Actor David Tennant was less than thrilled that fellow actor Noel Clarke had chosen to have the beans for breakfast.
I've done a few, "Huh, isn't that somethin's" tonight :
Just noticed my stats. Don't look at them all that often, but saw where some 10 people looked at my website over 200 times in one day...okay, find that a bit..odd. Those stats either are wrong, or someones writing my biography. 
In packing, I found out that I own no less than 3 dictionaries...knew I had two...never realized, in all this time (lived here 7 months) that I actually had three. Hmmm...maybe the literary fairy left one for me when I lost that playscript in my computer back in June...you know, a tooth fairy leaves money..oh, never mind. Stupid joke.
Disovered I have a small blister on my palm, that I never noticed before...think one would, on one's palm, wouldn't you?
Had an e-mail from Colleges Online, with the heading (censored for this blog), "F*ck you dude." Well...that will get me to enroll, won't it? Not. I'm telling you, my family, on mum's side, has been over here since Jamestown..so belive me when I say, modern Americans are morons. I love my country...but the people...eh..only country in the world where the masses take pride in being stupid.
Found out that besides popcorn, my little cat Flame also likes pizza.
Good Morning!
Well some of your statistics might be due to me, because I spent 5 hours, even longer, reading your whole blog.
I would not have believed it would take so long. I was not skim reading, I suppose. Reading all the comments as well, making cups of tea and sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and afternoon tea.
So now I know quite a lot of your life since you started this particular blog.
I did send you a private message, possibly yesterday, about remaining in contact once you go off-line, because of your move.
Yes I see how it has been one thing after another for you. And yes I can see why for you there seems to be nothing you can do to control the events. Not all the hope in the world makes things change. Only good hard cash or luck or effort or friendships or generosity or love. Things like that.
Last night, in bed, I lay thinking how could you be helped out of your situation. On one hand I remembered my own similar situation. Going over my own details, as far as I can ascertain, the only thing I could do to change anything was to ask for help at certain particularly bad times. But that was so incredibly difficult to do when my confidence and will to live had all completly disappeared. So I think I only did that twice - it was for money to pay the rent and it was from my mother, a pensioner. So it was like robbing her of the little she had.
The other thing I did was keep on going because I could not figure out what else to do. Being constantly at the lowest points of life and like you, too weary to keep living with the "joke" called Life I tried to "off" myself several times.
In the end I noticed, after those failed attempts, that I wasn't dead so I might as well keep on living. And I stopped feeling guilty about not having the guts to kill myself. Once I stopped feeling guilty I thought I might as well just breathe and feed myself the best as I could and if I end up on the streets well I'll deal with it as it happens. I just made sure that I stayed away from dodgy areas or people so that if it got to the stage where I was to have to let life collapse around me then it had better be near some decent folk.
Because the feelings see-sawed so extremely it was impossible to trust myself about anything to do with the future. Through sheer obstinatcy, bloody-minded contrariness and blind anger with the universe and everything in it I worked myself up into such a cold hard rage that I think it was that that got me through some of the times.
I became detached from all my belongings and lost, through various upheavals nearly everything. I have probably no more than 5 items from my childhood. I have even less items from my early adulthood. I became detached from people and would not trust them.
Once I owned up to the fact that it was a Catch 22 situation, I didn't want to live as I was (I'd rather be dead) and I could not kill myself, I thought Well Fuck it, I'll stop trying to be normal and stable. I made sure I had 1) - a job to cover my rent and food and real basic necessities. 2) - Found a room to rent.
That was it. Nothing else mattered. No belongings, no people, no family, no friends, no personal belongings, nothing else was to get in the way of a job and a safe bed at night. I had a brain so I used it to fulfill those two things.
Then I said to myself well you like the countryside, go and walk in it on your no work days.
I didn't have to earn any more money than what was necessary. I had all my proper belongings in a few suitcases. That was my arranged life. And that's when I started to relax a bit. Only then.
So as I said I lay in bed thinking how could I help you. Actually, you have not asked for help on this blog-site, I realised. So I tried to remember what were the steps that got me where I am today. I made my own simple plan based on, a place to sleep and, a job to cover the necessary expenses. If that meant down-sizing, moving, giving-up favourite things, so be it. Only when I was sure I had done that, then I relaxed. Nothing else mattered at all. Because, I realised, I was going to die one day anyway, so all I had to do was stop thinking and worrying, just work at the job, eat, sleep, clothe myself. Death would find me eventually.
Now that was the way I dealt with myself and my life. I know for a fact you have a different life and a different mind. My story isn't going to change your story. But by golly you will bloody well survive. You will use your mind, your brain, your attitude, your guts. Because I see that you have the sheer guts. You have a bloody good brain. You have an attitude. You have anger. You have the bloody-mindness to get the job done. The job is to EFFIN Survive!
I don't care how you do it but plan out your survival. I don't think for one second you are a wimp or a softy. I don't think you are begging for help. I think you are a decent human being you wants a break in life. If you think you can't make the break yourself then choose your people and ask for help. If that isn't your way then choose your plan and knuckle down to it. Because by GOLLY - YOU ARE A SURVIVOR! And you WILL bloody well have a LIFE. What else are you going to do with your time on this planet?
Do I sound angry with you? Because I'm not you know. I WANT you to get through this like I havn't wanted anything for a long while. You make me want to live properly. I want you to live properly. Like a decent human Being should be able to.
So! Can I still visit you and read what you are doing. Will you send me a private message. Tell me to F off if you think that's best. But YOU, keep to your plan and be as wise as you can about what you need to do.
I hope to hear from you soon. Regards, Wifey