkey-less, and even have all trimmings to go with it, more or less. Wish I had some cheese and crackers though, ha-ha. Miss those mid-afternoon TG appetizers we used to have, that was almost as good as the feast.

We used to always have our TG feast around 5 in the afternoon--or thereabouts. Today's the typical day, weather-wise: overcast and wet. Sometimes it snows, sometimes it rains--it's actually rare when it's sunny on Thanksgiving. Funny about that, I think. I can remember few Thanksgivings when it didn't rain or snow. A couple of years, when I was wee, we even had snowstorms, and one year, back in the 60's I think, we even had a full-blown blizzard!

Inside my mind, I can still picture our Thanksgiving day, at home: smell the turkey roasting in the old gas oven, the lineolium floor squeeking under my mum's feet. The sound of the annual big Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, down in Manhattan, playing on the television in the living room--mum would pop in and out to watch it with me, sitting down later, towards the end, to watch. The sound of dad, snoring away in the bedroom down the hall. He usually slept late on Thanksgiving day, not getting up until sometime past noon--or, he might wake and go down to our local volunteer firehouse and hang out at the bar down there, with some of the other firemen, playing cards for a few hours. Dad wasn't big on holidays--until it came time to eat, that is.

Then he'd be first at the table, getting his hand slapped (verbally speaking) for standing there, picking at the freshly roasted turkey, before we were seated and grace had been said.

Mum always put on a nice spread. We had things we'd not normally have, in the course of the year: freshly baked dinner rolls, shrimp cocktail, fruit cocktail, orange juice, pickles and olives, and other little appetizers. At dinner, the was cold milk to drink, and the veg would be special too--besides the usual fresh mashed potatoes, cranberry jelly and peas, there'd be broccolli in cheese sauce and creamed pearl onions, and, some years, fresh corn on the cob, when it was available. And the bread stuffing in the turkey, still can taste that. Lost mum's recipe, years ago...it was gran's recipe, and was always filled with sage and spices. Later, I'd make my own version, with sage and onion, which was good, but..not the same, I'm afraid.

After dinner, there was the traditional dessert of pumpkin pie and/or dutch apple pie, with either vanilla ice cream or whipped cream. A couple of years, that was changed to hot fudge sundaes, but mostly it was pie, with coffee for the adults and milk for my sister (when she was there) and I.

So, this year, I'm having turkey, cranberry jelly, broccoli with cheese sauce, instant butter & herb flavor mashed potatoes, whole wheat bread stuffing, and pumpkin pie for dessert. Not bad. And the one nice thing, I must say, about dinner alone is--I don't have to wait 'till five O'clock, ha-ha!

Once again, I'm borrowing my neighbour's internet connection--he gets his computer back on Friday, so I'll not be using this online again, probably...I don't know.

Well, it's been a totally crappy day here, in Glens Falls, NY.

This morning, I lugged my tower over, like I did tonight, to my neighbour's apartment--I've been pet-minding for him, in exchange for using his connection.

Unfortunately, I've been nailed by a trojan programme--in this case, some malware alarm stuff, that's totally thrown my computer out of whack...I can't uninstall the programme, I can't download anything to get rid of it--now, I can't even access my control panel--it won't let me. I've lost my desktop, mostly, and am dealing with all sorts of pop-ups literally ever few seconds. My DVD player isn't working right, either, and I can't run MS Word, even, because the flipping malware popup WON'T go away. And my cursor keeps stalling.

Basicallly, I've now got a 700 dollar piece of technological crap sitting on my dresser.

Oh yeah, I cried, I bawled my eyes out.

I've still got a high fever and can't swallow good, my apetite's off--had to force myself to eat today, and I generally feel like rubbish. Though the chest pains have stopped, thankfully.

I got my paycheck--twenty dollars less than last week--that didn't help my appetite or my mood much.

And...I got kicked off the David Tennant.com forum, for daring to object to them locking my thread, for simply saying that--and I'm not exageratting or making this up--this is exactly what I said, that I'd "read somewhere where he was single." I got raked over the coals--I kid you not--because I was talking about "his personal life" and that's not allowed. Three times today, they locked threads of mine--for no reason. Innocent threads! I didn't swear, or discuss Tennant's sex life--I don't even know if he HAS a sex life, he could be celebate, for all I know, he could be secretly married and have ten kids, he could be dating John Barrowman--I don't know or care! If he's happy and healthy, good for him. What do I care if he's single or not, I'm never going to meet the man. The forum thread wasn't even about Tennant--except in a very offhand way.

But now I'm banned. I've never been banned from anything ever in my life. I had a good friend on there, from over in Scotland, and I'll never hear from her again. One more friend lost. I want to crawl into a hole and just never come out again, I feel that rubbish now. I've never been banned before. I hate myself. I hate life.

I wish I'd never heard of David stinking Tennant. I want my friend back.
I really am not suicidal, but by God, I cannot wait to die, it will be such a relief from this pain inside me all the time.

I don't know if I'll be back. I can't access this site from work, as blogging and e-mails are strictly verbotten.

This isn't a very cheery post. Sorry. It's been a real sucky day. I can't even watch Dr Who now, anymore, or listen to CD's, and now I've lost a friend, too--no way to contact her except through the site. I'm tired. I'm going to bed and stay there, and not come out until Friday morning.

"Alright, fan-girls! Who wants to be the first to smell David Tennant's sweaty arm-pits for charity? Just a pound a sniff!"

Okay, so, someone PM'd me this week--a DT fan-girl who writes me sometimes, all a-gush, because, apparently, the great and illustrious David Tennant--or, as I call him, "that Scottish actor guy," was just voted the sexiest man in Scotland.

Seriously?

Erm--riiight. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love David Tennant--for his ACTING.

Well, if a tall, pale, skinny guy, with a big bottom and a slight beer paunch (please don't ask how I know that) is considered sexy in Scotland, maybe I should move there.

I mean, I'm hefty, round-shouldered, ugly as sin and walk with a limp--maybe there's hope fur me yet.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, I can't help myself. I couldn't blog without picking on dear old David T. He's a cool guy, really. It's just that he makes it sooo--easy.

I was reading, on my break at work, the other night, on some online forum or other, how some David Tennant fan-girl swears Mr. Tennant actually said something to the effect that, he doesn't look at a woman so much for her looks, as her "soul, sparkling in the moonlight."

Come again? Okay, very poetic, charming even...but GET REAL. He's a hetero-sexual Scottish actor guy, OF COURSE, he's going to look!

I mean, I'm sure he didn't gaze at one of the half-naked Pussycat Dolls, or this Kylie lady's boobs, and think to himself, "Gee, I bet her soul would look nice in the moonlight." Yeah matey, pull the other one!

Let's face it: some tall, ribby actor, is no more more going to date an ugly woman, than some buff actor is. I mean, I've no idea what his past girlfriends looked like, but I'll take bets than not a one of them was overweight or plain looking--let alone ugly.

So, reality-check fan girls. This "I prefer personality" stuff--it's a beautiful sentiment--but that's all it is. It's a fairy tale, there's no such men like that, in the entire planet--trust me. No one's ever asked me for a date, because they digged my personality. To a man, they were only interested in one thing--in Mr. Tennant's case, I read where it's ten-inches long, ha-ha.

I'm borrowing my neighbour's internet connection, while I'm pet-sitting his bassett hound. He's at his sister's having an early holiday dinner.

Well, things are pretty much the same here. I will have a short pay cheque next week, because I had to take tonight off from work--no choice. I'm rather ill with the old jaw abscess again..that wonderful golf-ball sized lump in my jaw, high fever, low appetite, and generally it hurts to talk or swallow-- and I have a headache for good measure, as well--and since I talk for a living...well, I don't think I could tonight. On top of that, my heart failure's playing up a bit, as well. I had a very brief bit chest pain, in the cab this afternoon. I just wasn't up to walking through the snow and rain to work tonight. It's only about a ten-minute walk, but even that seemed a bit daunting to me, tonight.

I'll be fine though, most likely, well...good enough, by tomorrow..well, I'd better be, ey?

