You know, anyone who's been reading my blogs with any regularity, that my life has basically been in the loo, for the last year or so.
I sometimes have been so caught up with my problems and fears and all, that I forget the really important things in life: the little things.
My little cat flame, spent the night playing with her ball, then she jumped up on my lap for a pet, then she abandoned me for the old iron radiator in front of the living room window...It was on, giving off a gentle heat, and she stretched out her little cat body, wiggled around and got all comfy, and just started at me with this "Ahhhhh!" expression on her face. She's lost some of her fur, poor thing, due to alergies, and she's a bit..well, bald, in spots yet--tho' it's healing gradually---and she gets a bit chilly, my Flamey does. So when the radiator turns on, she loves to lie there, like a girl on the beach getting a nice tan, and soak up the warmth. It's the little things that make Flame happy.
It used to be the little things that made me happy, as well. Some of those things are gone forever of course ( walks through my woods with the dogs, sitting outside by a roaring fire on a crisp October night listening to the radio and looking at the stars, going for a Sunday drive in the country, watching a funny movie with mum or a friend, things of that sort) and they can never come back to me again, except in my memories, which I do hold dear.
But that said, there's still some "quiet pleasures" that are in my life. It's just that I get so caught up in all the bad, that I sometimes overlook the little bits of good.
Like this blog, and writing Doctor Who stories or plays and such--I tune in some music, write, drink some coffee or tea or soda and just let the creative juices--or whatever--flow. My friends and aquaintences on the internet---hearing from them, even if it's just a line or two, really makes me feel good. Petting and playing with the cats, reading a good book, listening to some good music on a quiet evening, seeing the Christmas lights, watching Doctor Who...little things, that I think I take far too much for granted. I need to slow down and appreciate things more. Yes, I have lost a great deal in my life, that meaant much to me---but I've gained some things as well--new friends, the re-appearence of Doctor Who in my life (until this past winter, I'd thought the show was gone forever), I still have 3 cats...today I broke down.
I was in the one dollar store, looking for a mop (sold out) and a packet of cat toy balls for the cat's Christmas presents, and I spotted a tiny little decorated Christmas tree (about the size of a man's hand if stood on end), and a little white and gold ceramic deer. So I broke down and spent the two dollars on the Christmas decorations. I told myself it didn't matter if I had no Christmas this year, but I'm just lying to myself--so now I can admire my little tree and put a record on and play some carols on the phonograph Christmas eve--after I get home from work--, and watch the cats play with their toys, and that'll be my little Christmas this year. Maybe on the way home from work, if I can afford it, and they're open, I'll swing by the Chinese resturant, and treat myself to an order of fried dough--or, barring that, maybe buy some microwave popcorn or some chips (crisps) and dip or something to munch away the hours with, until midnight (A family tradition--we always stayed up until midnight on Christmas eve).
I want to thank everyone who left comments, by the way. I only just got round to reading them. I've left comments of my own, when I had time. I have miss you all, and really am thrilled to be back....hope Wifey is reading this--you hang in there yourself, okay?
