I Ain't Afraid of No Daleks

Well....I was going to take in a movie (first time in well over a year) tommorrow, but decided against it--don't like the crowds of kiddies, so I will go on Wednesday, if all goes as planned. Tommorrow, I'll loaf around the apartment, read, listen to music, watch Doc Who.

I am really wondering what tie-in's there'll be this season, that have carried over from Series two...I was already right, it seems, about the disapearing Doomsday Dalek, and I'm told Magpie's back...what about the cold weather references? Ice Warriors? Hmmmm---? What other little hints were there in the last series that will crop up in this upcoming series? I will likely have a long wait to find out, but that makes the day, when I will finally get to see it, all that more to cherish, ey?

I was toying with the idea of doing a bit of baking tommorrow, but haven't got all I need (including a baking sheet or pan), so will have to postpone that. I was thinking either mum's/gran's peanut butter cookies or some Amish lemon cookies...could take them into work with me. My stuff tastes okay, but baking isn't really my strong suit in the kitchen--I'm much better at sauces, stews, soups and sandwiches, than I am at the baking stuff--and never ask me to make salad dressing from scratch--my culinary arts professor just about tore his hair out (couldn't get the mix to emulsify properly--kept serperating). My pie crust and breads are complete rubbish--'tho I do make a pretty darn good homemade donut (my trick: a tiny extra pinch of nutmeg).

Speaking of work, my hours have been indeed cut, but..not laid off altogether, which many, many of us fussed and worried a bit over--that's why so many employees opted for overtime during the forth quarter rush. I'm cut from my current 45 to 50 hours a week, down to 25 to 30 hours a week, but by February, may be going back up to 39 hours a week. I'll be working nights, 5 to 10, ---and some weekends, as well, on occaision. Hopefully I can find a day job to fill the gap, but with getting a disability cheque for the next two months, I have a bit more time to look. I was really anxious about being jobless for January...went through that last year, two and a half months of unemployment--not good.

I was in the dollar store the other day, looking for a cheap mop, when I spied a little bottle of liquid potpourri..."winter forest." I got round to putting in my little potpourri pot last night...mmmm---nice. Reminded me exactly of the grove of Eastern White Pines that grew behind our backyard, where I grew up. What a lovely smell--especially after a rain...woody and spicy and rich with the warmth of the earth and sun and rain. On sunny days, I used to sit on the soft thick carpet of long orange-brown needles, smelling that smell being radiated in the sunshine, listening to the mixture of wind and birdsong and the distant whoosh of cars on nearby NY Route 378. When we were kids, we used to make walls of "houses" by building up mounds of the needles--we had a big elm tree that had thick woody vines twisted aound one side of the trunk, forming a chair-like nook. That was our "throne" and the pine-needle "walls" was our palace. We took turns playing kings and queens. Funny how one little smell can bring back so many memories, isn't it?

So, my microwave died this morning. No clue why...started to go on then...bleh. Dead as a doornail. Tried other outlets, it's just gone. Time to look in the Sunday flyers for sales. It was a cheap one, but only 2 years old...get what you pay for, I guess.

I put my rainy day fund in the bank Friday, thinking I had my ATM card if I needed anything, and my cheque book. Ha. I have one cheque left (new cheques haven't arrived) and my ATM card seems to not be working. Yesterday was the first time I had to use it, and it wouldn't be accepted...bank says I have to go in on Tuesday and have it re-activated. Lovely. So, I've got, what for me, is wads of cash (most of which is going on the rent, and current/future bills) and I have no money! Well, I've the 15 dollars left over from my shopping the other day. But it is a bit bizzare, to have money in the bank and be, for all intents and purposes, broke at home. Tuesday promises to be a very busy day, indeed. Laundry, bank, shopping for a new microwave (if I can find one cheap enough)...long day indeed. But, the really bizzare thing is my turn-around, in just a few days, of being virtually constantly broke, to being nearly 500 dollars ahead of the game (thanks to my continuing disability cheques). If I continue with my frugal ways, I will at least have something put aside for when the next financial disaster hits...and, I also suddenly have health coverage again--tho' not as cheap as before. And, the time now, to persue my medical problems (diabetes, retinitis pigmentosa, broken tooth--I really don't want to know if anything else is wrong with me, I think those three are quite enough, ta. )

Well off to work for half a day. The snow's still on the ground, but the sun's shining at any rate. Another day of people yelling at me over the phone, but I have the next day off, so no complaints here.

Life is very strange.

Just a bit over 24 hours ago, I faced a job lay off, abject poverty and living in sub-freezing temps (It was -40 F (that's MINUS 40 farenheight) in January of '04, and when I was 19, Christmas time in 79, the outside temp was -25F at home in the upper Hudson Valley, and further north broke the records (still standing) in the central Adirondack mountains,at -51 F. It ain't London, that's for sure. The cold here can very literally be deadly. It has killed before, more than once, the lost hiker or elderly person without heat. Working outdoors, I've had close calls with both hypothermia and frostbite (including missing a itsy-bitsy piece of my left earlobe) and I can tell you, the sub-freezing cold here is painful! I mean, before you lose all feeling, it really hurts.

Now, I do actually have a high tolerance to cold. I've lived in unheated bedrooms, up to 15 F. (The record for me is actually 12F, (when I was 19 and my bedroom was in our unheated converted attic) helped along by my half-collie Shamrock, 12 assorted quilts and blankets, a sleeping bag and an electric fire.