Basically feeling like rubbish, I had gone down for a nap at five, and woke at about half-past eight pm. Then my neighbour knocked and asked if I'd watch his dog while he went and had a late dinner at his sister's house--late is right--it's 10 and he's still not back yet, so he must be having a good time, I reckon.

To make up some hours--as I don't get paid for the holiday off on Thursday, either, I shall have to work 10 to 10 straight through, Friday. Bummer. But it will still be a very low pay cheque, doubly so, with the 43 dollar weekly garnishment.

I'm sorry, but sometimes I really don't mind being ill, if it means I won't have to deal with being elderly and poor later on. My country isn't great about how it treats it's poor, and the elderly are especially treated like rubbish, when they've no savings or pension or anything.

When I was delivering Meals on Wheels to seniors--a weekday home-delivered hot lunch programme for the elderly, back in the late 90's, I'm quite sure that at least a couple of the people I delivered to, it was the only decent meal they'd be having that day, which I find, in the "richest nation in the world," utterly disgraceful.

So you'll pardon me, if I don't want to face that fate myself.It's tough enough when you're middle-aged, I can't imagine it, when you're elderly.

So...

seems I've lost a few friends, in this latest crisis of mine. Sorry to find that out, but that's how it goes, I guess. No hard feelings. Some people just don't want to, or cannot, deal with someone else's reality. And, that's okay.

I have to pay the electric bill this week--so I can't pay the rent until next week...I hope. I've mis-placed the cable bill--the one I cannot pay, but will have to, sooner or later, if I ever want service back. I almost always put my bills in the kitchen drawer, but it's not there--my mind does tend to get a bit muddled, these day, sadly.

I cost me nearly 30 dollars to do the laundry this week--between the cost of using the machines--which has just gone up, and the cab fare..which also has gone up, slightly. I had no choice, as I can no longer do my washing in the apartment, as there's really no place but the balcony railings to dry it--and it's snowing and sleeting and raining, here. I had only 2 clean dressy outfits left, and absolutely no clean jeans or casual wear. Hated spending my vastly reduced resources, but what else could I do?

Anyway, not had dinner yet, and probably won't. I did have a couple of wonderful biscuits, though. Someone had given me a few Italian cookies (biscuits)--"jelly logs." I don't really have that much of a sweet tooth, as a general rule, but these--oh my. Yes, they were wonderful. Basically, they're a soft shortbread "log" with strawberry jam slathered in the middle, and partly covered with chocolate on top. Oh yes, and I'm not sharing, ha-ha. They're all MINE!

My goodness, between the turkey and the shortbread, people will have me spoiled, this week.

In my free times--when I was feeling okay, I've been working to clean the apartment and in-between, reading, watching Dr Who and a couple of old movies I have on DVD, and writing a bit...got this really horrid play I've been writing, about a farmer in turn-of-the century Vermont and his family--it's total rubbish, but, it's something to do, isn't it?

Someone patted me on the back today, for my Accord Hospice stories. I'm just glad they're done..I don't think I'd be physically up to doing them, yet another month. I'm happy to have been able to help them, even though it wasn't much, really.

So, I won't be doing the temp job Friday, after all, as work says I can work both shifts--10am to 10pm. Ah. Something to look forward to then, the day after Thanksgiving. People aren't very nice to us telemarketers, at holiday time--good will to men doesn't extend to us, I guess. We're telemarketer's, we're not human beings--in fact, some homeless wino on the street, gets treated better than we do, this time of year--and, rightly so, perhaps, I dunno'.

Well, I just had the police and my landlady, literally bust down one of my doors, over fears I'd harmed myself of died of a heart attack or something--well, that's nice. I'd always assumed I'd lay here for days without anyone noticing...but, my apartment looks like a pigsty! Ugh!!! Why can't I just have a day of peace and quiet? I mean, I'm touched someone cares, but not thrilled with being woken up out of a sound sleep, by some big burly cop breaking in my door. Damn.

I'm fine, okay? I'm depressed, and not physically well, but, I'm NOT suicidal, and I still have one or two years left to live, at least, I'm not dying yet, so please, no more cops at the door, ey?

I just checked my stats before leaving--do you know, that Friday, my visitor number broke my all-time record, with just under 1300 visits that day?

My record was about 1250, set back during this past summer, I think.
I stop writing in my blog--haven't written a thing all week--and I break my record for visitors?

Wow. Now I'm starting to feel like one of those artists, who are only moderately followed in life, but the minute they die, or stop paining--suddenly they're famous!

Well...I'll never-ever be famous..infamous, maybe, but..that is a bit strange, isn't it? What on earth are they reading, and why? Bit of a mystery, that. Where's columbo, when you need him?

Hi, I'm on a borrowed computer, not much time, here.

Just want to say hi, and thanks for your care and concern. I am a bit under the weather, heath-wise, but am holding my own. I THINK I may be still here in the apartment for another month, afterall, but December will prove the tipping point, financially, as to whether I make a go of it, or not.

I'm only checking my e-mails once a week or less...sometimes it may be days, or it may be several weeks, but I'm trying to check it when I can.

As always, members of DT.com and DWO (you know who you are) can find me as "dustyboots" and leave me a PM through those sites, as I can, sometimes, access them from work. I also have a blog on the SunOnline as well, though I'm only on there sporatically, and there's not much to read, really.

I did manage to get my new WordPress Doctor Who fan fic site up and running, last week, and even got some positive feedback from it, already, it seems, as I just checked the site, which is great to hear. I don't get a lot of feedback on my stories, which tends to make me assume they're rubbish, which I suppose, mostly, they are.

Anyway, I'm not sure, if or when I'll be back up on the internet. I've not communicated with Time-Warner lately...only just got my November bill yesterday, which I'm afraid to look at--tho, with the service shut down, it shouldn't be too bad--but I've still not paid October, which is 91 dollars, so heaven only knows...

I MAY be eligable for some assistance--possibly heating assistance, and someone may be able to help me deal with Social Security. Lots of things still up in the air yet..but..I'm scared, and very vunerable, emotionally, right now...but..I'm trying, okay? It's not much I can do...but I'm trying. Some days, my illness gets the best of me, and the old tired blood makes things, at best, very difficult. Some days, I'm a bit better, and am able to pick myself up and look forward, a little.

I may have a temp job on Friday--only one day, but better than nothing...I'm hoping it won't be canceled. That happens a lot, with this particular temp service, but, on the other hand, they are within walking distance, and you get paid the same day--in cash, if you ask for it. Not many places do that, anymore. But it is a bit of a bother, when a job is cancelled, because they won't tell you, until the last minute--you go there, at half-past five in the morning, they give you your assignment, and bobs-yer-uncle, you're working...it might be sweeping floors all day, or it might be answering phones, but it's better than nothing..but, sometimes, you get there at the crack of dawn, and sit for hours, waiting, only to be told the job's filled, or canceled, and they have no other work available. Bummer, that--especially in winter.

Nothing like getting up in the dark, on a bitter cold morning, sitting around a shabby, dirty, smelly office (set up in a former bar) for hours, drinking lousy coffee out of a styrofoam cup, only to be told to go home!

Anyway, this week, I had several nice things happen--one, a friend sent me a Thanksgiving turkey, so for the first time, since 2004, I'll have a proper holiday dinner at home, which, tho' I'll still be alone, it will help to bring some sanity and normalcy back to my life--if only for a day.

Another friend, sent along a note to David Tennant, and I got an autographed post card--true, I'm not physically attracted to the man, but he is such a cool actor--and, seems to be a pretty neat guy, I guess, that I really am pleased to get that. I've not had an autographed anything, in something like 30 years, I reckon.

I had one more bit of good news, and the possible help from a disability agency--hopefully no SS (Snarky Sacrastic) social workers there, I pray. I hate being treated like rubbish. I'm big on courtesy and respect, mum pounded it into me--but, I suppose I'm living in the wrong time period for that, though.

Well, I have to get off this computer, now, I'm told. Hope you all are well. And, to my American friends, may you have a safe, happy, and blessed Thanksgiving holiday. Cheers.

Lyrics from Carole King's "Too Much Rain" from Music, released in '71 I think.

