Well, I'm not doing so hot, today...got yet more bad news heaped on me--cutting back my hours again--they just rang me up and changed my schedule on Monday, for Tues thru Sun--now they're changing it yet again, starting tomorrow! And I may not be working much at all, next week--no clue--I don't really mind having my schedule messed about with--as long as I get a decent pay cheque (as in able to pay the rent and bills and buy food), but...I don't know. Things aren't looking good for me.
I'm NOT sucicidal, okay? But, that said, I'm not much wanting to see old age, either. I'm stuck in a living Purgatory. I've been looking and looking for another job--there just isn't anything! I don't have great computer skills, I suck at anything to do with numbers, most good-paying jobs are too costly to travel to, or just plain too far away. there's...just...nothing. A few low-wage part-time jobs...I already have that, thanks. I mean, I'm not crabbing about getting 9 dollars an hour--but working part-time, it's not great. And my hours are so crazy...how can I work a second job and still keep this one?
The situation is...just untenable. I don't know what to do...except cry. And just keep living, from day to day, whatever happens. But sometimes, I do envy my mum. I hate to say that, but I'd be lying if I said different. She's got her peace, now. What I wouldn't give for some peace again. Just one more time...but...no. No point wishing for what's gone.
Ah, I don't want anyone thinking I'm out for sympathy...heck, I'm too painfully aware of the fact that there's people--all over the world---worse off than me. It's just hurts so much inside, sometimes, that I'd give anything, anything in the world, just to make it stop.
Honestly, tho', I really am trying to hang in there, through this, and keep my sense of humor--it's really the only thing left to me, now. It's just that some days it's really rough dealing with all this crap alone--I really, really miss mum. I miss being hugged and having the occaisional shoulder to cry on. It's hard. It's really hard, some days.
menhir
I'm glad you are writing and keeping in touch.
You say you have no computer skills. I beg to question that. I see what you write and how you format your layout. You certainly can spell, you are correctly grammatical in your use of language, you know where to punctuate and where capital letters are required. You can obviously use a word processing software package. That is an extremely good skill, especially as you can incorporate with that use, a good knowledge and proper presentation of the English language. There are large numbers of people who cannot do what you can do. Look around the blog site it will give you some idea about what I am saying.
I do not know how to offer you any practical advice as I do not know your systems. Freeasthewind is certainly an avenue worth pursuing, hers sounded like a good suggestion.
I understand what you say about lack of choice in what sounds like a remote area, or one that is difficult to negotiate with transport.
Keep in contact - it's good to hear from you.