By the way, I looked it up...our state's record low temp (1979) is 51 below, and that's minus 46 celsius, to put things in better perspective for my British friends. That record was set in Old Forge, roughly 50 miles away from Glens Falls, in the heart of the Adirondack state park.

Oh yeah, you could see your breath in the morning! It was a scramble to get downstairs...and one had to have very good kidneys, indeed (would you want to pry yourself out from under twelve blankets and a 70 pound collie dog, to go downstairs, through the living room and kitchen to the bathroom, when your room was all of 30 degrees and your blankets so very nice and warm?) Anyway, when temps drop below 15 F, things can get quite deadly, without some sort of heating source. I mean, one can live, with the right conditions and equipment, but it really is very dangerous in these parts...our cold is truly artic, at times. It comes direct from the polar ice caps/Canada. We're not all that far from Atlantic icebergs, you know, jet-wise, anyway. I suppose it's hard for someone not exposed to extreme sub-zero Farenheight temps to imagine it. Basically, stick your hand in a bag of ice for a half-hour, then you'll get just a tiny little idea of what I mean---picture that happening to your whole body for hours and even days.

I've worked and played in sub-zero temps. Worked in minus 60 and 70 windchills--not fun! Painful, yes. Fun, no. You literally have to cover everything, or you can suffer...once I was leading two horses down the drive, with a minus 70 farenheight windchill (not the actual air temp, windchill factor refers to what the air temp physically feels like with the wind blowing on you)Anyway, I had a horse by the lead, in each hand, walking down an icy drive--my face was covered by an oversize genuine cowboy bandana (real cowboy scarves--or "wild rags" as the actual buckaroos call them, are oversize and made of a material that keeps out wind) The wind was blowing a gale off the lake below the pasture, right stright on into my face...the wind chill was literally deadly, that day. My scarf slipped! It was only a 5 minute walk to the barn, but I got a serious burn on my cheeks that lasted for days...it was horribly painful...another 5 minutes, and the doc said I'd have had frostbite (which kills the skin). I almost got hypothermia that day, as well--and I was wearing protective clothoing! The boss sent me home early, ordering me to see a doctor. I wound up having to take a hot bath and was forced to stay in bed under blankets until my body temp came up. It wasn't fun. But I actually did go out that night, to an auction, so I did recover okay. I'm very used to the cold...hate the heat. My big problem now is I've got nerve damage that I didn't have then...so I have to be more careful and not so macho about being in the cold, as I don't have all the feeling in parts of my body.

Anyway, a day or so ago, I was terrified of living through another winter of subzero temps with little or no heat...I was very much in danger of being killed by the cold--this is no exaggeration on my part. I only own four blankets, and no sleeping bag, anymore. And a kerosene heater costs well over 100 dollars, and the nearest kerosene seller is a couple miles away. Not a pretty picture.

Then, yesterday--a complete about-face...sort of. I still owe tons of money, but the amount is more manageable now--times will be lean, but I will manage okay...and I will be reasonably warm, and will be able to cook and keep my internet, and see to change into my jim-jams at night, he-he.

And....

Today I got a New Year's gift from my best "local" friend--a complete shock on two fronts: one, the gift, a 50 dollar gift certificate to my favourite clothes store, Peter Harris (didn't even know they sold gift certs--they are the same as store vouchers)..and two...I only told her once, that I know of, last year, that I loved to shop at Peter Harris...fancy her remembering a tiny little detail like that? Amazing! I may only have a handful of friends--but what brillant friends they are! She said it was a think you gift for helping out with her sick mum. Whoa! That was over two years ago! She wrote that she'd meant to do something for me (not that I ever expected her to, I was pleased to help, I like her mum)..wow. I was floored--and, I went out tonight and shopped till I dropped!

Yes, shopping is great therapy for a woman...especially one that generally only shops for clothes once or twice a year--if that much. Acutally, I get as much fun from window shopping...but gosh, I admit, if was an upper, to go into the store, and buy without guilt. My friend insisted that if I didn't go and buy something, she'd be very disapointed in me...okay. So I took a ten-spot from my rainy day fund for cab fare, and went off to Peter Harris tongiht... I got a new pair of excellent quality jeans, a blouse, and a short cordouroy jacket, and a much-needed pair of winter boots (didn't have a pair anymore, as my old one's finally gave out last winter)..and guess what? I bought all that (the clothes were all drastically reduced, and had an additional 25 percent off besides) the cashier gave me 15 dollars change--I'm going to use it to go to the movies, New year's day, I think--haven't been to a movie in over 15 months, so I think I might go, if I can manage.) Isn't that great? I haven't done this in over 2 years! (I mean, shop without guilt or fret and worry over the expense!) Oh, it felt lovely. I was going to buy a posh dress, but they didn't have any I liked, and the winter coats were still too expensive...not marked down enough yet. So I bought a casual but dressy ensamble, and boots to tackle the snow and slush with. I shopped till I dropped--with glee! I got 28 dollars off the jacket, 22 dollars off the blouse, and 32 dollars off the jeans! I love a bargain! (halve those prices to convert to pounds--the jeans were originally 45 dollars, the blouse 28 dollars, the jacket was orig. 50 dollars. The boots, ummm...they were orig. 35 dollars and I got them for 13....AND, the county is doing a "shoppers special" to encourage post-Christmas shopping...sales tax on clothing is for this week only, reduced to 3 percent (as opposed to the usual 8 percent).

And to think, earlier this week, I felt like the hand of doom was looming over me, talk about an about-face! Man, my life is weird, sometimes.

Well, another fun day in Nancyland. I should turn my life into an amusement park with a reality show/horror/comic theme. Anybody want to hop inside for a ride? Didn't think so, ha-ha.