If anyone asks you how I am
Just say I'm doing fine
If you will do that for me
I'll do the same for you sometime

And if anyone asks you where I've gone
Just say I'm down the line
I don't want my friends to see me like this
Maybe some other time

Too much rain fallin'
Too much rain fallin'
There's just been too much rain fallin' down on me

One day I'm gonna understand
The way that my heart works
And then I'm gonna work it out
So that I won't get hurt

But if anyone asks you where I've gone
Oh, don't say where I am
Just say you saw me and I'm doin' fine
'Cause I'm doin' the best I can

Too much rain fallin'
Too much rain fallin'
There's just been too much rain fallin' down on me

I meant to say, to each of you, thank you. Too often, I've found, that the lower you sink in life, the more of your friends and relations tend to distance themselves from you--or, they start feeling superior from you, and treat you accordingly.

I'm very happy to say that that hasn't happened--much--on here. You all are a ray of sunshine in my sometimes very bleak day. Thank you all so very, very much for your friendship...it is reciprocated, I assure you. PW27 (Nancy)
_____________________________________________________________________________________

A reminder to members of the Doctor Who Online and DavidTennant.com forums: you can still contact me through the forums on these websites, by PM'ing me. My "handle" on both sites is "dustyboots." I can always access DWO at my work computer, and sometimes (but not always) the DT.com site, as well.

Something happened today...something not good. I am undone for 43 dollars and change. I won't explain that. I don't feel like it.

But...I won't be coming back, now. I am going to go live on the streets, travel around, see the world..or wherever I wind up.

I've had the last nail put on my coffin today. There's nothing I can do. I'm not well enough to take a second job right now. There's nothing more I can do.

Please, please. No words. I mean that. Just, don't say anything. I KNOW you care, and that has been such a precious thing to me. But, tonight, I have to face the reality that I will have to put the last of my cats down. I will have to get rid of my possessions--including my computer, my books, everything. I'm just too physically and emotionally worn out to go on uselessly trying to support myself. Clearly, I can't. And I don't think it's worth bothering with, anymore. I just don't care.

I'm not going to harm myself, so no worries about that--but, I am giving up. I must. I've finally it the last brick wall. The last nail, driving into the coffin of my life.

This will be my last post. No more poems, or totally stupid David Tennant captions, or whinges like this. Quite literally, the heart went out of me tonight. It's gone forever. I just don't care. I really don't. Let it happen, I say--it's been trying to, for a very long time now.

I wanted a "normal" life: being able to support myself, have a steady pay cheque, a routine of some sort, friends nearby that I could be with, sometimes, a chance to go somewhere once a month maybe, or watch a TV programme, rent a movie, visit a museum or see a show..have regular meals, to think nothing about buying shampoo or washing up liquid. I'll never have that, not ever.

I abandoned my dreams, useless damn things. I just wanted to SURVIVE. But, it seems, I'm not even capable of that. So...I give up.

There will be no Thanksgiving for me, this year, no Christmas, no Happy New Year. Not ever. Never again. I have decided to fall through the cracks. It was inevitable, I can see that now, quite clearly, like the nose on my face.

Again, please don't respond to this--I know you'll want to, but..there's nothing to be said. I've shed my tears, and I've made my decision.

I hate America. There's no protection for people like me...any help you get, you literally have to beg for..and then get treated like scum for asking. I hate what Americans have become, these last two decades: greedy, fanatical, paranoid, rude beyond belief, deliberately stupid, extremely biggoted and mean--very, very, mean. Of course, I'm sure there's some people out there, who will never see this side of my country. Good for them. I wish I wasn't American, no really, I'd change my citizenship in a heartbeat, if I could--but, I suppose I'd be a loser in another country, anyway.

Aw crap, now I'm rambling like a loon..sorry, didn't intend to do that--meant to keep this short, sweet, and to the point, as we Yanks say.

Anyway, thanks for being my friend. You are all so special and precious to me. Even tho' I've never had the great pleasure of meeting any of you, a great pleasure--and and honor--it has been. I mean that, bless.

Take care my friends. Hugs all around. xx Pw27 (N.)

Well...I just totally wasted an entire morning, thanks to the website, "Blogrox."

I wanted to set up a new Dr Who fan fiction page, as my present page, Dusty's Dr Who fan-fic" has the stories added backwards--last chapters first, which is probably discouraging to most readers. So, I found a site I sort of liked, that uses WordPress, called "Blogrox."

Okay, posted my first story, it published okay. So, I went to do a second, shorter story I'd written last year, and...it's GONE. I hit "publish" all 7 times, and...heaven only knows! It's out there in cyberspace somewhere, or deleted...I have no idea. And, the site will say that I've "saved" a draft--when I actually really did hit "publish" and not "save"...this site is so buggy, they should put a can of Raid! on the homepage.

And, the only place to get help is some cheezy "support" forum--that won't let me log into it!
Dang! This is a horrible site. I have so little time left on the internet, now that the plug is being pulled, that it really frosts my britches to totally waste- my time on a bad website like that.

So...stay the hell away from blogrox, if you want to set up a new blog on another site, try Blogger or WordPress, or someone else more reliable.

I just saw a little of the David Tennant in the Who Do You Think You Are? episode, on researching his family--great show! I wish we had something like that here.

Even more, I wish I was rich enough to hire someone to help me sort out my late-mum's genealogy papers! Wow! What a mess!

My late-mum started researching her family in the late 70's--and continued for over 25 years. She never used a computer, and EVERYTHING is hand-written notes! Everything. Mountains and mountains of papers, going back for all that time. About a quarter of her research has been lost, through a couple of moves, but still, I've two or three boxes of papers, index cards, charts, books, etc. About a 24 to 30 inch tall stack of papers, when it's all said and done.

I was a local history buff and amateur researcher, in my early to mid-20's, and I did often ferry my mum around to cemeteries, libraries and town halls and churches--all over NY state, for years...but...I'm LOST. I've no clue where even to begin, to try and sort out this mess! It's really terribly daunting.

I wish I could be in a WDYTYA show, like David was...but, that's never going to happen, LOL

My great-great-great grandfather:

You know, one thing I won't miss, with the loss of my internet, is the spam and scams in my e-mail's in-box.

And, lately, spammers/scammers are getting soooo-incredibly lazy! I mean, more and more frequently, half my spam is in non-sensical gobblety-gook. For pity's sake, why even bother to spam me, with stuff that's completely impossible to read? I suppose it's that these empty-headed morons are getting paid by the e-mail, perhaps?

I know there's so many idiots out there, to the point where it's becoming quite alarming--I mean, I really do have serious doubts about the evolutionary progress of the human race...and, on top of that, now the con-artists are doing it as well!

I got an e-mail in (I think) Italian, saying "congratzioni!"....or something like that. Yeah, well, don't speak Italian, thanks.

I can't hardly believe my own eyes!

Someone had e-mailed me a link to some David Tennant Totally Dr Who videos, and since I'm still up (coughing), I thought, what the heck, might as well watch them, right?

Well, I'd no sooner had the first video up and running, when Boots sat up in my lap, ears perked, and stared at the computer screen intently. Well, I thought, he just liked the movement and voices--Boot's LOVES televison--he'll even sit for half an hour, watching his own reflection in in my 20 some-odd year old televion's screen (I don't use it much any more, but don't want to give it up)--anyway, I put something else on--and, Boots lost complete interest...then, a short while later, I put the other David Tennant interview on--Boots sat up and began intently watching Tennant again...OMG! David Tennant's got a new fan-boi...well, the actor is safe, anyway--Boots is neutered.

Recent TV news report:

Noose upsets HVCC student

TROY - A student at Hudson Valley Community College says she found what she considers a hate symbol hanging in her classroom.

In response to that, the state Senate passed a bill to last month to make it a felony to display a noose on public or private property.

(Hudson Valley Community College is across the Hudson River, from my hometown. It's located outside the city of Troy, NY.)

I had a crappy night at work...for instance, some 6 year old actually answering the phone, DEMANDING, "Who is this!," and, some stinking teenager, said his dad was sleeping, then, in the same breath said, "You suck!" and slammed down the phone in my ear...causing me to accidentally mutter aloud a bad word (really, it was just a gut-reaction and not intentional), which I hopefully won't be fired for Oh yeah, with kids like that, America's bright future, there, ey?

