does a man need a license to carry a purse...erm, I mean, wallet!

Read on...

Sporrans may become a relic of the past. New laws designed to protect endangered species like badgers and otters, kilt wearers may face prosecution if they do not have a license for the fur on their sporrans. Though the law applies to those animals killed after 1994, if a person cannot account for the source of the fur – even if it is a family heirloom – and produce a licence, a hefty fine and six months prison time may be levied.

A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a chemists to speak to
the druggist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded
cotton bandana, opens it to reveal a smaller silk square which he
unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it.
He holds it up. "How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the man at the counter.
"Six pence," says the man. "How much for a new one?" "Ten pence."

The Scot folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandana,
places it in his sporran and marches down the aisle and out the door
of the chemists.A moment or two later a great shout goes up, followed by an even greater shout. The Scot walks into the chemist's again and back to the man behind the counter.

"The regiment has taken a vote," the Scot says. "We'll have a new one."