My morning was a trip into a mixture of sad irony, relief and utter head-banging fustration.

My afternoon/evening...didn't fare much better. Oh yeah, the screamers were on the loose and up to form, today. I called Canada, and got a guy, who, when I asked to speak to his wife, screamed at the top of his lungs, "NO, YOU CAN'T, YOU F__KIN'..." And that's where one hangs up and moves on--but not before I, in my best haughty snobby voice---having grown up with early exposure to both the new and old rich ('tho my family's income was lower-middle class), do this type of voice quite well, I told him that he needed to ask his "mother to teach him how to properly speak to a lady."...Them I hung up. Let some other hapless soul deal with the uncouth jerk, ey?

Another person, this time in Illinois, went on a long rambling tirade of how we kept ringing her home, and asking for someone who didn't live there,
and why do we keep calling her? I asked her, when she finally stopped to draw a breath, if she told the people ringing her, that they were phoning a wrong number..."Nooo---." (Oh, you could hear the lightbulb turning on inside her head, with that response). Have I mentioned how stupid we Americans often can be?

Yet another woman, this one in California, thought she was being cute (not), and asked me to hang on while she fetched the party I called for to the phone--then deliberately left me on hold. (They do that a lot, not realizing that it has no effect on me whatsoever...in fact, it's like getting a mini-break, ha-ha. I used the time to browse the Doctor Who clippings on the Times Online. I give them four or five minutes, as a courtsey--one never knows, it might be a 40 room mansion, or the person may be outside the caravan, feeding the chickens.

Well, anyhow, after dealing with Social Security foul-ups, and National Grid's abrupt about-face, and all the nasty people in North America--I am ready to be home now--'tho I have to get up early, tommorrow, to pay the electric bill.

Between the unwarrented aggrivation, the screaming people and a nasty sore tongue (my broken tooth is chafing the edge of my tongue) and the toothache/facial pain--I'm sometimes getting to be a grumpy old bear.

That is exactly what I DON'T want to be! I mean, wheter it's a snarky wife, or a snobby yuppie dame, or a crotchety old maid---I don't want to become any of the above, ever. Okay, I admit, it can be fun sometimes, being snarky or snobby or crotchety...but not as a habit, or even for more than a day or so...no way.

It's sort of like when we were kids--everyone wanted to be the bad guy, and be mean...okay, and we liked getting "shot" so we could fall down dead and roll down the hill and be really dramatic--or at least, I did :p The good guys were fun, and nearly always won the day, but the bad guys were much more exciting--you could get away with more, couldn't you?

I COULD EASILY BE THE GIRL IN THIS PHOTO--I EVEN WORE AN IDENTICAL OUTFIT!

I am very tired...I'm tired inside and outside, physcially and mentally.. But glad to be home. I am petting my cats, having a snack, blogging, and going to watch a few minutes of good ol' Doctor Who.

Watching Doctor Who is about all the "holiday" I get in this dodgy old life of mine, and boy, tonight, I just want to climb in the good ol' TARDIS with the Doctor and escape my life for 40 minutes or so.

Oh yeah, I did do something I never did before, tonight...I called Nuit Province in Canada, and talked to a real Eskimo (he was very nice, btw).

Okay, just lost half a day's pay running around to the bank--for no reason!!! Running around to Social Security and finding out...

I DO actually get a disability cheque!!! Arrgggh!

Seems the people I was speaking to were in SSI (Suplemental Security Income) which I STOPPED getting in March of 2005! They were the one's who told me I shouldn't be getting a cheque! Ugh! Govenment!

I was SUPPOSED to be talking to the SSD people! No one ever bothered to ask me--or tell me--what department I was speaking to, when I called--I had NO IDEA that there were "departments" now! There never were before! The whole system's changed in the past year, and the people there just assume John Q Public's going to know this automatically--tho' we've, naturally, NEVER been told! Arrggh!!!

So, SSI shunted me off the waiting room, to sit and wait some more (after a 40 minute wait to uselessly see someone from SSI) for the SSD lady to interview me.

I got a letter this summer telling me my payments would end in October--and and didn't get a cheque in November (till "surprise," one came in December)...so I assumed my cheques had stopped for good. Wouldn't you?

Long story (and wait) short: I get my SSD checques until March of 2005, and then, if I make under 850 a month in pay, I still get my 659 dollar cheque....this is a brand new policy, it seems. Nice of them to let recipients know this, ey? I've been fussing and sweating over the shut off notice, for nothing!!!

Oh, and it gets better (meant both literally and sarcastically):

When I spoke to Natl. Grid in early DEC. I was told I HAD to pay the entire 999 dollars! The minimum they'd let me pay was over 350 by the 15th, and I just couldn't swing that and still pay the rent on the 20th (rembering that I had a 659 dollar cheque sitting around the apartment, that I thought I had to give back).

NOW Natl. Grid is all sweetness and light, telling me all I have to pay for now is 169 dollars, and then I go on the budget plan--between 200 and 300 dollars--which is doable, though still hard. Arggh!!!

Why the hell didn't they tell me this in early December??? Arrgh!!!

So, to cut to the chase: I've been sweating out the last several weeks of Decmeber over nothing, only because people in this country don't blinking well tell you anything---or they don't listen to what you're saying or ask questions--or, they just are blinking stupid!

The picture below says it all.

Just a note about my last entry. Sorry. I am feeling a bit down and quite sorry for myself, today. Didn't realize how awful that last entry sounded, until I'd read it, just now.