I'm holding my breath that I won't be evicted for paying the rent late again this month--I wish I could find a new job, but my health is so iffy right now, that I have LOADS of reservations about starting a new job in this condition.

Well, I'm totally exhausted, so off to bed I go. Well, at least we only have colds and viruses that go 'round our office. On the other side of town is a "sick" building--an office building with bad air that's been evacuated several times...last time it sent dozens of office workers to hospital, and one female employee came down with chemical pnuemonia, later. Now, in a different business located in the same building, a worker has been diagnosed with the mysterious and potentially fatal Legionaire's Disease. Following the pay cut and lay off, several of our workers left my office to go work at the insurance company located in this building.

To show how hard it is to get a good-paying job with decent benefits in this part of the region, no one in the sick building wants to leave their job--and others keep applying there, KNOWING it's a "sick building"--they just shrug it off and keep working there--becuase they know they can't get a much better job anywhere else around here.

And, of course, the company's that rent the building, have made no plans to move, or to protect their employees--now one may die, and they won't care at all...and this God-forsaken nation, this nation of morons, back in the late 1970's, gave corporations constitutional rights--rights that were intended by our founding fathers who drafted the original document, to be SOLELY for individuals!

So, even today, politicians brown-nose corporations, and towns and county's brown-nose corporations, and employees brown-nose corporations...and this is a democracy? I'm not overly fond of socialism, but think Marx was partly right, in that capitalism and democracy, really are a bit like oil and water.

Actor David Tennant is allegedly one of the U.K.'s sexiest stars, and all the those sex-starved teenage fan girls screaming their love and wolf-whistling at him, finally got to the actor.

At that moment, the actor broke out in tears, bolted away, and stuck his head inside the Tardis' phone receptacle, crying, "I'm not a sex-symbol, I'm not..I wanna' go home."

Slightly under the weather tonight--half the population in America seems to have a headcold, and I'm one of them, I'm afraid.

If anyone reading this lives on the east coast of England--my thoughts go with you tonight, and I sincerely hope that you, your family, neighbours, friends and pets, all get through the storm surge Okay.

Well, I'm really sad that I might never see Learners or CIN with the two Doctors...but, that's life, I guess. The timing sucks a bit though. I was thinking of re-reading Hamlet, to pass the time while I'm internet-less, but I can't find it...some of my books seem to be missing..somehow they got lost in the move last year, and I just never realized--well, it wasn't exactly a happy or easy, or pleasant move. I've been reading some pulp detective fiction by Raymond Chandler (Phillip Marlowe stories, Lady in the Lake, The Big Sleep, etc.) Read one, "Goldfish," that was quite good reading--tiny little twist at the end, which I love Chandler for--and now I'm in the midst of reading another short story, "Red Dust"--or something like that.

Anyway, speaking of Marlowe--different Marlowe this time-- I've go a copy of Marlowe's Shakespeare on my shelf, so I can find something else to read--'tho I will miss the internet, in that I used to use it in place of buying crib notes (to help me understand it better.) I once read Richard II, in an old paperback I had--that sadly, eventually fell apart--called, The Age of Kings...it was really a good book on Shakespeare--as it gave a brief rundown of the basic storyline, so you wouldn't have to just plunge into it cold turkey, so to speak. I like that, almost as much as I liked Hamlet, as for some reason, I just seemed to understand it better, and relate to it better--and, gosh, it really has some great quotes. Even tho' I'd read it in the late 80's, I still remember the line, "the bitter bread of banishment..." That's beautiful, I think.

I hear his little sister went to the party dressed as the Toilet Duck.

Well, lost another blog friend. Oh well. A certain person is upset with me for being upset with myself/my life on my blog. Here's a thought...if you don't like what I have to say, you could always just not read it?

That's why I set up an alternate personal blog, so I could say what I'm REALLY thinking and feeling, without unduly upsetting and offending anyone. The other blog gets pretty much zero readers, so that's a good thing, I think. But, I did get an earful, today, so to speak.

Well, have to leave for work in a bit over an hour, and I've a few quick chores that need doing. Cheers.

In light of recent budgetary problems, and also due to the fact that star David Tennant is temporarily leaving the show next year, the BBC has plans to tape an episode, showing the Doctor only from the knees down--thereby allowing a very skinny-legged eastern European extra, named Icant Ackt, to step into the role.

David Tennant has agreed to do the voice over for the story, to be recorded while he is in the loo, during intermissions of Hamlet.

The budget will also be cut for the writers of the show, with this episode said to be written by a member of the studio's cleaning staff. The story is to feature the Doctor dealing with an invasion of ants in the tardis's larder.

Here we see a photo of Icant Ackt as the Doctor, in the process of stepping on a ant walking across his bedroom carpet, while David Tennat is saying his trademark line, "No second chances!"

1. A staunch Christian, saying in one breath, to me, that she loves Jesus, and saying in the next breath that she thought the war in Iraq is a good thing, even though a lot of soldiers and civilians have been killed.

2. Getting a western catalog in the mail, advertising mule hide riding boots---you're using mule hide boots to ride a horse or mule...okay I do find that somewhat ironic.

3. Getting a security update from RealPlayer--that had a bug in it.

I just put out a private post for friends, but...realized that I'm not sure, now who sent me the PM that that post pertains to--if that person was on my friend's list.

I can't post the list publicly, as the web address given contains my real name.

Basically, someone PM'd me, requesting the address for my wish list on ThingsIwant.com--and yours truly accidentally deleted that PM. (To be fair, I was half-asleep at the time.)

Anyway, if you're the one who put out the request, yes--not sure why you want it, but you can have the address. If you're not on my friend's list tho', if you don't mind, please send me another PM, containing your e-mail address. Thanks. N.

Chilly in here, today. I know, 'cause Flame just bolted into the living room, and made a bee-line for the old cast iron radiator underneath the big front windows. She's sitting, scrunched up under the window, literally with her nose pressed against the heater. Flamey's got a cold nose, ha-ha. And even cuter, is the fact that she's still half-asleep, and staring at me bleary eyed. Humans aren't the only one's who hate getting up on a cold and dreary morning!

Looks like rain or snow outside. I'm sleepy, today. I woke early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I poured some milk into a pan and put it on the stove, made myself some hot chocolate--it's a bit stale tasting (it's the last of a tin of French chocolate powder, leftover from a shopping trip to T.J. Maxx back in January), but still, it's not too bad.

I got another e-mail from my internet acquaintance, that I know from one of the forums I sometimes visit, whom had contacted Accord Hospice on my behalf, regarding my fund raiser. She seemed genuinely distressed that they'd not contacted me. "But I e-mailed them the link (to the website) twice! U did this for them, and they can't even bother to thank U. I think that is real bad. They don't care about the hard work U did 4 them. Thats wrong."

(Arrgh!!! Now my mouse is acting up again today--once again having a mind of it's own--I HATE when it does that..no rhyme or reason to when it does it, either! I can't get it to go where I want--it is rejecting going to the left side of the page, blinking piece of crap that it is.)

Anyway, I honestly am saddened that L__ is so upset. I'm NOT. I don't care if Accord knows about this or not. It's not like we--me and my sponsors--raised thousands, like the Doctor Who and David Tennant sites did. I did point out to L___, that Accord may still be a bit swamped with e-mails, from Tennant and Who fans, or maybe they really don't care--so what? I am feeling bad for L___, tho.' She seems so upset about it. And, I'm upset that she feels that she went to the trouble to write twice, and thinks she's being ignored--I'm sure she's not, and I told her this. I'd not even thought about it, to tell the truth. The fund-raiser is over and done with, and I've moved on. I'm not sure what to say to L__ though, to help make her feel better.

Now, many famous celebrities are insured by their studios, and David Tennant's no exception. The BBC took a rather unusual step though, in extending the actor's policy to cover his trademark messy hairdo, as well, as can be witnessed in the exclusive photo below.

"Pigeon poo!"

