Have to be at work in an hour, running through the same old script, hearing the same old cranky people give the same old snarky responses--and, maybe, if I'm very lucky, actually have contact with someone especially nice to talk to, or make someone feel better about his or her situation--still an awful lot of jobless people out there, despite with the ignorant people in America "think."

Had one yesterday. A "lady" from Oklahoma--calling OK is almost as bad as ringing up Kentuckians, trust me--Anyway this little old southern lady, kept yammering at me about how her daddy worked for Texico and how she grew up on the oil fields, how she used to be a big executive with the state government, how she's 81 years old and runs a big ranch with 55 head of cattle, blah-blah-blah...and then, this person--whom I'm willing to be probably never was never poor--or at least, never wasn't able to feed herself or her kids---started yammering on about welfare people whining that they weren't getting enough food stamps and that the pay was too low and that they couldn't find a decent place to live. (this is the part where I gritted my teeth and politely said (in other words, I lied) "oh I know, dear."

When the woman ironically said that she "wished these people would stop complianing and whining." I merely visioned this woman in my mind when I truthfully answered, "Ummm-hmmm." It's so very easy for these conservatives and others to put down the poor--because they've NEVER been poor, don't have a clue, don't want to have a clue. Because caring takes courage and thinking takes effort and...well..these people may be nice in some ways, but they're just so...shallow. If they were a pond, the fish would suffocate. Heck, I was working full-time back in July, and at one point, didn't have enough money left over from the bills for food. I went a good part of the week, with nothing to eat but--literally--peanut butter on a spoon and some tinned peaches. And I had only myself to feed--what do people on low wages do, who have kids? It's hard, and what makes it harder in this country, are these ignoarant self-serving uptight "my way or the highway" conservatives thinking that they know what's best for everybody---when they aren't really thinking at all.

Someone was going around the office, asking people to a party. I knew she wouldn't ask me. No one ever does. People seldom talk with me. It's just me, I guess. I'm just not someone people want to include in things. I rarely have ever been asked to join in. And that's okay. That's who I am. I often think that if my penfriends ever met me face to face, without knowing who I was, very likely they wouldn't want me around, either. I'm just that sort of person. Some people attract people--I make them stay away...not on purpose--it's just my looks, my personality...it's...me. And I've grown used to it. I've never been in anyone's clique..never had a circle of friends, to speak of. Sometimes it's hard, but mostly, I just accept it. After more than 45 years, I don't think that's ever going to change.

It's quiet here, I like the quiet. I don't always like being alone, but it's okay. Thre's a world of worse things than being alone, trust me.