A bit of the ol' 'poor me' syndrome, I guess. There's folks with a lot worse problems than mine, out there, as I am very aware of.

And besides, even if I was offered a ride in the TARDIS, I couldn't afford the time off from work, ha-ha!

Huh. If wishes were TARDIS's, I could escape this dodgy ol' life of mine and go somewhere else...somewhere, ANYWHERE!!! Back to a happier time in my life, to a secluded cabin somewhere, to Great Britain, Netherlands, Iceland...WW I...anywhere. But...

I'm stuck. I'm stuck and well and truly trapped in this life I have, and will just have to live with it, from day to day, week to week, until my time is done.

I had hoped that someday I'd have a job that was above poverty-level wages, but I guess that's never going to happen. At least, not around here at any rate. I could manage beautifully on 20,000 a year...could even do okay on 18, even. But, I'm stuck at 12 or 13, and that's at the high end of the poverty level scale, here in the states, for one person.

But I do get so very tired---literally, lately, it seems that the more ahead I get with my life, the harder I work, the worse things get...the more I make, the less I have. Is it supposed to work that way? I honestly had more when I was making 750 dollars a month on disability, then now when I'm averging 1100 dollars a month...it's stupid, but it's very true, I'm afraid.

Today, I make one last-ditch effort to keep my heat and electric going...shut off date is Jan. 2nd. I just don't have the money. Well, I do...if I don't pay my rent--that's not going to happen--not if I can help it. I will go without lights and heat in the dead of winter. I've lived without heat in winter before. And the hallway of the building is heated, so if temps drop to the sub-freezing level outside, I can always go out into the hallway--and maybe buy a kerosene heater later. I can buy a flashlight and eat tinned food...I will survive this, most likely...but it won't be easy. They want to put me on a "payment plan"...but the payment is way over my head, financially. Way, way over. It would leave me without money for food, quite literally, if I went with National Grid's plan. I truly hate National Grid--with a passion. A passionate hate? Is there such a thing?

Anyway...I'm resigned. I will do all I can, but if it's not enough...then, it's not enough. I will just have to live with it. Of course, if I'm shut off, it means no more internet at home. But, that's life. No magic genie is going to appear. I'm not going to win the lottery, I'm not going to magically find a high wage job, I'm not going to inherit anything, I'm just...totally screwed. I've no more chance of being well off, financially secure I mean, then I have of taking a trip in the TARDIS. Just not going to happen, ever. And I am learning to accept that. The best I can wish for (hope is a lost word to me now) is that someday I will make enough money to pay all the "main" bills, and have enough left over for food. Ha. Yeah, right.

The headlines in the news: "Over 1 million New Yorkers must choose between rent and food."

That's only news to the wealthier classes.

You may not be hearing much from me, again. I'm about to have my heat and electric turned off--in the dead of winter. And I'm working! Actually, if I was unemployed or still on disability, I'd be better off then I am now, when I'm working 39 to 50 hours a week! When I say I hate America--by God, I mean it. The American dream is a myth...the idea that all Americans are rich, is an outright lie. We don't even have NHS---millions and millons lose their homes every year and go hungry, and even die--yes, die--because they have no money for medicne and doctors---or, they spend all their money on medicine and doctors and have nothing left for food and shelter--so they (the elderly, families, the disabled) give up eating and having a roof over their heads, and go live in homeless shelters and ratty-assed motels and dilapidated dangerous public housing. And the rest of America simply doesn't know or care. And corporate America and the politicans--both state and national---remain blithely oblivious.

That's the REAL America. It ain't pretty. Millions out of work, millions more working with absolutely nothing to show for it (yours truly in this category), millions more homeless, millions and millions and millions. And the numbers are growing everyday, and no one cares.

What worries me is, I've seen this before: the French revolution, the Russian revolution--both grew out of an elitiest culture partying like there was no tommorrow--while millions suffer in an anonminity. It's happnening here--I mean it. I've talked to others---historians, political scientists, people in my own position who have the misfortune of being thinkiers---it's happening here...not the same as what led up to the other revolutions, but still...remarkably similar in many respects.

I can't say if it will ever come to that extreme here--Americans have been slowly discouraged from thinking..public schools in America are notoriously bad...and getting worse. Conservative poliiticans have threatend to remove funding for colleges who encourage "liberal" thinking (aka: thinking), and in fact, have been chucking out college funding for the needy (I am proof of that). Educational budgets are being slashed all over. Yet money magically appears for the big oil companies and other corporate powers. Money magically appears for projects that benefit the few, while projects that benefit those whose needs are desperate, shrinks and shrinks and shrinks. The American politicians give themselves nice raises while shouting down the need of low-income Americans for even a small raise in the minimum wage, so they can maybe eat decent or keep the roofs over their heads.

I'm no communist, but by gosh, in many repects, Karl Marx was dead on right about capitalism--or rahter, what we have now, extreme capitalism. This country's social structure is collapsing under the weight of coroporate greed and general apathy of those who are better off ("I've got mine, to heck with everyone else") and I don't know how much longer this country can survive without some sort of drastic change--or at least a little more realistic viewpoint on the part of her peoople.

Well, the snowstorm we were to get here in the southeastern Adirondacks never materialized...just a fine, nearly-invisible mist, with a bit of sleet thrown in for good measure.

A largely normal day at work--usual phones slammed in my ear and snarky housewives...did get a weird answering maching recording though--someone put their cat on the answering maching--no, really. When you ring up this person, you get her cat on her answering maching, meowing pitifully...probably recorded while witholding its dinner, if I know cats at all---and believe me, I do.