As a phone professional, I do have my days--today, it seemed I was calling "Idiotville." Now, you get the blindingly stupid on the phone, from time to time--tonight, after more than a year on the job, I hit the jackpot! Wow--what a head-trip some of these people were. I was collecting overdue dues fees from club members...and quite a few didn't even know they were members (even though they paid some fees, and were receiving mail and a magazine, that clearly says "___club" on it), others would just babble weird stuff..one woman changed her mind several times, on whether she was a club member, where she lived and even--kid you not--what exactly her name was. Wow. And this, dear people, is EXACTLY how George Bush got re-elected.

Anyway, I was thinking about how, sometimes, I'd to actually like to say:

"Hello, Idiot Central University, would you like to enroll, today?"
"Are you naturally stupid, or did you take lessons?"
"Lovely manners, did you learn them from the zoo?"
"Oh, were you trying to impress me? Isn't that special?"
"If they had a Nobel Prize for stupidity, you'd win every year."
"Can you possibly scream any louder? I don't think they can hear you in China."
"So, when did you have your frontal lobotomy?"
"Hello, city morgue. You stab 'em and we slab 'em."
"Thank you for calling the Nut House, would you like to make a reservation?"
"Hello, Joe's Bar and Grill and Gynecology office."
"Mars Shuttle reservations desk, are we booking a flight today?"
"Hello, men's toilets, may I help you?"
"Sorry, you're in the bargain basement. Brains are on the top floor."
"Thank you for calling Idiots-R-Us. For instructions in English, I would suggest you get a friend to help you."

Wow, two more people have told me they've visited my online fantasy 'wish-list' site. Whoa. How'd they ever find it? Well, I finally found out--they both know my full name, so they must have Googled it, because when I did (okay, how many of you HAVEN'T Googled yoorself, at least once?) I found that it's still on there. Whoa. Hey, people, it was just window shopping--just like I did a few posts ago--it's NOT REAL. Okay? It was just me passing the time.

You see, when I was wee, we used to get, just before Christmas, the Montgomery Ward toy catalog--and my window shopping fetish started young, yeah? But, it's just pretend. Usually, when I do come into money, I usually have to spend most of it on dull stuff: repairs, bills, socks and underpants, stocking the cupboard, stuff like that. I've only rarely had funds to buy what I REALLY want. Early last winter, one month i was able to treat myself to some "luxuries," like a couple of CD's, and a new throw rug, a knick-knack, a paperback book, a new dress, stuff like that.

Whoops! I accidentially messed up the computer, and cut this entry off. Anyway, I had no idea, more than a year and a half down the road, that anyone would even know about my Things I Want.com wishlist! I'd honestly forgotten all about it, ages ago! Huh, very strange. I'm starting to feel a bit like a pop-star, ha-ha!

"Who me? Okay, yeah...I am wearing ladies red satan knickers...they're just sooo-comfy, you know?"

I'm a bit saddened--okay, very saddened, that I won't be able to take a planned day off, now. I'd scheduled to have the 14th off, so that I might go down to Albany to put flowers on my late-mum's grave...something which I'd not been able to do, for two years now, for various reasons. But, when I'd scheduled the day off, well in advance, I'd no idea my finances would be in such dire straights--so, no hope for it, but to cancel the bus trip down there--heck, I couldn't even afford the flowers, let alone the round-trip bus fare. Life stinks.

Casual Dress (The "real" me!)

Artists/songs I'm listening to, today:

The Proclaimers/Come on Nature, Redeemed
Paul McCartney/All my Loving
Barenaked Ladies/This is Where it Ends
Even Elroy/Another Song About Life
Weezer/Island in the Sun
Cake/Ain't No Good
The Guggenheim Grotto/Told You So
The Goldstars/Devil Queen
The Bridley Brothers/Hurricane
Fleetwood Mac/Go Your Own Way, Over My Head
Dave, Dee, Dozer, Beaky, Mick and Tich/Hold Tight
Sister Hazel/Green
The Jam/Liza Radley, see saw
Guess Who/No time
The Kinks/Susannah's Still Alive

Since I'm stuck here in this lame little northern city--we barely even have a crime rate, it's so quiet here! Well, I'm going window shopping on the internet. On my imaginary shopping trip, I'm going clothes buying (I'm imagining that I'm rich and can buy whatever I want-within reason, of course).

Here's my "posh" choices:

As the days grow ever-more shorter, and the wind blows colder, so too, do my hopes. My hope of providing a decent life for myself, of being truly self-supportive, is slowly dissolving, like the shrinking afternoon light. My fear, growing, like a mountain of ice in my heart, like the darkness that envelopes the winter dusk.

Well, I won't have to worry about anyone greeting me this way...hell, half the time no one even notices when I walk into the office--"oh? you're here then? I didn't see you come in..."

DOCTOR: "That's....that's....just the most hideous thing, I've seen, in all my 950 plus years!"

DOCTOR: "Posh and Beck are playing Romeo and Juilet!"

I sometimes kid around about the David Tennant fan-girls, but truthfully, I was a fan-girl once...okay, okay...twice. Ohhh-okay, you've twisted my arm--three times.

The first time was in the early 70's, when David Cassidy was on the Partridge Family. I had a serious crush on the guy. I remember when he came to do a concert at a local performing arts center, screaming his name and jumping up and down in the seat.

I was, I think, about 12 or 13, at the time. After that, in '73/74, I had a tiny little crush on a Native-American actor named Randolf Mantooth, who was in a very popular TV series about two Los Angles firefighters/paramedics, called "Emergency!" http://www.voyagerliveaction.com/rolespage.html (This series was directly responsible, for volunteer fire departments, in towns and villages--incl. mine-- across the nation, getting their own paramedics or EMT's.)

In Oct. of 1974, when I turned 14, my mum surprised me with a record album--John Denver's Greatest Hits--and thus, with the first turn of a record on a turntable, a SERIOUS fan-girl was born!

I felt that Denver's music sort of spoke to my own inner feelings. For several years, I would prowl the magazine racks for articles and photos, drag my parents to the record stores, spend hours listening to his records, had posters on the wall, and even talked my mum into taking me down to New York City (a three or four hour bus trip) to see him in concert, in 1976, and again in, I think, in '78 or'79. Okay, probably shouldn't admit this, but I sort of even looked like him--dutchboy haircut and round, gold wire-rimmed glasses, western shirts...mum used to say that I had "JohnDenver-itis," ha-ha.

And if anyone of you tells anyone I said any of this, I will hire a hit man masquerarading as a livestock inspector from Fargo, North Dakota, to shove garlic down your underpants while you are sleeping.

Half-past four in the morning and still wide awake! Dang! Too much caffine? Manic phase? Stress/worries? No clue. All I know is that I'd love to sleep, but I can't. It's going to be hell tomorrow. At least I can sort of sleep in, and extra hour or so. Thank goodness for that.

"Why does everyone keep calling me a geek? By the way, have you read that new Linux manual? Fascinating reading..."

Once again, I'm attempting to jot off a quick poem before bedtime.

(Untitled)

Howling 'round the eaves, like a wolf in the
Long dark days of late autumn, notes lingering,
Rising and falling, the breathing of the
Distance runner, the side-slipping riff of a skilled jazz
Piano player. Skittering crab's legs,
Mottled brown leaves run away from
Brittle, icy fingers. November winds, stampeding,
Head high, red nostril's flared, white-eyed stallion,
Fiercely driving home the message, that
Winter is pounding at our door.

"I'm playing a giant Lolliepop Kid...because of my hair, you see?"

Here's a blatantly honest road sign, if I ever saw one:

Sadly, my finances are still precarious, and look to be for quite a while yet. My pay rate was restored, and takes effect with this week's pay cheque, but a couple of months of short cheques and shorter work hours, has taken a terrible toll on my purse strings, and, any poor person will freely tell you, that you can fall down into the cracks very quickly, and all too easily--but crawling out from the crack can be a long, lonely and arduous climb--and sometimes, you just stay there. Forever. Until you die. Not pretty, but all too true.

Since photos of the signing at HMV yesterday were made public, fan-girls across Great Britain have been rushing out to buy the tee-shirt Mr. Tennant was wearing--but, they have also vowed to further mimic David's erm--dressed down--look, by swearing to forego hair brushing, and stop shaving all body hair--especially their facial hair. Rumour has it that Mum's everywhere are bringing out their rolling pins, and planning to waylay the actor outside the BBC Wales studios in Cardiff.

