There is a Hell, and it's called telemarketing. Tonight I worked on calling people who signed up for a long-term membership, some even had made as many as half their payments, and stopped paying. Basically, collections calls.
Half my calls tonight slammed the phone in my ear, the minute I said the words "_____club." 35 percent screamed at me, for: the computer dialing a wrong number, them not reading the fine print about the payment plan (Yeah, right. The club, out of the goodness of their hearts, is going to give these people 250 to 300 dollars of free gifts, AND a lifetime subscription to the magazine, for just 24 dollars? Okay, then...), got holler at for asking for a boy/girl friend who moved out and why am I calling--(because, stupid, they never told the club they moved), yelled at for daring to ask for them payment right then and there (albeit very, very politely), asking why I'm calling their child and (my info doesn't list age) why is he a member? (Doh--because he sent in a membership voucher without telling you?)..and on and on.
Got the usual drunks and non-English speaking people (they can't speak a word of English but they get an English-only magazine? And subscribe for a long-term membership? Riiiight), the snarky wives, the assinine rednecks...the usual, in other words.
But, the highlight of the night: getting a little old lady from Iowa at 9:57pm. Oh, I made the sale--at 10:08pm (quitting time is at 10)...but only after this old woman (she was nice, to be fair) yakked my ear off about how her and her family spent the last three days de-tasseling their corn...and I learned in that time, more than I ever possibly want to know, about the intricacies and hassles of detasseling corn
Detasselling is a nasty job, usually done by teenagers or migrant farm workers. You only do it for seed corn or corn used for industrial purposes. The tassel in question that you must remove, is down in the plant still, covered by the leaves. Not the wavy stuff on top. And if the tassel is covered with slimy bugs--oh well, get over it. It's a wet, muddy job, only done while the dew is on the corn--sunrise to late morning. You can get "corn rash" from being in constant contact with the wet stalks. Detasselling is mostly done in the American mid-west, where the seed crops for major agricultural seed dealers orginate from: Iowa and Illinois, mainly.
See, I learned stuff tonight! What the hell I'll ever use this info for--other than my blog, I've no clue whatsoever. Maybe I can incorporate it into a Dr Who story...the Doctor Does Iowa. The Taris lands in a corn field, but it's not really corn--it's really evil alien seeds that will be used to take over the human race. The Doctor saves the day by detassling the corn with nothing more than his sonic screwdriver and a wad of used chewing gum. Nahh--- 
So that's how I wound up putting in 15 minutes of Hell tonight, hearing a nice old woman prattle on about hassles of removing corn tassel buds. Lovely way to spend an evening, ey?