Tried getting into the BBC's Doctor Who website to see the Runaway Bride interview and also the Children in Need special...no luck. Click the button and...nothing happens...ab-so-freakin'-lutely nothin'. But, that's about par for the course, for me, I reckon.

Someone suggested that I write ol' auntie Beeb--yeah, like they will sincerely care whether someone like me gets a download or not. Pull the other one and get real, for pity's sake.

Came home to more threats of shut-off from National Grid...at least they waited until the day AFTER Christmas. Well, at least if I die from the cold, the cornorner won't have to put me on ice, ha-ha, I'll already be frozen!

Well, have had two offers of taping The Runaway Bride...fantastic! Something to make my days seem brighter--and they aren't going to be brighter unless I find that second job to keep my lights/heat on....but Doctor Who always makes me feel better, after watching it, always.

It's a bit dark and gloomy, this morning--still a wee bit of snow in the grass and on cars...but mostly wet and dull and grey out there. Hope the sidewalks aren't too icy as I walk to the big ol' CNA building down the way, for yet another fun day in the world of telemarketing and collections. I will remember to bring my aspirin, today, ha-ha. Off into the fun world of listening to the nastier side of American culture--the one they usually don't show in the movies or on tele. But sometimes, I get to make some elderly or poor person's day a bit less lonelier or maybe give them a smile--tho' I can't see it, I can hear it in their voices--and that makes taking all the massive verbal abuse for 10 hours, at 8 lousy 75 an hour, worth it (okay, sometimes worth it).

Okay, good thing I washed out some of those dirty knickers (I mistakenly thought city laundromats would be open the day before Christmas, remember)...'cause I was supposed to get up an hour eary and grab a cab to do my washing...but idiot girl forgot to re-set her alarm--so instead of getting up at 5:30, I got up at my usual 6:30...damn. Oh, well, there's always tommorrow..and I have a pair of clean trousers left and a blouse, so it's not like I have to re-wear something to the office, anyhow.

I had best get to the washing tommorrow--if nothing else, because if you open either of my two closets--it's a bit like a comedy, all the dirtys come pouring out.

(Also NOT a photo of my cat-- no camera)

Well, there I was, standing at the window, looking out at the wet snow--it began again, a while ago, and now there's a bit coating the grass and trees.

Anyway, I look down...and there's my fat (as in a Zepplin with fur) ginger and white Tom, Bonnie Prince Charlie, sitting staring longingly up at me, with his paw raised--and at his feet is the little wand with the string and colourful shiny tassels at the end. Awwww! It was sooo--cute! He loves his toy! It's very similar to one he used to play with (and was quite addicted to) when he was a wee kitten...he grew bored with it one day, so I stopped buying those sort of toys for him...but I guess he's feeling nostalgic for his kittenhood or something, because the joy on this cat's face over the gift of this toy...well, I don't have children, but the cats do sometimes act like one. The other two love it, wel...but Charlie's just a bit possessive of it--one of the other cat's comes near it, and he slaps his paw over the string! It's a real hoot!

So, it's exactly ten pm, here in the US, Christmas will be officially over in exactly two hours from now. Pity, that. Boring as it was, I did need the rest and a time out from my troubles--and I certainly got that today--and a bit of bad heartburn, as well---had my cheap mock Shepherd's pie, followed by some shortbread and coffee for dessert, and now I'm paying the price, ha=ha. I wil say something about tinned stew--trying to find the meat in it, can be a bit of an adventure, ha-ha.

Looked out the window, a while ago, expecting merely to see the wet street below, reflecting the orange street lamps---and....it was snowing! Great big lovely flakes of snow! On Christmas night! Hoo-ray! Great way to end Christmas of '06, ey? Of course, it went back to rain, after a bit...but still...it was nice to see--like a Christmas prezzie from God!

It's been a quiet day, here in Glens Falls....ah, ummm---did I sound just a bit like Garrison Keilllor from his radio programme there? Hmmm--the Adirondack Home Companion monolouge? He-he.

Well I had my wee bit of a cat-nap--I mean that literally...I was covered with all three cats.

NOT MY THREE CATS--BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE, EY?

Had some right weird dreams---in one, I was in some big old van and driving around our local area here, and mum was there, and I was going trail riding at some riding stable here in the Adirondacks--and explaining to the owner of the hack place that I couldn't spend the 300 dollars a month to lease a horse, as I had to pay my heat/light bill...funny how reality and daydreams mingle when you're sleeping, isn't it? I dreamed--I think---that DT's doctor was helping me pick out a snowshovel (here's where it really gets weird) so the two of us could go sledding down a nearby hill. (Why on earth a snowshovel and not a sled?)

So, this afternoon I blogged, surfed the Doctor Who Online site, worked a bit on my portfolio (scary, that...I hadn't realized how rusty my journalism skills were), wrote a whole two sentences in my lastest Dr Who fan fic story--and immediately chucked them...watched more Series II DW, read a bit, had last night's Christmas meal for lunch, took a nap....woke up totally bored. I mean totally. Like I would love it if something would happen right now--like in the movies...some handsome guy comes barging into my apartment, gun in hand, looking for the bad guy...and asks for my assistance....okay...stupid, I know. I'm screaming mad with boredom! Mind you, I'm NOT complaining, honest I"m not---I know better than most, that there's much, much worse things out there than being bored, ey? Anyway, I put dinner in the oven---mock shepherd' pie (in this case, a big tin of beef stew dumped into a casserole dish, topped with instant mashed potatoes and baked in the oven) and am sitting here, obviously, blogging some more. This may be my last "uneventful" day for a while, one never knows, so I"m going to make the best of it.