It's completely true about the tee-shirts, btw...can't vouch for facial hair and the angry mum's tho'.

"Ohhh--knew I shouldn't have stopped at McDonald's for breakfast!"

Yay!!! My food stamps were activated today! I got a notice today that the monthly activation date had been changed (moved up a few days)--and I could buy $20 worth of food with it! And...(imaginary drum roll) Pork chops were on sale! I got a pork chop! It was less than 2 dollars--okay it's not the best cut, but still...yippiee!! No more hunger for a while!

Now, you may think me a bit of a nutter--and perhaps I am--for going wild over a pork chop, but you see, I have been longing for pork chops for over a month--but they were so expensive, it just wasn't practical to buy even one. Now, pork has dropped in price considerably, this week--and I got one for $1.86! (Halve that for UK pounds). I even got some pork stew meat, as well, super cheap. Gosh, I could'a gone to town, today, had I the money...a big pork roast was only 6 dollars! I've not seen it that cheap in nearly a year. Not that I could justify buying something that large, not even for a special holiday, or something--too much for just me.

And, I got a rebate slip--a store credit slip--in the mail from Family Dollar today, for 5 dollars, so I bought a big kitchen knife set with it (the set was on special for $5), which is great timing, because I just broke my good utility knife the other week, and it's been tough trying to slice things with the other knife I have, which is a bit dull--like me.

See? Aren't I easy to please? Forget diamonds and furs--just throw me a pork chop and a new set of kitchen knives and I'm thrilled.

Here's proof: I remember a stunt me and some of my friends used to pull on the occasional unsuspecting bus-load of tourists: we were in our late teens and working the summer at a major national park, and there's this famous hotel there, the world's biggest log cabin, and the park's tour bus (driven by another friend) would let off passengers at the front entrance, at certain times of the day. Well, there was this fellow employeee that was sooo-handsome, everyone thought he looked like a movie star...so I got the idea that when a load of tourist's disembarked (usually Japanese or seniors) he'd time it so he would walk past them in sunglasses with a hat pulled over his face, and we female employees would pretend to be fan-girls, and run up to him asking for autographs--and the tourists would fall for it every time! It was hilarious! They'd get in on it and start snapping pics and ask him for his autograph--he'd sign it, I think (it was 27 years ago, mind) "Joe Kool" or something silly like that. Oh we would just fall all over ourselves laughing after.

Well, there's no hope for it, I have to buy some food at the store today--so I guess once again I'll have to be late with the rent--and risk eviction. I will stick to the basics though. Managed to scrounge a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, last night, but now there's nothing left but some boxed macaroni and cheese--and you need milk and margarine to make it, and..don't have any. Ah well. The cats will have food, at least I can still do that, thankfully.

I'll miss the internet, 'cause I'll miss seeing Learners on YouTube, which I hear is going to be quite good. And, of course, I'll miss the Children in Need special, as well. But, that's something I can maybe look forward to, later, then, ey? David Tennant's a really cool young dude--oh, not as polished an actor as Derek Jacobi--I mean, you don't see Mr. Jacobi acting all goofy and discussing the nickname for his manhood in public, but, still, Tennant's acting is...really good, very magnetic and powerful, in its own way, I think.

It has been reveled that the Rome studio fire wasn’t the only fire scare that the Dr Who team had, while filming. It is said that during the shooting for Series 3, someone reported smelling smoke on the set–but, it turned out to only be David Tennent, deep in thought about his character.

I started a thread in a forum Sunday, asking people to cut and paste facts about where they live from Wiki, and someone hijacked my thread and posted her own (NOT that I'm upset about that, honest), anyway, she copied my thread, and started a new one, because the thought the responses were "too long"---okay, we're talking about opening up a new window, Googling your town on Wikipedia, and copying and pasting it into the thread--you didn't have to type anything, for pity's sake! And this girl found it too "tiring." Ey?

I hate that humans are getting so incredibly lazy, that they can't even do easy stuff on the computer! Like cut and paste, search for something, or even READ a whole proper paragraph! Humanity is going BACKWARDS.

Computers are sucking human beings back into the pre-historic tidal pool from which they slurped themselves out of, so many eons ago. I really do believe that.

Me, I don't like things too easy, too easy worries the heck out of me. No, really, it's true.

Like for instance, traveling in a car. I would much rather take the long way 'round---on a winding country back road (A or B road), than travel down some motorway. I think straight lines, motorways, are so terribly, terribly dull. Give me a backroad, any day---that's where LIFE is, that's where one can think, and feel and be truly free...a motorway--is just...a motorway...a simple way to go from Point A, to Point B. And, I think, that's just no fun at all.

"Waugh! Look at the knockers on those girls."

Here we see actor David Tennant, proving that acting isn't his only talent:

"The porta-loo's are that way, mate!"

The Gray Hills of November.

The smooth whiskery touch of grass upon my back,
Fragrance of pine, buttery warm in the sunshine,
Coral-tinted hill-tops, delaying my homeward journey.
For this, I live: to see the sad gray hills of November,
Transformed into rose pedals, touched by the angels of God.

So, as I'm about to bid you all a fond farewell--until my finances are no longer in the crapper--I am going out with a bang! (figuratively speaking, I didn't eat any beans or anything)

I'm going to have mini-blogging marathon ha-ha...a few short essays, maybe a poem or a short story, and..yes, I'm going to pick on David Tennant.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think the man's brillantly talented and all, and I like the man, really I do. It's sort of like picking on a favourite cousin, or some guy you used to pal around with, as kids (being as I never had a brother, can't think of any other comparison)--not that I know Tennant, or ever will, mind. We come from two different worlds, of course.

And...I'll blog whatever comes to mind, which...won't be much, maybe, as I'm quite tired, at the moment.

Actor David Tennant admitted today, while at a London promotional signing for Doctor Who, that he has a secret ambition to be a wino/street person. When asked why, the Scots actor merely said, "Meh--I dunno', I just do..." Right after that, some men in white coats came and quickly ushered the actor away.

"Look at that, Freema! I haven't shaved or washed and ma'underarms stink, but still the fans-girl's love me!"
FREEMA: Why do you think I'm standing so far away from you David--and if you fart, so help me I'll...

Well, I posted an adoption notice on here, a while back...no takers yet. No one wants me? Is it my age? My old-maid status? My weight/looks? The fact that I'm a Whovian? My cats? My mussy hair? Oh well, it was worth a try.

If you're wondering why so many posts, it's because I won't be on here much longer, and I'm trying to make up for that--hope it's not getting too annoying for my blog friends, though.

Another expensive toy to kill the imagination of children:

From today's Sun:

DOCTOR Who bosses aim to exterminate the competition this Christmas – with a Dalek toy that obeys human orders.

The toy goes on sale this month for £99.99. The Dalek Hybrid Voice Changer Mask, which turns human voices into Dalek speech, has already sold 100,000 units since its release last month.

Okay, okay--I admit, I'd want one, as well...

Last year, before I began blogging or even writing fan fiction, I was totally bored, and found a "wish-list" website and began making a "fantasy" wish list for myself, for want of nothing better else to do...and then, forgot about it, months later. You know, one of my internet friends found it? Gosh, stuff you do on the internet surely hangs around for quite a while, doesn't it?

I do, I admit, like to go "window shopping" on the internet. We don't really have a proper downtown in this city--well, we do, but it's mostly geared to the young and the trendy, and there's not much really, to look at, no department stores--just little botiques, pubs and entertainment venues--there's, I think, one antique shop left on the street, a wine merchants, a ceramics store, a couple of upscale (and pricey) bookstores, stuff like that. And the mall's too far away, and the bus has a rather wonky schedule.

So, I mess about online, looking at posh clothes, western clothes, outdoorsy clothes, model horses, model trains, antiques, saddles, Dr Who merchandise, tee shirts, books, CD's, DVD's, paintings and prints, sculptures and figurines, furnishings, cookware, gardening stuff, games (REAL games, not video games), restaurant menus from places I will never go to: resturants in London, Scotland, Ireland, Los Angles, Chicago, Fort Worth, etc..