WINTER SCENE IN MY NATIVE UPPER HUDSON VALLEY, NORTHEASTERN NY STATE, USA.

Well, it's a dark and dreary Christmas afternoon. It's quiet..."I'll be Home for Chiristmas." Sung beautifully, if a bit sadly. Or maybe it just seems a bit sad, to me.

It's too quiet. Don't get me wrong, I like quiet, love it, even. But sometimes there are times when one needs a bit of noise in one's life: the sound of other humans...most especially the sound of those whom you are most fond--family and friends.

Family and friends being absent, and place a muted shroud over what should be a joyus holiday. But one compensates with memories. We use the memories to whisk away the shroud and shed light upon our souls.

I miss my mum sorely, this Christmas. I miss physically sharing Christmas with someone. Going round in the car to view the lights, going to Christmas eve service, the anticipation when you watch someone unwrap that carefully choosen gift, the humourous moments, the quiet moments of love and joy.

Mum always did her best to make Christmas special--which wasn't always easy with dad around (the older he got the more he detested Christmas and made no secret of it). But even after it was mostly just me and her, mum always humored me and shared with me--both good times and bad, and for that, I will always be grateful...the best gift she ever gave me was the happy Christmas memories.

On the first day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

A 24 pack of beer for when I decorate my tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Two hunting boots, and a 24 pack for when I do my tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Three fishing rods, two hunting boots, and a 24 pack for when I do the tree.

On the forth day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Four packs of beef jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots, and a 24 pcak for when I do the tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

FIVE KEGS OF BEER!

Four packs of jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots, and a 24 pack for when I do the tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Six tickets to stock car races, FIVE KEGS OF BEER! Four packs of jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots, and a 24 pack for when I do the tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Seven racks for my shotguns, six car race tickets, FIVE KEGS OF BEER! Four packs of jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots, and a 24 pack for when I do the tree.

On the eigth day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Eight girly videos, seven shotgun racks, six car race tickets, FIVE KEGS OF BEER! Four packs of jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots, and a 24 pack for when I do the tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Nine mounted deer heads, eight girly videos, seven shotgun racks, six car race tickets, FIVE KEGS OF BEER! Four packs of jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots and a 24 pack for when I do the tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas my buddies give to me:

Ten tins of chew tobacco, nine mounted deer heads, eight girly videos, seven shotgun racks, six car race tickets, FIVE KEGS OF BEER! Four packs of jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots, and a 24 pack for when I do the tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Eleven naked lady stickers for my pickup, ten tins of chew tobaaco, nine mounted deer heads, eight girly videos, seven shotgun racks, six race car tickets, FIVE KEGS OF BEER! Four packs of jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots and a 24 pack for when I decorate the tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my buddies give to me:

Twelve snowmobiles, eleven naked ladies, ten tins of chew tobaaco, nine mounted deer heads, eight girly videos, seven shotgun racks, six car race tickets, FIVE KEGS OF BEER! Four packs of jerky, three fishing rods, two hunting boots and a 24 pack for when I do the tree.

A REDNECK CHRISTMAS TREE WITH A BUDWISER BEER THEME.

So, Christmas morning, I'm munching on a pizza bagel, watching Doctor Who series II re-runs on my DVD (yes, again), watching Billie Piper playing Rose, when the phone rings.

Now, for most of you, that's probably not something to raise an eyebrow--but I've only had this number two weeks, rarely get calls anyhow, and was absolutely not expecting one today of all days (my sister doesn't celebrate Christmas, so while she will ring me on Thanksgiving and New Years--when or if she even remembers, dear ol' sis pretty much ignores Christmas).

Anyhow, the phone rings, I raise an eyebrow and turn off the computer's speakers and pick up the phone--wondering who on earth would be ringing me up today, of all days.

Mind you, I was just watching Billie playing Rose, right...so I pick up, say the usuaal "hello?" and this guy asks me if "Rose" is there.

He had my correct number, which is odd--to think a woman would change her number and not tell family about it...but besides that, "Rose" is not all that common a name, in these parts. Oh, there are a few, obviously, but not a whole lot, that I'm aware of, anyway.

Anyway, it was a bit amusing, when I thought about it, after I hung up the phone--the man was very nice, by the way--even wished me "Merry Christmas," which also surprised me--my experience as a telemarketer is that many Americans seem to get over-the-top annoyed when it comes to wrong numbers--not me, other people. But still...what are the chances of someone asking for "Rose" while you are watching a character named Rose, at a phone number only a handful of people are even aware of?

Well...it's Christmas day. Quiet, mostly. Traffic going by on below me on Glen Street (the main road in the city), a few people coming and going in the building from time to time--but otherwise, not much going on. Got most of my housework done, yesterday--still have the carpets to do, with the old broom and dustpan, but otherwise not much else to do--which is okay. I needed a quiet day to myself--haven't had any of those in quite a while. I am going to put more online job applications in, later on.

For now, Im going to finish watching Doomsday, maybe read a bit or grab a catnap (my toothache comes and goes...sometimes I hardly notice it, other times it makes my life positively miserable..the miserable times, I just take some more aspirin and wait for it to kick in--but hard to function when it's really bad--fortunately, that's mostly at night/morning).