It's a bit dumb, I know, but..it's something to do, and it's free--well, minus the cost of my internet service, ha-ha.

Just rang up Salvation Army, which is only just a block away, 'round the corner on Chester Street, and I was told that they couldn't help me, until I spoke to some other person, to make an appointment! An appointment to get food! What is this planet coming to? I don't enjoy having to ask for handouts, but to have to schedule an appointment for an INTERVIEW for a handout--God, that's awful. And, I can't even get hold of the person, till later..so..I don't know. Maybe I'll just try to muddle through as best I can, for the month. Other people survive on practically nothing, reckon I can, for a while, 'till I can get my income back on track. A blinking appointment? Damn....

Ironically, with this illness, some days I have to force myself to eat--but yesterday, when the cupboard was getting thin, I was so incredibly hungry all day...hell, that's just stupid. When I have food, I have to make myself eat, when I don't have much...I'm famished. Wish my body would get its act together.

Well, I'm ringing up Time-Warner cable today, and telling them to pull the plug on my phone/internet--I'm genuinely surprised they've not done so, already.

Right now, as I write this, Freema Agyeman and David Tennant are at HMV in London, signing copies of the Series 3 DVD box set--oh, those lucky, lucky people...wow, though, I am amazed at how much money people have, over there--I'd never be able to buy that in a million years...it's the equivilent of over 200 dollars for that thing, over here! Whoa!

Well, not meeting DT and his co-star today, instead, I'm going 'round to Sally Army, round the corner, to see if they can give me some blinking food--then, I'm off to work at quarter to two.

Life sucks and then you die.

These people are NUTS! How do these big celebrities cope with it? Well, I suppose, if I were making a million or more a year, I'd bloody well learn, wouldn't I? Wow, bit of a head-trip though, I must say.

I'm so bored, that I just spent a half hour looking at photos on the internet of Great Lakes freighters coming and going from port. Interesting, but hardly exciting, ha-ha. Tho' I never knew one could travel via frieghter, and that the guest/state rooms could be so cozy looking. Imagine it's a very relaxing way to travel, if you're one of those people who doesn't need constant entertainment all the time, like so many seem to, nowadays.

I'm blindingly bored right now. I'm so bored, I could even resort to making oragami toilet paper.

Okay, that didn't make a lot of sense, did it. My mind's a bit wobbly sometimes, of late, a side effect of my illness. My eyesight's getting worse, as well--hence all the typos, sometimes.

Goofed off the later part of the day, blogging in this and my WordPress blog, I added just a few lines to my latest play, made supper, petting Flame--who surprisingly seems her old, chipper self, today--and her appetite is completely back, happily. She was so awfully sick, the other morning, I was actually very concerned for her, poor wee thing. We had ourselves a nice little chat, this evening, as she lay on my lap.

I miss having someone to talk to, in my off-hours (when I'm not working or shopping for groceries). While I’m much, much more chatty than I was when I was young (blame it on college), I still don’t like to talk much. But, in an ironic twist, I do love a good conversation…I savour it. I place a high value on a nice conversation–I cling to it, like a shipwrecked sailor clings to a floating spar in stormy seas.

"Oh, was I supposed to catch John before he fell? Gee, what a pity. He was so busy bragging to me how much bigger his...erm--screwdriver was, that I guess I just wasn't paying much attention to the director."

Well, I'm really up a creek--I cashed my pay check on Wednesday, and the store where I cash my cheques always had a 5 day limit, so I thought I'd be okay, going on Monday--now I've just opened some mail from the store, that I thought was junk mail--it's a notice that starting this week, there's a six-day wait between cashing cheqes--and this is the ONLY place in all of Glens Falls, that I can go to cash a check now. So, the cats and I will be without food, on Monday, as I only bought enough to tide myself over 'till today. Life sucks and then you die--if you're really, really lucky. I'm not. I just have to stinking bite the bullet and keep living. I'm madder than a wet cat, right now. I HATE big business, I HATE America, I HATE my stinking life!

I was given permission to use this from another website, posted by a gent that goes by the handle, "Jack." It's a great piece on theater ettiquite--in this day and age, where so many people seem to have slipped backwards in evolutionary terms, and forgotten basic manners, and also, in a time--with home entertainment a major industry--many people have never been to the theater, and are a bit intimidated by the thought. This is a really great guide, I think, for everyone:

Arriving At The Theatre

Remember, you are there to be entertained. So enjoy!

DOC 5: "Did someone leave the gas on?
DOC 10: "Nahh--I just farted."
DOC: 5: "Oh. Well, carry on, then."

Need I say more?

Funny, but I think Catherine Tate ("Donna Noble") looks somewhat similar to Liz Sladen ("Sarah-Jane Smith") in that shot--the hair, maybe? The facial expression? The pose? Meh--maybe it's just me?

Who/What I'm listening to, today:

The Proclaimers: Role Model
Duane Jarvis: A Girl That's Hip
Barenaked Ladies: This is Where it Ends
Ministry of Sound: I Couldn't Spend Another Day
Richard X. Heyman: The Scheme of Things
Dave, Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich: Hold Tight
Fleetwood Mac: Go Your Own Way (Great driving song!)
Fastball: Airstream
The La's: There She Goes
The Proclaimers: Reedeemed
R.E.M.: Man on the Moon (Live

Well, lost my service for about 5 minutes--don't know if it was a glitch in the cable line, or if it's a hint from Time-Warner, ha-ha.

Besides my friends, and blogging, I'm sorely going to miss my internet radio stations!

So, since I'm stuck here on a Sunday, I thought I post this before making lunch (gravy on toast). These stories gave me a chuckle, I hope they do the same for you:

A car recycling centre in Berlin is hiring out sledgehammers at £1.60 per hour to people who want to get rid of their stress on the old cars.

Well, this may be my last day or two of blogging. I have to ring up Time-Warner tomorrow, and tell them to shut me off. I just can't do it--things will be a bit tricky for the next month or two--National Grid kind of put the last nail in my financial coffin, but moving my due date forward like they did--and refusing to push it back to where it was (the first-class B*stards).

No help for it, I'm afraid. Been nice blogging to most of you, I must say, and I shall miss my friends.

I'll be posting, right up to the end--sometime between Monday and whenever they get 'round to doing it, though.

Poor wee Flame was dreadfully ill when I left for work this morning--refused to eat or drink and seemed to have a real tummyache, and, she still was clearly under the weather when I came home.

Well, shortly after my supper, I went and laid down and brought her into bed with me, poor dear snuggled right up against me, under the covers, and fell fast asleep, with me petting her...and about two hours later she seemed to perk up, and a half hour after that, she finally drank, and later still, even ate a little something, and now, though still obviously not great, her eyes seem brighter and she's much more alert and perky.

Gosh, cats are even bigger babies when sick, then men are! And THAT'S saying something!

I was sitting here, thinking about all the things I no longer have in my life, that once were so comforting, so familiar.

Take sounds, for instance: the brash horn of a diesel locomotive in the middle of the night, the village school bus grinding its way up the steep hill every weekday morning and afternoon, the clicking of the radiator on the floor alongside my bed, on a cold winter night. The squeak of linoleum as mum puttered about the kitchen, the roar of the wind in the two large hackberry trees in our front yard, the distant clanking from the steel mill about a quarter-mile down the tracks, the screeching of a hawk as it wheels in the morning sky, the patter of rain on the roof, the village fire siren letting us all know that it's six O'clock every night, the clanking of dishes as supper is prepared, the murmur of the television late at night through the closed bedroom door, the crickets songs wafting through the door screen on a hot summer night.

W

Twice now, I've been sent an e-greeting by an unknown sender. When I go to the website to pick it up, they say it doesn't exist! Then, when I choose to click on the link, a get a notice that it's in an attached file...doesn't sound quite right to me, so I dumped both of them in my junk box.

If you are sending me an e-greeting, please let me know, otherwise, I'm going to assume that this may be some sort of virus or other harmful type of e-mail, and will trash it. PLEASE: Never send me an e-card without first letting me know who it's from, or chances are it will be binned.

I can't afford to take a chance and have my computer totally messed up--it cannot be replaced. Ever.

Someone just wrote me and demanded that I cease doing David Tennant captions--especially cracks about his hair and clothing, and that I should apologize, as well. Okay then, I'll stop--until the 4th November, and I apologize for David Tennant having sometimes odd tastes in attire and really, really mussy hair.

So, in place of a DT caption, I bring you...(drum roll please)..animal captions!

"If I tilt my head a little more to the left, I think I can get in the football game!"

"It's no longer politically correct to eat mice, so I just use them for a party hat."

After Polly died, Phil found that her stiff little corpse made an excellent bottle opener.

Here we see an exclusive pic of Scots actor David Tennant, praying that he can become enough of a geek, to ward off the hoards of fan-girls, whom he fears may one day rip off his clothes and snog him to death. The actor was overheard to say, "That may be every red-blooded Scotsman's dream, but I'm a Londoner, now. I'm too delicate for that."

That would be me, I reckon--on ice anyway.

It being November, a co-worker brought up the subject of snow--or rather, the lack thereof. We were both shaking our heads in wonder at the fact that so many of the trees here are still GREEN! Okay, it's November in northeastern New York state--the trees are supposed to be very dark orange, brown or maroon--or completely bare of leaves...they are NOT supposed to be green! The only green we should be seeing at this time of year, is pine needles and a bit of grass. This is really bizarre.

We were talking about all the ice storms we had last winter, due to the unusually warm temperatures for the first half of the season, and hoping this year won't be a repeat--gosh, I am sooo-bad on ice! Hate it. I hate walking on ice, almost as much as I hate George W. Bush--and that's really saying something!

Then we talked about winter activities, and I was asked if I'd ever been skiing. No.

I did walk down a ski slope in winter once--well, had no choice, did I? I rode the chair lift up to the top, for the view--not realizing that you HAD to get off, once you got there. Fortunately, the slope was packed powder, so I didn't have to wade through the stuff.

I did actually sign up for free lessons once, in my mid-20's...but mum put her foot down and was quite adamant that I not do it. In hind sight, I guess she was quite right, too, knowing my track record for injuries.

Blimey! I even got a sprained ankle snowshoeing once! Okay, well, let's be fair, I was walking down a steep embankment, and there was ice hidden under the snow, that made me slip.

But, pretty much the only ice that I will go near, is that in my cold drinks.

...we could be as easily amused as our pets.

This morning, Boots followed me into the loo, and sat on the sink while I--well, did what comes natural, and then I flushed. Well, wasn't Boots just fascinated by the process? He leaned over the bowl, ears perked forward, raptly watching the water swish around the white porcelain--then, after it gurgled itself out, he looked up at me, with a wondrous expression on his big ol' ginger and white cat-face, his big gold eyes opened wide, as if to say, "That was soooo-neat! Do it again, ma!"

...nose hair, apparently, he keeps it well-trimmed.

Hope you all had a nice day.

Tonight I was thinking about all the hobbies I used to do--gosh, I used to have fun, when I was younger. I used to do all sorts of hobbies, depending on my cash outlay and the whim of the moment:

Antique bottle collecting
antique saddles and equine collectables
model trains
1/64th scale miniatures (in this case a model riding stable/horse farm and later, a town.
also:
model horses
silk flower arranging
wood carving
leather craft (mostly belts and western bolo ties)
old books
writing (poetry/plays/fan fiction)
general antiques
local history
cooking
gardening
theater

Mind, some things I was kind of good at, and some things rather rubbish--and some things I pursued diligently, with a passion--and some things were just a casual interest of the moment-- but I enjoyed them all, just the same, and I miss them a great deal.

Some things I still do, when I can--obviously still writing a little, and I still have quite a few model horses--even bought a new one (a miniature model), last spring, on sale. I have several horse-related antiques, still--not the big collection I used to have, though--just a 200 year old horse bit, a semi-collectable cowboy bit from the 50's, a 1920's western pony bridle, and a fancy early 20th C. fox hunter's riding crop. Meh--not much of a collection, ey? I used to have, at one time, half a dozen antique saddles, and tons of little odds and ends--one item dating back to the 14th century. Had to sell most of it off, though--to my bitter regret. Next to Dr Who and writing, antique saddles and stuff like that, are sort of a passion , with me...I'm sort of an expert, I suppose--well, used to be, anyway.

I really miss having something to occupy my time and share with others who share my interest. It makes the long hours fly, when you are intent on something.

I've often wondered, in my struggle to make sense of my life, my world--to what do we really strive for? Where do we look for guidance? In words, in God, in our peers, or our leaders? A mixture of all, or none?

I look at the night sky--the same night sky I've gazed at countless times. I try to name the stars, but nothing comes to mind. I look at the trees, their leaves rippling in the restless breeze, and shiver, with the the knowledge that, like them, I am hard on the heels of the winter of my life.

I am a formless bit of dust, being blown into the empty crack of life, and I feel so very lost, now. Pretty soon, I will fall down so far, that I shall become completely invisible.

Here we see an exclusive photo of actor David Tennant getting a little extra something, besides his award, Wednesday night. Tennant was overheard to say, "I was greeted onstage by this gorgeous woman, I got a big squeeze, and it felt really good. I love being a stud-muffin."

I'm off to bed in a mo'.

Well--that was...erm--gross. I was just now sitting here, typing away in my blog, when Flame jumped up on my lap--and promptly spit up all over my right hand and last clean night shirt, BARF! YUK!!! Thankfully none of it got on the keyboard.

Well, that's a great way to end the day, ey? Cat barf. Lovely.

Going to bed an hour early tonight. Spent part of the night, adding a few lines to a play, blogging, corresponding to some e-mails from two of my internet friends, and checking out stuff on Youtube--was going to watch some Dr Who, but I'm way too tired to stay up any longer.

Hope you all have a good Friday.

I hate it when I get what I think is a great idea for a play, story, whatever...and then...totally forget what it was!

I try to keep notes, but, you know how it is...well, my mental state, with my illness, is a bit fuzzy at times, of late--early senility...well, I have the rocking chair, the graying hair, my three cats, senior vitamins--not doing the stewed prunes or adult nappies thing yet, thank goodness!

But gosh, yeah, sometimes of late, I get sooo-frustrated with myself, because simple stuff that I used to take for granted, just isn't so easy any longer. And I'm not even 50 years old, yet! It's really hard coping, some days. Some days more than others, I really do miss having someone in my life. But...not much I can do to change my reality, so I have to just suck it up and deal.

Don't mind me, I'm just my usual crotchety old self today.

"Blimey! Look at them, going at it like bunnies--and I thought time lords had wild sex!"

Some people just seem to enjoy picking apart everything they see or hear--spend much of their lives analyzing--or, even, over-analyzing everything little cotton-pickin' thing that comes their way--maybe in an effort to make themselves more important in an often impotent culture.

And some people, never think much about anything at all. They just skim along the surface of life, like waterbugs on a pond, never really learning or observing, just...existing.

Sometimes, I think, it's not the scientists and politicians and analysts that have it right. And not the trendy, fast-paced, gotta' have it now, type of folks, that grasp the world as it is.

I think, it's the poets and playwrights, the actors and artists, the farmers and the teachers, that have it right. That take the time to look around, to see, to feel, to think, to question.

But, that's just my opinion.

CONGRATULATIONS to the folks who bring us Doctor Who, for winning best drama, and, especially, to David Tennant, on winning the Best Actor NTA award again this year!

The actor had this to say, about wearing trousers:

David, who arrived with co-star Freema Agyeman, thanked his “lucky pants”, joking: “I’ve always got my lucky pants on except when I haven’t got any pants on at all — and that’s unlucky.” --the Sun.

I've not checked my visitor stats in a while, so I did--and...

...nearly 22,000 visitors for October!

My gosh! This time last year, that number was less than 400! Wow, what am I writing that people find so interesting? Wow. That takes a bit of time to wrap my mind around. I actually truly am a bit nonplussed. Of course, a lot of them are probably just 2-second page views, but still..wow.

The Doctor's reaction, after finding out that South Park's Kenny will be his next companion. Oh wait. Sorry. That's just David Tennant before his morning cuppa.