The sun was shining earlier, but now it's clouding over. Not all that cold, for this time of year, in the 40's, farenheight, I think. I'm re-reading La'mour's "The Lonesome Gods"---okay, not his best, but a good read, mostly. I found a DVD I must have bought somewhere and forgotten. I was going through a box of VCR tapes and old DVD's that are mostly 2 or more years old--and watched even more than my Who DVD's--and that really is saying something. Anyhow, found an unopened DVD, and I don't ever rmember seeing it before--no clue where it came from--it was stuck to another DVD--it's one of those cheap ones one gets in the one-dollar store, or Wal-Marts for a dollar. "Clsassic Westerns," Old western TV series...a couple of which I remember from my childhood. So, I've that to watch as well. I bought a similar DVD from the one-dollar store recently...but it was a dud and didn't work.

Anyway, it's 11:15 in the afternoon here, reckon most of you are sitting down, or will soon be sitting down to your Christmas turkeys, or goose or chicken, or roast beef or whatever. Hope you all had a lovely Christmas!

ADDENDUM:

Well...guess I have to take back what I said about my sister never rining me up at Christmas--she just did. Seems her future mother-in-law passed away last week, and she wanted to let me know. She didn't wish me a Merry Christmas, but said she hoped I was enjoying my day off, which was nice. she and hubby-to-be are spending the day alone, sans kids, working on fixing their assorted junky cars...and she's trying to discourage her semi-wild kittens to stop climbing the ladder and quit playing on her roof. Why she doesn't just remove the ladder? No idea. The black bear has been at the end of her drive, teasing the dogs (who are chained up outside during much of the day) again. And she nearly ran into a moose with her truck, the other day. Other than that, shedidn't hve much to say.

THE STATE OF VERMONT: GREEN MOUNTAIN NATIONAL FOREST--WHERE MY SISTER RESIDES.

Well, the stereo finally stopped about 3/4 of the way throught Christmas Invasion--Yes, there is a God, and he is kind, ha-ha.

Dinner was brillant! Best Christmas dinner I've had in years! (Thanks to a certain friend, bless.) The beef turned out perfect--tasty, the recipe is around 50 years old--those old time cooks knew what they were about, I'd never have thought of braising a roast in Coke and sauteed onions! It was...ooohhhh---soooo---goood! A tiny bit of sweet and salty, brillant idea! The carrots (cooked with the roast), the baby peas, the mashed potatoes with gravy...wow! I'm stuffed...well, I did leave some room for the coffee and chocolate cream pie, . The whole meal cost all of about 10 dollars, too...which isn't bad for a holiday meal--even for one...and there's plenty of leftovers, enough for another round tommorow--if I let out my belt some, he-he.

So, I'm off to watch more Doctor Who...think I'll switch to Impossible Planet/Satan Pit...one of my favs. Played with the cats...they loved their gifts! They are so easy to please---pity humans aren't more like cats, ey?

I was thinking of gifts I got in the past that I enjoyed, that were genuine surprises and were really great. Top of the list (my teens to young adult years): a trip to the National Horse Show at Madison Square Garden in New York City (an early gift), a pair of snowshoes, my first (very used but servicable) western saddle (the stable I was riding at only had hunter-jumper saddles and I had to have my own to take stock seat (western) riding lessons)--that was my favourite present ever, back then. Let's see...a really cool backpack for when I went hiking..it had a photo of a moutain on it--it was really unique...and a cowboy hat (I'm very picky about my cowboy hats, btw--have had them since I was around 4 yrs old, they are literally a part of my personality, tho' I no longer own one, at the mo ). Ummm--anything horsey, I loved...my parents knew they were safe there. Ummmm---John Denver items, the same thing, a safe bet I'd love it. Got a guitar once--beautiful! Couldn't play the darn thing...but it was very pretty. :p Oh, one year, Christmas of 75, I think, I got two lovely model horses--an appaloosa and a paint horse--and they were all decorated with authentic Native American gear...The paint horse was pulling a travois behind it...the Appy had a native saddle and a bow and arrow, and real feathers in its mane--they were awsome!! I had them for years and years. In 83 or 84, I first latched onto Doctor Who...and somewhere mum found a TARDIS bank, with Peter Davidson as the Doctor, on it, and I treasured that gift, as well.

But what about those gifts I want by never got, ey?

Naturally, the pony/horse thing..still want one, btw, Santa, if you're reading this, ha-ha... a pony would just fit into my shower stall
I'd love a TARDIS...real one. A pick up truck would be nice...a trip abroad...a little cottage in the country...someone paying me for one of my works of fiction/plays (yeah, that's never gonna' happen, so it goes on this list) a bunch of Doctor Who memorabilia, a chance to go grocery shopping and buying whatever I want--no counting pennies , Ditto on clothing/shoes, some really fab model horses...a little plane to fly around it (a whim I had when I was 14 or so). Not asking for much, am I? Let's see...a trip to NYC to the Met. Museum of Art and the theater (have done the Met, but never the theater) with a carrage ride round Central Park thrown in, and of course, dinner. Ummm--of course the ultimate prezzie would be to go to the UK and visit Doctor Who locations (and my friends, of course). I'd love to take the train to Mexico's Copper Canyon, and visit the ruins at Chaco Canyon as well--speaking of trains, a model train set, with plenty of space to run it, and enough money to really do a great set-up like granddad had. Like I said, not asking for much... am I?

Oh, listen to the charming music: "I'll be home for Chistmas..." Uh, yeah, right.

There I was, cat-napping before making dinner--after an afternoon divided between blogging, cleaning house and washing dirty knickers...when....

BA-BOOM-BOOM=BOOM=BA--BOOM! Yeah, the kids in the building are blasting the old stereo just as loud as they possibly can! I hate heavy metal!!! So much for a nap and a quiet Christmas dinner! Home for the holidays...Ha! I hate living in an apartment...gosh I miss having a home of my own. Ah well, at least if the furnace and/or hot water heater breaks, roof leaks, pipes freeze, etc..., it's the landlord's headache, not mine. But with with this blasted toothache (which I think has infected my sinus'), the old boom-box reverberating the walls of the entire building (you can even hear it out on the blinking street outside) I"m not having a peaceful Christmas...if I were rich, I'd grab a cab, and pack off to a motel for a few hours, just to get some peace and quiet!

Ah well, will just have to play Christmmas Invasion at full blast to hear it properly...like to take those blasted thoughtless brats and dump my mop bucket over their heads! Not a very Christmassy sentiment, is it? Okay, I will forgive them for being mindless inconsiderate little rugrat gits...for about 10 minutes...then I go back to hating them!

AN ADIRONDACK SNOWFALL

Whoops! Just found out both the laundromats here in the city were closed today, for the holiday. Damn. Have to wash out my knickers by hand (wearing my last clean pair ) and go to the laundromat before work on Tuesday--will turn a 10 hour workday, into a 12+ hour day, but what're ya' gonna' do? So...good thing I'm napping part of the day, tommorrow.

And....I just found out the doorbell, which was supposed to be fixed, isn't working again....will have to tell anybody coming by unexpectedly, to hoot their car horn, to get my attention, in case the downstairs door is locked (which it usually is).

I was cleaning out the freezer and fridge, and found some leftover Chinese takeaway I'd put in the freezer and forgotten--guess what I had for lunch?

A few minutes ago, I had a real treat! I just finished reading the Doctor Who Christmas story on the Times Online site. That was an unexpected joy. Hooray!

So, nearly done with my chores, time to go take a nap or read or something of the sort. My blogs are a bit boring of late, but better boring than a crisis or sorrorw, right? That's my philosophy regarding boredom, anyhow.

Someone e-mailed me today, seemingly dismayed that I was spending Christmas eve doing housework and going to the laundromat...well, I've had to work Christmas eve...even Christmas day, more than once...so why is cleaning house or doing the washing do different? At least I'm not sitting in a chair for hours, getting yelled at, right? Could be worse, ey?

And, while I'm preparing Chirstmas dinner for the slow cooker (eye of round roast, seasoned with black pepper and a bit of sea salt, and browned on the stove, sauteed Vidalia (Southern sweet) onions, and carrots, put into the slow cooker and having half a can of Coke poured over it..simmered on low for 6 to 8 hours...freshed mashed potatoes and baby peas...a Christmas dinner fit for a queen--okay, maybe not THE Queen...but good enough for me.

And I've got good Christmas music on the internet (saving the old phonograph records for nighttime)...guitarist Ed Gerhard (fanstastic musician, btw), The semi-gospel/rock group The Staples and others. Cleaning the bathroom (still haven't gotten round to getting a mop, and have to do the floors the hard way, with a sponge Ah, well.

And in another hour or so, I'll ring up a cab and trundle off to the Suds, on Bay St.

In-between, doing a bit of applying for local jobs online.

I am not working today, as the office changed it's mind, but that doesn't mean I can't still do something productive, ey?

But when I get home, the house will be clean, the laundry done, and dinner not far away. The cat's will get their prezzies ( a toy ball, a feather and string hung from a wand, and a tin of tuna ) I will put on some music, and play some cards on the computer (cribbage, euchre, spades, whist and 7 card stud poker). Then it's make the veg for supper, put on DW Christmas Invasion, and have dinner. Stay up till midnight, listening to music and reading...petting the cats, and off to bed. A good Christmas, albeit if a quiet one... Tommorrow...nothing much. Sleep, eat, watch more Doctor Who, blog, work on my journalism portfolio, stuff like that.

Again, Merry Christmas to all.

Wow! Cool!! I heard a drum beating, and looked out onto the main street--the local soldiers are parading down the sidewalks, laden with Christmas gifts for the local poor kids in their rucksacks and leading off is a truck with a big Chistmas tree and the US and Marine Corps Flags flying...hurrah! What a nice thing to see on Christmas eve morning! Sadly, this is the second year I wasn't able to donate a new toy to the Marine Corps Toys for Tots campaign, but I'll do my best to get back on track, next year.

A lot of people think Americans are rich, but to put things in perspective, over 300 million homeless (that's just the one's the govt. admits to) reside in the US---many families and single mothers with children...and more and more, these people were middle-income Americans less than 10 years ago. Food pantries that supply free food to the elderly, unemployed, underemployed (low income workers) and disabled cannot keep up with demand this year...so if you live in the US and are reading this, please donate food, this year. Your local church or town hall can put you in touch with your local food pantry office.

So, I'm quite tired, but a relaxing morning. Had a Christmas treat of my favourite cheese and crackers for breakfast, chatted with some friends, with two offers of getting a copy of DW RB after Christmas---a Christmas wish come true, ha-ha!

Yes, post-Christmas promises to be unpleasant, but today and tommorrow are turning out to be much better than I'd ever have hoped for. I'm sitting chatting online with friends, the sun is shining, the Christmas music is playing (O Emanuel--the only Christmas song I can play (by ear) on the keyboards)...and the cats are fed and lying contented in the sunlight streaming through the front windows.

I've a nice Christmas dinner planned, and the cats have a prezzie or two...who can ask for more? It's hard being alone at Christmas...but I'm not really alone, this year, am I? So spending the day without fa